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Thread: The NEVERENDING Raising Children Thread

  1. #1001
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by WSU MUP Student View post
    I never even knew that anything other than #2 pencils actually existed!
    Ah, then you've never experience the pleasure of using a No. 1. It has a soft, dark lead, which, while it doesn't keep a point for long, the lead isn't as brittle as a No 2. It writes thicker, richer, more easily read lines and is easily erased. When I worked as a newspaper reporter, some editors still used No. 1 pencils for marking up copy.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  2. #1002
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    Practical application

    Quote Originally posted by wahday View post
    Thanks for all the positive feedback. For the record, we read aloud as a family almost every night and my wife takes the kids to the library about once a week. ...What we realized just recently, though, is that this summer she was deferring to us reading these chapter books as a way to not have to wrestle with reading on her own. So, we are now trying to refocus on much shorter, simpler books and having her read to us. Its still very challenging for her and as I did a little more research about different reading issues, I see a lot of the common challenges present in her.
    • Pronouncing new words and remembering them
    • Breaking words apart into sounds
    • Blending sounds together to make words (this and the above are getting easier of late)
    • Can't remember words; sounds out the same word every time it occurs on the page (this is so distinct with her. Even if it was one or two words earlier, she just canít make that connection that itís the same word with the same pronunciation)
    • Frequently guesses at unknown words rather than sounding them out (when she reads to us, she often says every word as a question, looking to us for approval. I have been encouraging her to just read and jump in and donít worry if its wrong or right - just take a stab at it)
    ... Anyway, we have engaged the school and are doing more reading at home and really trying to prop up her self-esteem which I think is critical to having the drive to continue working on the reading and not be discouraged. Iím just becoming aware of the possibility that we may need to seek some additional assistance or develop an alternative plan to get her up to speed.
    ...
    More ideas: Think up some helpful tasks that use reading skills.
    Groceries? "We need red beans."
    Trip planning? Find Schenectady (or wherever grandma lives) on the map, and the city that's halfway, and then plan the route.
    Bring home a local zoning map, have her find Wahday St, figure out where other places/streets are. (And all the yellow - red- grey zones, bonus!)

    I was recalling a HS algebra class and this one kid who kept asking for a practical application. The teacher became adept at coming up with things we could relate to; if we went to lunch and had to split a check, if we were measuring or weighing something, if we took a long trip and had to figure out the gas breakdown. One time I had my younger niece (an excellent reader) compare the state highway map with the interstate signage. It was pretty cool to hear the light come on as she figured out how far we were from civilization, how long the trip home would take, where the next rest area was.

  3. #1003
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by wahday View post
    Thanks for all the positive feedback. For the record, we read aloud as a family almost every night and my wife takes the kids to the library about once a week. They love it. Over the past year and a half, we have read ALL the Laura Ingalls Wilder books, a bunch of the Judy Blumes (those featuring Fudge along with some others), a few Beverly Cleary books and 4 of the Harry Potters. She loves big narrative books. What we realized just recently, though, is that this summer she was deferring to us reading these chapter books as a way to not have to wrestle with reading on her own. So, we are now trying to refocus on much shorter, simpler books and having her read to us. Its still very challenging for her and as I did a little more research about different reading issues, I see a lot of the common challenges present in her.
    • Pronouncing new words and remembering them
    • Breaking words apart into sounds
    • Blending sounds together to make words (this and the above are getting easier of late)
    • Can't remember words; sounds out the same word every time it occurs on the page (this is so distinct with her. Even if it was one or two words earlier, she just canít make that connection that itís the same word with the same pronunciation)
    • Frequently guesses at unknown words rather than sounding them out (when she reads to us, she often says every word as a question, looking to us for approval. I have been encouraging her to just read and jump in and donít worry if its wrong or right - just take a stab at it)

    I think it will ultimately be fine. I was one of those kids who had a love/hate relationship with reading. I had very high comprehension, but reading was (and to a certain extent still is) an exhausting enterprise. Recently my brother was describing some dynamic my nephew has where it is hard to focus on the line of text because your eyes are darting all over the page, being attracted to other words and mixing up the order of things. The field of words on a page is just too stimulating for some, making it hard to filter out in order to read. Once he described this, I realized ďoh my gosh! Thatís exactly what I feel like!Ē So, I probably have been wrestling with a similar challenge myself.

    Anyway, we have engaged the school and are doing more reading at home and really trying to prop up her self-esteem which I think is critical to having the drive to continue working on the reading and not be discouraged. Iím just becoming aware of the possibility that we may need to seek some additional assistance or develop an alternative plan to get her up to speed.

    I appreciate everyoneís input!
    I was just reading a food blog and thought of you. The author uses food to help her kids stay interested in reading. http://justjennrecipes.com Might be worth a try!

  4. #1004
    Cyburbian ursus's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Veloise View post
    One time I had my younger niece (an excellent reader) compare the state highway map with the interstate signage. It was pretty cool to hear the light come on as she figured out how far we were from civilization, how long the trip home would take, where the next rest area was.
    Very cool! I'm going to have my Addie try this on our trip to Bear Lake this weekend! Very cool indeed!
    "...I would never try to tick Hink off. He kinda intimidates me. He's quite butch, you know." - Maister

  5. #1005
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    My youngest son is somewhere in the state of Dakota (Williston?), working on pipes and tanks. His birthday is at the end of this month. I've done my best to contact him for a mailing address. Nothing in response but cryptic messages. I guess all he'll get from me on his birthday is a voice message.

    What are you gonna do?

  6. #1006
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    His text tonight: "Another rig blew up yesterday. 2 men died. Kinda makes me think I don't get paid enough to get blown up"

    I did a Google and the last I say was two men were severely burned in Williston.


    My nerves are on edge.

  7. #1007
    Cyburbian
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    Quote Originally posted by Richmond Jake View post
    His text tonight: "Another rig blew up yesterday. 2 men died. Kinda makes me think I don't get paid enough to get blown up"

    I did a Google and the last I say was two men were severely burned in Williston.


    My nerves are on edge.
    I hope he's saving a lot of the money he must be earning. I'd be worried, too, but it sounds as though he's reconsidering this job.

  8. #1008
    Cyburbian ursus's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Richmond Jake View post
    His text tonight: "Another rig blew up yesterday. 2 men died. Kinda makes me think I don't get paid enough to get blown up"

    I did a Google and the last I say was two men were severely burned in Williston.


    My nerves are on edge.
    I'm trying to imagine my son working somewhere dangerous and not being able to do anything about it and now MY nerves are on edge! That's got to be tough. Hope you keep hearing only good news from him.
    "...I would never try to tick Hink off. He kinda intimidates me. He's quite butch, you know." - Maister

  9. #1009
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ursus View post
    Very cool! I'm going to have my Addie try this on our trip to Bear Lake this weekend! Very cool indeed!
    Ursus, you know I like you, but right now I am kinda hating you. Bear Lake. My wife wouldn't let me go this year. One malignant melanoma and surgery and suddenly I can't bake in the sun for several days. Sheesh! Women!
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  10. #1010
    Cyburbian ursus's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by otterpop View post
    Ursus, you know I like you, but right now I am kinda hating you. Bear Lake. My wife wouldn't let me go this year. One malignant melanoma and surgery and suddenly I can't bake in the sun for several days. Sheesh! Women!
    I wish I could put you in my pocket and take you with me! That sounded weird so forget I said it.

    Now, your wife has a point. That could be scary, dude. I trust the recovery is good? I will continue to slather myself in sunscreen and make the best of it though..

    I'm leaving in about two hours, so I'll be on the north beach for a late lunch and spend the afternoon. Short trip this time, back on Saturday afternoon.
    "...I would never try to tick Hink off. He kinda intimidates me. He's quite butch, you know." - Maister

  11. #1011
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ursus View post
    I wish I could put you in my pocket and take you with me! That sounded weird so forget I said it.

    Now, your wife has a point. That could be scary, dude. I trust the recovery is good? I will continue to slather myself in sunscreen and make the best of it though..

    I'm leaving in about two hours, so I'll be on the north beach for a late lunch and spend the afternoon. Short trip this time, back on Saturday afternoon.
    Next week I hopefully see the dermatologist for the last time for a while and get a pass for six months to a year. Not that I mind seeing her. She is nice-looking and it is really the only way I can get a pretty woman to touch me all over without the risk of divorce.

    And next year, my wife is probably going out of the country for a month, so maybe i can go next year. Yes, it is a sign of middle age and being thoroughly domesticated when a fellow dreams of his wife going out of town for a month so he can go swimming and get some sun. Watch out, girls. I am a bad boy.

    So, go ahead and enjoy yourself
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  12. #1012
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    RT's 19th birthday is Sunday. Where did the years go? Last year's birthday was knocked out by a hurricane and she was stuck in Philly. This year her friends are planning a nice dinner party for her in NYC on Sunday. So I need to figure out something for the weekend. I swear she's the hardest kid to shop for. Maybe I will just take her for a pedicure and a nice lunch. She's worked 7 days a week this summer at two jobs so I haven't seen her much.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  13. #1013
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    How do you teach a 9 year old girl who is a natural born leader, that her tendency to lead may sometimes cause friction with others?

    Being a leader will serve her well in life, but as a kid, she's having a hard time understanding that she sometimes needs to back down. She also has a tendency to not want to accept blame. Is this also part of being a leader? Being able to shift blame?
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

  14. #1014
    Cyburbian Tide's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kjel View post
    RT's 19th birthday is Sunday. Where did the years go? Last year's birthday was knocked out by a hurricane and she was stuck in Philly. This year her friends are planning a nice dinner party for her in NYC on Sunday. So I need to figure out something for the weekend. I swear she's the hardest kid to shop for. Maybe I will just take her for a pedicure and a nice lunch. She's worked 7 days a week this summer at two jobs so I haven't seen her much.
    That's pretty thoughtful. I don't think I got a birthday thrown by my parents after 16 or 17. Once I was in college my friends usually filled that need (sorry). As far as presents in college it was mostly clothes, gourmet junk foot, and gift cards. I think the mom/daughter spa lunch idea is great.
    @GigCityPlanner

  15. #1015
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by btrage View post
    How do you teach a 9 year old girl who is a natural born leader, that her tendency to lead may sometimes cause friction with others?
    but
    Being a leader will serve her well in life, but as a kid, she's having a hard time understanding that she sometimes needs to back down. She also has a tendency to not want to accept blame. Is this also part of being a leader? Being able to shift blame?
    No experience raising girls but some with the leadership. It will probably take peer pressure (loss of friends, etc.) for her to understand the friction problem. I'd be more concerned about not accepting blame. Leadership isn't just telling people what to do, it's also accepting consequences. Tell her that good leaders make mistakes but they admit their mistakes and offer solutions for fixing them.
    ďDeath comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.Ē

  16. #1016
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    Yesterday evening we took our two-year-old daughter to a trick-or-treating event at the zoo. She's too young to care about getting the candy (though she does like dumping it all out of her bag, sorting everything by color or size, putting it all back in the bag, dumping it out again and starting all over) but she seemed to have a blast seeing all the other kids (and some adults) in their costumes as well.

    The best part: Since she doesn't get to eat candy yet, I have a nice stockpile of Halloween candy built up at my desk at work now.

    "Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost." - 1980 Republican presidential candidate Ronald Reagan

  17. #1017
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Awwwww. Can we have a group Awwwww?
    ďDeath comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.Ē

  18. #1018
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ofos View post
    Awwwww. Can we have a group Awwwww?
    OMG, that is the cutest thing I've seen in months. Just buried the needle on the Cute-o-meter.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, ďWhere are you from?Ē doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  19. #1019
    Cyburbian Plus
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    Taken from Random Thoughts

    Quote Originally posted by ursus View post
    I started out with the Mondays, but then....

    I was making Addie's (7) lunch this morning and asked her if she wanted a different sandwich. Last year it was chicken salad. This year it's "Salvation Salve" (my mom used to make it, it's just butter, peanut butter and honey mixed up together.) She said "No, salvation salve please." I asked her why she didn't want something different, or school lunch or whatever.

    Her answer: "Because at lunch when I eat my sandwich, it feels like you are hugging me."

    I don't deserve that kid. I really don't.
    Quote Originally posted by Hink View post
    I think parents need moments like that.... to remind you why it is all worth it. It balances out when your kid throws the matchbox car at the tv or when you kid falls on a stick and has to get stitches....
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  20. #1020
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    My son is so old school

    Last night my 11-year-old son and I went to the library. I needed to do some research. He was left on his own to hopefully ignite the love of knowledge. After reading Mad Magazine, he browsed the periodicals. And later I found him going through the old bound volumes of National Geographic looking for pictures of naked and half naked native women.

    Yes, I recall when I was about his age and National Geographic changed my life too. I do not recall her name or her country, but she was a flawless African beauty wearing a floral wraparound skirt and nothing else.

    In this world of R-rated movies on Netflix and online pron, it is nice to know my son likes to do it old school, like his papa did.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  21. #1021
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by otterpop View post
    Last night my 11-year-old son and I went to the library. I needed to do some research. He was left on his own to hopefully ignite the love of knowledge. After reading Mad Magazine, he browsed the periodicals. And later I found him going through the old bound volumes of National Geographic looking for pictures of naked and half naked native women.

    Yes, I recall when I was about his age and National Geographic changed my life too. I do not recall her name or her country, but she was a flawless African beauty wearing a floral wraparound skirt and nothing else.

    In this world of R-rated movies on Netflix and online pron, it is nice to know my son likes to do it old school, like his papa did.
    Thanks for the chuckle.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  22. #1022
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by otterpop View post
    Last night my 11-year-old son and I went to the library. I needed to do some research. He was left on his own to hopefully ignite the love of knowledge. After reading Mad Magazine, he browsed the periodicals. And later I found him going through the old bound volumes of National Geographic looking for pictures of naked and half naked native women.

    Yes, I recall when I was about his age and National Geographic changed my life too. I do not recall her name or her country, but she was a flawless African beauty wearing a floral wraparound skirt and nothing else.

    In this world of R-rated movies on Netflix and online pron, it is nice to know my son likes to do it old school, like his papa did.
    I remember those days. I remember thinking that I wasn't quite sure why I liked looking, only that I knew I liked looking.
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

  23. #1023
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    Tough Love is tough

    My son had his final wrestling tournament yesterday. He wrestled three boys. Wrestling the last boy, my son got his first ever win. He felt great. I felt great too.

    Here's the thing: I talked him into trying wrestling. He wanted a break from tai kwon do. I suggested wrestling. Because? Well, because I thought he could use a lesson in humility. For him things usually come pretty easy. He is very smart and quick. He makes the Honor Roll with little effort. He is often the first kid in the class to understand new concepts. He is social. Girls like him. Guys want to be his friend.

    He is a little full of himself.

    So I suggested wrestling, because I thought he could learn humility. Wrestling teaches you humility the hard way. With your face pressed to the mat while some kid is twisting your arms and legs into a pretzel. And you go home sore and your mouth tastes of stale sweat and come-uppance.

    So he lost every match except the very last one. But he didn't give up. Even when he knew he was losing the match, he wouldn't capitulate until the match was over. Then he shook hands with his opponent and went on. I was proud of him for not giving up and being gracious in defeat. And when he won, well, I was proud too.

    But it was damn hard to watch him get bent, twisted and pinned time after time. Tough love is tough. I am glad it is over.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  24. #1024
    Quote Originally posted by otterpop View post
    <snip>

    So I suggested wrestling, because I thought he could learn humility. Wrestling teaches you humility the hard way. With your face pressed to the mat while some kid is twisting your arms and legs into a pretzel. And you go home sore and your mouth tastes of stale sweat and come-uppance.

    <snip>
    As a former wrestler with a rather ignominious record, I salute you and fully agree with your description. And good for your son for sticking with it and earning his first win! There's nothing quite like the ref lifting your arm up after a triumph.
    On pitching to Stan Musial:
    "Once he timed your fastball, your infielders were in jeopardy."
    Warren Spahn

  25. #1025
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    Allowance

    The issue of allowance keeps coming up then fading away. We are not ones for giving the girl $ just because its the end of the week. We've also not been too forceful about doing too many chores, but it has been well understood if you want to earn your allowance there are several opportunities to do so.

    We setup a chore sheet at one time. When she completed the 10 chores on the sheet, she got $10. Those included making the bed, loading & unloading the dishwasher, cleaning her room, etc. That went well for about a month then slacked off. That has been the the routine - in the begining she is gun ho, then slacks off.

    Over the past week we've tried to get chores going again. She's wanting to buy a couple things and we've told her to earn her allowance with chores or put it on her Christmas list. Her best friend is two years older (12) then our girl (10) and has told her that chores are an easy way to earn money an buy anything you want. Now our girl is asking what she can do to help and we've given her tasks (wash dishes, fold and put clothes away) and she's been doing it for about a week now. I am really hoping it continues for more than a month or so this time. Anyone had similar experiences?

    We've also given her 3 "banks" to put her money in - one for savings, one for church and one for spending.
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

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