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Thread: Happy Hanukkah 2009

  1. #1
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
    Aug 2005

    Happy Hanukkah 2009

    Have some latkes and sufganiyot for me!

    May Hanukkah Harry be good to you!
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  2. #2
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
    Mar 1996
    Upstate New York
    Blog entries
    One neat thing about moving back to Buffalo: Hanukkah product displays and big kosher sections in local supermarkets. Unlike Cleveland, though, there's no Judaica stores, so it's just Chinese menorahs (or, to be a pedant, hanukkias; a true menorah can only accommodate seven candles) in the supermarkets.

    A reminder to those with satellite radio: Sirius Channel 76 is all Hanukkah music!

    Quote Originally posted by Adam Sandler
    This is a song that uhh..
    There's a lot of Christmas songs out there and uhh..
    Not too many Chanukah songs.
    So uhh..
    I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who don't get to hear any Chanukah songs.
    Here we go..."

    Put on your yarmulke
    Here comes Chanukah
    So much funukah
    To celebrate Chanukah
    Chanukah is the festival of lights
    Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights

    When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree
    Here's a list of people who are Jewish just like you and me
    David Lee Roth lights the menorah
    So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah

    Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli
    Bowser from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzerelli
    Paul Newman's half Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half too
    Put them together, what a fine lookin' Jew

    You don't need "Deck The Halls" or "Jingle Bell Rock"
    'Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock- both Jewish

    Put on your yarmulke
    It's time for Chanukah
    The owner of the Seattle Supersonicahs
    Celebrates Chanukah

    O.J. Simpson, not a Jew
    But guess who is? Hall of famer Rod Carew- he converted
    We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby
    Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish- not too shabby

    Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is
    Well he's not, but guess who is
    All three Stooges
    So many Jews are in showbiz
    Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is

    Tell your friend Veronica
    It's time to celebrate Chanukah
    I hope I get a harmonicah
    Oh this lovely, lovely Chanukah
    So drink your gin and tonicah
    And smoke your marijuanikah
    If you really, really wannakah
    Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah
    Happy Chanukah
    Put on your yarmulke
    Its time for Chanukah
    So much funnaka
    To celebrate Chanukah

    Chanukah is the festival of lights
    Instead of one day of presents
    We get eight crazy nights

    When you feel like the only kid in town
    Without a Christmas tree
    Here's a new list of people who are Jewish
    Just like you and me

    Winona Ryder,
    Drinks Manischewitz wine
    Then spins a draydle with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein

    Guess who gives and receives
    Loads of Chanukah toys
    The girls from Veruca Salt and all three Beastie Boys

    Lenny Kravitz is half Jewish,
    Courtney Love is half too
    Put them together
    What a funky bad ass Jew

    We got Harvey Keitel
    And flash dancer Jennifer Beals
    Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch is Jewish
    And yes her boobs are real

    Put on your yarmulka
    Its time for Chanukah
    2 time Ocsar winning Dustin Hoffmanaka
    Celebrates Chanukah

    O.J. Simpson
    Still not a Jew
    But guess who is,
    The guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo

    Bob Dylan was born a Jew
    Then he wasn't
    But now he's back,
    Mary Tyler Moore's husband is Jewish
    'Cause we're pretty good in the sack.

    Guess who got bar-mitzvahed
    On the PGA tour
    No I'm not talking about Tiger Woods
    I'm talkin' about Mr. Happy Gilmore.

    So many Jews are in the show biz
    Bruce Springsteen isn't
    But my mother thinks he is.

    Tell the world-amanaka
    It's time for Chanukah
    It's not pronounced Ch-nakah
    The C is silent in Chanukah
    So get your hooked on phonica
    Get drunk in Tijuanaka
    If you really really wannaka
    Have a happy happy happy happy Chanukah!
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  3. #3
    Cyburbian wahday's avatar
    May 2005
    New Town
    There definitely is not the Judaica support system here in Albuquerque that I experienced back east. Where we used to live in the southern part of the city, I went looking for candles at this time of year at the local Albertson's and they ran me all over the store until finally, with a flourish of triumph, a guy presented me with a Catholic devotional candle (complete with an image of St. Stephen crushing a small, horned devil image with his foot - some have said this image is supposed to be a Jew!).

    Thanks, but that's not exactly what I had in mind...

    We're having another family over tonight. I've taken the latke cooking seriously this year with what I hope will be the ultimate recipe.

    This and some other funny Hanukkah stories in the New Yorker: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2009/...shouts_brenner

    The Visitor

    On a bitterly cold night on the outskirts of Vilkovishk, Velvel the Tailor and Gronam the Milkman were playing a friendly game of dreidel, when they heard a knock at the door. Surprised, Velvel opened the door to find an old man with a long gray beard shivering in the darkness. Quickly, Velvel brought him to the fire, and served him barley soup. When the color returned to the old man’s face, he noticed that the others were playing dreidel and asked if he might join them.

    What followed was the greatest exhibition of dreidel that the two men—or any men—had ever seen. In less than an hour, the old man had parlayed twelve kopeks into sixty rubles, until his companions had nothing left to gamble.

    Astonished, Velvel asked how it was possible for a man to have such luck.

    “My friends,” the old man replied, “it is not luck. For I am the Prophet Elijah, come to reward your generosity with innumerable heavenly blessings.”

    The men rejoiced, and they kissed Elijah’s hands and his cheeks. And the Prophet blessed them, and he blessed their houses and their animals; but somehow he neglected to give back the sixty rubles.

    In the course of the holiday, Elijah would repeat the scam twenty-three times.
    The purpose of life is a life of purpose

  4. #4
    Happy Hanukkah!

    When the Mormons co-opt your holiday songs, there may be problems.
    Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration.
    Abraham Lincoln

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Plus PlannerGirl's avatar
    Mar 2002
    I am so looking forward to tonight, a buffalo brisket is cooking with lots of African spices, sweet potato latkes with cinnamon, kosher wine (good stuff not that Manischewitz crap), home made apple sauce and snuggles by candle light with my hubby. Oh yes and how can I forget the hubster has made fresh challah bread *drool*

    Happy Hanukkah all
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin

    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"

  6. #6
    Cyburbian wahday's avatar
    May 2005
    New Town
    Quote Originally posted by Gedunker View post
    When the Mormons co-opt your holiday songs, there may be problems.
    Or when they baptize Jewish souls!
    The purpose of life is a life of purpose

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Plus
    May 2008
    North America

    To My Jewish Friends on the First Night...

  8. #8
    Cyburbian The One's avatar
    Mar 2004
    Where Valley Fever Lives
    Blog entries


    Quote Originally posted by Seana View post

    I agree.....Happy Hanukkah
    “The way of acquiescence leads to moral and spiritual suicide. The way of violence leads to bitterness in the survivors and brutality in the destroyers. But, the way of non-violence leads to redemption and the creation of the beloved community.”
    Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
    - See more at: http://www.thekingcenter.org/king-ph....r7W02j3S.dpuf

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Plus
    Jun 2003
    Adam Sandler 'Hanukkah Song' drowns out 'Dreidel Dreidel'

  10. #10
    Cyburbian rcgplanner's avatar
    Aug 2007
    Back in SE Texas
    Happy Hanukkah to all of my Jewish friends! The local mall here in tiny 'ol Peoria had a menorah on display last night, it was very nice to see.

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