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Thread: The NEVERENDING Empty Nester Thread

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Doohickie's avatar
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    The NEVERENDING Empty Nester Thread

    I'm getting tired of the dirty looks y'all are giving me when I post in The NEVERENDING Raising Children thread, so fine, I give up. I will post here instead. If you are similarly unencumbered feel free to join in.

    Anyway, what I was going to remark was that we had a first last night. My son, who left for grad school last week (classes start next week) decided to come home last night unannounced and sleep here because he was celebrating a friend's birthday nearby. He figured he'd just crash on his bed after the party and drive home in the morning. Unbeknownst to him, my wife's cousin is here on business and my wife invited her to stay over at our house last night. She slept in my son's bed, so my son had to sleep on the couch. So I guess this marks the first time he wasn't exactly welcome at Mom & Dad's house.

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Plus JNA's avatar
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    Where does one having never prepared or maintained said nest compare to an empty nester ?
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  3. #3
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Does it make me a bad person if I admit part of me looks forward to being an empty nester?
    (now let's see who gets the dirty looks)
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

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    Unfrozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Does it make me a bad person if I admit part of me looks forward to being an empty nester?
    (now let's see who gets the dirty looks)
    No. It doesn't.

    I am eagerly anticipating it, but still have, conservatively, 16 more years till then.
    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    The ends can justify the means.

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Doohickie's avatar
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    It's a mixed bag, but not necessarily in the way you might think.

    Pluses to being an empty nester include lower food bills, more room in the fridge, one less person making a mess, etc.
    Minuses include no longer having an extra adult around. It sounds minor, but it's been nice not having to take a day off for service people to come to the house. If I need to be there, my son could let them in, get them started, and call me so I could come home and pay them or whatever. Similarly, the dogs weren't home alone nearly as much when my sons were home. I could take my wife out and there was still someone home. On our recent vacation, it was just me and the wife, and one of my sons was still home and watched over things. And believe it or not, there is actually some positive companionship between parents and adult kids. The place gets mighty quiet when they're gone.

  6. #6
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Doohickie View post
    It's a mixed bag, but not necessarily in the way you might think.

    Pluses to being an empty nester include lower food bills, more room in the fridge, one less person making a mess, etc.
    Minuses include no longer having an extra adult around. It sounds minor, but it's been nice not having to take a day off for service people to come to the house. If I need to be there, my son could let them in, get them started, and call me so I could come home and pay them or whatever. Similarly, the dogs weren't home alone nearly as much when my sons were home. I could take my wife out and there was still someone home. On our recent vacation, it was just me and the wife, and one of my sons was still home and watched over things. And believe it or not, there is actually some positive companionship between parents and adult kids. The place gets mighty quiet when they're gone.
    Yup. I was fast heading towards an empty nest, just me and Captain Kitty as RT was headed off to school in Philly and living in a dorm. Fast forward a few months and I find myself expecting Arabella, The Man moved in, and RT decided the away at school thing about the time Arabella was born and was home Fri-Sun every weekend. The four of us and Captain Kitty crammed into a 1 bedroom apartment

    We upgraded to a two bedroom apartment and now we are in a 3 bedroom house. RT jokes with The Man that she is NEVER leaving the house on a permanent basis. She will be gone from January to May next year on a semester abroad. I will miss her.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    I enjoy the short periods The Girl is away for camp in the summer, but not ready yet for longer times. T-minus 7 school years til college...
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  8. #8
    Cyburbian
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    I'm on the empty nest waiting list.

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Doohickie's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kjel View post
    RT jokes with The Man that she is NEVER leaving the house on a permanent basis. She will be gone from January to May next year on a semester abroad. I will miss her.
    My oldest son went away to college in Iowa, dropped out after a year, moved back for a few years, left to move in with his aunt in Albany (she got him a job), got is own place up there, moved back here after a year, got his pharmacy tech cert worked for another year or so, then finally moved out. For good? Who knows. This time his moving out was purely his idea and not something he got pushed into, so yeah, maybe for good.

    The younger boy is more like RT - away at college during the school year, but home for the summers. He got his undergrad degree in December and after a brief, fruitless and not particularly ambitious job search decided on grad school starting this week. He got some aid plus a job at Target to pay for it.

    As for your RT and the semester abroad - that is an awesome opportunity and something she should enjoy. My younger boy got two trips his junior year, to China and Italy. Neither was very long, but it gave him some great experience. I have a niece that spent a semester all around Europe - Germany, Poland, Italy, France. She loved it.

  10. #10
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Doohickie View post
    As for your RT and the semester abroad - that is an awesome opportunity and something she should enjoy. My younger boy got two trips his junior year, to China and Italy. Neither was very long, but it gave him some great experience. I have a niece that spent a semester all around Europe - Germany, Poland, Italy, France. She loved it.
    I was mostly a single mom while raising her. In 2008, I was selected to participate in Ball State University's CapAsia program. That year it had Fulbright status. It was such an incredible opportunity that I didn't want to turn it down and the lead professor allowed me to bring RT, who was a high school freshman at the time, for just the cost of airfare and I home schooled her for the time she was out of the high school. The professor that organizes the program invited her to apply for the upcoming installment. I am hoping that it will get Fulbright status again as they are going to Myanmar, Bhutan and Jaipur, India.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  11. #11
    Cyburbian Doohickie's avatar
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    Dang. Sounds awesome.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian RandomPlanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by JNA View post
    Where does one having never prepared or maintained said nest compare to an empty nester ?
    I like to think I am in the pre-nest period of my life.
    How do I know you are who you think you are?

  13. #13
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Doohickie View post
    I'm getting tired of the dirty looks y'all are giving me when I post in The NEVERENDING Raising Children thread, so fine, I give up. I will post here instead. If you are similarly unencumbered feel free to join in.

    Anyway, what I was going to remark was that we had a first last night. My son, who left for grad school last week (classes start next week) decided to come home last night unannounced and sleep here because he was celebrating a friend's birthday nearby. He figured he'd just crash on his bed after the party and drive home in the morning. Unbeknownst to him, my wife's cousin is here on business and my wife invited her to stay over at our house last night. She slept in my son's bed, so my son had to sleep on the couch. So I guess this marks the first time he wasn't exactly welcome at Mom & Dad's house.
    That could have gotten shocking if he came home late at night after having several beverages.

    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Does it make me a bad person if I admit part of me looks forward to being an empty nester?
    (now let's see who gets the dirty looks)
    My youngest is 10 1/2 months... and I am looking forward to it. I will enjoy the time that they are here, put plan for the time that they are gone.


    I have meet several empty nesters who have sold the family home, live in very small urban apartments, and spend most of their time traveling. Personally, I think that sounds like a wonderful idea.
    "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. Time makes more converts than reason." - Thomas Paine Common Sense.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Doohickie's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis View post
    That could have gotten shocking if he came home late at night after having several beverages.
    It would have worked itself out. My wife's cousin is a lesbian and former martial arts champ. I pity da fool who messes with her.

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