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Thread: The NEVERENDING Raising Children Thread

  1. #2076
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    The music classroom at my daughter's school has all sorts of equipment (pianos, full drum set, violins, guitars, ukuleles, etc.) and the teacher allows students who take lessons to bring in sheet music and play for the students for a few minutes at the start or end of the class.

    Our daughter takes piano lessons, and for a 7-year-old who has just started and only goes a few times a month, she seems really good to me, especially since we can only convince her to practice about 10 minutes a week at home. But ever since she found out she could play in front of her friends she's been super into practicing at home, even on weeks she doesn't have piano lessons. I would have been the opposite and have been way too scared to play in front of the other kids in my school.
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  2. #2077
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    So I get a call from the principal at Junior's middle school at lunch. No, he's not in any trouble, the reason for the call was to 'thank' Junior for reporting some 8th grade girl who was smoking cigarettes on school grounds. The school identified the girl and got in touch with her parents concerning her poor choices. Why the principal called to tell me this I really don't know, unless it was his oblique way of telling me 'yer kid's a freakin' low life INFORMER' [sigh]
    Honest to god, I don't know what possessed my son to do that. He doesn't even know the girl, she's never committed any transgressions against him as far as I know, and I utterly fail to see what he believes he's gained by this. Maybe Junior just needs a lesson from this chick's ill-tempered chain smoking 8th grader boyfriend to show him the value of discretion.

    What to say to Junior when I get home?
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  3. #2078
    Cyburbian dvdneal's avatar
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    I'd have to say he did the right thing, kind of. You only snitch on the big things that might hurt someone and schools take smoking as a big problem. Wouldn't want the bad girl to influence others into her bad habit. Just don't go snitching on everything because we all know snitches get stitches.
    I don't pretend to understand Brannigan's Law. I merely enforce it.

  4. #2079
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dvdneal View post
    I'd have to say he did the right thing, kind of. You only snitch on the big things that might hurt someone and schools take smoking as a big problem. Wouldn't want the bad girl to influence others into her bad habit. Just don't go snitching on everything because we all know snitches get stitches.
    Reward him for snitching? Granted he doesn't live in the 'hood, but I think he needs to understand that snitching on the wrong folks in the wrong time and place can get you dead. I suppose he was technically correct in pointing out the behavior he observed was a violation of the rules, but Junior is NOT young Sheldon. I'm trying to grasp his possible motives here. I know he got bullied by some 8th grader a few weeks ago and maybe this is his way of claiming some sort of 'power' (at least in the abstract). Like, don't mess with me... or I'll narc on you and then you'll get grounded by your parents or given detention by the school. It sounds lame but then again he is only 12. At the same time I'd hate for him - especially in the age of social media - to acquire a reputation as a snitch.

    I don't know, maybe I'm the one who's overthinking this.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  5. #2080
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    ^ In regards to snitches getting stitches... Before I'd make a decision on what to do in the situation, I'd try to understand why he reported her to the authorities.

    If it was out of spite, I'd advise him that it probably wasn't the wisest of choices. If it was out of some sort of altruistic regard for his fellow student body... I'd probably still advise him that it wasn't the wisest of choices but maybe ask if he could think of a different way to handle the situation so the girl still got the message and he didn't come off as a busy body.

    In the end, if he really was doing it because he felt it was the right thing to do I'd hate for him to come away from it feeling he did something wrong.




    On a related note, I always send anonymous messages to our HR and Facilities folks when coworkers are standing right in front of the entrance/exit and smoking when they know they are supposed to go to the designated smoking area.
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  6. #2081
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    '10 Worst Toys' list includes swords, drones, fidget spinners
    https://www.usatoday.com/story/money...ist/862445001/


    World Against Toys Causing Harm, Inc. (W.A.T.C.H.)
    https://toysafety.org/toy-safety/201...orst-toy-list/

  7. #2082
    Cyburbian dvdneal's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by WSU MUP Student View post
    In the end, if he really was doing it because he felt it was the right thing to do I'd hate for him to come away from it feeling he did something wrong.
    That's the key right there. He didn't do anything wrong, but there might be better ways to handle it. Maybe try the casual, "What's the deal with the kid smoking at school?" question and let Junior tell the story. Maybe conversation ensues from there?

    Quote Originally posted by JNA View post
    '10 Worst Toys' list includes swords, drones, fidget spinners
    https://www.usatoday.com/story/money...ist/862445001/


    World Against Toys Causing Harm, Inc. (W.A.T.C.H.)
    https://toysafety.org/toy-safety/201...orst-toy-list/
    Yes today's toys are deadly, but not like our toys! I have a giant scar from barbed wire, broke my wrist a couple times, a good scar on my chin, the list goes on. How we survived childhood is a wonder.

    Also this:
    https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-l...-mainway/n8641
    I don't pretend to understand Brannigan's Law. I merely enforce it.

  8. #2083
    Cyburbian
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    So I get a call from the principal at Junior's middle school at lunch. No, he's not in any trouble, the reason for the call was to 'thank' Junior for reporting some 8th grade girl who was smoking cigarettes on school grounds. The school identified the girl and got in touch with her parents concerning her poor choices. Why the principal called to tell me this I really don't know, unless it was his oblique way of telling me 'yer kid's a freakin' low life INFORMER' [sigh]
    Honest to god, I don't know what possessed my son to do that. He doesn't even know the girl, she's never committed any transgressions against him as far as I know, and I utterly fail to see what he believes he's gained by this. Maybe Junior just needs a lesson from this chick's ill-tempered chain smoking 8th grader boyfriend to show him the value of discretion.

    What to say to Junior when I get home?
    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Reward him for snitching? Granted he doesn't live in the 'hood, but I think he needs to understand that snitching on the wrong folks in the wrong time and place can get you dead. I suppose he was technically correct in pointing out the behavior he observed was a violation of the rules, but Junior is NOT young Sheldon. I'm trying to grasp his possible motives here. I know he got bullied by some 8th grader a few weeks ago and maybe this is his way of claiming some sort of 'power' (at least in the abstract). Like, don't mess with me... or I'll narc on you and then you'll get grounded by your parents or given detention by the school. It sounds lame but then again he is only 12. At the same time I'd hate for him - especially in the age of social media - to acquire a reputation as a snitch.

    I don't know, maybe I'm the one who's overthinking this.
    I'd tell him that you got a call from the principal, ask ask your son for his version of the story. Who knows - maybe someone who dislikes the girl put him up to reporting this; it is junior high, after all. Ask him what he thinks will come of this.

    This is the time when he needs to know he can tell you things and you won’t over-react, because you want him that know that he can talk to you about things.

    I didn’t overreact to things my kids told me, and they were often surprised that I didn’t. I can’t believe some of the things they confide in me now. But in the end, they know that I’ll listen and try to help if they need help.

  9. #2084
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    Gonna brag a little. The Girl had a very busy schedule this fall. She is in the marching band which took a lot more time than any of us thought. She also takes dance and travel club soccer. We had 1 night a week (Monday) where we weren't running somewhere in the evening. With that busy schedule, she also brought home straight As.

    Marching season is over and her band teacher told her she needed to audition for All-county Band. She was selected for AC Symphonic Band with a concert in the middle of December. She said her band teacher wants her to audition for District Band now.

    Club soccer ended and she wanted to stay active over the winter to get ready for HS soccer in the spring (she is 1 of 2 freshman the HS soccer coach has asked about - the other is a teammate on her club team). On her own, she tried out for the swim team and made it (she has never swam competitively). Her first meet is tonight. HS soccer try outs are 5 days after the last meet in February.

    I am concerned about her doing too much and she knows if grades start to fall some activity will have to go. As a freshman, she has jumped into high school with both feet and doing it well.
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  10. #2085
    Cyburbian The Terminator's avatar
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    When your kids are old enough to ask for the wheel, theres nothing safer than a VOLVO !

  11. #2086
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    would you do this ?


  12. #2087
    Cyburbian
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    Quote Originally posted by JNA View post
    would you do this ?

    A flattened cardboard box or nylon sleeping bag works, too.

  13. #2088
    Mod Gedunker's avatar
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    A couple of things I found interesting (and made me feel very old) with my daughter recently.

    1) We bought some "Sunny D" at the grocery and when she tried it, I smelled it and thought it smelled exactly like TANG. She had no idea what TANG was.
    2) We were driving and I noticed a Datsun B-210 and pointed it out to her. She looked at me blankly and I had to tell her Datsun was the forerunner name of today's Nissan. She had no clue.

    Finally, why do we say "dial the phone" when there is no dial? Do kids today even know what a "dial" is/was?
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  14. #2089
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    Quote Originally posted by Gedunker View post
    Finally, why do we say "dial the phone" when there is no dial? Do kids today even know what a "dial" is/was?
    Sure, it's the thing you get up to turn when you change the channels on tv
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  15. #2090
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    Option 1:
    Stay in current area, move to slightly better public school district, increase mortgage payment slightly. Send Itty Bitty to public school. Have $ available to enjoy life. Live 30 minutes from parents (Itty Bitty is super bonded to them). Hubby has 1 hour commute. I have 10 minute commute.

    Option 2:
    Move to new area, better services, more opportunities for everything. Live in good school district, increase mortgage payment moderately. Send Itty Bitty to private Montessori school. Have limited $ to enjoy life. Live 2 hours from parents. Hubby has 1.25 hr commute. I have 30 minute commute.

    Option 3:
    No idea.



    How much is a good education worth?
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  16. #2091
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    Option 1:
    Stay in current area, move to slightly better public school district, increase mortgage payment slightly. Send Itty Bitty to public school. Have $ available to enjoy life. Live 30 minutes from parents (Itty Bitty is super bonded to them). Hubby has 1 hour commute. I have 10 minute commute.

    Option 2:
    Move to new area, better services, more opportunities for everything. Live in good school district, increase mortgage payment moderately. Send Itty Bitty to private Montessori school. Have limited $ to enjoy life. Live 2 hours from parents. Hubby has 1.25 hr commute. I have 30 minute commute.

    Option 3:
    No idea.



    How much is a good education worth?

    I don't understand. Option 2 says "live in a good school district...send Itty Bitty to private Montessori school" - that kinda counteracts each other.

    I'd opt for Option 1. Unless the public school is on the very low end it will be fine. A lot of the education piece -IMHO- is on the parents and how active they are in their child's education. Additionally there are some very good after-school programs for additional opportunities if so desired/needed/required. The only thing I've ever said to The Girl's teachers was "keep her challenged" & I know a couple teachers that gave their really good students an extra assignment or two to do just that.

    Option 2 sacrifices many family-options because of lack/restricted of time & money. That extra 15 mins for hubby & 20 mins for you will add up. The other piece of that is (& I know for personal experience) when you need to pick Itty Bitty up because she's sick at school or similar, you be farther away & longer to make it.
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  17. #2092
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    Option 1:
    Stay in current area, move to slightly better public school district, increase mortgage payment slightly. Send Itty Bitty to public school. Have $ available to enjoy life. Live 30 minutes from parents (Itty Bitty is super bonded to them). Hubby has 1 hour commute. I have 10 minute commute.

    Option 2:
    Move to new area, better services, more opportunities for everything. Live in good school district, increase mortgage payment moderately. Send Itty Bitty to private Montessori school. Have limited $ to enjoy life. Live 2 hours from parents. Hubby has 1.25 hr commute. I have 30 minute commute.

    Option 3:
    No idea.



    How much is a good education worth?
    We're committed to giving our children the best education General Mills box tops can provide!



    On the serious tip though.... Based off of the options you listed, everything else equal, I'd shoot for Option #1. All of the commute times are lower, you have more money left to enjoy life, you are closer to your parents, and your mortgage payment sees a smaller increase than in Option #2.

    I'm curious though - you list both options as being in good public school districts. Why not send the child to public school in Option #2? How "good" of a school district is it? I cannot imagine buying a home in an area where I would count the district as being one of the assets that weighed positively on my decision to purchase there, pay all those property taxes, and then not send my kids to those public schools, unless the private schools are so totally awesome and so close to the house that they were the reason to purchase.
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  18. #2093
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Planit View post
    I don't understand. Option 2 says "live in a good school district...send Itty Bitty to private Montessori school" - that kinda counteracts each other.

    I'd opt for Option 1. Unless the public school is on the very low end it will be fine. A lot of the education piece -IMHO- is on the parents and how active they are in their child's education. Additionally there are some very good after-school programs for additional opportunities if so desired/needed/required. The only thing I've ever said to The Girl's teachers was "keep her challenged" & I know a couple teachers that gave their really good students an extra assignment or two to do just that.

    Option 2 sacrifices many family-options because of lack/restricted of time & money. That extra 15 mins for hubby & 20 mins for you will add up. The other piece of that is (& I know for personal experience) when you need to pick Itty Bitty up because she's sick at school or similar, you be farther away & longer to make it.
    Quote Originally posted by WSU MUP Student View post
    We're committed to giving our children the best education General Mills box tops can provide!



    On the serious tip though.... Based off of the options you listed, everything else equal, I'd shoot for Option #1. All of the commute times are lower, you have more money left to enjoy life, you are closer to your parents, and your mortgage payment sees a smaller increase than in Option #2.

    I'm curious though - you list both options as being in good public school districts. Why not send the child to public school in Option #2? How "good" of a school district is it? I cannot imagine buying a home in an area where I would count the district as being one of the assets that weighed positively on my decision to purchase there, pay all those property taxes, and then not send my kids to those public schools, unless the private schools are so totally awesome and so close to the house that they were the reason to purchase.
    The Montessori schools we are looking at in Option #2 are only through 9th grade, so we would want to send Itty Bitty to a good high school after the investment in private school!!!!!!!!!!!!


    I am having a really difficult time imagining Itty Bitty stuck in a chair for 6-7 hours of her life (she can do that when she's a public servant /snark). The only Montessori school in our area is not an option because I happened to visit on the day the lead teacher decided to PROVE to the children (3-6yo) that Santa does not exist.
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  19. #2094
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    The only Montessori school in our area is not an option because I happened to visit on the day the lead teacher decided to PROVE to the children (3-6yo) that Santa does not exist.
    Afterwards, did this same teacher lead the children in a rousing session of snapping-wet-towels-at-kittens-and-puppies?
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  20. #2095
    Mod Gedunker's avatar
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    Thinking back about the decision to send our kids to private school: I don't think they did markedly better academically than they would have in public school. Spiritually, they are both atheist, so that was a waste of money (as I predicted). They both had a positive socialization experience (both are special needs), but I'm not sure they wouldn't have had the same in public school. My son experienced some bullying early on in high school, my daughter none. He might have had a rougher time in public school, but there's no way to be sure.

    If I had the decision to make over, I would have saved the money, and sent them to public school. With the money saved (and put into a 529 plan) they probably could have to gone to college debt free, for the most part.
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  21. #2096
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    I am having a really difficult time imagining Itty Bitty stuck in a chair for 6-7 hours of her life (she can do that when she's a public servant /snark)...
    Have you checked out your local public schools and gone in for a tour? Ours is not anything like what I imagined and just glancing into the classrooms you'd be hard pressed to distinguish it from most Montessori schools (except for the number of kids in the class, but that varies and I'm happy with the class sizes we've had so far) and based on what what I've seen in the curriculum (granted, we're only into the second grade) and what I've heard from parents with older kids and what I know about Montessori programs, our public school is much closer to that, and nothing like the traditional old-school elementary program that I had or that most people are probably familiar with.

    However, I understand there can be huge differences from one public district to another, and even among the individual schools within a district.
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  22. #2097
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    The Montessori schools we are looking at in Option #2 are only through 9th grade, so we would want to send Itty Bitty to a good high school after the investment in private school!!!!!!!!!!!!


    I am having a really difficult time imagining Itty Bitty stuck in a chair for 6-7 hours of her life (she can do that when she's a public servant /snark). The only Montessori school in our area is not an option because I happened to visit on the day the lead teacher decided to PROVE to the children (3-6yo) that Santa does not exist.
    High school is a very long way off. I would stick with what you've got due to proximity to your back-ups.

    As for the Montessori Santa issue...maybe meet with the principal about that?

  23. #2098
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    Quote Originally posted by Gedunker View post
    Thinking back about the decision to send our kids to private school: I don't think they did markedly better academically than they would have in public school. Spiritually, they are both atheist, so that was a waste of money (as I predicted). They both had a positive socialization experience (both are special needs), but I'm not sure they wouldn't have had the same in public school. My son experienced some bullying early on in high school, my daughter none. He might have had a rougher time in public school, but there's no way to be sure.

    If I had the decision to make over, I would have saved the money, and sent them to public school. With the money saved (and put into a 529 plan) they probably could have to gone to college debt free, for the most part.
    This.

    Take a look at some public schools before you decide. My boys did so-so in catholic school and thrived in public school. Private schools might not offer some of the extra classes like home ec, shop and real art. The catholic school art class was sorely lacking in a certified art teacher.

  24. #2099
    Unfrozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
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    Option #1

    Unless the pub SD in this option is operationally behind the times, elementary age kids don't 'sit' for hours on end anymore. My three sons are all elementary age and at the same public school right now and they are up and moving around all the time.

    At my sons' school, the 3rd grade rotates everyday between the 3 classes for specific subjects. It gets the kids up and going a little throughout the day.

    I went to a private Christian school from 1st-8th and it was ok, but then moved to the public SD for high school. The private school was ok for 1st-8th, but fell apart academically in 9th-12th (which my older brother and sister had to endure). We had a good local public SD and I think my parents somewhat regretted paying for the private school for so long, as I would have been just fine and likely better challenged in the public schools.

    My wife and I have never once considered private school (apart from nursery/preschools). We are (and appears you guys are too) in a socioeconomic position to choose school districts.

    Also, remember, whether you child goes to the local public SD or not, you're still paying for the public SD.

    So, choose....wisely.
    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    Every day is today. Yesterday is a myth and tomorrow an illusion.

    You know...for kids.

  25. #2100
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    Well, I mentioned option #2 to my mother in a purely hypothetical sense and she said it would cause her heart to shrivel up and die. So there's that.


    Perfect world scenario I would like to send Itty Bitty to Montessori just for the first few years to set a good foundation but Ms. Santa-Slayer nixed that idea. The public schools around here are not bad by any means but they do follow the Common Core curriculum which has its pluses and minuses.
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

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