Urban planning community

+ Reply to thread
Results 1 to 24 of 24

Thread: 101 gifts NOT to get your SO for Christmas

  1. #1
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 2004
    Location
    on my 15 minute break
    Posts
    18,930

    101 gifts NOT to get your SO for Christmas

    - Meijer gift certificates
    - lingerie....two sizes two small
    - a bowling ball with your initials (thanks Homer)
    - a gift box filled with a delightful assortment of Slim Jims, lottery tickets, sunglasses, windshield wiper fluid, and gas card
    - fruitcake
    - trial samples of viagra

  2. #2
    Cyburbian AnvilPartners's avatar
    Registered
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Glendale, AZ
    Posts
    157
    Blog entries
    12

    Never, ever give...

    Jenny Craig, WeightWatchers or any other diet subscription or food
    Self improvement or weight loss books
    Deoderant
    Major household appliances like a hot water heater, washing machine, etc.
    Household cleaning supplies, vacuums, mops or scrub brushes
    Car Parts -- brake pads, spark plugs, tires
    Guns, ammo, fishing equipment (to the wife that doesn't do those sports)
    "Sometimes you have to get medieval with it...hammer, sparks, sweat, the whole nine yards...so don't forget your asbestos suit."
    Aphorisms on Public Hearings, Planning Guild Handbook (2001).

  3. #3
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 2004
    Location
    on my 15 minute break
    Posts
    18,930
    Quote Originally posted by AnvilPartners View post
    Self improvement or weight loss books
    My late mother was a master of the unwelcome not-so-subtle-advice-present. One year she had been all over us to 'quit renting and buy a house already' and wrapped both of us a copy of the local real estate listings guide

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
    Registered
    May 2004
    Location
    Grand Rapids, Michigan (Detroit ex-pat since 2004)
    Posts
    4,856
    Aftershave (if SO has facial hair)
    A self-help book about r'ships (How to Get Along With People)
    Nose hair trimmer
    Knife-sharpening stones complete with honing oil (been there done that)
    Warm wooly sweater in a lonesome color & style (BTDT)
    5-speed hub for a bicycle wheel...no spokes, no rim (ditto)
    Gift certificates/cards (if someone is a SO, you should have at least an inkling of tangible hardware)
    Donation "in your name" to a Good Cause of the giver's (not the giftee's)

    Maister wrote:
    Slim Jims, lottery tickets, sunglasses, windshield wiper fluid, and gas card: "oops, I forgot to shop, and the only place open is a gas station!"

  5. #5
    Cyburbian RandomPlanner's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Dibs on the Northeast
    Posts
    685
    a chia pet

    (nothing says screw you like a chia pet!)
    How do I know you are who you think you are?

  6. #6
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
    Registered
    Jun 2005
    Location
    In my own little bubble
    Posts
    2,564
    How about at least getting them something and not nothing!!??
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

  7. #7
    Cyburbian RandomPlanner's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Dibs on the Northeast
    Posts
    685
    Quote Originally posted by natski View post
    How about at least getting them something and not nothing!!??
    oooh, that's rough! Sorry Natski.

    (I haven't actually recieved my gift from my non-boyfriend either, btw. But we've both been sick so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for something good.)
    How do I know you are who you think you are?

  8. #8
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 2004
    Location
    on my 15 minute break
    Posts
    18,930
    Quote Originally posted by RandomPlanner... View post
    a chia pet
    "...We've been together for how long now? Six years, you say? I've been waiting for the right time and occasion to give you this, and I think that moment is right now [pulls chia pet from behind back]...from the bottom of my heart, Merry Christmas, Darling....."


    ch-ch-ch-chia

  9. #9
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
    Registered
    Jun 2005
    Location
    In my own little bubble
    Posts
    2,564
    Quote Originally posted by RandomPlanner... View post
    a chia pet

    (nothing says screw you like a chia pet!)
    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    "...We've been together for how long now? Six years, you say? I've been waiting for the right time and occasion to give you this, and I think that moment is right now [pulls chia pet from behind back]...from the bottom of my heart, Merry Christmas, Darling....."


    ch-ch-ch-chia
    I had to wiki this to find out what it was!! Alas i got one of these when i was a kid. Didnt last very long but.

    Actually i could see the SO getting me something like this. Lets hope not!
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

  10. #10
    Cyburbian
    Registered
    Dec 2006
    Location
    midwest
    Posts
    2,819
    Pez Dispensers
    Self Help Books
    Slinkies, yo-yos, spinning tops (one year is quite enough)
    Cologne, unless I tell you which one.
    A mini-pool table, poker chips, pictures of dogs playing pool, or a mini-slot machine (unless you loaded it with a ton of money).
    Small cruddy gifts from publishers clearing house (tiny crystal candy dishes, corn on the cob holders, or digital golf game score keepers)
    "This is great, honey. What's the crunchy stuff?"
    "M&Ms. I ran out of paprika."

    Family Guy

  11. #11
    Unfrozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
    Registered
    May 2003
    Location
    Staff meeting
    Posts
    8,824
    Men's pajama pants - just because they aren't as "girly" as the womens' pants doesn't mean they will be appropriate.

    Any household appliance, unless specifically requested.
    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    The ends can justify the means.

  12. #12
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 2004
    Location
    on my 15 minute break
    Posts
    18,930
    Quote Originally posted by nrschmid View post
    Pez Dispensers
    Self Help Books
    Slinkies, yo-yos, spinning tops (one year is quite enough)
    Cologne, unless I tell you which one.
    A mini-pool table, poker chips, pictures of dogs playing pool, or a mini-slot machine (unless you loaded it with a ton of money).
    Small cruddy gifts from publishers clearing house (tiny crystal candy dishes, corn on the cob holders, or digital golf game score keepers)
    This list reminds me that bad gifts can also be classed by type:
    1. Cheapskate gifts (pawning off freebies or garage sale specials)
    2. Thoughtless gifts (ones with little or no 'special personal' consideration/thought e.g. gift certificates to grocery, etc.)
    3. Clueless gifts (items useless to an individual e.g. feminine hygiene product for a guy, shoes for amputees, season tickets for someone who hates sports etc.)
    4. Offensive gifts (or at least potentially offensive e.g. self-help books)

    There are probably other categories (many of the above overlap) but those are all that occur to me at the moment. Feel free to add.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian AnvilPartners's avatar
    Registered
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Glendale, AZ
    Posts
    157
    Blog entries
    12

    I have a relative

    that is a master at the "Passive Agressive Gift"

    Makes it hard sometimes to keep up the season's spirit...

    RES
    "Sometimes you have to get medieval with it...hammer, sparks, sweat, the whole nine yards...so don't forget your asbestos suit."
    Aphorisms on Public Hearings, Planning Guild Handbook (2001).

  14. #14
    Cyburbian hilldweller's avatar
    Registered
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Land of Confusion
    Posts
    3,775
    Quote Originally posted by AnvilPartners View post
    that is a master at the "Passive Agressive Gift"

    Makes it hard sometimes to keep up the season's spirit...

    RES
    Yes, I am familiar with this type of present, which often straddles the line between serious vs. joke gift because it is slightly humorous in nature. Under the surface, however, there is a personal slight directed at the recipient, often bearing reference to a body part, personality trait, or personal hardship or situation. The gift-giver, in such cases, prefers that the recipient open the gift in a large group gathering to maximize the intended effect and potential humilation of the recipient.

  15. #15
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 2004
    Location
    on my 15 minute break
    Posts
    18,930
    Quote Originally posted by hilldweller View post
    Yes, I am familiar with this type of present, which often straddles the line between serious vs. joke gift because it is slightly humorous in nature. Under the surface, however, there is a personal slight directed at the recipient, often bearing reference to a body part, personality trait, or personal hardship or situation. The gift-giver, in such cases, prefers that the recipient open the gift in a large group gathering to maximize the intended effect and potential humilation of the recipient.
    What would be an example? You mean like giving a whoopee cushion to someone on a high fiber diet?

  16. #16
    Cyburbian TOFB's avatar
    Registered
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Loma Linda's
    Posts
    1,452
    An invitation to join this cult

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4OxmXpKCcI

    All ye rise!

  17. #17
    Cyburbian
    Registered
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Suburban Chicago
    Posts
    451
    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    What would be an example? You mean like giving a whoopee cushion to someone on a high fiber diet?
    No, if you have the Mother in law that I have, you would know exactly what a passive agressive x-mas gift is.

    Example 1: Pink Sweater for x-mas in size XXL. "I thought this was so cute and thank goodness they had it in your size, which was two sizes larger than mine".

    Example 2: Inappropriate, overly fru-fru clothes for your children "Child x is dressed like a ragamuffin, she deserves to look like a little girl."

    Example 3: Cheap pots and pans. "I thought this might help your cooking".

    All of the above are real life examples from my life!!!

  18. #18
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
    Registered
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Slightly Off-Center
    Posts
    8,260
    Quote Originally posted by southsideamy View post
    No, if you have the Mother in law that I have, you would know exactly what a passive agressive x-mas gift is.

    Example 1: Pink Sweater for x-mas in size XXL. "I thought this was so cute and thank goodness they had it in your size, which was two sizes larger than mine".

    Example 2: Inappropriate, overly fru-fru clothes for your children "Child x is dressed like a ragamuffin, she deserves to look like a little girl."

    Example 3: Cheap pots and pans. "I thought this might help your cooking".

    All of the above are real life examples from my life!!!
    OMG! You're in the Barone family!
    Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.

  19. #19
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
    Registered
    May 2003
    Location
    Northwestern Ohio
    Posts
    9,327

    A Few Not To Get...

    For Her.....

    Weight-loss books, pills, programs, yadda.
    Full-length mirror.
    Cubic zirconia items.
    Bikini wax kit.

    For Him.....

    DVD: The Notebook
    Size small condoms
    _____

    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  20. #20
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
    Registered
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Middle of a Dusty Street
    Posts
    6,419
    A scale...
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  21. #21
    Cyburbian Coragus's avatar
    Registered
    May 2002
    Location
    Kzoo . . . for now!
    Posts
    1,150
    Apparently, don't give SO chinese Fu Dogs.
    The cookies are worth the drive

  22. #22
    Cyburbian AnvilPartners's avatar
    Registered
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Glendale, AZ
    Posts
    157
    Blog entries
    12

    My favorite of all time...

    My mother, to my wife at christmas...

    "I've been working on this for about six months -- it's your favorite color!"

    It was a hand crochet shawl (excellent work, really), in Barney Purple.

    My wife looked like one of the California Raisins with it on (if you remember them).

    When the 60's come back, she's ready!

    RES
    "Sometimes you have to get medieval with it...hammer, sparks, sweat, the whole nine yards...so don't forget your asbestos suit."
    Aphorisms on Public Hearings, Planning Guild Handbook (2001).

  23. #23
    Cyburbian Plus JNA's avatar
    Registered
    Jun 2003
    Location
    De Noc
    Posts
    18,949
    I have not had this problem for at least 30 yrs.
    Think of the money saved and grief avoided.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  24. #24
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
    Registered
    May 2005
    Location
    Metro Detroit
    Posts
    6,420
    Quote Originally posted by JNA View post
    I have not had this problem for at least 30 yrs.
    Think of the money saved and grief avoided.

    ...and all those special gifts you've missed out on.

    Seriously......even if the spouse is a "neat freak", no vaccum cleaners...
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

+ Reply to thread

More at Cyburbia

  1. Worst...Christmas...Gifts...Ever
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 26
    Last post: 30 Dec 2009, 10:31 AM
  2. Christmas Gifts - 2007
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 33
    Last post: 27 Dec 2007, 8:08 PM
  3. Christmas gifts that surprised you.
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 21
    Last post: 29 Dec 2006, 11:36 AM
  4. Crappy Christmas Gifts
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 21
    Last post: 14 Dec 2006, 9:16 PM
  5. Christmas gifts for the difficult...
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 44
    Last post: 28 Nov 2006, 10:31 AM