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Thread: The NEVERENDING Raising Children Thread

  1. #1026
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Planit View post
    The issue of allowance keeps coming up then fading away. We are not ones for giving the girl $ just because its the end of the week. We've also not been too forceful about doing too many chores, but it has been well understood if you want to earn your allowance there are several opportunities to do so.

    We setup a chore sheet at one time. When she completed the 10 chores on the sheet, she got $10. Those included making the bed, loading & unloading the dishwasher, cleaning her room, etc. That went well for about a month then slacked off. That has been the the routine - in the begining she is gun ho, then slacks off.

    Over the past week we've tried to get chores going again. She's wanting to buy a couple things and we've told her to earn her allowance with chores or put it on her Christmas list. Her best friend is two years older (12) then our girl (10) and has told her that chores are an easy way to earn money an buy anything you want. Now our girl is asking what she can do to help and we've given her tasks (wash dishes, fold and put clothes away) and she's been doing it for about a week now. I am really hoping it continues for more than a month or so this time. Anyone had similar experiences?

    We've also given her 3 "banks" to put her money in - one for savings, one for church and one for spending.
    We've never done the allowance thing, We've tried to impress upon our daughters that as a member of the household, you're expected to do things. In turn, I have no problem giving you money for when you need it.

    I know it may not help because they don't see the direct cause-effect relationship, but I also suck at doing charts, sheets, etc.
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

  2. #1027
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Planit View post
    The issue of allowance keeps coming up then fading away. We are not ones for giving the girl $ just because its the end of the week. We've also not been too forceful about doing too many chores, but it has been well understood if you want to earn your allowance there are several opportunities to do so.

    We setup a chore sheet at one time. When she completed the 10 chores on the sheet, she got $10. Those included making the bed, loading & unloading the dishwasher, cleaning her room, etc. That went well for about a month then slacked off. That has been the the routine - in the begining she is gun ho, then slacks off.

    Over the past week we've tried to get chores going again. She's wanting to buy a couple things and we've told her to earn her allowance with chores or put it on her Christmas list. Her best friend is two years older (12) then our girl (10) and has told her that chores are an easy way to earn money an buy anything you want. Now our girl is asking what she can do to help and we've given her tasks (wash dishes, fold and put clothes away) and she's been doing it for about a week now. I am really hoping it continues for more than a month or so this time. Anyone had similar experiences?

    We've also given her 3 "banks" to put her money in - one for savings, one for church and one for spending.
    I dealt with allowance in a similar fashion. Ordinary chores like keeping your room clean, bed made, and putting toys away didn't earn an allowance-those I refer to as "household citizen chores". I had a chart called 100 Ways to $100 for other things like vacuuming, dusting, taking out the trash, folding laundry, etc that had varying dollar amounts attached to each item ranging from $1-$5 and how often each item could be done. Sometimes RT was gung ho, other times not so much. When she wanted a few bucks she knew how to get them
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  3. #1028
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Starting next month (the oldest will be 4) we will be giving commissions. Simple concept of work, get paid, don't work, don't get paid.

    Compensated work will be both chore things like feeding the dog, putting the toys away, feeding fish, and clearing the table, and fun things like painting a picture, planting seeds for the garden, and reading books.

    He will also be required to put 1/3 into spending, 1/3 into saving, and 1/3 into giving.

    And yes... he will be getting THIS from Santa for Christmas. But then again, he loves numbers and reading, so I think he will really like it.
    Invest in the things today, that provide the returns tomorrow.

  4. #1029
    Cyburbian SW MI Planner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by btrage View post
    We've never done the allowance thing, We've tried to impress upon our daughters that as a member of the household, you're expected to do things.
    Same here - both kids know there are certain things they need to do to contribute to the household - keep their bed made, rooms clean, stuff picked up around the house, set/clear dining table, garbage. They are provided room and board (and some extras) in exchange for these things As they get older, I expect that this list will grow to include other activities (dusting, sweeping, vacuuming, etc.) If they want to earn some money for certain things, they can help out with some bigger projects, Lord knows I have a ton on the to-do list.

  5. #1030
    Cyburbian wahday's avatar
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    We have implemented, with moderate success, a similar system to others. Certain chores/responsibilities are simply expected. They do get a modest allowance every other week, but it is predicated on doing what is expected. Allowance is pretty small, but they can earn additional money for doing larger ticket items in addition.

    In reality, this is all rather difficult to track with so many obligations swirling around, especially on the weekends when most of this stuff gets done. We regularly forget to dole out allowance or enforce the base chore list. But overall, they get the concept.

    The interesting thing is that the older one saves his money like a miser while the younger one is ready to go buy stuff RIGHT NOW! Instant versus delayed gratification you say? Well, when it comes to eating a treat, its the younger one who savors it while the older one gobbles it down and is later tortured by the other's lingering enjoyment.

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  6. #1031
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    I was given $20/week as an allowance. I was not required to do any chores and at the time I liked it, but it never pressed upon me to do real honest housework. Now I find myself getting frustrated with my wife when I need to clean things or pick things up. I've spoken with my parents about this and they said looking back it was not probably the right thing to do. We will not have an allowance.

  7. #1032
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    I give my son a base allowance for just being. It is $4/week. If he wants more, then he has to work for it. My wife pays him $5 a week when he helps her with teaching Spanish to her students. On the days we get a lot of snow, he makes out pretty well, because I'll pay pretty well not to have to shovel the driveway.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

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  8. #1033
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Perhaps time has played tricks with my memory, but it seems like Junior (currently in 1st grade) has waaaay more homework than I ever recall having in grade school. To be honest, I don't recall having any homework in 1st grade (although it's possible I simply may not have brought any of it home). Do you get the impression kids nowadays have a lot more on their academic plates than when we were kids?
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  9. #1034
    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Perhaps time has played tricks with my memory, but it seems like Junior (currently in 1st grade) has waaaay more homework than I ever recall having in grade school. To be honest, I don't recall having any homework in 1st grade (although it's possible I simply may not have brought any of it home). Do you get the impression kids nowadays have a lot more on their academic plates than when we were kids?
    I find it amazing how much stuff my 3 yo is learning. I remember pre-school as being a nap and running around a lot. I don't think I learned anything except that I like candy and checkers...
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

  10. #1035
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    On the allowance topic - I received a few dollars each week growing up just for being be. I remember it was usually $1 or $2 when I was under ten years old then it went up to $5 and eventually $10 (or maybe even $20 when I was a junior and senior). I was expected to do certain chores around the house and I would generally get my allowance whether or not the chores were completed. However, if I didn't finish my chores, I might not be allowed to go someplace I wanted or be given a ride to a friends house or something, and we lived far enough out in the country away from my friends that if I didn't get a ride, I wasn't going! I was generally pretty good about doing my expected household chores though so it was never really an issue. I was able to earn extra money by doing farm work - helping bale hay or straw, loading hay or straw for customers, cleaning pens, extra garden work, etc.

    I think we will probably do it the same way for our daughter when she is a little older. She'll even still have the opportunity to earn extra by helping out grandpa on the farm in the summers.
    "Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost." - 1980 Republican presidential candidate Ronald Reagan

  11. #1036
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Perhaps time has played tricks with my memory, but it seems like Junior (currently in 1st grade) has waaaay more homework than I ever recall having in grade school. To be honest, I don't recall having any homework in 1st grade (although it's possible I simply may not have brought any of it home). Do you get the impression kids nowadays have a lot more on their academic plates than when we were kids?
    I don't honestly remember much about homework in 1st grade. My 1st grader has homework usually 1-2 days a week, and it usually has something to do with reading/reading comprehension. It seems about right.
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

  12. #1037
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by btrage View post
    I don't honestly remember much about homework in 1st grade. My 1st grader has homework usually 1-2 days a week, and it usually has something to do with reading/reading comprehension. It seems about right.
    Mine's getting homework 5 days a week. Typically, it takes us/him about 30 mins. to complete it. Seems excessive compared to what I recall.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  13. #1038
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Perhaps time has played tricks with my memory, but it seems like Junior (currently in 1st grade) has waaaay more homework than I ever recall having in grade school. To be honest, I don't recall having any homework in 1st grade (although it's possible I simply may not have brought any of it home). Do you get the impression kids nowadays have a lot more on their academic plates than when we were kids?
    It's not your memory. The load really has increased a lot. For RT nursery school was more about learning colors, numbers, being socialized, and having fun. Now that we are considering options for baby, it's a whole different world. Most likely I will finagle her into my organization's award winning dual language preschool when she's 3 &4.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  14. #1039
    Cyburbian TerraSapient's avatar
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    Has anyone else had to put their sweet adorable baby in an evil demon Pavlik harness to treat shallow hip sockets?
    Occupy Your Brain!

  15. #1040
    Cyburbian ursus's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by TerraSapient View post
    Has anyone else had to put their sweet adorable baby in an evil demon Pavlik harness to treat shallow hip sockets?
    No, but it sounds like it would break my heart! How are you doing with it?
    "...I would never try to tick Hink off. He kinda intimidates me. He's quite butch, you know." - Maister

  16. #1041
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    My eldest son is 26-years old today. That makes me feel ancient.

  17. #1042
    Cyburbian TerraSapient's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ursus View post
    No, but it sounds like it would break my heart! How are you doing with it?
    Not so good. Today is day 1. After a bit of research, we have decided not to follow our doctor's orders on this one. He wants Screecher in it 24/7 for a month. After 30 days of enduring that, he wants a follow up ultrasound to see if the harness is improving the shape of his hip.

    Normal angle ranges for a hip are 60% - 80%. Screecher's is 55%. We think that is pretty darn close to normal (by comparison, a guy at work has a little girl who has been in one for 6 months already and her hip angle started at 25% and is at 45% now or something), so we are only going to put him in it a few hours a day and continue to just wear him in the moby with his little legs separated, and continue with double diapering. I just cannot stand how sad he looks in it and he just screams and cries with frustration at not being able to move. It is heart breaking.
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  18. #1043
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    Quote Originally posted by Richmond Jake View post
    My eldest son is 26-years old today. That makes me feel ancient.
    Happy Birthday to your eldest. How will you feel when your youngest turns 26??

  19. #1044
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by TerraSapient View post
    Not so good. Today is day 1. After a bit of research, we have decided not to follow our doctor's orders on this one. He wants Screecher in it 24/7 for a month. After 30 days of enduring that, he wants a follow up ultrasound to see if the harness is improving the shape of his hip.

    Normal angle ranges for a hip are 60% - 80%. Screecher's is 55%. We think that is pretty darn close to normal (by comparison, a guy at work has a little girl who has been in one for 6 months already and her hip angle started at 25% and is at 45% now or something), so we are only going to put him in it a few hours a day and continue to just wear him in the moby with his little legs separated, and continue with double diapering. I just cannot stand how sad he looks in it and he just screams and cries with frustration at not being able to move. It is heart breaking.
    Is SeaMonkey sleeping a longer stretch at night yet? If so that might be the easiest way to get some hours it. It sounds like his dysplasia isn't too severe. I'd ask about a compromise.

    Having 19.5 years between babies I can really say there is a difference about how interventionist pediatricians seem to be these days. The baby had some borderline kidney dilation noted on her fetal ultrasounds and it was monitored and measured weekly via ultrasound til she was born. I let them do an ultrasound before we brought her home which was still marginal but the urine output seemed fine. It was recommended that we put her on preventative antibiotics to guard against possible UTIs for 6 months. We declined and said we would just monitor her closely....no issues to date and she's 10 months old and thriving. Sometimes babies just need a little time and patience
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  20. #1045
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kms View post
    Happy Birthday to your eldest. How will you feel when your youngest turns 26??
    LOL...I will be 45 when RT turns 26. I will be 64 when the baby turns 26
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  21. #1046
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kms View post
    Happy Birthday to your eldest. How will you feel when your youngest turns 26??
    I will be 67
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  22. #1047
    Cyburbian Plus Whose Yur Planner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kms View post
    Happy Birthday to your eldest. How will you feel when your youngest turns 26??
    I'll be 63. Looks like a bunch of late bloomers in here.
    Last edited by Whose Yur Planner; 21 Nov 2012 at 9:00 AM.
    When did I go from Luke Skywalker to Obi-Wan Kenobi?

  23. #1048
    Cyburbian TerraSapient's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kjel View post
    Sometimes babies just need a little time and patience
    Couldn't agree more! The Doc just got done saying, "in many other countries we don't see babies with this problem, mostly because in those cultures the mother wear's the baby around her waist for most of the time". Umm... so why can't we just continue doing that? He even brought up the comparison because we mentioned that we wear him a lot.

    Glad to hear your little girl didn't need antibiotics.

    --- I guess I should have put all this in the raising children thread. Oopsie. Where is Maister when we need him?
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  24. #1049
    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kms View post
    Happy Birthday to your eldest. How will you feel when your youngest turns 26??
    53. I will be looking to retire about that time....
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

  25. #1050
    Cyburbian TerraSapient's avatar
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    I will be 60 when SeaMonkey is 26. Sheesh, my parents were only 47 I think.
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