"Community Development, Maister speaking"
"Hey, are you the guy that sent me that letter saying I didn't shovel my sidewalk?"
"That would be me."
"I don't see why I should have to. The neighbors at (such and such address) didn't clear theirs!"
"Yes I know. I sent them the very same letter you got on the same day. The city ordinance requires everyone to clear their sidewalk within 24 hours of snow accumulation. You both have until Monday to get your sidewalks cleared."
[long pause as the hampsters get on their exercise wheel]
"Yeah, well this ain't right. I shouldn't have to do it cuz the neighbors ain't doing theirs."
"Sir, as I just indicated both you AND your neighbor received the same violation notice and are both required to clear your sidewalks."
"Well why should I have to do my sidewalk when neighbors don't have to."
"But they DO have to."
"Well they ain't been doin' it."
"Yes, I know. That's why I sent them the same notice you got."
"Don't patronize me! What you ain't explainin' to me is how come I gotta shovel my sidewalk when my neighbor ain't doing it."
"Sir, let's be clear about this. Both you and your neighbor failed to clear your sidewalk. Both you and your neighbor are required to do so under city ordinance. Both you and your neighbor received the same letter on the same date and are required to have both of your sidewalks cleared by Monday or you will both receive a ticket. No one is singling you out."
"You are one stupid SOB! Didn't you hear a godd*m thing I just said? I said my neighbor AIN'T CLEARING HIS SIDEWALK. So there's no way in H*ll I should have to do mine!"
Heck, let's turn this into a game. If the caller had not hung up what should the next line have been?