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Thread: The NEVERENDING Raising Children Thread

  1. #376
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    M'skis you just made this post in another thread:

    We eat unhealthy foods, drink alcohol, put fertilizer on our lawns, raise life stock only to kill and eat them, have kids but put them into day care 50 hours a week, oppose religion, spend more than we make, and do just about everything that feels good for the moment, but causes physical, emotional, or fiscal damage.

    And you are asking about day care why?? Isn't that against your religion or something?

  2. #377
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    Fat Kids

    Sorry, no other way that I can tacfully put this (nor do I wish to expend the energy using my precious tact this afternoon) but what is with all the fat kids out there? How do they get so fat?

    Seriously.

    As a kid, I seemed to have limitless energy and would use it up outside, inside, mentally, whereever. It seems to me that kids have no problem with running around, bouncing off the walls, etc. However, nowadays you hear so many reports of the obesity epidemic reaching young children and toddlers. Today at lunch I spotted a very hefty child lurking around and I had to wonder: how do children get this way?
    -Is it the continuance of a sedentary lifestyle passed down from the parents?
    -Is it lax monitoring of dietary intake?
    -Using the TeeVee as a babysitter?

    As someone with a kid on the way, I am asking this of current parents as to what they have seen.
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  3. #378
    Cyburbian Raf's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by zmanPLAN View post
    Today at lunch I spotted a very hefty child lurking around and I had to wonder: how do children get this way?
    -Is it the continuance of a sedentary lifestyle passed down from the parents?
    -Is it lax monitoring of dietary intake?
    -Using the TeeVee as a babysitter?

    As someone with a kid on the way, I am asking this of current parents as to what they have seen.
    90% of the time, it's the parents fault. Poor eating habits themselves transfixed onto the children. Fast food all the time, having the boobtube as a sitter, etc. The other 10 percent or smaller is some sort of genetic thing going on. But seriously, your children early on are a reflect of who you are as an eater. For us, we don't allow junk food in the house. No chips, cookies, ice cream, soda, etc. Snacks for her are veggies, yogurt, cheese, etc. We make it a habitat of sitting down with her to eat dinner. Fast food, yea we have it, but only once a month to maybe a few times a month. We cook a lot for her and she eats what we eat, but in smaller portions. We never force our daughter to eat when she doesn't want to. If she leaves all her dinner on the plate, tough luck, wait till breakfast. Again, the ticket is eating healthy as a couple and just reflecting those values back to your child. Oh and it does help that my daughter loves running around, so channeling that energy helps too.
    follow me on the twitter @rcplans

  4. #379
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by zmanPLAN View post
    Sorry, no other way that I can tacfully put this (nor do I wish to expend the energy using my precious tact this afternoon) but what is with all the fat kids out there? How do they get so fat?
    Combination of things some already mentioned, here's a few more:

    Kids don't play like we used to. They aren't running around the neighborhood chasing a ball, riding bikes, playing games. I blame this largely on paranoid parents. The elimination of daily P.E. programs from schools also aren't helping.

    Cable, videos, game consoles all cause a lot of time spent in front of the tube.

    Family eating habits. Many families don't eat together and when the do they eat take out or eat out. Sometimes I think cooking is a lost skill. I have many of the same rules as CPSURaf.

    School lunches. Don't let your kids ever eat school lunch. They have very crappy standards and it's overkill on carbs and fat and much of it is canned or frozen. My daughter takes her lunch every day. The school lunch program is in desperate need of an overhaul.

    I would like to add that while I am quite plump (some health issues contribute, some of it is predisposed, and some of it I think is rooted in childhood nutrition) my daughter is a very healthy 140lb at 5'8" tall, eats very healthy, and is quite active.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  5. #380
    Cyburbian PlanICan's avatar
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    Expecting my first in January, and find out what it is next Wednesday. Already trying to prepare mentally, and there are definitely two things I am going to instill in my kids: First, I am NOT going to have a kid who chooses to plop down in front of the TV instead of playing outside on a nice day. My punishment as a kid used to be that I couldn't go outside, and now I see many kids having to be forced to go outside to play. It's sad. Secondly, my kids are going to eat dinner with us every night at dinner time at the dinner table, not in front of the TV whenever they feel like it. Of course this sounds good in my head for now...we'll just have to see if I can stick to my guns.

  6. #381
    Cyburbian wahday's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by PlanICan View post
    Expecting my first in January, and find out what it is next Wednesday. Already trying to prepare mentally, and there are definitely two things I am going to instill in my kids: First, I am NOT going to have a kid who chooses to plop down in front of the TV instead of playing outside on a nice day. My punishment as a kid used to be that I couldn't go outside, and now I see many kids having to be forced to go outside to play. It's sad. Secondly, my kids are going to eat dinner with us every night at dinner time at the dinner table, not in front of the TV whenever they feel like it. Of course this sounds good in my head for now...we'll just have to see if I can stick to my guns.
    Anytime I hear someone say "I'm never gonna let my kid..." I get a little tense because I now know how it can all go south so quickly when the little demons, I mean angels, actually arrive.

    But these are totally achievable and, I think, important goals! Maybe its because we do them too. In fact, we are one of the .0002 percent that never made the change to digital tv, so its not even an option for us (they still watch movies and such, but we have control over exactly what they see and no one can do so without permission).

    But nothing is more important to the functioning of our household than dinner together. Its a mainstay of the home and really does serve to connect us all each day in a very important way. I think it will become even more so as they get older. At 8, our oldest is already perfecting his sullen teenager routine, so dinner time at the table helps us all stay emotionally invested in one another and solidifies the "team."

    Best of luck with the pregnancy. When you find out "what it is," I hope they say human...
    The purpose of life is a life of purpose

  7. #382
    Quote Originally posted by wahday View post
    Best of luck with the pregnancy. When you find out "what it is," I hope they say human...
    Knowing him, there's very good reason to worry.

  8. #383
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    Congrats PlanICan! Your life is now over as you knew it. There's two pieces of advise I will give you today:
    1. Go on vacation now before "it" (hopefully human) is born.
    2. Read the previous 15 pages of this forum - there is some good stuff - some you can use now, some you will use later.
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  9. #384
    Cyburbian PlanICan's avatar
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    Thank you wahday and Planit, and screw you Gedunker j/k...we are actually going on a week long vacation next week to Orlando which we will no doubt cherish, knowing it will be our last before the kiddo arrives!

  10. #385
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    So we were happy that we finally have gotten Junior to do #2 all on his own recently and he's now in big boy underwear all the time (he just turned four two months ago). However, he doesn't usually make it through the entire night without wetting his bed unless we wake him up at midnight and make him go. Trouble is, he's a real deep sleeper and these midnight potty sessions are pretty traumatic. He'll scream, cry, fight, keep falling back asleep, repeatedly head back to bed before getting the job done unless we keep right on him and physically restrain him and keep placing him back in front of/on the toilet (the negative associations with coercing him to do it seems to run counter to everything that we've read about modern potty training). I'm not sure who experiences more trauma: him or his parents. Sometimes we can get him to go and sometimes we can't. If we can't get him to go it seems he'll wet his bed about 80% of the time. It's very frustrating. We are almost at the point where we are considering putting him in night time diapers again, but are concerned that if we do so we are going to encourage regression in his potty training. So here are the choices:
    1. Let him and his parents sleep in blissful slumber and just do lots of laundy
    2. Keep on trying to wake him up even though it feels like we're scarring the kid for life.
    3. Put him back in night time diapers.

    This is a common problem so we can't be the only ones going through this. What would you do?

  11. #386
    Cyburbian
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    This is a common problem so we can't be the only ones going through this. What would you do?
    Go with #3. My adivce is NOT to wake him up in the middle of the night to pee and just put him in a Pull-up and let things happen. Get a waterproof mattress cover.

    This isn't something you should scold him for or even talk about in a negative way. Most of the time, he just can't help it. It's a bladder maturity thing. He'll grow out of it eventually. IMHO night-time bedwetting is not a "potty training" issue - if he's asleep, he can't be trained to hold his urine inside his body.

    My five year old daughter is a bed wetter. She potty trained at 3 and has never stayed dry at night (but never an accident during the day). Five year old's twin brother potty trained at 4 1/2 and never wets the bed. Don't ask me how this works. #3 kid is two, not potty trained, but stays dry over night.

    I was a bed wetter, too. My parents just let it happen and around 7 years old it stopped on it's own. It might not go that long for you.

  12. #387
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by southsideamy View post
    This isn't something you should scold him for or even talk about in a negative way.
    We don't. The conflict/fights usually run along these lines:
    Mom/Dad: c'mon Junior. Wake up it's time to go potty.
    J: No.
    M/D: Yes, you need to get up now and pee or else you might have an accident.
    J: *snore*
    M/D: Junior GET UP. YOU NEED TO GET UP
    J: (starts crying) I don't want to go.
    M/D: Junior, you have to!
    J: *snore*
    (lift Junior out of bed and place in front of toilet)
    J: (starts crying)
    M/D: C'mon go.
    J: I can't go with you watching
    M/D: okay, we'll step outside the door
    (30 seconds of silence later and open door to find Junior sleeping on floor)
    M/D: Wake up. You need to go potty.
    ad nauseum.....

    We never criticize or scold him (unless the above qualifies as scolding) and don't say anything during the daytime about it apart from telling him at bedtime that we're going to wake him up to potty when we go to bed.

  13. #388
    I think I agree with everything southsideamy posted except that I wouldn't use pullups: I'd use diapers because the pullups are just too comfortable even when wet. Junior should wake up wet, which lets him know that he has to learn to control his bladder at night. Now that Junior is in big boy pants all day, going back to regular diapers at night may also be a chance to use a 'carrot' approach: wake up dry in the morning x number of times and m/d will let you sleep in much more comfortable big boy pants instead of diapers.
    On pitching to Stan Musial:
    "Once he timed your fastball, your infielders were in jeopardy."
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  14. #389
    Cyburbian wahday's avatar
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    I agree with SSA. If your kid is anything like my younger one, even if you wake them up in the middle of the night to go, they never remember it. Which begs the question of whether his body is learning to wake at night and go pee such that he could do it on his own. I'm not sure that's the case.

    When we were going through this with our daughter, she would wake up in the middle of the night moaning and crying and we would run and put her on the potty. She would go and immediately fall back asleep. Then she would wake up in the morning and say "I slept all night without having to go pee!" Cut to my wife and I, hair askew, drool crusted on our cheeks saying "yeah, that's great sweetie..."

    Eventually she grew out of that, though on occasion, she will still wake in despair because she needs to go.
    The purpose of life is a life of purpose

  15. #390
    Corn Burning Fool giff57's avatar
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    My son had this problem and the doc prescribed an antidepressant with the side effect of slowing urine production. The dose was way less than what would be prescribed for depression and it clears the system in 8 hours or so. It was wonderful! No more bed wetting which helped him feel much better about himself. He could spend the night at a friend's without worry. After a couple of years on it, we just stopped and he had grown out of the problem. I'm not one to willy nilly pass out pills, but this was great for all of us. I wish I could remember what drug it was, but Google probably can find out.


    Google scores! The drug is Imipramine.
    “As soon as public service ceases to be the chief business of the citizens, and they would rather serve with their money than with their persons, the State is not far from its fall”
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  16. #391
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    I'd just stick with a night time pull up for the time being. More than likely he will outgrow this as his body and brain catch up with each other.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  17. #392
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    I agree, go with #3 and things will work out. Also do not let him have any liquids past dinner time and makes sure he goes before going to bed.
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  18. #393
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    Quote Originally posted by Gedunker View post
    I think I agree with everything southsideamy posted except that I wouldn't use pullups: I'd use diapers because the pullups are just too comfortable even when wet. Junior should wake up wet, which lets him know that he has to learn to control his bladder at night. Now that Junior is in big boy pants all day, going back to regular diapers at night may also be a chance to use a 'carrot' approach: wake up dry in the morning x number of times and m/d will let you sleep in much more comfortable big boy pants instead of diapers.
    We tried that approach, but she still wouldn't wake up and ended up with terrible rashes from sleeping in pee soaked underwear or even cloth diapers all night. And doing the laundry every day was a hassel. Plus....do you really want to wake up in the middle of the night and change a kid's clothes, bedding, and blankets every night? It got really old for us. Better not to wake anybody up, let her pee in her large carbon footprint pull-up until she's dry overnight, she stays rash free, and she'll grow out of it with no emotional scars and I get a full night's sleep (actually, I don't becasue the two year old still wakes up at night!).

    I'm probably considered a slacker parent, but when it comes to sleep, I gotta try to maximize!!

  19. #394
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    A Vent (unsolicited advice)

    Anyone one, when they became parents, experience a rash of unsolicited advice from people.
    Ever since my son was born, I keep getting advice from our front office woman. Apparently there is only ONE laundry detergent I should be using.
    There is a cure for colic and she has it! (Even when I said that he isn't colicy right now)
    I am getting baby food preferences thrown at me too!

    Come on, my baby is 3 weeks old and still in the NICU (born 7 weeks early). I have enough on my mind without having to deal with "things I need to do" being hurled at me on a constant basis. (and he is certainly NOT eating baby food yet)

    When she finally asks me how things are going with the baby, my story (which I am tired of telling) gets interrupted with something that happened with her kids.


    Time to close the door to the office and work in private I suppose...
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  20. #395
    Cyburbian wahday's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by zmanPLAN View post
    Anyone one, when they became parents, experience a rash of unsolicited advice from people.
    Ever since my son was born, I keep getting advice from our front office woman. Apparently there is only ONE laundry detergent I should be using.
    There is a cure for colic and she has it! (Even when I said that he isn't colicy right now)
    I am getting baby food preferences thrown at me too!

    Come on, my baby is 3 weeks old and still in the NICU (born 7 weeks early). I have enough on my mind without having to deal with "things I need to do" being hurled at me on a constant basis. (and he is certainly NOT eating baby food yet)

    When she finally asks me how things are going with the baby, my story (which I am tired of telling) gets interrupted with something that happened with her kids.


    Time to close the door to the office and work in private I suppose...
    Maybe this should be in the What drives you crazy at work? - daily irritants thread...

    Isn't it charming when people use the guise of unsolicited advice and feigned concern to talk about themselves? Such an endearing quality.

    Glad to hear the kiddo is doing well, but sorry he is in NICU. It will all seem a blur once he comes home, though. Now, what you REALLY need to do is....

    Happy family wishes for all three of you!
    The purpose of life is a life of purpose

  21. #396
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Z...you just need to tune it out. If she's particularly insistent and can't catch a clue you just say "Thank you for sharing your opinion, but we are well informed on subject X and will make the best decision for our son."
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  22. #397
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    Well, I am pleased to announce that Z-Lad is finally home from the NICU after about 4 weeks.
    He is currently enjoying his meals and taking naps. The dogs seem to like him too, although they don't understand his noises.

    He doesn't really cry, rather when hungry he just moves about and chirps until someone gets up. His favorite thing is wiggling out of his swaddle currently (his previous favorite was removing the feeding tube from his nose while in the NICU).

    We're glad to have him home and sleep is hard to come by right now, but the MIL is here and hopefully my wife will get some naps today.

    On the docket tonight: ZLad & ZMan will catch the night's hockey games while the MIL and wife get out of the house for a bit.
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  23. #398
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by zmanPLAN View post
    Well, I am pleased to announce that Z-Lad is finally home from the NICU after about 4 weeks.

    On the docket tonight: ZLad & ZMan will catch the night's hockey games while the MIL and wife get out of the house for a bit.
    Congrats on the homecoming! Now life as you never knew it can begin. Good choice for the first dad/lad activity. As the Good Book says when paraphased by ofos: Raise him up in the ways of the rink and he'll be your beer buddy for life.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  24. #399
    Cyburbian Plus Salmissra's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by zmanPLAN View post
    Well, I am pleased to announce that Z-Lad is finally home from the NICU after about 4 weeks.
    He is currently enjoying his meals and taking naps. The dogs seem to like him too, although they don't understand his noises.
    He doesn't really cry, rather when hungry he just moves about and chirps until someone gets up. His favorite thing is wiggling out of his swaddle currently (his previous favorite was removing the feeding tube from his nose while in the NICU).
    We're glad to have him home and sleep is hard to come by right now, but the MIL is here and hopefully my wife will get some naps today.
    On the docket tonight: ZLad & ZMan will catch the night's hockey games while the MIL and wife get out of the house for a bit.
    YEAH, I'm so glad he's home! And I'm sure the dogs will soon figure his noises out - in fact, they may learn to accompany him with specific barks to get your attention (my cousin's dog would howl when the baby cried for food, but not any other time). Enjoy the game with the ZLad!
    "We do not need any other Tutankhamun's tomb with all its treasures. We need context. We need understanding. We need knowledge of historical events to tie them together. We don't know much. Of course we know a lot, but it is context that's missing, not treasures." - Werner Herzog, in Archaeology, March/April 2011

  25. #400
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    Very happy for the ZFam. Congrats buddy!
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

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