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Thread: The NEVERENDING Raising Children Thread

  1. #251
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Note to self: don't call kjelsadek after you've had a couple of glasses of wine and you need to pee bad. The woman will talk your ear off.


    Why did I post this comment here? I have no clue.
    Last edited by Richmond Jake; 18 Jan 2009 at 12:59 AM. Reason: without a clue

  2. #252
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by RichmondJake View post
    Note to self: don't call kjelsadek after you've had a couple of glasses of wine and you need to pee bad. The woman will talk your ear off.

    Why did I post this comment here? I have no clue.
    Well you called me remember. Besides I was unlocking the mysteries of women for you...sometimes it takes a while to teach an old dog something new.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  3. #253
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kjelsadek View post
    Well you called me remember. .....
    When you call somebody, that number stays on your cell phone.

    Mysteries of women? Holy shit. My brain is still firing blanks.

    Nice talking to you.

  4. #254
    Cyburbian Raf's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by btrage View post
    Perfect. She decided that her fear of the poo-poo was not going to get in the way of getting yet another My Little Pony. She must have 5 or 6 of them now.
    Congrats dude. We have had a break through ourselves with the "diabla". She has totally stopped having accidents at night and tonight she told me she needed to go poo poo and than came out and said she wasn't afraid of the "poo" anymore. She even asked me to take a picture to show mama.


    I did


    I showed mama....



    She laughed....

    We still have the occasional accident, but it usually involves her playing on the playground and so excited to be there and a few hours since we asked her to go or reminded her.
    follow me on the twitter @rcplans

  5. #255
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    R.T. pissed off at me over her History II placement next year. Her current teacher recommended A.P. History next year. Today she came home and said that there was a mix up in the criteria so the recommendation can only be honors History since her overall score in the class is not sufficient for A.P. next year. I have the right to override the recommendation to her counselor, but refused to do so because her grade isn't to the standard to succeed in A.P. So...I'm Public Enemy #1 tonight.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  6. #256
    Cyburbian
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    Quote Originally posted by kjelsadek View post
    R.T. pissed off at me over her History II placement next year. Her current teacher recommended A.P. History next year. Today she came home and said that there was a mix up in the criteria so the recommendation can only be honors History since her overall score in the class is not sufficient for A.P. next year. I have the right to override the recommendation to her counselor, but refused to do so because her grade isn't to the standard to succeed in A.P. So...I'm Public Enemy #1 tonight.
    My daughter took AP and regretted it. She wished that she took Honors History instead.

    Look on the bright side; RT will find a different reason to brand you Public Enemy #1 some other time.

  7. #257
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kms View post
    My daughter took AP and regretted it. She wished that she took Honors History instead.

    Look on the bright side; RT will find a different reason to brand you Public Enemy #1 some other time.
    OK, now I don't feel so bad. She works hard for the grades she gets and I don't have any issues with her school performance. I just don't want to put her in a class that I think she's going to struggle with and in turn despise the subject entirely. I do foresee some A.P. classes in her senior year in science and math which she excels at. For now I am enjoying the total control over the tv remote since she's pouting in her room.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  8. #258
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kjelsadek View post
    R.T. pissed off at me over her History II placement next year. Her current teacher recommended A.P. History next year. Today she came home and said that there was a mix up in the criteria so the recommendation can only be honors History since her overall score in the class is not sufficient for A.P. next year. I have the right to override the recommendation to her counselor, but refused to do so because her grade isn't to the standard to succeed in A.P. So...I'm Public Enemy #1 tonight.
    My parents made me take AP English, History, and Latin. Talk about hating the parents. You probably made the right call. I wish my parents had thought about me as a person, instead of bragging on what they signed me up for. Glad you're thinking about what is best for R.T.

    I'm getting resigned to the fact that my kid probably won't go to college. He's bright enough but has no interest. Well, maybe we can get a discount at Wal-Mart when he ends up working there...

  9. #259
    Cyburbian Raf's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kjelsadek View post
    R.T. pissed off at me over her History II placement next year. Her current teacher recommended A.P. History next year. Today she came home and said that there was a mix up in the criteria so the recommendation can only be honors History since her overall score in the class is not sufficient for A.P. next year. I have the right to override the recommendation to her counselor, but refused to do so because her grade isn't to the standard to succeed in A.P. So...I'm Public Enemy #1 tonight.
    Inform RT that if she feels so compelled to, she can still take the AP History test even though she wasn't enrolled in the class. I did at my high school (and we didn't even have an honors course) by paying the 80 bucks (in 1999 $) and took the test. 4 weeks later received my score, pleasantly surprised it was a 5. If she is in it for just the extra grade point, i think the honors class is just as weighted as the AP class.

    Than again, this is from the same dude that took History as a part of SAT II (do they still have that test? ) and scored a 780.

    Heh, she will get over it. Thanks for reminding me what i have to look forward to in say 13 years.
    follow me on the twitter @rcplans

  10. #260
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess View post
    My parents made me take AP English, History, and Latin. Talk about hating the parents. You probably made the right call. I wish my parents had thought about me as a person, instead of bragging on what they signed me up for. Glad you're thinking about what is best for R.T.

    I'm getting resigned to the fact that my kid probably won't go to college. He's bright enough but has no interest. Well, maybe we can get a discount at Wal-Mart when he ends up working there...
    Thanks. I've seen what happens when kids are pushed hard academically. Learning is a life long process and I don't see the need to have it all crammed into 4 years while under the age of 18.

    ZG your son might not have an interest now, but he might come around to it in his own time. There are quite a few technical trades that don't require a tough academic regimen and still provide a good earning. Finding something that piques his interest will be the key.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  11. #261
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Mortification at the checkout line

    Last month I was telling my friends how proud I was about Junior and how well he was doing lately at the store. Junior was a pretty good shopper up until he hit the age of 3 and it was downhill from there. He's had a couple of tantrums in the store about wanting to leave but the worst thing with him usually has always been grabbing things off the shelf and handling/breaking them, throwing things into the cart when we aren't looking, or pulling things out of the shopping cart and handling/breaking them. I was so pleased that we hadn't had any incidents the last few times out that I thought we were through the nightmare shopping phase.

    Lately he has added a new trick to his bag. He's stopped breaking things now he's bent on commenting on people in the checkout line. A couple weekends ago we're standing in line and there's a heavy set lady in front of us whose shirt is riding up and Junior announces "Look daddy, that lady is fat". Now fortunately there was not a hint of judgement in his tone and she was really cool about it smiled and said something to him like 'yes dear people come in all shapes and sizes'. But last night, however, he took it to a new level. We're in line and Junior says "Excuse me" really loud, then a few seconds later says "Excuse me" again even more emphatically. Finally Junior points to the older guy in front of us and says "Daddy that man farting alot and not say excuse me." I shush him but that only gets Junior pouty and sullen and he proceeds to engage in dialogue with himself....."Daddy not fair....man farting....not say excuse me.....wonder why he farting so much...not saying excuse me.....farting man....". Meanwhile the guy in front of us is stoicly ignoring all of this but then the guy behind us can't hold it in any longer and starts busting up laughing. At that point the old dude turns around and says "I think you need to teach that boy some manners." I didn't know what to say at that moment. What would you have said/done (several witty/impolite things occurred to me then but I failed at that critical moment) and more importantly how would you prevent future occurrences of this sort?

  12. #262
    Cyburbian cch's avatar
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    I don't think there is much you can do Maister, except wait for your boy to get older. My daughter says similar things sometimes, and I just try to get her to think about how she'd feel if somebody talked about her like that.

    One time we were in the stands at a sporting event and a long-haired teenage boy with delicate features was sitting below us. There weren't hardly any other people around at the moment and my daughter loudly asked me "Mommy, is that a boy or a girl?!" The kid turned around and kind of chuckled in an embarrased way and I apologized. He shrugged and said "it happens." Then I explained to my daughter how sometimes boys have short hair and sometimes they have long hair, and that's okay. (God knows I use to really dig the boys with long hair ) I'm glad the kid was so cool about it.

  13. #263
    Unfrozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
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    Maister - the funnily ironic part of your story was that Junior was trying to impose manners on someone else that he had presumably learned from you and your wife.

    He knows his manners and just others to exhibit the same social graces. Seems like the old guy may need a refresher course himself.

    My boys are are 20 and 5 months right now, so I'm certainly hesitant about the next couple years with these two.

    Though, I got a nice sample when my brother, SIL and nephew visited this past weekend. The nephew is 3 and half and all kinds of "joy".

    It's amazing how fast they can have meltdowns.
    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    The ends can justify the means.

  14. #264
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Maister, the only cure is time. However, remember and treasure these moments because Junior will be embarrassed at everything you do or say in a few years. You can add to your enjoyment then by bringing these memories out when he brings his friends or dates home.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  15. #265
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    Maister write it down before you forget. Whether you or Ms., of the little one says/does it, these are nice funny stories later in life.

    Wee P turns 6 today and Ms. P said to me last night "Do you realize that 1/3 of her life living with us is gone now because she'll go off to college at 18?" I wrote that one down on a running word document I've sort of been keeping.
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  16. #266
    Cyburbian wahday's avatar
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    Oh man, Maister, I'm wiping the tears from my eyes. Farting man...

    That is embarrassing, I won't deny that, but there probably isn't much you can do about it. The only advice I can offer is to have a discussion with Junior about it at a different time (when you are not embarrassed or correcting him) and explain how saying those kinds of things can hurt people's feelings. It may not stop the behavior, but if it does happen again you have a previous conversation to refer to (remember when we talked about how that can hurt people's feelings?).

    It may not curb the behavior the first time, but eventually they will get it. In fact, you will probably end up being on the other end of the conversation in not too long with Junior correcting YOU for saying something that could hurt someone's feelings. At least that is how it tends to go with us.

    We have definitely had our share of "fat people" observations and the like. Most of the time, its as you said - just an observation. But people can take offense and the "people come in all shapes and sizes" comment is one I have used myself.

    As for the grumpy farting man. Well, not much to do about that. People who admonish parents of three year olds probably have not had one, or forgot what it was like. You are teaching him manners, I would assume, but I expect this is the first time this issue has come up. And - he's three! Is a child supposed to come pre-mannered? This is how they learn. And, yes, its messy and uncomfortable and awkward at times. But most people understand.

    My most recent embarrassing child story was actually with our 8 year old who vomited all over a fellow traveler's carry on bag just as we were boarding a plane It could have been so much worse, but the guy was super cool about it and the people behind us happened to have copious amounts of baby wipes on hand (and they were too old to have their own kids - I assumed they were just always prepared). It probably helped that I was traveling alone with an 8 and 3 year old. People had pity...
    The purpose of life is a life of purpose

  17. #267
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    Funny. My father and his nephew went out to an Olde Country Buffet and made comments about one of the regulars. I kept shushing them. "Do you think he doesn't know he's fat?" And they were 80+ and 40+ !!

    Maister, tincture of time works. Meanwhile, maybe develop a family signal that means "hush right now talk later." Perhaps the geriatric subject has a medical issue (oooh, back to the doctor thing).

    HTH

  18. #268
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Time usually cures this kind of thing and the suggestions have been spot on. Kids notice differences and like to point out the obvious even if it isn't polite to do in our universe, but it isn't judgmental in theirs.

    I told R.T. when she was about 3 and commented on someone being fat, "People come in all shapes, sizes, and colors and are special in their own way. It's not nice to point out those differences because it might hurt their feelings."

    To the grumpy ol' man I would have just said "I'm sorry."
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  19. #269
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    maister, when the man said that the boy needs to be taught manners, you could point out that he said "excuse me" before he interrupted what you were doing. Or point out that it could be considered rude to fart in public without excusing oneself.

  20. #270
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    . . . But last night, however, he took it to a new level. We're in line and Junior says "Excuse me" really loud, then a few seconds later says "Excuse me" again even more emphatically. Finally Junior points to the older guy in front of us and says "Daddy that man farting alot and not say excuse me." I shush him but that only gets Junior pouty and sullen and he proceeds to engage in dialogue with himself....."Daddy not fair....man farting....not say excuse me.....wonder why he farting so much...not saying excuse me.....farting man....".
    Maister

    As one father to another, I hate to say this, but you are remiss in your duties as a father. Each generation of fathers must pass on simple truths to their sons. Be respectful of women. Work hard. Change your oil every 3,000 miles. And farts are funny!

    Your son's response to the flatulent old geezer should have been: "Whoa, dude. Good one. My eyes are watering!"
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  21. #271
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by otterpop View post
    Maister

    As one father to another, I hate to say this, but you are remiss in your duties as a father. Each generation of fathers must pass on simple truths to their sons. Be respectful of women. Work hard. Change your oil every 3,000 miles. And farts are funny!

    Your son's response to the flatulent old geezer should have been: "Whoa, dude. Good one. My eyes are watering!"
    That's what I was really afraid of.
    I should have feigned discomfort at that moment and implored Junior to help daddy out by 'pulling on his finger'.

    Thank you for the brutal honesty.

  22. #272
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    At that point the old dude turns around and says "I think you need to teach that boy some manners." I didn't know what to say at that moment. What would you have said/done (several witty/impolite things occurred to me then but I failed at that critical moment) and more importantly how would you prevent future occurrences of this sort?
    I agree with otterpop and the guy behind you... farts are funny!

    What would I have said? "His face is right at the level of your flatulence area, pal... be glad he didn't jam tic-tacs up your ass!" Or perhaps... "Really? What do you think Miss Manners would say about passing gas in public?"

    Man, be glad your kid doesn't hang out with mine. Since I loathe shopping, I'll make a scene just to have some fun. Be glad he doesn't know the finer points of "Bowling", "Clumsy Shopper", "The Check-Out Surprise", "Chatty Coat Rack", or the "Mall Stall". Funny stuff, man... funny stuff. Oh, my wife hates taking me shopping, which was the whole point!

    Oh, and "Pump it Up!", which was our latest caper!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
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  23. #273
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    Teenage Drivers...
    Procrastinating daughter dinks around not getting ready to head to her Sisters for the Grandsons 1st birthday party so she has to drive herself 35 miles. She leaves before us. When we fnally get on the road home we get a call. The truck has died on the interstate. She is crying and dad is mad because she can't tell him where she is. So my truck is now sitting on the interstate. I sure will sleep good tonight knowing that.
    The wind is blowing insanely tonight so I am worried someone will get blown over into it...I just have to keep telling my self that it is only money...
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  24. #274
    Cyburbian
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    I don't think that my nephew is fed anything that is cooked from scratch or from a few ingredients. It must all be prepared, processed food. He showed up here this morning with some toaster pastry with egg in it.

    The last time he was here, I cooked frozen cheese steak patties. He assumed that I slaughtered a steer, and butchered the meat myself in order to make cheese steak. So he concocted a story that he ate extra breakfast without telling his mother and he was too full to eat lunch here. He told my sister that I made home-made cheese steak and he didn't want to eat it.

  25. #275
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kms View post
    I don't think that my nephew is fed anything that is cooked from scratch or from a few ingredients. It must all be prepared, processed food. He showed up here this morning with some toaster pastry with egg in it.

    The last time he was here, I cooked frozen cheese steak patties. He assumed that I slaughtered a steer, and butchered the meat myself in order to make cheese steak. So he concocted a story that he ate extra breakfast without telling his mother and he was too full to eat lunch here. He told my sister that I made home-made cheese steak and he didn't want to eat it.
    Ick, but I know where you are coming from. I took care of my guy friend's little girl for a while and it was clear that the mom was feeding her pretty much processed and prepackaged stuff all the time (turns out she had no cooking skills). After much shoving food away because it wasn't cut into cute shapes and what not she began to eat home cooked food and gained a few desperately needed pounds.

    While doing CapAsia there were a few people that had to get used to eating non-processed food. There was one girl that had never eaten fish that wasn't in fishstick form. While in Indonesia she ordered fish thinking that would be a safe bet. When it was served it was a beautiful whole fish spiced rubbed and fried whole. She wouldn't eat it because it had the head, tail and fins still attached. Concerned that she wouldn't eat I removed all the flesh from the bones, skin, and piled it on a plate which she then ate.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

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