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Thread: You as a "Carfax" report

  1. #1
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    You as a "Carfax" report

    Quote Originally posted by ursus View post
    Comfort me with an apple. Solace me with a flagon. For I am sick of love. Bible? Shakespeare? Bible I'm pretty sure. In either case, I'm sick of love. You know, it's too damn bad that you can't get like a "Carfax" report on people. I guess if you could human interaction would pretty much cease, huh? Oh well.
    Can you imagine what Carfax reports on people would read like - 'high mileage, mostly in-town. A 'rental' from 2001 - 2007. Divorce finalized 12/3/07'
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  2. #2
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Can you imagine what Carfax reports on people would read like - 'high mileage, mostly in-town. A 'rental' from 2001 - 2007. Divorce finalized 12/3/07'
    Mine would probably be: Steady and reliable. Bit of a slow starter in the morning. Good at slow to regular speeds but bad when revved up. Prone to flareups in the evenings. Several previous owners. Current owner has had him 12 years and is mostly happy with her acquisition.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  3. #3
    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Can you imagine what Carfax reports on people would read like - 'high mileage, mostly in-town. A 'rental' from 2001 - 2007. Divorce finalized 12/3/07'
    I see a pretty good split thread....

    Moderator note:
    Consider it done.
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

  4. #4
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Hink View post
    I see a pretty good split thread....

    Moderator note:
    Consider it done.
    Off-topic:
    As you can see, young apprentice, the dark side of modding carries with it great power. It is useless to resist its call. [maniacal laughter]...
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  5. #5
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    The ofos "Bodfax"

    • Antique compact model
    • HIgh mileage
    • Erratic maintenance at best, much deferred too long
    • Limited number of insurance claims
    • Runs smoothly but speed has been reduced significantly
    • With only one exception, all parts are original
    • OEM parts no longer available
    • Suspension is beginning to fail
    • Some parts have been lost
    • No significant fluid leaks
    • Top cover has thinned but no replacement is anticipated
    • Insulation has been added
    • Runs a little on warm side
    • Pressure check is normal
    • Low idle, sometimes runs a little unevenly
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Plus
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    De Noc
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    One owner - no shared owner's or mini's (subcompact copies)
    Has been registered in several states.
    Several long distance drives which added mileage.
    Several body and mechanical repairs but no structural damage.
    Occasional steering problems.
    Bad history of fuel intake and combustion ratios.

    from ofos
    Top cover has thinned but no replacement is anticipated
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Tide's avatar
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    Aging model, has been registered in several states.
    No water or fire damage, weak shocks.
    Has several smaller, newer models available.
    Does not like to go to the left.
    Requires 8 hours of good garage time a night, doesn't operate well after midnight.

    Disclaimer: I hadn't looked at JNAs post prior to writing mine.
    @GigCityPlanner

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Plus
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    AIB
    Quote Originally posted by Tide View post
    Requires 8 hours of good garage time a night, doesn't operate well after midnight.
    I like this one -

    Daily limited time of operation now 6 am to 10 pm.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Rygor's avatar
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    Where the Wild Things Are
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    Moderate age but very well cared for and runs just as good as new
    Runs strong, very fast!
    No fluid leaks (at least not of the accidental variety)
    Occasional gas leaks (when given Mexican fuel)
    Only two owners
    Has been registered in 3 states
    Hardly any rust despite having been exposed to Midwest winters for majority of life
    Mostly garage kept
    Tolerant of heat and cold
    All original parts
    "When life gives you lemons, just say 'No thanks'." - Henry Rollins

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