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Thread: Statement of Purpose draft

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Kingmak's avatar
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    Statement of Purpose draft

    This is my fist draft, wrote it in about 20 minutes, left out program specific paragraphs. Thanks in advance...

    Migrating from Canada to the U.S. during my developing years, allowed me to quantify the physical and social differences between the two societies. Ever since, I've thought critically about the structural underpinnings of urban and social processes. My interests were only heigtened by my undergraduate studies in geography and sociology. Furthermore, I was awarded the opportunity to experience first-hand the local ramifications of policy decision-making while interning at my Congressperson's district office.

    During the first half of my undergraduate career, I lacked any particular interest within the field of geography, as I enjoyed all aspects equally. However, during my junior year, I took great interest in urban and regional planning, and more specifically, envrionmental policy and planning. After taking a course focused on natural resource conservation and policy, my research interests in water resources management were solidified. While tirelessly completing a research paper on western water resources and climate change, I recall myself stating that "this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life," and I stand firm on the notion that this is my purpose.

    Upon completion of my Masters degree, I may elect to continue my education and complete a Ph.D., in which case, I would pursue a career in higher-level education. If, however, I feel that further education is not appropriate at the given time, I plan to work for a firm or government entity that will allow me to demonstrate my expertise and promote sustainable resource use and planning.

    like I said before, there's still a couple more paragraphs to fit in, and some wording to change, but let me know what you think...

  2. #2
    I think you have a good start, and yes, you'll want to add a few paragraphs to this. Some things I noticed that you may want to address:

    -In the second paragraph the word interests shows up three times. Perhaps in a couple of those cases you could swap it out for a word like focus or concentration.

    -I know what you are getting at with your first sentence, that you essentially liked all aspects of geography equally, however the word lacked has a bit of a negative connotation. As soon as I read the word lacking I was thinking that you were going to mention that you lacked focus in your classes or something to that effect:

    This might work for you:

    "During the first half of my undergraduate career, I enjoyed all aspects of the field of geography equally, and thus did not immediately have a focus area."

    Feel free to take or leave my suggestions or recommendations. I think you have a pretty good start and that from here you just need to fill it out, and of course address why you specifically like University of ________.

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Kingmak's avatar
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    thanks for the suggestions

  4. #4
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    I was wondering if anybody has any thoughts on quoting books in the statement of purpose. My first draft, and all revisions after, have included two citations, one from Richard Florida's Rise of the Creative Class and another from a phiosophy book called Cosmopolitanism: Ethics in a World of Strangers. Is this unorthodox or frowned upon in any way?

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