Several of my boys from High School were assigned to the same firehouse here in Detroit. I visited the place drunk one night when I was about 19. @ that time some of the firemen had had a few pops as well. We spent about a half hour running up the stairs and sliding down the pole. I don't recall much else about that night, but it was great fun!Originally posted by otterpop
Both of my sons called and wished me a happy father's day. I worry about my youngest. He moved to North Dakota. He admits to struggling with drug abuse issues. This dad worries.
Habitual Offender
Glad to hear they called. Not so great news from your younger one, but at least he admits there is a problem. Having had several family members struggle with drugs and alcohol that was the turnaround point for them. Just be there, but don't enable or excuse their actions/behavior.
"He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16
It sounds like your big brother is a great dad! Your niece is lucky she had him for a dad - I don't think she'd be so far along if he hadn't put in the time and effort to get her started off on the right foot.
"We do not need any other Tutankhamun's tomb with all its treasures. We need context. We need understanding. We need knowledge of historical events to tie them together. We don't know much. Of course we know a lot, but it is context that's missing, not treasures." - Werner Herzog, in Archaeology, March/April 2011
We had our first incident of "Creeper Alert" in our new neighborhood.
My 9 year old was out riding her bike yesterday afternoon and this gray hatchback was slowly going down the street, pulling into multiple driveways along the way. My daughter said he had a camera, but she couldn't tell what he was doing. Smartly, she just went inside to tell my wife. I told my wife maybe it was the local assessing department updating pics of new homes, but she didn't think so.
I'm proud of my daughter because she trusted her instincts. We've had the stranger talk with her and her sister before, but it was good to have it reinforced.
I've always talked to them about the difference between being nice to strangers and trusting strangers. Hopefully, this douchbag doesn't roll through my neighborhood again, or he'll have some explaining to do.
"I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"
My "kid" is 19 so maybe we no longer qualify for this thread, but..... I am thoroughly pissed that I was at Office Max yesterday and they had a sign inside that they were looking for people for the copy center (not in the paper or on monster) and the kid just blew it off. His excuse tonight: "You have no idea how rejected I felt when I applied at X, Y, and Z, and they said "You have no experience."" For gods sake, he's smart, can be personable, has to just keep trying, like none of us has ever been "rejected".
Waiting for the scream-fest when he discovers I shut down the Netflix streaming account. Hope RJ isn't hoping for a good night's sleep.
Well, that was ugly.
Last edited by Zoning Goddess; 13 Jul 2012 at 9:34 PM. Reason: kid found out he was blocked from netflix
I was thinking the same thing about the assesing dept. But that is smart of her to be skeptical. You should call the city just to check.
On a different note, we are getting into the formative years with your oldest, and when we tell him to do something or ask a question, the appropriate response is yes sir, no sir, yes ma' am, no ma'am . I admit this might be way old school, but in today's society, I fear that there is too much bad out there not to run a strict house.
If you want different results in your life, you need to do different things than you have done in the past. Change is that simple.
Good for you. My kids address elders as "Sir" and "Ma'am". I'll make them address me as "Ma'am" when they're getting mouthy. I was raised by a former Marine and Southerner (or Midwesterner, depending who you ask.". "Sir" and "Ma'am" was expected, and we were never permitted to refer to Mom using a pronoun.
My nephew has been giving my mom and her husband a run for quite a while, being disrespectful, mouthy, not helping around the house, thinking the world revolves around him, being disruptive, feeling he can come and go as he pleased, etc. and then thought it was ok to come back and act sweet as sugar until the whole cycle started again. He turned 18 during the last quarter of his senior year and so the hammer came down: house keys were taken away so he had to be in the house by curfew or he had to find somewhere else to sleep, all gaming systems were removed from the house and the computer had restricted access, nothing beyond food and shelter were provided to him. He did graduate high school in June and after publicly cussing out my mom we as a family decided that he needed to move out, several offers from various extended family were made but he chose to move in with a friend.
I am not saying to put him out but at this point you are only enabling the situation. He didn't want to go to the regular high school, then he didn't want to go to the alternative school, finally he got his GED and drivers license after a lot of pushing and prodding. He still gets to sit at home, play video games, sit on the internet, watch movies all day, and doesn't do much else that is positive for you on a consistent basis.
You have to be firm, tell him you have 30-60 days to get a job or enroll in school or both. There will be no more internet or games. He will keep his room acceptably clean. He will help out around the house. If he doesn't then he needs to fully understand the consequences of not doing so. if he doesn't want to go to school send him to Job Corps so he can learn a job skill, some life skills, a stipend, and learn how easy he's had it. Take a visit to the local military recruiter as well and talk about opportunities in the service.
RT and I had a come-to-jeebus meeting at the end of the spring semester after a year of lackluster academic performance. I can't justify that much expense out of my budget for mediocrity. The agreement is she moved home, enrolled in community college at her expense for the upcoming year, she reimburse me for the three courses she got C's and D's in, and worked full time in summer/part time during the semester. She also decided to speak to a Navy recruiter on her own to see what opportunities she might have there if she felt that now was not the time for her to be in college. I provide shelter, food, her cell phone, and health insurance. The rest is up to her. Like I told her, "I can't want it for you, you have to want it for yourself."
You have to parent the kid you have, not the one you wish you had.
Hang in there.
"He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16
..but it is about our attempt to raise a child. On Sunday, July 8th I found out that I had lost another pregnancy, this time at 16wks. Apparently the baby had died on July 4th but we didn't find out until a trip to the ER on Sunday. We are heartbroken. This is our 3rd loss in 1 1/2 years. There was no obvious cause of the fetal demise (such a cold, medical term) but it was different from the first 2 losses. Which means that either I have horrible luck or something more complex is going on.
No amount of bunnies will fix the sadness and heartbreak that I feel. Today is my first day back in the office and I just want to go home. Fighting with HUD over a 30-yr old loan and getting yelled at by City Council members just seem so pointless.
Sorry for being so heavy but wanted to share with my "friends".
Dandy,
I am so, so sorry, I don't know what more I could say? My sympathies to you and your family at this sad time.
"I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."
~ Otterpop ~
I'm so very very sorry to hear about your loss.
People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor
Words mean nothing at a time like this. I wish I could just give you a hug.
"I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"
So sorry, Dandy! We went through a similar scenario though the third time it stuck. But its heavy and difficult and disturbing and there's not much more to say except that it looks like Cyburbia's got your back. My thoughts are with you!
The purpose of life is a life of purpose
I wish there were something to say. We're all thinking of you, and wishing it had gone differently.
"...I would never try to tick Hink off. He kinda intimidates me. He's quite butch, you know." - Maister
Echoing all the above thoughts, we're here for you as much as we can be.
“Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”
My thoughts and prayers with you dandy. I know how hard this can be. My wife lost 3 pregnancies before we were successful with our 2 boys.
"Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund
*hugs*hugs*hugs*
"He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16
Dandy - There is not much left that I can express that hasn't been said here already. My thoughts are with you though.
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I'm very sorry dandy.
Thank you all for the kind words. They are truly appreciated.
You know you will always have support here. I am so sorry for your loss...
A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams
Oh dandy, I am so sorry to hear this news. Please keep the faith; I'm yet another one who had a child after 3 miscarriages.
I'm sorry to hear this.
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