Urban planning community

+ Reply to thread
Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: The interview you'd like to have...

  1. #1
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2005
    Location
    in a meeting
    Posts
    8,355

    The interview you'd like to have...

    A friend of mine is having an interview tomorrow for a job she now no longer wants because she got the skinny on the place - she called me about it and we got into absolute hysterics about what we would say in an interview:

    so, listen, I know where all the dead bodies are buried here, so let's not sugar coat this place, okay?
    and I leave on Fridays at noon, got it?
    no silly emails all day long about stupid little questions you could have answered yourself
    no checking in on me without telling me you're coming, okay?
    don't be asking me how my projects are going, I'll tell you, for you are on a need to know basis
    and that salary, please, honey, I got bills to pay, ya know what I mean? wth here...

    anything else you'd like to say if you could in an interview?

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
    Registered
    Jul 2003
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    7,061
    When my office door is shut, don't open it -- same rule I tell my kids about when the bedroom door is shut. You know what I mean?


    Now let's discuss benefits. I hate to drive (and don't own a car). Limo service to and from work is what I'm thinking.


    (that's all I got)

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Raf's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 2007
    Location
    America's Happiest City
    Posts
    4,818
    soooo...

    my weekly massage includes "happy" endings right?
    Men do dumb $hit... it is what they do to correct the problem that counts.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2005
    Location
    in a meeting
    Posts
    8,355
    I forgot one:

    oh, and, you guys not posting the position because you "want to target recruit?" Uh, that's code for: This position is a revolving door and we don't want to be advertising that fact
    I'm still laughing at this conversation, just hit me the right way I guess

  5. #5
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 2004
    Location
    on my 15 minute break
    Posts
    17,469
    Wipe that skeptical smirk off your face! Yes, I was appointed Director of the CIA exactly seven years after winning the Nobel Peace Prize and completing my second term as Governor of Indiana.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  6. #6
    Cyburbian The One's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Where Valley Fever Lives
    Posts
    6,912

    Hmmm.....

    I would catch on and agree to everything in the interview, then fire the person just after they failed the drug test.....and yes, caffeine is a drug!

    Caffeine is a bitter, white crystalline xanthine alkaloid that is a psychoactive stimulant drug
    Skilled Adoxographer

  7. #7
    Cyburbian safege's avatar
    Registered
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Golden Valley MN
    Posts
    712
    For 29 years I have been a custom photofinisher. That means I almost never sent out my first test on anything. The trash bin overflowed on a daily basis. When asked what I make, I answered "mistakes".

    What have you got for me?

    (true and complete)
    Psychotics are consistently inconsistent. The essence of sanity is to be inconsistently inconsistent.
    -Larry Wall

  8. #8
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2005
    Location
    in a meeting
    Posts
    8,355
    Quote Originally posted by The One View post
    I would catch on and agree to everything in the interview, then fire the person just after they failed the drug test.....and yes, caffeine is a drug!

    Caffeine is a bitter, white crystalline xanthine alkaloid that is a psychoactive stimulant drug
    Buzzkill!

    Hey, you have to have evil thoughts sometimes even if you never do them...

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Brocktoon's avatar
    Registered
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Promoting synergies...
    Posts
    3,558
    Now let me tell you a little about myself:

    I don't wear pants and only wear codpieces

    I have this uncontrollable urge to urinate in any coffee mug I see

    You don't have Internet filters on the server do you...they get in the way of my adult pron webcam business...don't worry I can still shoot my site in my cube

    I often drink to the point that I see imaginary animals (Penguins and Catfish in particular) that are either trying to seduce me or cause me great bodily harm and I will defend myself appropriately
    "If you don't like change, you're going to like irrelevance even less" General Eric Shinseki

  10. #10
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2005
    Location
    in a meeting
    Posts
    8,355

  11. #11
    Cyburbian Mud Princess's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Upstate
    Posts
    4,796
    Quote Originally posted by luckless pedestrian View post
    OMG, those are hilarious!!

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Plus
    Registered
    Jun 2003
    Location
    De Noc
    Posts
    17,482
    Quote Originally posted by luckless pedestrian View post
    and then I saw this today:
    [urlhttp://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/worklife/07/22/cb.you.said.what.interview/index.html[/url]
    What is your company's policy on Monday absences ?
    What about friday afternoons ?
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  13. #13
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
    Registered
    May 2004
    Location
    Snarkville
    Posts
    6,587
    Quote Originally posted by Mud Princess View post
    OMG, those are hilarious!!
    I agree. Those are great.

    What are your hobbies?

    I'm into chasing women. How you doing beautiful...

+ Reply to thread

More at Cyburbia

  1. Asking for an interview
    Career Development and Advice
    Replies: 7
    Last post: 29 Dec 2010, 12:43 PM
  2. Interview for job I may not want
    Career Development and Advice
    Replies: 13
    Last post: 10 Oct 2007, 3:12 PM
  3. Replies: 9
    Last post: 30 Jan 2006, 3:05 PM
  4. If you are going on an interview...
    Career Development and Advice
    Replies: 2
    Last post: 11 May 2005, 4:07 PM