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Thread: The Wedding Guest Thread (AIB M'skis)

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    The Wedding Guest Thread (AIB M'skis)

    In the '08 Stanfest thread, M'skis said he had two weekend weddings on the proposed dates. M'ski's, guess you are at that age where your friends and Mrs M'skis' are getting hitched at a rapid rate, not counting cousins, co-workers, etc. You'll hit a lull for a couple decades, until all your friends' kids are getting hitched.

    RJ and I were discussing this tonight. He figures he's been to a total of 7 weddings in his life, including his own two. I was at that many before I was out of high school (lots of older cousins). For the most part, I don't like going to weddings. I don't like to dress up. One reason ours was in shorts by the pool.

    How many weddings have you been to? Any fun stories about you or other guests?

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    You Asked For It.....

    This Bear has been to a ton of weddings. Because of our Polish-Russian-Lithuanian heritage, we were regulars for the big giant events at the Lagrange Street Catholic Church, St. Hedwig's, and the receptions that followed. Most of those weddings were for cousins that were at least 10 years older than me, so drinking wasn't part of my adventure. (I would have been 5-15.)

    Mr first wedding was at a Michigan Magistrate in downtown Monroe, MI. 39 years ago last week. Just four of us. When it was over we drove to my home in west Toledo. "Mom, we just got married." "You WHAT?"

    I never lived under their roof again.

    Wedding 2 was at Oak Openings Metro Park, on a beautiful summer evening. I wore green tennies. I drank a lot of whiskey (not my usual drink) before the ceremony. It was Black Velvet. Smooth. We started driving to Montana immediately after the reception, held in my wife's back yard.

    Wedding 3 was at the Village Office in Liberty Center, OH. The Mayor married us and my son and my wife's three kids all went to dinner. (We were already all living in the house-in-the-booneys, anyway.)

    Wedding 4, with Katie, was performed by the Mayor of Napoleon, OH. He designed the 50-star American flag. During the ceremony in his office we asked why he had all the pictures of him shaking hands with presidents and celebrities. Because of the flag thing.

    Most fun wedding.....good (boating) friend was getting married at 5:00 PM, in suburban Cleveland, OH. Four of us left Toledo at 8:00 AM, deciding to stop at every bar that had at least three or four cars. We were late.

    Obviously, no fancy-schmancy weddings for this Bear.

    Bear

  3. #3
    Cyburbian
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    I've been to:
    Friend from HS wedding (found out it was a gay husband, then they were polyamourous, now they are getting divorced...eventually)...I was the maid of honor
    Two cousins
    Distant relative
    Co-worker of my mom's
    Two college acquiantances
    MrTresmo's cousin

    That makes 9. I think. The wedding that I was the maid of honor in had a rehearsal dinner involving a fistfight between the bride and her mother. One of the college friend's weddings was a blast, I had a great time, and I was surrounded by empty cups by the end of the night. We drove back to the hotel and I threw up in the parking lot. Luckily I got out of my date's car before I ruined his brand new leather. Good times.

    MrTresmo has been to a ton of weddings, many more than I have...and yet he has no opinions on ours.

    Farthest I traveled was to Iowa from Indiana...I think...unless that was from Connecticut.

    Nicest was in Fort Wayne, IN on the top floor of the then Fort Wayne National Bank building. It was a black and white wedding...everything done perfectly.
    Last edited by Tresmo; 02 Apr 2008 at 9:53 PM.

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Plus
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    Still Single.

    I have been to close to 2 dozen. I was best man for my first brother.

    Most elaborate/full blown was Catholic Mass, Wedding Service, and full sit down dinner.
    Simplest was a reception in town park with hotdogs and a keg of beer.

    Furthest I have traveled include: Texas to NJ; Indiana to Florida; Indiana to Colorado.

    Reason I did not attend one - dress code called for black tie. (don't own nor was I willing to rent)

  5. #5
    Cyburbian illinoisplanner's avatar
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    I've been to three so far, and was a member of the wedding party in all three:
    Cousin's wedding at age 6 (ring bearer)
    Brother's wedding (co-best man)
    Other brother's wedding (co-best man)

    All the weddings/receptions have been pretty similar in size and style, with the exception of my cousin's, whose ceremony was held outside.

    The people that are by far the most fun at my family's weddings are my mom's friends. It's like they're back in the 1970s/1980s all over again. They're the ones pulling everyone out on the dance floor.

    Also, everybody loves my best man speeches.
    "Life's a journey, not a destination"
    -Steven Tyler

  6. #6
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    I've been to more weddings than I can remember. Two of my own, both my boys, my brother's and both his kids. Church weddings, outdoor weddings, living room wedding, I can think of three that I consider unusual.

    The living room wedding was two second marriage people in their home with the vows performed by a co-worker who held a minister's license of some sort. Copious amounts of adult beverages and recreational substances were consumed afterwards.

    There was the Greek Orthodox wedding, a beautiful ceremony with bride and groom wearing wreaths on their heads. Magnificent church with all the pomp & ceremony that you can imagine.

    And finally, the marriage of one of my roommates, a Southern Baptist boy to a young Jewish lady in the then still elegant Book-Cadillac Hotel in Detroit. I was the yarmulke wearing best man (former Presbyterian and practicing agnostic at the time) for the Jewish ceremony. There should be a movie script in there somewhere.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Let's see if I can remember (wine buzz tonight).

    My oldest brother's wedding
    My first wedding.
    High school friend's wedding (Dave)
    Wedding of my first love (not to me)...damn you, Hollis
    My younger brother's two weddings
    ex-BIL's 3 weddings.
    ex-BIL's 2 weddings
    ex-BIL's 1st wedding (he'll have more)
    The two Barney sisters' weddings (Cheryl was cute; Caroline...that's another story)
    A wedding out in San Anselmo CA (no clue who that was or why I was there)
    LadyBug's wedding
    My second wedding (well documented here)
    Annoyingly insensitive

  8. #8
    Cyburbian TOFB's avatar
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    Huh? Remember I'm in the band.

    Most wedding gigs suck except we don't play all that much and get a nice check.

    Most memorable (and worst) when we played for the wedding of NY Giants (JNA) lineman David Diehl in Feb '07. It was at the Drake in Chicago, zero frickin degrees, we had no roadies and had to load in from about three blocks away. The players were cool, but the wives and GF's were total beeatches.

    We were asked to play New York, New York (not our genre) and Eli Manning and Tiki Barber came up and tried to sing with us. They sucked but they are cool guys anyway.

    We made $4000; for comparison, the bar bill was $58,000. No Sh!+.

  9. #9
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by TOFB View post
    We made $4000; for comparison, the bar bill was $58,000. No Sh!+.
    You need to cut the drummer off. They always run the tab up past the take.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  10. #10

    Out of control weddings

    Hang on to your hats, this wedding is wild.

    I was Best Man at a wedding, no big deal, normal responsibilities. A 1/2 Basque/ 1/2 Mormon woman was marrying a college buddy, church wedding, big party at local hotel, the works.
    For thosemof you who do not know what a Basque is, theyy are pretty much the exact opposite of what a Mormon stands for.
    1. 14 year old cousin of bride is drunk, smoking cigars, sitting at the head table. Did I mention he's Mormon?
    2. Bridesmaid is doing shots all afternoon. Turns out she is diabetic, no one knows, she collapses on ground, paramedics arrive and take care of her.
    3. Groom pukes into garbage can next to bar. Says the shot went in the wrong pipe.
    4. Bride pukes in bathroom. Mom is holding hair up so everything is fiine.
    5. Groomsman is having sex with girlfriend in men's room. Loudly.
    6. Bride is walking downstairs behind old lady. For some reason, grabs ladies hair. You guessed it, its a wig.
    7. Myself and other groomsman are propositioned by bridesmaid. The same bridesmaid. At the same time.
    8. Wedding party is staying at condo at Lake. Wedding party decides to skinny dip. Certain members clothing disappears from beach, causing a sprint race to the condo door
    9. Groomsman starts bawling during wedding. Uncontrollably.
    Yep. That wedding was a blast.

  11. #11
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    I've been to 5 or 6 weddings for older cousins, 3 weddings for older siblings (though of my four brothers and sisters, there has been 7 weddings between them), 1 aunt's wedding, 1 wedding for a friend from high school, two weddings for friends of my fiancé, and that's it.

    This year though, counting my impending nuptials next month, I already have four weddings penciled into my calendar.

    The furthest I've ever traveled for a wedding was from the Detroit area to a city in the middle of nowhere in Illinois (Pontiac, IL).

    The nicest one I can remember is my oldest sister's wedding with a table probably 50 feet long just covered with desserts! It doesn't matter who is there, if it's an open bar, or how the music is but if there is a table collapsing under the weight of chocolate, it will be a good time.

    The worse time I ever had at a wedding was at that of a friend of my fiancé’s who I had only met once before and I did not know a single person there. The wedding was outside in the middle of August and no alcohol was served.
    "Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost." - 1980 Republican presidential candidate Ronald Reagan

  12. #12
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by jkabrown View post
    Yep. That wedding was a blast.
    Sounds like a National Lampoon movie!



    I've been to maybe a dozen weddings in my lifetime. Maybe I'll post a pic from a particularly memorable one (then again maybe not - I'm not looking to get in trouble with Homeland Security)
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  13. #13
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    So far this year I will be going to three...
    Including mine, I have been to about a dozen and a half in the past 6 years.
    If you want different results in your life, you need to do different things than you have done in the past. Change is that simple.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Bubba's avatar
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    I have no idea how many weddings I've been to - more than 50, less than 100. I have one to attend in May (co-worker), and then no more for the foreseeable future...
    I found you a new motto from a sign hanging on their wall…"Drink coffee: do stupid things faster and with more energy"

  15. #15
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    no idea how many weddings i've attended. the farthest i've travelled for a wedding was to England. BF's best friend lives there and BF was the best man.

    i've only been in the wedding party for two weddings - maid of honor for my sister's and bridesmaid for a friend from HS.

    recently received a "Save the Date" card for a co-worker/friend's wedding in August.
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    Somewhere in the 15 to 20 range (including two of mine).

    Best: A very good friend (lawyer) got married to a girl from a very well to do family. Big church wedding, open bar reception at the country club (I left undigested food on the practice green late in the evening), live band with lots of wedding guest interaction (which was not part of the original plan), a flashing from two bridesmaids.

    Worst: vary straight laced southern baptist, with punch at the reception in the fellowship hall.
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  17. #17
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    I've been to:

    brother's
    family friends' kids - four of those
    older cousins - six of those, one cousin twice
    friends - 4
    mine - two of those

    The guests:

    The only time I was a bridesmaid, the wedding party was lined up to walk down the aisle. The bride's grandma says real loud "Well, let's get on with the wedding so we can get on with the divorce!". That marriage lasted 6 months.

    Very large mother of the bride slipping on a wet floor and sliding on her ass across the reception room.

    I'm amazed at how many people bring uninvited children to weddings.

    My brother's new MIL refused to let me have 2 pieces of cake to take to our maids, who were at my parents' house setting up for a family dinner.

    One friend who got married was Baptist and their church was the only place her parents would let her have the wedding and reception, so no liquor. She liked to party but went along with that. It was the shortest reception I've been to. Anyway, she was "saving" herself and happy her boyfriend respected her wishes and never pressured her. He was a bodybuilder; guess why he wasn't pressuring her? They divorced after 9 months and had had sex only 4 times.

    I've been bad, too. I got my brother tipsy before his wedding and tried to talk him out of it. Too bad it didn't work.

  18. #18
    Cyburbian Mud Princess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess View post
    For the most part, I don't like going to weddings. I don't like to dress up. One reason ours was in shorts by the pool.
    I'm with you on that, ZG. We told everyone we invited to our wedding to wear shorts, or whatever they were most comfortable in (it was July), to the disbelief of some. Fortunately, my friends know me well and followed instructions. I wore an off-the-rack dress... with sneakers .

    The first wedding I attended, I was 9 or 10. I didn't know the bride or the groom -- I was with my babysitter! -- and the ceremony was conducted entirely in French. Groom was Canadian or something.

    I didn't get to go to another wedding until I was in my 20s. I haven't been to many: fewer than 10. No fun stories that I can remember... At most of them, we stay for the reception, but as soon as the music and dancing starts, we're outta there.

    I can never understand why people who don't listen to crappy music will hire a crappy cover band to play at their wedding, or bring in a DJ who plays the kind of music they themselves won't listen to.

    If you attend a Catholic wedding, and you're not Catholic, what are you supposed to do during the religious part of the ceremony? Sit, stand, kneel, and pray like everyone else? A couple of my husbands' co-workers have had religious ceremonies, and I always feel so out of place, even though I can't possibly be the only non-Catholic there.

  19. #19
    Cyburbian Bubba's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Planit View post
    Worst: vary straight laced southern baptist, with punch at the reception in the fellowship hall.
    Just off the top of my head, that describes at least seven of my cousins' weddings.

    My favorite: Buddy of mine got married a couple of years ago in the big historic synagogue in downtown Savannah - first non-Christian wedding I'd been to (aside from a couple of civil ceremonies), and the rabbi did a fantastic job of explaining to us gentiles what was going on as the ceremony progressed. Surf-and-turf dinner reception with a fully stocked open bar as well...
    I found you a new motto from a sign hanging on their wall…"Drink coffee: do stupid things faster and with more energy"

  20. #20
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Mud Princess View post
    If you attend a Catholic wedding, and you're not Catholic, what are you supposed to do during the religious part of the ceremony?
    Duck for cover from the impending lightning?

    I'm not Catholic yet the majority of my friends are and at the Catholic weddings I've been to, I sit, stand, kneel, or do whatever else the rest of the guests are doing. Of course, I am an Episcopalian which is probably the closest you can get to being a Catholic without actually caring about the Pope (In the words of Robin Williams, it's "Catholicism light").

    The only time it gets awkward for me at a Catholic wedding is if there is communion and I have to let the Catholics climb out of the pew and try to make it past me.
    "Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost." - 1980 Republican presidential candidate Ronald Reagan

  21. #21
    Cyburbian Bubba's avatar
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    I was raised Episcopalian, and my wife was raised Catholic. We ended up having a Catholic ceremony (no communion)...pretty much because that would be the only way her grandfather would attend. The vast majority of guests were Protestant - most seemed to just go with the flow. My eleventy billion Southern Baptist relatives looked a little confused, though.

    Off-topic:
    Quote Originally posted by WSU MUP Student View post
    Of course, I am an Episcopalian which is probably the closest you can get to being a Catholic without actually caring about the Pope (In the words of Robin Williams, it's "Catholicism light").
    Catholicism Light - all the dogma, half the guilt.
    I found you a new motto from a sign hanging on their wall…"Drink coffee: do stupid things faster and with more energy"

  22. #22
    Cyburbian
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    Quote Originally posted by Mud Princess View post
    If you attend a Catholic wedding, and you're not Catholic, what are you supposed to do during the religious part of the ceremony? Sit, stand, kneel, and pray like everyone else? A couple of my husbands' co-workers have had religious ceremonies, and I always feel so out of place, even though I can't possibly be the only non-Catholic there.
    I move along with them, but don't take communion (if they do it), because I'm not holy enough to anyway!! I'd probably burst into flames. I kneel, sit, stand, pray, but don't do anything specifically Catholic...if they're saying one of those recitations, I don't follow along unless it's the Lord's prayer, which I know. I don't cross myself. Basically, I do what I'm comfortable with and ignore the rest. I always feel weird but if anyone notices and cares, who gives a rip?

    We're having a wedding in a church with the reception at the fellowship hall there...I don't want it to be terribly stuffy...but I don't want dancing and alcohol and all that crap either. I'm cheap. No offense to my guests. But I'm getting married. If I want to throw a party, I'll do that another time.

  23. #23
    Cyburbian cch's avatar
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    I guess I've been to between 10-12, mostly for freinds and my husband's cousins, including when I was a 3-year old flower girl for my aunt and uncle. My daughter is only 3, and she'll be going to her 3rd wedding next month (for husband's co-worker). All my cousins are younger, but they'll probably be getting hitched in the next 5 years or so, starting with my one cousin who has her date set for next summer.

    I consider myself lucky that I've never been asked to be a bridesmaid. I usually get stuck in charge of the guestbook, or transporting gifts, and things like that. But, at least I get to dress however I want, to do those things.

  24. #24
    Cyburbian TOFB's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ofos View post
    You need to cut the drummer off. They always run the tab up past the take.
    Hey don't poke fun at our drummer. He is an important cog in our wheel. We always know when the stage is level because he then drools out of both sides of his mouth.

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by TOFB View post
    Hey don't poke fun at our drummer. He is an important cog in our wheel. We always know when the stage is level because he then drools out of both sides of his mouth.
    And you know he's an optimist because he wears a pager!

    I've been in:
    flower girl (Kennedy assassination Saturday) for my dad's cousin
    Older sister (bridesmaid) her first

    Guest at:
    Some college BF's cousins (two? three??)
    Date of a contra dancer attending an event for a couple of modern western square dancers
    Bike club friends (at the rose garden in Columbus, OH)

    Attended:
    younger sis' #1
    younger sis #2 (the Ren Faire event
    younger sis #3 (the U-U rainbow cross-dressing event)
    Brother's only (furthest: Houston)
    Cousin's small December house party reception
    Perhaps ten casual "time for the wedding now" events piggybacked onto an existing contra dance (good way to do it, IMHO)

    Viewed:
    perhaps two-three every year I've been a caller of contra dances (since 1990)
    several during my 8 months in a city hall on the same floor as the court

    Brides, wearing your favorite color is fine, but I wouldn't wear orange on Labor Day. And having your pet guinea pigs act as ring bearers is certainly creative. If you have paid the big bucks to hire a live band, please let them play, and tell your sisters to not demand recorded disco music. (I am not making this up.)
    Grooms, it's fine to go find a bride from a foreign country, but it might help to explain what entertainment you've booked for your big event, and that she shouldn't wear tiny stiletto heels.

    There's more, some of it on etiquettehell dot com.

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