Urban planning community

+ Reply to thread
Page 14 of 67 FirstFirst ... 4 13 14 15 24 ... LastLast
Results 326 to 350 of 1673

Thread: The NEVERENDING Raising Children Thread

  1. #326
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 2005
    Location
    In a 480 square foot ex baseball nacho stand
    Posts
    6,999
    This weekend we went to a friends house for dinner. The wife had been to Target and bought two pairs of fuzzy bunny ears...one for their daugther and one for mine. The girls loved them, put them on and had fun running around. My buddy and I saw them and just shook our heads. Mrs. P asked what was wrong to which I replied that I hope this wasn't a preview to their career. She didn't get it until my buddy said one word...pl@yboy.
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  2. #327
    Cyburbian Raf's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 2007
    Location
    America's Happiest City
    Posts
    4,885
    Quote Originally posted by Planit View post
    This weekend we went to a friends house for dinner. The wife had been to Target and bought two pairs of fuzzy bunny ears...one for their daugther and one for mine. The girls loved them, put them on and had fun running around. My buddy and I saw them and just shook our heads. Mrs. P asked what was wrong to which I replied that I hope this wasn't a preview to their career. She didn't get it until my buddy said one word...pl@yboy.
    That isn't as bad as seeing my daughter shake her "booty" to some songs from the radio as my wife egged her on. I simply shook my head, and told her "thanks for the teenage years/college drunk party previews."
    Men do dumb $hit... it is what they do to correct the problem that counts.

  3. #328
    Cyburbian Plus dandy_warhol's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2005
    Location
    meh.
    Posts
    8,339
    yesterday i was talking to a team mate who has a 4 month old little girl. apparently she thinks her daughter is eating too much so has decided to cut back. meanwhile the poor little thing is in the 50% percentile for weight and hasn't grown in length since her previous appointment. ummm, perhaps because she isn't getting enough to eat???!??!?!?!?!

    i've never understood that. babies are supposed to eat. a lot. they need it to grow. because they are a baby.
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  4. #329
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
    Registered
    Sep 1999
    Location
    400 miles from Orlando
    Posts
    13,747
    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    yesterday i was talking to a team mate who has a 4 month old little girl. apparently she thinks her daughter is eating too much so has decided to cut back. meanwhile the poor little thing is in the 50% percentile for weight and hasn't grown in length since her previous appointment. ummm, perhaps because she isn't getting enough to eat???!??!?!?!?!

    i've never understood that. babies are supposed to eat. a lot. they need it to grow. because they are a baby.
    Children under 2 or 3 should not have any restrictions on diet; like withholding regular milk and giving babies skim, if they're not nursing. Unless her baby is obese and she has been directed by a pediatrician to cut back on feedings, you are seeing a case of child neglect/abuse based on Mom's desire to have a skinny child. Some fats are crucial for brain development at that age. Sorry, but are you up to reporting child abuse/neglect to the appropriate agency?

  5. #330
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Jukin' City
    Posts
    16,460
    I'm not raising him anymore, but my eldest son called this afternoon...he's now working at his second restaurant in Berkeley's gourmet ghetto---just down the street from Alice Waters' "Chez Panisse." Another upscale rustic Italian bistro with great reviews in the SF Chronicle. If you folks in the Bay Area want to drop a name ("RJ" won't work out there), and get a good table, send me a PM. I think I can arrange a little something.

  6. #331
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
    Registered
    Sep 1999
    Location
    400 miles from Orlando
    Posts
    13,747
    Quote Originally posted by RichmondJake View post
    I'm not raising him anymore, but my eldest son called this afternoon...he's now working at his second restaurant in Berkeley's gourmet ghetto---just down the street from Alice Waters' "Chez Panisse." Another upscale rustic Italian bistro with great reviews in the SF Chronicle. If you folks in the Bay Area want to drop a name ("RJ" won't work out there), and get a good table, send me a PM. I think I can arrange a little something.
    RJ's sons are fine kids; and have been very sweet to my son and me, considering...

    But the menus at those CA restaurants are freaking odd. Weird organ meats, veggies/terms nobody from FL can decipher. Don't get me wrong; the restaurant where his oldest worked before, we had a really nice dinner; only for 2 epicurean-limited people from FL, it was lucky there were a couple things on the menu we could read. Like "hamburger" and "french onion soup". Then the menu at his new place. I'm totally perplexed.

  7. #332
    Cyburbian Raf's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 2007
    Location
    America's Happiest City
    Posts
    4,885
    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    yesterday i was talking to a team mate who has a 4 month old little girl. apparently she thinks her daughter is eating too much so has decided to cut back. meanwhile the poor little thing is in the 50% percentile for weight and hasn't grown in length since her previous appointment. ummm, perhaps because she isn't getting enough to eat???!??!?!?!?!

    i've never understood that. babies are supposed to eat. a lot. they need it to grow. because they are a baby.
    Wow, i have never heard of such a thing. Although we have been accused by my parents, my wife's folks and one time a nurse for "not adequately" feeding our daughter. She was never a big baby to begin with and has and is a "petite" child. She always fell well below her percentile in terms of weight, (because of this i deem the whole percentile business a bunch of woo hash) but it has always been proportionate to her height, and when she is hungry she can pack it down. Even today, my daughter is about 30 lbs and just about or over 3 feet and when to me she eats 3 balanced meals everyday, with 2 snacks in between, with no junk in the middle. A few months back my daughter had a sprained ankle from a fall she took (she's a climber) and i took her to the emergency room because i thought she broke it. The nurse at the urgent care clinic basically asked if we "fed" our child because she didn't look like the "normal" weight. My wife, a soon to be dietitian laid a new one on her explaining to her that just because she isn't a typical "chubby" baby doesn't mean she is not healthy and explained to her how diet and body type work. Needless to say we were both quite offended at this comment.

    Now back to Dandy's situation. This is just horrible to withhold food because shes thinks the baby is "too fat". As ZG said babies should not have restriction on diet (however my wife will disagree with the whole milk thing, to which i go along, but our daughter is now a 1% milk gal as we have slowly transitioned her from whole milk to 1%) and need as much fatty protein as possible for development. I hate to be a brown noser, but have you tried talking to her? This can really stunt the growth of the child both physically and mentally. If nothing changes, maybe a call to CPS might need to be involved.
    Men do dumb $hit... it is what they do to correct the problem that counts.

  8. #333
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
    Registered
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Wishing I were in Asia somewhere!
    Posts
    9,657
    Blog entries
    5
    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    yesterday i was talking to a team mate who has a 4 month old little girl. apparently she thinks her daughter is eating too much so has decided to cut back. meanwhile the poor little thing is in the 50% percentile for weight and hasn't grown in length since her previous appointment. ummm, perhaps because she isn't getting enough to eat???!??!?!?!?!

    i've never understood that. babies are supposed to eat. a lot. they need it to grow. because they are a baby.
    Some people really should just not have children. That said as ZG and CPSURaf pointed out, food intake restriction for an infant is not at all appropriate and constitutes child neglect in my book. Babies and toddlers need all the nutrients they can get in order to properly grown and develop both physically and mentally. I would gently talk to her about the issue even if you think she would be offended. It sounds like there are some bigger issues at play in that mom isn't getting the proper support she needs to take care of the baby. Having an infant is hard work-many of us have been there. I know I would have been dead in the water had it not been for my mom's assurances and sound advice.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  9. #334
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
    Registered
    Sep 1999
    Location
    400 miles from Orlando
    Posts
    13,747
    Dandy, you gotta make a call here. You know this kid might be endangered or otherwise, you wouldn't have posted, right?

  10. #335
    Cyburbian
    Registered
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Western Pennsylvania
    Posts
    3,086
    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    yesterday i was talking to a team mate who has a 4 month old little girl. apparently she thinks her daughter is eating too much so has decided to cut back. meanwhile the poor little thing is in the 50% percentile for weight and hasn't grown in length since her previous appointment. ummm, perhaps because she isn't getting enough to eat???!??!?!?!?!

    i've never understood that. babies are supposed to eat. a lot. they need it to grow. because they are a baby.
    If you won't call CYF, call the child's doctor or daycare provider. They both are required to report SUSPECTED child abuse. If you work or volunteer with children, you may also be required to report abuse.

    If this woman will confide her diet strategy to you, she'll certainly tell you the names of the doctor or daycare.

    Like others said, a good diet that includes good fat is necessary for growth and development.

    I'm curious, is this mother thin, and concerned about her diet? It could be a bad pattern and she may pass it on to her child as she grows. Many parents comment on choldren's weight and pressure them to be a certain size.

  11. #336
    Cyburbian Plus dandy_warhol's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2005
    Location
    meh.
    Posts
    8,339
    thank you all for your concern. it is nice to know that children have so many advocates out there. team mates are a funny thing, i see this woman week after week, know she has a 4 month old baby, but don't know her last name, pediatrician or day care provider.

    at this point i don't think it warrants a phone call. this conversation was a casual discussion before a game which leads me to believe it might've been more of an off-handed comment. having no kids of my own i don't think i'm qualified to comment on the feeding habits of a 4 month old. there is another woman on our team who has three young kids. i'll talk to her this week to get her opinion/view on the situation.

    i think my bigger concern with the situation is that the mom isn't being truthful with the doctor. she said she's been supplementing with rice since two months b/c she didn't want to give the baby a 6oz bottle. now at four months the doc. said she could start feeding the baby baby food and the woman didn't tell her that she's been feeding baby food since two months.
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  12. #337
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
    Registered
    Jul 2003
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    7,061
    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    at this point i don't think it warrants a phone call.
    I can see it both ways. On the one hand, I was often accused of being a neurotic overprotective mom. Then my son was diagnosed with a serious medical condition. On the other hand, I delayed calling social services when I was in my twenties and wanted to wait to be sure it was really a neglectful/abusive situation. They moved before I felt confident about making the call. As they were moving out, it became clear to me that her husband made much better money than I had thought and, therefore, this was not likely a case of just not having the resources to do better by the child. I spent some time kicking myself over that.

  13. #338
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
    Registered
    Sep 1999
    Location
    400 miles from Orlando
    Posts
    13,747
    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    i think my bigger concern with the situation is that the mom isn't being truthful with the doctor. she said she's been supplementing with rice since two months b/c she didn't want to give the baby a 6oz bottle. now at four months the doc. said she could start feeding the baby baby food and the woman didn't tell her that she's been feeding baby food since two months.

    I guess this mom hasn't ever read a baby book. Normally you don't start the kid on solids until at least 6 months, or until they appear interested (with my kid, it was almost a year). Some docs recommend a year if you're breast feeding. It can wreak havoc with their digestive system. You don't give a kid the wrong food because you can't be bothered to give them a bottle.

    You can report people anonymously, you know. OK, that's all from me on this.

  14. #339
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
    Registered
    May 2005
    Location
    Metro Detroit
    Posts
    6,419
    I'm amazed that children thrive and prosper with as many stoooopid parents as there are in this world.
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

  15. #340
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
    Registered
    Sep 1999
    Location
    400 miles from Orlando
    Posts
    13,747
    There's always a surprise! Today I was talking with the kid about going to central FL when school's out. Discovered his old buddy Brandon is now smoking dope and hanging with a bad crowd, and when we were there in January, and he was alternating between Will's and "Brandon's" house, it was another Brandon I don't know. "So if there had been an emergency and I needed to pick you up, nobody would have had a clue where you were?" "Uh, I guess."

    If I have a brain cell left by the time he turns 18, it'll be a miracle.

  16. #341
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2005
    Location
    in a meeting
    Posts
    8,429

    I was the crew of 82 so it works and doesn't work all at once...

    not sure where to put this:

    last night was the open house for parents only of kids entering kindergarten - us veteran parents saw it as a wonderful excuse to go out afterward and headed to the local Publick House for some Cosmo's or beer -

    we have deemed our new-found club "the crew of '22 booster club"!

    I think the first-time parents were mortified when they overheard us talking about where we were going out

  17. #342
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
    Registered
    Sep 1999
    Location
    400 miles from Orlando
    Posts
    13,747
    Last night, talked the kid into going to an open house at a charter school that opened here last year. Computer-based learning (which he's done well at the alternative h.s. he's in this year), internships, 225 total kids in 3 grades. He really liked it because of the small size and the chance to work ahead if he's bored. I took in the paperwork today and signed him up. Keeping my fingers crossed; it's a last chance for him to make good decisions and succeed in high school. This will be his sixth school in 6 years. Sheesh.

  18. #343
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
    Registered
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Wishing I were in Asia somewhere!
    Posts
    9,657
    Blog entries
    5
    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess View post
    Last night, talked the kid into going to an open house at a charter school that opened here last year. Computer-based learning (which he's done well at the alternative h.s. he's in this year), internships, 225 total kids in 3 grades. He really liked it because of the small size and the chance to work ahead if he's bored. I took in the paperwork today and signed him up. Keeping my fingers crossed; it's a last chance for him to make good decisions and succeed in high school. This will be his sixth school in 6 years. Sheesh.
    Sounds promising ZG. I think the key is getting him engaged into his learning environment and something that works for him.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  19. #344
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 2003
    Location
    "Somewhere in the middle"
    Posts
    3,160
    It has been a hard teenager week here this week. The eldest at home has just been on a hateful teenage girl rampage. Yet another unexplainable car breakdown last weekend. This is the third. The surpentine belt just "fell" off the car. It is less than 6 months old. She screams at us that she did not do anything. We try to figure out how that could possibly happen. Everyone says it is pretty much impossible.
    After a few days of this I decided that the real issue is that she never says shes sorry. It continue to explain to her how much all of this is costing us. Let's just say that we had said we would match any down payment she saved. That deal is off. Car repairs to date $3000.
    She thinks sorry is an admission of wrong doing. I think a person can be sorry that they have cause another grief. I can be sorry my husband has a bad day even if I wasn't the cause.There was a screaming creshendos where I explained that she has been a hateful inconsiderate B. Finally she cried and was sorry.

    It is so hard to get through that wall with her. I am always amazed that her father doesn't stop me somewhere during that process. It resembles an Alpha Dog situation. But all is calm and we can all enjoy Prom this weekend. Teenagers gotta love them....
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  20. #345
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
    Registered
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Wishing I were in Asia somewhere!
    Posts
    9,657
    Blog entries
    5
    Quote Originally posted by Queen B View post
    It has been a hard teenager week here this week. The eldest at home has just been on a hateful teenage girl rampage. Yet another unexplainable car breakdown last weekend. This is the third. The surpentine belt just "fell" off the car. It is less than 6 months old. She screams at us that she did not do anything. We try to figure out how that could possibly happen. Everyone says it is pretty much impossible.
    After a few days of this I decided that the real issue is that she never says shes sorry. It continue to explain to her how much all of this is costing us. Let's just say that we had said we would match any down payment she saved. That deal is off. Car repairs to date $3000.
    She thinks sorry is an admission of wrong doing. I think a person can be sorry that they have cause another grief. I can be sorry my husband has a bad day even if I wasn't the cause.There was a screaming creshendos where I explained that she has been a hateful inconsiderate B. Finally she cried and was sorry.

    It is so hard to get through that wall with her. I am always amazed that her father doesn't stop me somewhere during that process. It resembles an Alpha Dog situation. But all is calm and we can all enjoy Prom this weekend. Teenagers gotta love them....
    Wow. I feel for you Queen B. Any possibility for her to enjoy a car free lifestyle for a while? Maybe tell her that she gets to contribute to the maintenance and repair of the vehicle while she's the main driver of it?
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  21. #346
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
    Registered
    May 2004
    Location
    Grand Rapids, Michigan (Detroit ex-pat since 2004)
    Posts
    4,754

    Car-free lifestyle

    ------- __o
    ---- _`\,_
    --- (*)/ (*)

    Sounds good to moi!

  22. #347
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
    Registered
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    9,010
    Blog entries
    2

    Regarding Daycare..

    So we're still plugging along, still on course for our November due date. I am getting more parentally minded everyday as the time goes by and certainly none more than today when an associate of mine who refs in my Men's hockey league called up to get our listing of Town registered day cares as he and his wife are thinking twice about their current one.
    I will preface that all daycares registered with the Town must also be registered with the state. Colorado, seemingly, has some good standards for home day care providers to adhere to and I wouldn't think of dropping my kid at an unregistered day care.
    Anyways, this guy did and is not happy with how it is run, the condition of the home, and the provider herself (who used to registered).

    Anyways, I freaked out a bit and I am half tempted on trying to figure out how to have one of us (my wife or I) stay home.

    How did you parents figure this one out?
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  23. #348
    Cyburbian
    Registered
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Western Pennsylvania
    Posts
    3,086
    My mom watched my first two children. When the third came along, I would not ask her to watch all three, so I quit my job. We struggled financially, but I have no regrets. My kids loved having me around, and loved that I could be involved in their daytime hours. It was well worth the sacrifices we made.

    A friend and his wife worked different shifts so that one of them could be with their daughter.

  24. #349
    Cyburbian
    Registered
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Suburban Chicago
    Posts
    451
    When we saw the ultrasound that showed we were having twins, we both knew that daycare would be beyond our ability to pay and that one of us would have to stay home. I made more money, so I went to work and my husband stayed home. He's been a stay-at-home dad now for 5 years and it has been a great expereince for us.

    It's been financially tough, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel -- until I get the desire to have #4 - which I desperately need to be talked out of.

    I have a lot of friends who use day-care. I think it can be an excellent choice. The friends that are the happiest spent MONTHS researching centers and talking to other parents. I know of some excellent centers that do a great job even with tiny babies. I know of other centers and in-home types where I wouldn't place my dog. You've got to feel that the place you've chosen is 100% the best place for baby..if there are any red flags, don't do it.

  25. #350
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
    Registered
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    9,010
    Blog entries
    2
    **This'll be interesting as I suspect that twins are coming (I'll know June 12). But for some reason twins keep running through my head and my wife keeps having dreams about twins.

    We'll have some thinking to do.

    Originally, we thought our neighbor would watch the kid(s), but now she is looking to work a bit more as her kids get older and in school. So we'll figure it out. After today's conversation, I know where I will NOT be sending my kid(s)
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

+ Reply to thread
Page 14 of 67 FirstFirst ... 4 13 14 15 24 ... LastLast

More at Cyburbia

  1. The NEVERENDING Pet Thread
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 503
    Last post: 28 Aug 2014, 12:03 PM
  2. The NEVERENDING Joy Thread
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 17
    Last post: 01 May 2013, 9:39 AM
  3. The NEVERENDING When You Die Thread
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 21
    Last post: 24 Oct 2012, 1:33 PM
  4. The NEVERENDING Car Thread.
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 3
    Last post: 07 Jun 2009, 11:04 PM
  5. The NEVERENDING TV thread
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 6
    Last post: 30 Mar 2008, 7:30 PM