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Thread: Just punch lines

  1. #1
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Just punch lines

    ...who else would put a waste disposal site next to an amusement park?! LOL!

  2. #2
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    quoting Steve Martin

    I said socket not sprocket






    (oh, this isn't the Plumber's convention?)

  3. #3

    What are those?

    Trees? I don't like trees. I like gravel.

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    Musician jokes:

    Jewelry.

    He's drooling out both sides of his mouth.

    Pay him for the pizza.

    "Will the defendant please rise."

    The police.

    Who cares?!

    "I think I figured out who peed in your tuba!"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    A Facebook friend writes a music review column for the local paper. One day he started with musician jokes on his page, and a bunch of us quickly "cut to the chase."

  5. #5
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Veloise View post
    "I think I figured out who peed in your tuba!"
    HAHA! I remember that one!

    seriously un-pc:
    "Priest: you'd a missed him with the car if I hadn't opened the door."

  6. #6
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    1 for the money,
    2 for the show,
    3 to get ready,
    and 4 to go!
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Tide's avatar
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    Two Weeks

    No, It's just Ice Cream

    Would I! Would I!

    Two obese Pattys, Special Ross, Lester cheats picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus!

    There's no F in Way!
    @GigCityPlanner

  8. #8
    Cyburbian mgk920's avatar
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    "FIRE!!!!"

    Don't pay her.

    Mike

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Tom R's avatar
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    punch lines

    Somebody stole our tent.

    Two, just don't ask me how they got in there.

  10. #10
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    Blueberries!
    Children in the back seat can cause accidents - and vice versa.

  11. #11
    The Realtor™ told me I could.

  12. #12
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    How do you think I rang the doorbell?
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  13. #13
    Cyburbian SGB's avatar
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    It's a knick-knack, Paddywack. Give the frog a loan.
    All these years the people said he’s actin’ like a kid.
    He did not know he could not fly, so he did.
    - - Guy Clark, "The Cape"

  14. #14
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    Wrecked 'em? I damn near killed 'em!
    "Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost." - 1980 Republican presidential candidate Ronald Reagan

  15. #15
    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by WSU MUP Student View post
    Wrecked 'em? I damn near killed 'em!
    Damn. Beat me to it. Especially since I never actually knew the joke... just the punch line.
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

  16. #16
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    "Urinate... but if you had bigger boobs, you'd be a 10!"
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  17. #17
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Hink_Planner View post
    Damn. Beat me to it. Especially since I never actually knew the joke... just the punch line.
    Neither do I. I don't think there actually is an accompanying opening line.
    "Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost." - 1980 Republican presidential candidate Ronald Reagan

  18. #18
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Off-topic:
    gratuitous character padding
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  19. #19
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    "I go to Wisconsin, my girlfriend goes to Michigan."
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  20. #20
    Cyburbian DetroitPlanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by WSU MUP Student View post
    Neither do I. I don't think there actually is an accompanying opening line.
    I know the joke, it was based on current events about 20 years ago. NYC cops busting up an after hours club....
    We hope for better things; it will arise from the ashes - Fr Gabriel Richard 1805

  21. #21
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    "Why of course, it's the Lone Ranger! Rump-titty-rump-titty, rump, rump, rump."

    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  22. #22
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    "The cat" BLAM!
    _____

    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  23. #23
    Cyburbian
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    *Gunshot* "Okay, now what?"

  24. #24
    Cyburbian mgk920's avatar
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    "Hand over all of the money or he starts playing!"

    "DEATH by ooga-booga!"

    Mike

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    And then the priest said: It's supposed to say 'celebrate' not 'celebate'
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

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