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Thread: The NEVERENDING Raising Children Thread

  1. #751
    Cyburbian TerraSapient's avatar
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    What a mess Queen B! I would have no idea what to do. When I was about your daughter's age, I had a friend who started dated a guy in his mid-30s. It creeped everyone out. She met him at the restaurant where she waited tables. From what I remember about how we all felt about Mr. Creepy Old Man, it might be a good idea to host a backyard party or something. Tell your daughter she can invite her friends over, have a cook out, campfire, whatever. Hopefully seeing how all her friends react to the older boyfriend will persuade her to reexamine her dating options. Of course, if she has friends who aren't 18 yet, this could be problematic. You wouldn't want one of her friends to meet a friend of the older boyfriend and tell her parents she met him at your house.
    Occupy Your Brain!

  2. #752
    maudit anglais
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    Well I tend to agree with the likely scenarios outlined above, as someone who at one time was 26 and dating an 18 year-old (we've been together 12 years now, and married for 9), it is quite possible that things aren't as they seem.

    It really depends on the maturity and personalities of the two people involved. From your initial reaction QueenB, I'm gathering this isn't likely one of those cases.

  3. #753
    Cyburbian stroskey's avatar
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    When you're in your late 20s and early 30s you don't feel "old" compared to 18 year olds but they definitely see you as old because they can't relate to your life experiences and obligations. When you hit 30 you realize you're still young and the age difference is not weird, but to younger people it will be.

    My father always told me "It will seem like you'll never get older but the people younger than you will."
    I burned down the church to atone for my transgressions.

  4. #754
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    Update:

    We sat her down last night. The questions we asked just raised more questions.
    Ultimately, I just said I dont feel comfortable with this and he needs to come over so we can meet him and no he doesn't get to say he isn't comfortable with that he needs to man up and come tomorrow night. No she is not allowed to go over and spend time at his apartment until I am comfortable.

    She came up this morning and told her father that they are either calling it quits or are going to slow way down. I still have some knots in my gut but she is generally a good respectful girl and will listen. I did not tell her no I just said he has to come meet me. She is much more afraid of me than her father.

    We will see where this goes. I hope it turns out well. His story just was not adding up..
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  5. #755
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Queen B View post
    Update:

    We sat her down last night. The questions we asked just raised more questions.
    Ultimately, I just said I dont feel comfortable with this and he needs to come over so we can meet him and no he doesn't get to say he isn't comfortable with that he needs to man up and come tomorrow night. No she is not allowed to go over and spend time at his apartment until I am comfortable.

    She came up this morning and told her father that they are either calling it quits or are going to slow way down. I still have some knots in my gut but she is generally a good respectful girl and will listen. I did not tell her no I just said he has to come meet me. She is much more afraid of me than her father.

    We will see where this goes. I hope it turns out well. His story just was not adding up..
    Good for you! You laid down decent parameters and she responded to them.

  6. #756
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    To you parents on here... How old were your kids when they had a full set of teeth? Our daughter is 14 months and has had just about an entire set of teeth for at least the last 4 - 6 weeks. I know from what I've read that it really varies greatly but all our family members like to comment on how many teeth she has. And even I laugh when I see her smile because it looks so odd compared to most of my nephews who seemed to take forever to have more than just a couple teeth.
    "Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost." - 1980 Republican presidential candidate Ronald Reagan

  7. #757
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    RT got her teeth early too. I think she had most of them by the time she was 15 months old.

  8. #758
    Cyburbian wahday's avatar
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    Our experience with teeth has been widely varied between the two kids. Our son got his rather late. Daughter got heres early. Regardless, the difference between a kid with teeth and one without is like night and day - it can totally change the way someone looks.
    The purpose of life is a life of purpose

  9. #759
    Cyburbian SW MI Planner's avatar
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    My daughter got her first tooth pretty late, but ended up getting her adult teeth a little earlier than kids her age. I think it all just depends on the kids.

  10. #760
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by wahday View post
    Regardless, the difference between a kid with teeth and one without is like night and day - it can totally change the way someone looks.
    I totally agree. I guess it just seems that her teeth look comically large for her mouth and head at this age.
    "Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost." - 1980 Republican presidential candidate Ronald Reagan

  11. #761
    My daughter's came in oddly: front chompers, followed by molars, and lastly (by a long shot, too) canines. Her early pictures are amusing if not terribly attractive. I'm not sure whether this pattern had anything to do with it, but orthodontia is in her future (and my wallet)!
    On pitching to Stan Musial:
    "Once he timed your fastball, your infielders were in jeopardy."
    Warren Spahn

  12. #762
    Cyburbian wahday's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by WSU MUP Student View post
    I totally agree. I guess it just seems that her teeth look comically large for her mouth and head at this age.
    Put some oversized glasses on that kid and head for Hollywood! - that's a recipe for Child Star if I ever heard one.
    The purpose of life is a life of purpose

  13. #763
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    Anyone have any thoughts or suggestions on strollers? Hubby and I are fairly active and want something durable but easy to use. We plan on "wearing" the baby a lot so I don't think we need an entire system.

    I don't know where to start.

  14. #764
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    Anyone have any thoughts or suggestions on strollers? Hubby and I are fairly active and want something durable but easy to use. We plan on "wearing" the baby a lot so I don't think we need an entire system.

    I don't know where to start.
    Baby Center and What to Expect have message boards with lots of info. Also the Consumer Reports baby gear guide is very useful. We are not active like you guys, but we are both very tall which drastically narrows the field of strollers that are comfortable for us. Try and test drive the stroller if you can by visiting a brick and mortar store then search Froogle for the best price online, prices vary considerably!

    In reality you need a lot less stuff than you think you will
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  15. #765
    Cyburbian wahday's avatar
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    I agree with kjel on both the height issue (I'm 6'1" and most strollers are too short for me to comfortably use) as well as that you will need less than you think.

    Between our two kids, we tried a few different configurations. Had a jogging stroller (great for walking to a neighbor's house with some food, beer or wine on board but too big and bulky to easily load in the car or take the bus), one of those that the infant car seat snaps into (was pretty cool, but only useful while they are infants - its essentially a frame with wheels) and the simple, easily worn out umbrella stroller (may favorite - its light, folds small, is great in airports or anywhere space and weight is an issue). The ones I really don't like or recommend are the collapsable ones - they fold down flat, but do not collapse side-to-side, so you end up with a flat, very unweildy, wide object that really isn't that easy to fit anywhere.

    The sky is the limit as far as prices on strollers, but in the end I found our $20 umbrella stroller was by far the most useful. In-step makes decent equipment (that's what our jogging stroller was - it lasted about 10 years) that is not super fancy, but generally perfectly adequate. You outgrow strollers pretty quickly, so I wouldn't break the bank on it.

    For wearing the baby, when you get beyond the sling stage, I highly recommend the Bjorn carrier - someone gave us one and it was a very well-used item. Those little tykes get heavy after not too long and that was the most ergonomically well-designed carrier we found and our kids loved it (they can be facing in or out, which is a nice variety depending on their mood)
    The purpose of life is a life of purpose

  16. #766
    Cyburbian Raf's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    Anyone have any thoughts or suggestions on strollers? Hubby and I are fairly active and want something durable but easy to use. We plan on "wearing" the baby a lot so I don't think we need an entire system.

    I don't know where to start.
    Aww.. you have come to the right spot here dandy. My wife happens to be a manager of an eco-friendly baby/children store here on our side of the coast. I highly recommend as a dude, father, and caretaker of wee ones the baby ergo to carry your child around. Best child carrier money can buy! It can go both in front and in the rear. As for an infant wrap, i highly recommend the moby wrap. A little complicated, but none the less very comfortable and stylish.

    As for strollers, there are so many. Big, plastic bluky things. We have been using this stroller since our son was born over 1.5 years ago. It comes with attachments so that it grows with your child. This thing rocks! It can go off-road, it is sleek in the downtown and best of all compact and fits easily in the trunk of our sedans. Not to mention a very manly stroller. It has a great slidding bar that adjusts to heights which is perfect for somewhat tall lady that my wife is. They bring out new models in fall so typically last year's model goes on sale. We got ours for around $350, so be on the look out for sales after the new year, but typically you find them for about 450 to 500.

    Another good one is the uppa baby vista. I know, this is high end too, but remember, these things tend to last anyone from 2 to 3 years and can be passed on if these is a dandy part II. You know where to message me on other parts of the web!
    follow me on the twitter @rcplans

  17. #767
    Cyburbian TerraSapient's avatar
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    Raf, I checked out your link to the eco-baby shop. I noticed they sell fuzzibunz cloth diapers. MW and I are trying to decide between that brand and gdiapers. Any particular reason your wife doesn't stock gdiapers?
    Occupy Your Brain!

  18. #768
    Cyburbian Raf's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by TerraSapient View post
    Raf, I checked out your link to the eco-baby shop. I noticed they sell fuzzibunz cloth diapers. MW and I are trying to decide between that brand and gdiapers. Any particular reason your wife doesn't stock gdiapers?
    They haven't been added yet to the website... we actually use them and they sell them in the store. Each has their own merit. We invested in gdiapers a long time ago, so we have all the stuff for them, plus they have the option for cloth and flushables, which is big plus. Fuzzibunz need to be washed everytime you change them, but it is a one size fits all approach. Gdiapers have different sizes, but when the kid poops or pees u just wash the liner and keep using the cloth outter diaper until the kid pees through it, poops, or just overall smells like arse .

    If you got a few hours to kill when you go to la head up north on the 101 to San Luis. Breath taking drive and go check out the store.
    follow me on the twitter @rcplans

  19. #769
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    Thanks, everyone. With the exception of Babies-r-Us and one specialty store in Ithaca we're kind of limited in our options for test drives. We're heading down to NYC at the end of the month, I hope we can check out a lot of baby gear.

    Raf, thanks for all the great recommendations. I'm 99% sure we'll be getting a moby wrap for baby as an infant, we're still up in the air about carriers for when she's older. There is a store in Ithaca that is similar to the one your wife manages and they actually have a baby wearing class, where you can try out the different kinds of wraps and carriers. We're signed up for that class in Nov. They also have a cloth diapering class (we're signed up for that one as well) where you learn about the different types of cloth diapers and pros/cons of each.

  20. #770
    Cyburbian TerraSapient's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by CPSURaf View post
    They haven't been added yet to the website... we actually use them and they sell them in the store. Each has their own merit. We invested in gdiapers a long time ago, so we have all the stuff for them, plus they have the option for cloth and flushables, which is big plus. Fuzzibunz need to be washed everytime you change them, but it is a one size fits all approach. Gdiapers have different sizes, but when the kid poops or pees u just wash the liner and keep using the cloth outter diaper until the kid pees through it, poops, or just overall smells like arse .

    If you got a few hours to kill when you go to la head up north on the 101 to San Luis. Breath taking drive and go check out the store.
    Yes the flushable vs cloth option is what sold us on the gdiapers. When we are travelling, it just might be a good idea to be able to flush the biodegradable lining.

    I'm not sure what our plans are for LA yet. We only have a week and there is sooooo much to do and see. It is like going to Disney Land for grownups. If we have a day to kill, we will certainly head up to SLO!
    Your wife will know it is me when I walk in the store with a monkey wife.
    Occupy Your Brain!

  21. #771
    I have to take my 12-year old daughter to the pediatric cardiologist this afternoon. (She has a patent foramen ovale -- she'll never be a Navy Diver, darnit!). She's also, mmmm, uhhhh, well, developed, if you know what I mean. Previously, the test was done on a sort of ultrasound machine (gel and wand over the center of the bare chest). Moms of Cyburbia, what is the appropriate protocol for me, as dad, and for the cardiologist (also male), when such privacy issues are present? (Mom is not an alternative, so avoid that, thanks!)

    I swear, she was just in diapers the day before yesterday!
    On pitching to Stan Musial:
    "Once he timed your fastball, your infielders were in jeopardy."
    Warren Spahn

  22. #772
    Cyburbian SW MI Planner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Gedunker View post
    I have to take my 12-year old daughter to the pediatric cardiologist this afternoon. (She has a patent foramen ovale -- she'll never be a Navy Diver, darnit!). She's also, mmmm, uhhhh, well, developed, if you know what I mean. Previously, the test was done on a sort of ultrasound machine (gel and wand over the center of the bare chest). Moms of Cyburbia, what is the appropriate protocol for me, as dad, and for the cardiologist (also male), when such privacy issues are present? (Mom is not an alternative, so avoid that, thanks!)

    I swear, she was just in diapers the day before yesterday!
    I would assume they would be pretty discreet, ie do the u/s underneath a sheet, but maybe see if there is a female nurse or PA that can be in the room if it'll make your daughter feel more comfortable.

  23. #773
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Gedunker View post
    I have to take my 12-year old daughter to the pediatric cardiologist this afternoon. (She has a patent foramen ovale -- she'll never be a Navy Diver, darnit!). She's also, mmmm, uhhhh, well, developed, if you know what I mean. Previously, the test was done on a sort of ultrasound machine (gel and wand over the center of the bare chest). Moms of Cyburbia, what is the appropriate protocol for me, as dad, and for the cardiologist (also male), when such privacy issues are present? (Mom is not an alternative, so avoid that, thanks!)

    I swear, she was just in diapers the day before yesterday!
    I had a detailed echocardiogram via ultrasound done about a month ago. The tech was a woman but she still kept me covered up with a combination of gown and sheet so nothing was bared. Most practitioners are pretty good at doing this and if you are going to a peds clinic I am sure the tech is probably somewhat understanding of adolescent shyness. As a dad you can just excuse yourself as she is changing and look away when they are raising the gown to put the ultrasound wand underneath it. Chat with your daughter to keep her distracted too but realize that you may be asked to be quiet or that she can't talk during some parts of the scan.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  24. #774
    Thanks SW MI Planner and Kjel! 'Preciate it!
    On pitching to Stan Musial:
    "Once he timed your fastball, your infielders were in jeopardy."
    Warren Spahn

  25. #775
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    This takes me back to when Wee P got ahold pf a sharpie and drew on everything in the house...although this is much worse:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPNyK7XTy6o
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

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