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Thread: He's Leaving Home, Bye, Bye

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    He's Leaving Home, Bye, Bye

    OK, who remembers The Beatles tune "She's Leaving Home", from the SGT PEPPER album? Now change the gender.....

    Katie's son has moved out, at age 19.75. He has rented an apartment, with a good buddy, about a mile from our Swanton, OH, home. Last night I helped him move some stuff. Today he came back for more.

    He is at that age when he wants to prove something.....probably to himself, to Katie and this Bear, and to his Father. I have to say, he has acted very adult in his dealings with this new adventure.....a maturity that I had not seen before.

    Prior-to his move, when the clothes hamper was "missed", lights left on, dishes unwashed, grass uncut, loud friends in his basement room.....Katie was very anxious for him to slide away. But on the night of the move.....some tears were flowing. Katie seems much better today and is getting excited about making some changes to rooms, etc.
    _____

    This Bear was 20 when I slid away from the apron strings. It was the night of my first marriage.....a rather quiet and quick event at a Magistrate in Monroe, MI. After the ceremony we stopped home.

    "Hi, Bear," Mom said, smiling as we walked in.
    "Hi, Mom. We just got married."
    "OMG."

    That was the night I left.
    _____

    My son left home when he was in his early 20s. My son and my step-daughter engaged in an act that produced by first grandchild..... .....and they rented a tiny house in west Toledo.
    _____

    Katie left home to live with her boyfriend, back in the day. But they were very poor and her boyfriend at that time was a loser so she moved back home. She stayed at home for another year or two, moving out in her early 20s.
    _____

    How about you? When did you go out on your own and leave the comfort and security of the home you grew-up in?

    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Otis's avatar
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    After I graduated from highschool in Northern Virginia (at age 18) my parents moved to San Diego. I stayed with friends in Virginia for the summer. My parent's new San Diego house had a room that was "my room" although I only used it when I was not at college (in L.A.). I spent the summer after my freshman year partly in the LA area and partly in Northern Virginia. After my sophmore year at college my parents moved to Virginia Beach. The new house there did not have a room that was my room. So I guess I was kicked out on my own at that time in the sense of having my own place, although my parents continued to fund college and graduate school. I was truly on my own after I finished school at age 26.

  3. #3
    Cyburbian hilldweller's avatar
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    Like a steam locomotive rolling down the track
    He's gone, gone, and nothing's gonna bring him back
    He's gone...

    Time for some Europe '72

  4. #4
    When I left for college when I was 18. As I related in a previous post, I was happy to leave the town I spent time in growing up.
    When did I go from Luke Skywalker to Obi-Wan Kenobi?

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Went off to college at 18 and learned to live on my own. Had my first apartment, outside the dorm, at 20. What a relief!

  6. #6
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    I graduated mid year my senior year in high school which coincided with my 18th birthday, I was gone the next month having moved in with a male friend that I worked with (strictly platonic). We lived together for 9 months until he got engaged. I had an offer from some friends that had gone to Montana to join them so I told my mother that, gave her my cat, and I was on a Greyhound bus to Livingston, MT (yes, of Jimmy Buffet fame). I lived in Montana for about 6 months, decided it was too cold and that I wanted to go to college so back to mom's I went. Started dating someone and badabing....mini-me was on the way. Stayed with mom until I got married when mini-me was two. Lived out until she was forced to retire on disability when we had to move in with her to cover her expenses until I moved to SC, she died 4 months after that.

    I tell mini-me she doesn't have to leave until she's ready to, but that doesn't mean she will be a leech either. No college, no free rent
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  7. #7
    Cyburbian illinoisplanner's avatar
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    I will be living in an apartment close to campus next school year. But I don't intend on moving away from home permanently just yet.

    I don't think my parents want me out of the house yet, and I'm not yet willing to surrender the convenience and security of being able to live at home (during breaks and weekends) yet.

    But I imagine I'll move away permanently in about 3 years (age 23 or so), should everything go well.

  8. #8
    Cyburbian the north omaha star's avatar
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    I left for college at 18 and came back when I was almost 20. Left for Baltimore in 1997 when I was 23. I haven't back home to live since.
    I am recognizing that the voice inside my head
    is urging me to be myself but never follow someone else
    Because opinions are like voices we all have a different kind". --Q-Tip

  9. #9
    Cyburbian jmello's avatar
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    I left home for college in Philadelphia when I was 18. My mom moved in with my current stepfather immediately afterwards. I no longer had a room to go back to. I have lived on my own ever since.

  10. #10
    Unfrozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
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    Haven't lived with my parents year round since I left town for school at 19. Though, my parents did pay for part of my living expenses during undergrad and grad school, and I finally was totally separated (finanically) from them when my wife (then fiancee) moved to Chicago in 2002 (I was 24).

    Now with our first child on the way, I hope that he will be gone by 20. Anytime beyond that and I will start eviction proceedings.
    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    The ends can justify the means.

  11. #11
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Bear Up North View post

    This Bear was 20 when I slid away from the apron strings. It was the night of my first marriage.....a rather quiet and quick event at a Magistrate in Monroe, MI. After the ceremony we stopped home.

    "Hi, Bear," Mom said, smiling as we walked in.
    "Hi, Mom. We just got married."
    "OMG."

    That was the night I left.
    You NEED to write a book about your life!

    For me, I was 18, it was fall, and I was off to college. It was only an hour away and I was leaving my family and a Girl Friend behind. Her and I did see each other just about every weekend for the first several months, but I quickly realized that there was quite a bit that we would both be missing out on being in a long distance relationship at that point in our lives.

    I have always been very independent so I was excited about my new adventure, even if it was living in a dorm. I did move back home for a few months after I finished college and before I got my first job, in which case I moved 16 hours away and only came home twice in the year that I was out there.

    Now I live 8 hours from my home town, and I am ok with it. I talk to my parents once or twice a week, but I like my life down here.
    If you're not growing, you're dying. - Lou Holtz

  12. #12
    Left home really for good when I was 19. I spent the summer at home between my 2 years of college and once that was done I was gone for good. I got an apartment with two friends from school in downtown Boston. We got a break on the rent since the previous tenant had been, shall we say, creative in his choice of decorating colors..... black walls, upside down red crosses on the doors and black lights in the fixtures...... when my parents moved me out of my dorm and into the place my mother almost had a heart attack. She cried when she saw it. Can't believe it's been that long.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    at 18 i left for college and spent summers at home. after graduation i moved out to arizona and lived with my BF would had been accepted to ASU for grad school. after a few months in arizona i got a decent job in NJ & moved to my 1st apartment on my own in Bloomfield, NJ.
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Fat Cat's avatar
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    Fat Cat

    Graduated from high school at 17 and entered the military, they provided me with every thing that I needed and some things that I didn't realize that I needed.

    Later the military time paid for my undergrad and for our first house.

  15. #15
    Cyburbian GeogPlanner's avatar
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    I left home each summer in high school only to return in the fall. After high school, I left for college...then I transferred and came home to become a commuter student. The first future Mrs. and I moved out of our parent's homes and in together after graduating from college, homesteading next to my parent's old house where our neighbor moved away and let us have the placed for $50 a month in exchanged we maintained the property for him. We split up a year later, I moved into a loft across the River. A year later, I moved back home (due to a job residency requirement) where I stayed for 2 years. Which brings me to my current abode...an apartment with a friend from college about 10 miunutes from mom and dad's current home. That ends in December when the current future Mrs. and I will merge a month ahead of the wedding...oddly enough in the 2nd floor flat that her parent's own.

    It seems I can never quite escape.
    Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after and only after the design is complete. (Often called the 'Now They Tell Us' Law) - Fyfe's First Law of Revision

    We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans. -- George W. Bush , Scranton, PA -- 09/06/2000

  16. #16
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    I left my parents home at 18 and moved an hour north of Denver for school. I came back that next summer to work for my Dad and that was the summer my folks moved out of their old house (the one in which I lived my whole life thus far) and therefore I really had no "home" to go back and visit. Sad really.
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  17. #17
    moderator in moderation Suburb Repairman's avatar
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    Well I pretty much checked out when I left for college. I would come home for two months during the summer & holidays, but that was it. When I graduated, I was engaged to my now wife. We did not move in together for a couple of reasons: mainly because my parents were very conservative and we didn't want to rock that boat if we didn't have to (at this point I was feeling guilty about how I treated my parents growing up), and I didn't want to sign a lease anywhere until she graduated and had a job lined up.

    I stayed at home for 9 mo. after I graduated, then moved out permanently. We now live about five houses down from her parents, which is cool because they pretty much leave us be. My wife & her mom are very close, so it doesn't bother me. I view that as free babysitting in the future!

    "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

    - Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)

  18. #18
    Cyburbian Tom R's avatar
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    bye bye

    I was 18 on July 11 and joined the Army on July 12. (Didn't actually go on active duty until August 21) I was prime draft bait and was guaranteed electronics training. Stayed at home for 6 months after I got out.
    WALSTIB

  19. #19
    Cyburbian Plus PlannerGirl's avatar
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    Left a week after I graduated High School, moved 8 hours away and never moved back. It was do or die and this little duck never stoped swimming.

    There were lots of times all I had to eat was noodles and limonaid but I was happy and on my own. After my divorce dad BEGGED me to move to live with him in Orlando but nope I was not ever going to move back in with a parent.

    Left 15 years ago and not going back
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin

    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"

  20. #20
    Cyburbian cch's avatar
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    Lived at home and went to community college till I was 19, then went to the university and lived in a dorm for a year, came back home for the summer, then at 20 I got an apartment and started living in sin with the bf. That lasted 8 months, and then I got an apartment with some high school buddy (platonic guy). From that point on I didn't go back home for summers anymore. After I graduated at age 22 I moved back to my hometown for my first job. My parents tried to talk me into living with them (my room was untouched, as it still is today), so I could save more money, but I insisted I be on my own. Lived in an apartment alone for about a year until my now-husband moved in with me. A couple years later we were married and moving about 4 hours away from our families.

  21. #21
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
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    Turning 24 soon and still at home- havent been given an eviction notice yet, and wont for a very very long time im sure.
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

  22. #22
    Cyburbian
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    Well I kindda left home at 19 when I came to Santiago to study... I say kindda because I still spend at least 2 months back home during the summer and winter vacations and a couple of long weekends. But since I've been living alone since I was 20 in an apartment... Home is already here... and not at my parent's house. I guess I'm still in between or something like that....

  23. #23
    Cyburbian Flying Monkeys's avatar
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    My mom’s house was small and crowded. I moved into my older brothers place (a three bedroom party house, he had two roommates, I got what we call a 'Florida room' here, or called a closed-in-porch.) when I was 16 and half. It was tough to keep it together and go to school. But I had a car. Car = Independence in America. I worked at nights in local reasturants. I learned a lot about money, and the lack of it those first years out.
    What’s in a name? – Your reputation….:)

  24. #24
    Cyburbian Plus
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    Left in 1981.

    Did not go home to Mom's for Christmas until 1992 and Thanksgiving until 2005.

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    Update

    Uncrating an old thread.....

    Katie's son molved back in to our Swanton home in May, 2008. He just could not afford to pay the entire rent for his apartment. He had a series of friends moving in and out.....including a "friend" that moved out after trashing the joint and not paying any of the back-owed rent monies.

    He has been living in our basement since moving back. He was going to college, dropped out, and is considering going back.

    But, the other day he told his Mother that he was considering joining the military. Katie just about had a coronary. She does not want her only son to join the military.

    This Bear thinks that a decision to join would be helpful to her son.

    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

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