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Thread: Fortune cookies

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Tom R's avatar
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    Fortune cookies

    Another reason not to believe fortune cookies. I just opened one that read: "You will bring a mystical air of sensitivity to your surroundings." NOT EVEN CLOSE!
    WALSTIB

  2. #2
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Two recent ones:

    What you are looking for has to find you.
    The public will be served well by your good deeds.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  3. #3
    Cyburbian ruralplanner's avatar
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    Taped to my computer screen:

    Everyone agrees you are the best.

  4. #4
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    It may be just me, but it seems most fortune cookie fortunes are not really fortunes, but more like statements about a particular facet of life.......


    Like instead of saying "You will find new friendship shortly", it now reads "Friendship is important to life".

  5. #5
    moderator in moderation Suburb Repairman's avatar
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    My friends & I for a long time have always added the phrase "in bed" to the end of the fortune cookie prediction... makes it far more entertaining!

    i.e. kjelsadek's:

    "The public will be served well by your good deeds in bed."

    "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

    - Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)

  6. #6
    From today's chinese lunch: Despair is criminal (in bed).
    From a previous lunch: Embrace change, don't battle it (in bed).

    'burb fixer -- that is hilarious!

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Greenescapist's avatar
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    I have a quirky friend who, as a hobby, makes chairs and other pieces of furniture out of odd objects. He took a plain chair frame, made a seat, and then used a staple gun to fasten hundreds of wrapped up fortune cookies all over the chair. You can actually sit on the thing and surprisingly, most of the cookies don't break. It's a great conversation piece for parties.

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Fat Cat's avatar
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    Fat Cat

    Friends of ours always add "in bed" to whatever the message is
    This always puts a different slant to the message and usually brings a lot of laughter to the table and sometimes frowns from nearby tables

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Tom R's avatar
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    cookies

    Let's see: "You will bring a mystical air of sensitivity to your surroundings in bed." Sounds better, but no more accurate.
    WALSTIB

  10. #10
    Cyburbian DetroitPlanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Tom R View post
    Let's see: "You will bring a mystical air of sensitivity to your surroundings in bed." Sounds better, but no more accurate.
    It is more accurate if you are married nd have a flattulance problem.
    We hope for better things; it will arise from the ashes - Fr Gabriel Richard 1805

  11. #11
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    Over the years my trick followed these lines:

    "Oh, fortune cookies. Tell me your's, Bear.", said the wife or the girlfriend.

    I would pretend to read the fortune but I would go into quite graphic detail about what would she would be doing to me later in the evening.
    _____

    Normal response usually was along the lines of:

    "In your dreams. Eat your egg foo yung."

    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    Katie brought home Chinese food this week. Here's the fortune.....

    "You are deeply introspective, imaginative, and sensitive.....in bed".

    True enuf.



    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  13. #13
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    Has anyone ever found fortune cookies to predict anything in the future? I am still patiently awaiting the benefits of my fortune cookie that told me I would come into a huge sum of money.
    Children in the back seat can cause accidents - and vice versa.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Tide's avatar
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    Best one I every got; "Choose another fortune cookie"
    @GigCityPlanner

  15. #15
    Cyburbian Salmissra's avatar
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    I had Chinese for lunch. Today's fortune cookie contained this gem:

    Your reputation is your wealth.
    "We do not need any other Tutankhamun's tomb with all its treasures. We need context. We need understanding. We need knowledge of historical events to tie them together. We don't know much. Of course we know a lot, but it is context that's missing, not treasures." - Werner Herzog, in Archaeology, March/April 2011

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