Urban planning community

+ Reply to thread
Results 1 to 17 of 17

Thread: Is it ok to cry during an interview?

  1. #1
    Cyburbian joshking2's avatar
    Registered
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Music City USA
    Posts
    115

    Is it ok to cry during an interview?

    After a long dry spell, I had an interview for a job I really would have liked. I did my prep work, practiced what I was going to say, which stories to tell and which ones NOT to tell. And then I got hit with two questions that dumbfounded me. I had no idea what to say. Needless to say this threw me off my game, then I had a case of the Ummmmmms. I tried to make a joke out of it, but to no avail. I didn't actually cry, but I think I may have looked like it. The one woman actually told me to breathe, cause I was turning red. Do you think I still have a chance?

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2001
    Location
    South Milwaukee
    Posts
    8,935
    Depends. What were the questions.

  3. #3
    Cyburbian joshking2's avatar
    Registered
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Music City USA
    Posts
    115
    I probably should have made a note of them. Whoops.
    Next time I get one like that I will write it down.

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Plan 9's avatar
    Registered
    Jun 2007
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    194
    Well unless it was a for an acting job (or economic development ), I would say that crying would not be a good way to get the job.

    The advice you got from the interviewer was actually pretty good. I would add that if you don't know the answer, say so, it is very easy to spot someone who is trying to bs their way through. Relax, be yourself, and keep in the back of your mind that the interviewers are just people too. Although, they are people that can affect your future, so don't get too chummy!
    "Future events such as these will affect you in the future."

  5. #5
    Cyburbian boilerplater's avatar
    Registered
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Heaven or Las Vegas
    Posts
    916
    To get better with the interview process, I suggest you got for jobs you don't really care about getting just to practice your interview skills. Of course you want to show that getting the job is very important to you for a job you actually want, but don't be in the frame of mind that your very life hinges on getting it. You'll be able to think more clearly.
    Adrift in a sea of beige

  6. #6
    Moving at my own pace....... Planderella's avatar
    Registered
    Dec 1998
    Location
    NOLA
    Posts
    4,468
    If you get hit with a question you can't answer, be honest about it. Take your time and say that I've never had that experience or whatever and then try to redirect the question/answer to something that you're more familiar with. It's okay to not know the answer sometimes. People can't expect you to know everything. Those questions could have been a test to see how well you respond under pressure. I can think of countless presentations to the planning commission, advisory committees, general public, etc. where I've been asked at least one question or given a comment that I couldn't really respond to. It happens to the best of us. You just have to learn how to gain control of the situation without losing your composure.
    "A witty woman is a treasure, a witty beauty is a power!"

  7. #7
    Cyburbian KSharpe's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2006
    Location
    in the midwest
    Posts
    744
    I read an article the other day about how women cry too much at work, and it can really hurt your career. I have now cried twice at work in a year (once during a really bad evaluation, the other when I got diagnosed with a disease over the phone). I am trying to prevent this from happening again, but I'm kind of an emotional person- some people are just criers! I think its best if your employer discovers this after he hires you, however. A good way to prevent tears is to press your tongue to the roof of your mouth- it really helps!
    Do you want to pet my monkey?

  8. #8
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
    Registered
    Jul 2003
    Location
    In the Second Linel
    Posts
    5,809
    Blog entries
    6
    Interviews are tough. Often you have four people staring at you, grilling you and judging you. The advice about admitting you don't know the answer is good. I've done that and I still got the job.

    It is probably too late for this job interview, but it is a lesson learned. The next one should go better.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Jeff's avatar
    Registered
    Dec 2001
    Location
    Mr. Cool Ice
    Posts
    4,161
    No. It is not OK to cry in an interview.

  10. #10
    Cyburbian MacheteJames's avatar
    Registered
    Jun 2005
    Location
    NYC area
    Posts
    783
    You know, it may not officially be "okay" to cry during an interview, but look, we are all just human beings here trying to do our best, you were under pressure, and you clearly must have really wanted this position to feel so invested in a successful outcome that you nearly cried. Interviews are about the most unnatural social situation there is and it's easy to psyche yourself out.

    Were I interviewing a candidate for a position, I would not hold it against them were this to happen as long as it were clear that the candidate possessed the other worthwhile qualities that I'd be looking for.

  11. #11
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2001
    Location
    South Milwaukee
    Posts
    8,935
    I still want to know what the question was.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian cch's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Machesney Park, IL
    Posts
    1,437
    I'm guessing they now assume you don't function well under pressure, and you should probably start looking for a different job elsewhere. Believe me, a better job could more than likely come along. And now you've gotten that out of your system, and you know what to improve on.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
    Registered
    May 2005
    Location
    Metro Detroit
    Posts
    6,410
    I would say that it depends on the type of position you're interviewing for.

    That being said, if I was interviewing someone for a planning position which would require dealing with citizens and developers, and this person cried at the interview, I wouldn't even consider them.

    If you can't hold up under pressure during an interview, how are you going to react when John Q. Citizen calls you a commie dictator and threatens to sue you? Or a developer tells you you're incompetent and just drying to squeeze all the money out of him you can?

  14. #14
    Cyburbian michiganplanner's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 2005
    Location
    the verge of Stan-dom
    Posts
    473
    I'm with Jeff on this one. Just as it is in baseball , it is not ok to cry during an interview. After, yes, during no.
    I'd be more apathetic if I weren't so lethargic.

  15. #15
    Cyburbian JNL's avatar
    Registered
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Wellington, NZ
    Posts
    2,447
    Quote Originally posted by otterpop View post
    Interviews are tough. Often you have four people staring at you, grilling you and judging you. The advice about admitting you don't know the answer is good. I've done that and I still got the job.
    I agree. I had a question when I was interviewed for my current job - something about what sort of company culture am I most comfortable in, and I didn't know how to answer because I've never worked for this type of company before, plus I'd only recently arrived in Canada and wasn't sure if things might be a bit different over here. I asked the guy to explain a bit more about what he meant by culture, which he did, and then he laughed and said something about how well I turned the question around and used it to get info from him.

    I don't think it's okay to cry in an interview. Sure it's one of the most nerve-wracking experiences, but as btrage pointed out, the interviewers won't know whether this is out of character for you, or a regular occurrence!

    It's hard not to be nervous but it's important to remember that an interview is a two-way process: you're also there to find out if it's a good fit for you. You wouldn't have been asked to the interview if you didn't have some valuable skills and/or experience that are of interest to the employer, so have confidence in yourself and use the opportunity to ask them a few questions. This approach has helped me be less nervous.

  16. #16
    WHAT????? There's no crying in planning!!!

    I can't think of any circumstance where that would come off well.
    In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

  17. #17
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2001
    Location
    The Cheese State
    Posts
    9,904
    Add me to the list of people who would hesitate to hire somebody who cried at an interview. I am assessing the potential employee's reactions to pressure situations, because as planners, we are often put into a difficult place by the public. If somebody were to attack a planner or his/her work, your first response to try to laugh it off would be a good one. Of course, you have to follow it up by looking relaxed and not acting flustered.

    I am occassionally an examiner for a certification exam that includes an interview. It is amazing to see how many of the people - who are required to have several years of experience to sit for the exam - are visibly nervous. There really is no reason. There are two things you need to do:

    1) Be confident in what you know. You really do know what you know you know. And you also know when you do not know. Answer questions with confidence and share an example from your past where you have dealt with the issue in the question. If you do not know, then start by admitting that you have not had experience with that, then then follow up with something like "I would have to check, but it seems similar to..., in which case...," or "I would start by looking at the state statute and also research how other communities are dealing with...."

    2) Go into the interview with the thought that you do not NEED the job and that you are as likely to decline it as to accept it if it is offered to you. We get nervous and flustered when we put too much emphasis onto things like job interviews. Relax. You really should be checking them out as much as they are checking you out, which makes it an even playing field. Two of the last three jobs I got were ones I was not sure I wanted, and I am sure it showed in the interview. In one case, my hesitation was one of the factors that made them want me even more.
    Anyone want to adopt a dog?

+ Reply to thread

More at Cyburbia

  1. The interview you'd like to have...
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 12
    Last post: 22 Jul 2009, 1:20 PM
  2. Interview for job I may not want
    Career Development and Advice
    Replies: 13
    Last post: 10 Oct 2007, 3:12 PM
  3. Replies: 9
    Last post: 30 Jan 2006, 3:05 PM
  4. If you are going on an interview...
    Career Development and Advice
    Replies: 2
    Last post: 11 May 2005, 4:07 PM