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Thread: Most Painful Self-Inflicted Injury?

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    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Most Painful Self-Inflicted Injury?

    We've just about all been subjected to pain by others and most guys have taken a shot to the privates but what have you done to yourself that really, really hurt? Sorry fairer ones, but that rules out childbirth, even the Most Blessed One had some assistance getting to that point.

    My Story - The most painful injury memory that I haven't permanently repressed went like this. I was standing very near the top of a step ladder (supported by the wife) and trimming tree limbs with a pole saw. One limb fell into the high-tension lines which immediately began to arc loudly. Self-preservation instincts kicked in and I threw the trimming pole in one direction and jumped backwards in the other. My landing on one foot on the concrete patio was accompanied by loud popping sounds as each metatarsal joint rotated under me and excruciating pain set in quickly. Within minutes, although miraculously no bones were broken, my foot and ankle were about the size of my knee. Ten years, therapy and orthotics not withstanding, I still can't stand/walk for extended periods of time without pain.

    What's your story?

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    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Taking corn kernels off a corn cob with a serrated Sabatier knife. The Corn Gods protested and the corn cob slipped out of my left hand but not before I filleted my left index finger cutting into the nail as well. Five hours in the ER, anesthetic injected into the base of my finger to quell the pain, and 9 stitches later I got to go back to my friend's house where I promptly passed out due to the throbbing pain and drugs. Stitches out 10 days later and no lasting damage to the nail and a barely visible V-shaped scar. No, I don't cut corn off the cob anymore.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  3. #3
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    I was 17 and at a school retreat. Taking a walk down by the river I saw a rope swing and decided to give it a try. As I was reaching the peak of my arc and about ready to jump in the Bogue Falaya, I noticed the pool of water had a big snag in it. I swung back, missed my footing and slammed into the tree. Pretty much every bone from the top of my head to my knees took the brunt of the hit. Knocked the wind out of me too. I slid off the bank and into the shallow water. Just sat there for a couple of minutes, recovering enough to limp back, very worse the wear. I never told anyone my sad story. Until now.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Playing "chicken" in the college quad with my GF on my back. Blew out a knee and dropped on both kneecaps. Was on crutches but nothing broken. It was bar time I felt no pain till the next morning.

    I do recall being wheeled into x-ray screaming "NOOOOOOO! He's Dr. Shrinker!!!!" over and over.

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    A Few Shots Of Pain

    Pain Shot Number 1 - Camping in northern Minnesota. I was trying to split wood with a hatchet that should have been sharpened by a sharper-than-this-bear camping pro. The hatchet wedged into a piece of wood and I could not get it out. I tried and tried to wedge it free......no luck.

    Finally, I got "smart". I placed the wood between two small saplings and yanked the hatchet toward me. It came loose and smacked me right in the face, giving me a great bruise, a cut lip, and the very-irritating-at-the-time sound of my wife laughing her axx off at me.

    Pain Shot Number 2 - This one wasn't my fault. Playing basketball, I was undercut by a less-than-athletic Ohio State Highway Patrol officer. I ended-up spending a night in the hospital (checking for concussion) and was rewarded with a busted arm.

    I consider it "self-inflicted" because I had made the decision to play basketball with less-than-coordinated patrol dudes.

    Pain Shot Number 3 - Katie and I were cleaning the old Henry County house. We were in the process of moving out. Katie was using a razor knife to remove tile from the kitchen floor. She was struggling.

    "Gimme that!", I said. "Here's how you do it."
    I grabbed the knife and on the first slice the stuck piece broke free and the razor knife sliced through my finger. Hospital stitches were required.

    Pain Shot Number 4 - Fishing at a lake in eastern Ohio. i was casting for largemouth bass. My treble hook deep diving lure became stuck in some weeds. I yanked really hard.....it came free.....and flew through the air toward me. My reaction was to quickly cover my face. The treble hook went into my middle finger and came out the other side.

    A hospital visit was required.

    Yes, I am a klutz.

    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Plus
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    When I was much younger -
    Sledding - broke one of my front teeth off.
    imagine calling your Dentist on a sunday afternoon.

    Then 30 yrs later had to have the crown replaced.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  7. #7
    Fell head-first off a deck on a house, while helping to install a railing on it. The concrete below broke my fall, thankfully. Broke my face open. Hospital required. D'oh.

    Was doing one of those "how high can you jump" things, measured by a jagged, broken, rusty tape measure on the wall. I jumped up, tapped the tape measure, and coming back down, my hand met Mr. Tape Measure's sharp edge. Opened up my index finger nice and good, and sliced through the meaty portion of my hand at the base of my thumb. Hospital likely required, but not attended. Gnarly scar remains. Not many people notice, but my (now ex) girlfriend did, and it produced sympathetic crooning. Scar = chicks. Hmm...

    I'm probably lucky that I didn't wind up losing some teeth in the first event, and I'm REALLY lucky I didn't have any lasting damage to my hand after the second event. I was a half inch off from some serious veins, and going any deeper probably would have resulted in nerve damage. (Or maybe that's why my hand felt cold and numb for two weeks afterwads? D'oh.)

    Other than that, nothing really exceptionally cool to report.

  8. #8
    moderator in moderation Suburb Repairman's avatar
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    The good one (as far as quantity of blood): sawing off the tip of my finger on a table saw in high school, with only the fingernail holding it on. It was successfully reattached.

    The good one (entertainment value for everyone on here): In college I decided to test the laws of physics. A four-story parking garage had just been completed next to my dorm. So, some friends and I decide to create a homemade parachute and base jump off the top of it. I went first and discovered that four stories is not enough for any kind of parachute device to open. I survived with two severely sprained ankles, a cracked patella, two broken ribs and a minor shoulder separation. Nobody else jumped after me... go figure. The worst part? I was not under the influence of anything--I was of sound mind when I decided to do this. The next worst part? I was a resident assistant in the dorm, so all of my residents gave me holy hell about it.

    "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

    - Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)

  9. #9
    Cyburbian JNL's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Suburb Repairman View post
    So, some friends and I decide to create a homemade parachute
    Thanks for the best laugh I've had all week!

    All these stories of sliced fingers and broken bones are making me cringe!

    My most painful self-inflicted injury might be when I got lost in the local mountain bike park on my first time there, and fell off multiple times as I tried all the medium and expert tracks in an attempt to get out of there! I had a massage a few days later and the massage therapist was HORRIFIED at the bruises covering my body, said she'd never seen anything like it. I'm surprised I didn't break anything considering how many times I fell down banks with my bike on top of me. Oh, did I mention the whole park is single track on steep hillsides and it had rained a couple of days earlier?

  10. #10
    Cyburbian
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    Had just spent three days in the infield at the Charlotte Motor Speedway living on a diet of Winn Dixie roast beef and cheap beer. The last race was done and the track was covererd with pieces of tire. If you've ever watched a NASCAR race, you'll here them talking about it being slick on the high side of the curves. This debris is why. So we hopped the fence and started looking for things to slide down the 30 degree slope. The lid of a cooler worked quite nicely. That is untill you get to the bottom and the lid bounces out from underneath you and you start rolling. Sprained wrist and bruised ribs, not the most painful, but the best time getting injured
    Last edited by noottamevas; 14 Jul 2007 at 9:22 AM.

  11. #11
    Here's a good "duh" one from today. It's not the most gory or exciting, but given how timely it is...

    I was moving some big ol' wood and metal tables with my friend. She is wearing flip-flops. I keep reminding her, "please be careful of your feet," "I wish you had closed-toe shoes," "watch out for your toes," etc. She's fine, but what do I do? Drop a %#$%-%^#$^#$%#$^#ing table on my toe. Not the worst I've ever felt, but it is sore and has a nice blood blister under the nail. My ego suffered the most injury.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Not terribly exciting, but I've broken the same little toe 3 times by walking into furniture or doorframes. (My son says to mention the furniture did not jump out at me...). Broken toes hurt a lot when you have a job that requires you to wear high heals. And it's embarrassing those first few days, wearing a power suit and tennis shoes...

  13. #13
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess View post
    Not terribly exciting, but I've broken the same little toe 3 times by walking into furniture or doorframes.
    ZG, I feel your pain. While it wasn't the same degree or duration of pain as my starter note, I too have broken a little toe in the middle of night. I tend to toe out with my right foot and that was just enough to slam my little toe into the door jamb as I attempted to step around one of our dogs in the dark. Since they both believe that their full name is Damn Dog, he wasn't impressed by my outburst but I was pretty sure that I had actually ripped my toe off.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
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    I havent really injured myself that badly ever.

    I broke my wrist- which was a bit of a saga i shall explain...

    I was rollerblading down the street one day- which was a slope. Us neighbourhood kids would race down the street and jump the kerb and land on my neighbours lawn. I did this as usual, but i landed on the neighbours driveway which was rocky and i fell on my butt, using my wrists to soften my fall. I hurt my right wrist, which was broken, but i didnt know at the time.

    Mum said i was whinging, and told me to suck it up. I went to my swimming club that night, which was championship night. I swam a 100m butterfly and 50m backstroke and my wrist hurt like crazy. Went to swim a 50m freestyle- dove into the pool and my wrist bent back on impact- i swam the whole way balling my eyes! Now this happened on a friday.

    Parents took me to the medical centre on Sunday- felt guilty after they found out it was a break!!!
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

  15. #15
    Slicing the tip of my left ring finger clean off lingers because of the unusual flat spot there to remind me of hwta can happen in a hurry when one shouldn't be in a hurry.

    But the most painful was the bike ride down a slope above our baseball field at my elementary school. Maintenance was planning to replenish the dirt on the fields and had stockpiled a mound of earth at the base of the hillside. I remember thinking I could pedal down the hill, up the stockpile and get some air.

    I got air alright, as the bike went one way and I another. I landed with a "WHOOOOMP" that combined compressing everything in me while simultaneously exhausting all the air inside me. Every inch, every ounce of everything in me, hurt. Bad.

    Sheepishly, I raised my pounding head off the ground to look around to see if anybody had witnessed this incredible stupidity. Clear, slunk off to my bike and pedaled home as fast as my aching body and throbbing head would allow.

    I remain amazed that I did no lasting damage to myslef.
    On pitching to Stan Musial:
    "Once he timed your fastball, your infielders were in jeopardy."
    Warren Spahn

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    While doing some home renovations, I was drilling a couple holes in a 1x4 to prevent the board from splitting when I screwed it into the wall. I was holding the board with my left hand and drilling with the right. Well the drill bit went theought the board rather quickly and right into my hand - essentially drilling a hole in my hand (thank goodness it wasn't all the way through). I have a nice scar that looks like a J as a reminder.

    The other was a cracked ankle from soccer practice...
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

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    I don't know WHY I opened this thread!! It gives me goose bumps and makes me physically ill to hear aobut fingers being sliced off and broken bones!!!
    I have never broken a bone, thank goodness, but I have fallen down a few times...I guess the worst self inflicted injury happened after a few (lots of) drinks ( duh, imagine that!!); I was in heels, out with my ex husband and slipped/tripped/something on a parking lot...I feel pretty hard on my hand, arm and face...brusies, cuts, sprained wrist and a poster on my office door to this day that says "Stop, drop and roll" with a pic of a person sprawled out on the floor . I guess the guys found it amusing that I screwed myself up that badly from drinking and walking (I hit the pavement face first )

  18. #18
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    I was cutting out press on letters (yeah, I'm old, helvetica medium, even!) and cut through the skin between my forefinger and my middle finger - you could see clear in to the bone -

    now, with kids, they are the ones with the gross injuries...

  19. #19
    Cyburbian the north omaha star's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kjelsadek View post
    Taking corn kernels off a corn cob with a serrated Sabatier knife. The Corn Gods protested and the corn cob slipped out of my left hand but not before I filleted my left index finger cutting into the nail as well. Five hours in the ER, anesthetic injected into the base of my finger to quell the pain, and 9 stitches later I got to go back to my friend's house where I promptly passed out due to the throbbing pain and drugs. Stitches out 10 days later and no lasting damage to the nail and a barely visible V-shaped scar. No, I don't cut corn off the cob anymore.
    This sounds almost exactly the way I almost cut off the tip of my right thumb. I was at my part-time job in high school, and I was trying to lock one of my 'buddies' in the freezer. He pushed the door open from the inside, while my hand was still on the latch. The latch cuts through meaty part of the thumb into the 'white meat'. Three years later my 'buddy' goes to jail for 10 years for his part in a driveby shooting, and I am a planning superstar. Things tend to work themselves out.

    I almost ripped of my left index finger by dunking on a basketball rim with a chain net. I didn't know that the chain wrapped around my finger until I was trying to land.
    I am recognizing that the voice inside my head
    is urging me to be myself but never follow someone else
    Because opinions are like voices we all have a different kind". --Q-Tip

  20. #20
    Cyburbian craines's avatar
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    While the intial pain I do recall, the 6 months rehab was quite painfull.

    I used to road race motorcycles, closed course sanction compititions, and HighSided my bike in a highspeed corner at 160mph. I landed straight on my head and but was immediatel smacked by another bike. I was revived and airlifted out, comatosed. I was in this state for approximately two to three weeks and when I came out had zero recall of the event. I had broked 7 ribs, collarbone, leg, severe separation of both shoulders, massive head trauma, and so forth. Due to the morphine i didnt really feel anything but once i was off the phine it hurt to blink.

    Oh by the way Right after I got med clearance, 6 months after the event, I started racing again, and actually got a forth place in Open SuperStock (1000cc bikes).

  21. #21
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    Becoming a public sector, development review, rubber stamping planner.

    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  22. #22
    Cyburbian TOFB's avatar
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    Doing my best Mr. Jinsu knife dude imitation and damn near cutting my thumb off. . .

  23. #23
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Seems like planners and knives/blades aren't a good mix
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  24. #24
    Cyburbian GISgal's avatar
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    Ouchy

    Some really hurty stories being told here.

    -Was doing an all nighter in archtecture school. Building a model at about 1:30 in the morning and using a number 10 surgical steel blade in my exacto knife. Not paying enough attention to the cut I was making I sliced about 4 mm of my skin clear off my finger. Still missing the 4mm. Bled like the dickens and throbbed like a son of a gun, but I am no workse for the wear.

    -Same year in architecture school. Running late for class. Took a "shortcut" on a muddy path. Was going to the woodshop in the basement of the school and didn't bother to wipe my feet of mud. Went down half a flight of concrete stairs on my tail bone. Grabbed for the railing and pulled my shoulder good. Never had it checked, but I am pretty sure I broke my tail bone. I couldn't sit straight for about three months.

    -My huband has a good story. He was finishing up counting the tills from the cashiers at the store he managed. He placed the money in the money bags and was putting it in the safe so it could be deposited at teh bank the next day. For whatever reason he was distracted by someone and didn't notice that his thumb was in the way of the safe door. The safe door tore off his thumb nail. He was in so much shock that he didn't believe he needed to go the hospital. Fortunately someone convinced him otherwise. His thumbnail grows in strangely but is still there.
    “I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.” - Thomas Edison

  25. #25
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Dating that one chick............

    Seriously, I can't say that I've ever had a serious injury, self inflicted or otherwise. I've never had a broken bone. A few minor stitches when I was very young. I've never been to the emergency room except for those few stitches. I guess the most serious injury I've had was a horribly sprained ankle resulting from playing basketball. My ankle still makes a cracking sound to this day when I walk down a flight of stairs.

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