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Thread: Just punch lines

  1. #26
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    "No, he thinks he's Arnold Palmer."

    "he would be a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis"
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  2. #27
    Cyburbian Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by mgk920 View post
    "DEATH by ooga-booga!"
    Actually, I think the last line of that bit is, "First, we ooga-booga!" because the second guy selected death.
    Annoyingly insensitive

  3. #28
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    That's ONE......
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  4. #29
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    Oh no I didn't have sex with a Kansas cowboy, I saw the size of the condom he keeps in his back pocket...
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  5. #30
    Cyburbian
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    no Tonto, I said POSSE

  6. #31
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    A Few More.....

    "First base."
    _____

    "Art."
    _____

    "Skip."
    _____

    "Matt."
    _____

    "Bob".
    _____

    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  7. #32
    Cyburbian
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    Quote Originally posted by Bear Up North View post
    "First base."
    _____

    "Art."
    _____

    "Skip."
    _____

    "Matt."
    _____

    "Bob".
    _____

    Bear
    curt 'n' rod

  8. #33
    Cyburbian Otis's avatar
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    "What an idiot! Doesn't he know there's steelhead in this river?"

    Phil

    Bill

    You can smell the peanuts on its breath

  9. #34
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    More.....

    "Natalie Wood."
    _____

    "Hey, what's this button for?"
    _____

    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  10. #35
    Cyburbian Plus JNA's avatar
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    "Anything but a Canadian Club," replies the seal.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  11. #36
    Corn Burning Fool giff57's avatar
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    Can't you see he's f'n nuts?
    “As soon as public service ceases to be the chief business of the citizens, and they would rather serve with their money than with their persons, the State is not far from its fall”
    Jean-Jacques Rousseau

  12. #37
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    "You have a drink named Irwin?"
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  13. #38
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    "Actually, that's God. He likes to pretend that he's Woody Hayes."

  14. #39
    Cyburbian Plus JNA's avatar
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    Thar's what she said.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  15. #40
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    "So instead of saying, 'f--- you' I now say, 'that's nice.' "

  16. #41
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    "Marilyn Monroe and an airplane."

    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  17. #42
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    The epileptic cornhusker shucks between fits!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  18. #43
    Cyburbian Howard Roark's avatar
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    Arrggghh, its driving me nuts
    She has been a bad girl, she is like a chemical, though you try and stop it she is like a narcotic.

  19. #44
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    "What does she have that I don't have?"

    "Parkinsons."

  20. #45
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    "A confessional booth?" said the drunk. I was wondering why there wasn't any toilet paper!
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  21. #46
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    "Don't cry. The ether bunny will be back next year!"


    "Look at that S-car go!"
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  22. #47
    Cyburbian Coragus's avatar
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    "Fifty dollars, same as in town."

    Am I really the first one to think of that?
    The cookies are worth the drive

  23. #48
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    Ben Dover and C Howard Fields!

  24. #49
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    ".....but do they call me a 'bridge builder'? No."

    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  25. #50
    Cyburbian Tom R's avatar
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    Movie punch line

    (Joe E. Brown) "Nobody's perfect!"

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