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Thread: Songs that will never be heard on elevators

  1. #1
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Songs that will never be heard on elevators

    Remember Muzak? It used to be synonymous with that awful 'elevator music' you were subjected to while shopping for Father's day slippers at Montgomery Wards. While they still play lots of 'easy-listening' tunes, I guess the company changed the way they do business a few years ago and no longer does (i.e.destroys) covers of popular tunes - Thank Allah!

    I was glad when I learned I didn't have to listen to Muzak'ed versions of Sgt. Peppers anymore (and yes I did hear a muzak version of it once), but who is to say that some other corporate monster won't pick up the thread and start destroying beloved tunes once again? Before that happens we Cyburbians must ban together and come up with an off limits list of songs that must never be turned into easy listening. Here's a few to start:
    Back in the Black - AC/DC
    Winona's Big Brown Beaver - Primus
    Rockit - Herbie Hancock
    Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
    Revolution #9 - The Beatles (I dare 'em to try, though)
    Communication Breakdown - Led Zepplin
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    Damage Inc. - Metallica
    Jesus Saves - Slayer
    Fock the Police - NWA
    GLGBNAF - Ice T
    My Name is Mud - Primus

    ************

    I could see Back in Black being in an elevator. Honestly I swear that nothing is truly sacred.
    "And all this terrible change had come about because he had ceased to believe himself and had taken to believing others. " - Leo Tolstoy

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Tom R's avatar
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    tunes

    Why don't we get drunk.....J Buffett
    The Rodeo Song
    WALSTIB

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Joe Iliff's avatar
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    The Water Buffalo Song - Larry the Cucumber
    JOE ILIFF
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  5. #5
         
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    Last Caress - Metallica
    Bark at the Moon - Ozzie
    Paul Revere - Beastie Boyz

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Jaxspra
    Last Caress - Metallica
    UH, that would be Last Caress by The Misfits.... I'm sure NHP would have pointed this out.
    "And all this terrible change had come about because he had ceased to believe himself and had taken to believing others. " - Leo Tolstoy

  7. #7
    Love will tear us apart (again) Joy division
    Baba O'Rily The who
    Radio radio Elvis Costello

  8. #8
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    I woul rgue that comfortably numb could be heard in an elevator.

    Here is my list

    Anarchy in the UK - Sex Pistols
    Warthog - Ramones
    Broken Hearts are for AXXholes - frank zappa
    Lets kill the landlord - dead kennedys
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  9. #9
         
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    Quote Originally posted by Budgie
    UH, that would be Last Caress by The Misfits.... I'm sure NHP would have pointed this out.
    No honey, I meant Metallica, maybe I got the name wrong....Last Caress/Green Hell

    Moderator note:
    Lyrics clipped....not really appropriate. Poeple can google the lyrics if they're interested.
    Last edited by Jaxspra; 07 Aug 2006 at 11:07 AM.

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Jaxspra
    No honey, I meant Metallica, maybe I got the name wrong....GLast Caress/Green Hell
    Yes, darling sugar plumb, but these two songs were first recorded by The Misfits and covered by Metallica.
    "And all this terrible change had come about because he had ceased to believe himself and had taken to believing others. " - Leo Tolstoy

  11. #11
         
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    Quote Originally posted by Budgie
    Yes, darling sugar plumb, but these two songs were first recorded by The Misfits and covered by Metallica.
    Thank you, thank you...I had no idea . I have only heard it by Metallica...
    And regardless who sang/sings/sung it, I bet we'll never hear it on an elevator

  12. #12
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by donk
    I woul rgue that comfortably numb could be heard in an elevator.
    but for the extended guitar solo, you'd be right (thank you extended guitar solo).

    On a semi-related note, Frank Zappa hated muzak more than anyone on earth. Does anyone know if there's truth to the rumor/myth that Zappa planned to buy the company so he could torpedo it?
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  13. #13
    Forums Administrator & Gallery Moderator NHPlanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Budgie
    UH, that would be Last Caress by The Misfits.... I'm sure NHP would have pointed this out.
    Thanks Budgie!

    Other Misfits songs you won't hear:

    Die, Die, My Darling
    Mommy, Can I go Out and Kill Tonight?
    Death Comes Ripping
    Horror Hotel
    Skulls

    I'll stop there. Pretty much their entire catalogue is inappropriate for elevator music.
    "Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund

  14. #14
    Corn Burning Fool giff57's avatar
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    I think it's a pretty safe bet that "Crazy Bitch" by Buck Cherry will not be on any elevator.
    “As soon as public service ceases to be the chief business of the citizens, and they would rather serve with their money than with their persons, the State is not far from its fall”
    Jean-Jacques Rousseau

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    Quote Originally posted by giff57
    I think it's a pretty safe bet that "Crazy Bitch" by Buck Cherry will not be on any elevator.
    I think that may one of my newest favorite songs!! I LOVE that song...and I think your correct, we won't be hearing it on any elevators....

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Hceux's avatar
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    The first unsuitable song to be played in an elevator that came to me was: "Jumpin' Jumpin' " by the Destiny's Child.

    I'm sure it wouldn't be a comfortable moment hearing this song played in an elevator, being encouraged to jump up and down in the elevator.

    Hey, talking about this reminds me of this song that has a "jumping" dance move, which I heard and saw only once - at my grade 8 graduation. I totally forgot about it.

  17. #17
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by giff57
    I think it's a pretty safe bet that "Crazy Bitch" by Buck Cherry will not be on any elevator.

    I hate that song! I wish they would stop playing it on the radio so much

    If I ever build a building most of the songs mentioned on here will be playing in the elevators - unaltered of course.

  18. #18

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    Diamandas Galla-Plague Mass
    Dimmu Borgir-Lepers Amung Us
    Elend-Into Bottomless Perdition (get it.....elevator....BOTTOMLESS perdition....collapsing elevator cable? )}

  19. #19
    Cyburbian safege's avatar
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  20. #20
    Cyburbian Luca's avatar
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    FOr sheer numbing controversiality and screeching guitars, 'Animal' by the Sex Pistols beats "Anarchy in the UK" by a mile, all about abortions, etc. Truly, positively calculated to p### anyone born before 1960 off instantly and without recourse.

    My wife 'pretends' to get mad when I play it around the kids.
    Life and death of great pattern languages

  21. #21
    Let's Impeach the President - Neil Young
    Love in an Elevator - Aerosmith
    Feel Good Hit of the Summer - Queens of the Stone Age
    (chorus - "Nicotine, valium, vicodin, marijuana, ectacsy and alcohol...co... co... co... co... co... co... COCAINE!")

  22. #22
    Corn Burning Fool giff57's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by imaplanner
    I hate that song! I wish they would stop playing it on the radio so much
    The radio version is missing about half the lyrics I like the song, even more so after I heard it at the bar Saturday night at 2:00 AM high on tequila.
    “As soon as public service ceases to be the chief business of the citizens, and they would rather serve with their money than with their persons, the State is not far from its fall”
    Jean-Jacques Rousseau

  23. #23
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    "Why don't we do it in the road?" (Beatles)
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    "Cowboy" (Kid Rock)

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  24. #24
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    As it so often happened, those Akron-based Spudboys (aka Devo) were light years ahead of their time and had the wherewithal to record their own EZ-listening versions of their hits!!!

    http://members.home.nl/smartpatrol/Ez.html#a1s16

    What a hoot!
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  25. #25
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
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    I doubt the will play this song...

    Bloody Mother F***ing A**hole by Martha Wainwright
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

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