My trouble in life is that I just don't have nearly enough things to fret about. I found a good way to alleviate that situation, though. Simply raise a baby and read one of those parenting books like 'What to Expect Baby's First Year' or 'Raising Healthy Children' or whichever one, it really doesn't matter, any of 'em will do, and turn to a page listing milestones for development at X age. Sure enough, I did and found out that upon turning 12 months a baby should be just beginning to grasp the principles behind differential calculus, this is around the age where he'll pick up a purple crayon and begin scrawling a treatise on the dialectic processes involved in neo-post-modernism on his little scribble book.
Yes, those smarmy tomes are filled to the brim with reassuring advice like, "at 12 months your child will wish to express themselves and communicate with the outside world. Perhaps s/he may draft up some blueprints for a simple device, such as an air conditioner - don't be surprised if your little one creates a design using only non-metric parts! Just be patient with your toddler, keep plenty of erasers handy and remember when you were that age you might have done much the same yourself"
Okay, maybe it didn't say exactly that, but that's how I felt when I read that a 12 month old should enjoy stacking blocks. If I set out blocks for my one year old he'll pick two up and hit them together like a caveman attempting to start a fire. If I start to stack them to demonstrate how they work he'll gleefully knock them down every time, but will never stack them. I got him one of those Fisher Price toys where you put the rings on the peg. He will never put the rings on the peg - just tears them off. Got him one of those boxes with the square, circular and triangle shaped holes you're supposed to fit the cube, ball or pyramid through - he'll only dump the objects out of the box and will never put them in. His favorite toy is a plastic club which he loves to hit people/things with . I'm begining to think I'm raising a visigoth intent only on destruction and incapable of any constructive acts. Should he look forward to a promising career as a sanitation enigneer, a neighborhood controlled substance distributor, or perhaps a job in the field of food service?