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Thread: Monologs (AIB scenes)

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    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Monologs (AIB scenes)

    Bear’s scene discussion had me thinking about a particular type of scene that requires a phenomenal writer, amazing direction, terrific set design, and finally, an actor or actress that gets so consumed with the part, that the emotion become real with the words they project. The monolog is a literary idea that has become engrained in all forms of entertainment.

    What are some of the greatest monologs of all time?
    "The alternate domination of one faction over another, sharpened by the spirit of revenge, natural to party dissension, which in different ages and countries has perpetrated the most horrid enormities, is itself a frightful despotism." - George Washington

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    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    There's always the Gospel according to Quentin

    Quote Originally posted by Pulp Fiction
    Jules: You read the Bible?
    Ringo: Not regularly.
    Jules: There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17.

    "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
    I been sayin' that **** for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a mother****er before you popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some **** this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin': it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. .45 here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that **** ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin, Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd...

  3. #3
    moderator in moderation Suburb Repairman's avatar
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    Here's a few monologues I used during my high school theatre days... don't give me too much credit though--I had to look them up. The first and fourth ones I used for comedy auditions, while the middle two were for dark dramas and the last one is just a personal favorite. The Apocolypse Now was probably my best one, though I've always had a special place in my heart for the Animal House and Holy Grail monologues.

    Animal House

    Otter: The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests; we did. (winks) But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few sick, perverted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? (the other Deltas cheer; Otter addresses the Student Council President directly) I put it to you, Greg! Isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? (the Deltas cheer again) Well, you can do what you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you bad-mouth the United States of America! Gentlemen!
    (Otter packs his briefcase and leaves the room; the other Deltas follow, humming "The Star-Spangled Banner")

    Apocalypse Now

    Kurtz: I've seen the horror. Horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that, but you have no right to judge me . It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face, and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and mortal terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies t o be feared. They are truly enemies.
    I remember when I was with Special Forces--it seems a thousand centuries ago--we went into a camp to inoculate it. The children. We left the camp after we had inoculated the children for polio, and this old man came running after us, and he was crying. He couldn't see. We went there, and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile--a pile of little arms. And I remember...I...I...I cried, I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out, I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it, I never want to forget. And then I realized--like I was shot...like I was shot with a diamond...a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought, "My God, the genius of that, the genius, the will to do that." Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they could stand that--these were not monsters, these were men, trained cadres, these men who fought with their hearts, who have families, who have children, who are filled wi th love--that they had this strength, the strength to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men, then our troubles here would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral and at the same time were able to utilize their primordial i nstincts to kill without feeling, without passion, without judgment--without judgment. Because it's judgment that defeats us.
    I worry that my son might not understand what I've tried to be, and if I were to be killed, Willard, I would want someone to go to my home and tell my son everything. Everything I did, everything you saw, because there's nothing that I detest more than t he stench of lies. And if you understand me, Willard, you...you will do this for me.

    Devils Advocate

    John Milton: Eddie Barzoon! Eddie Barzoon! Ha! I nursed him through two divorces, a cocaine rehab, and a pregnant receptionist. God's creature, right? God's special creature? Ha! And I've warned him, Kevin, I've warned him every step of the way. Watching him bounce around like a f***ing game, like a wind-up toy! Like 250 pounds of self-serving greed on wheels! The next thousand years is right around the corner, Kevin, and Eddie Barzoon--take a good look. Because he's the poster child for the next millennium! These people, it's no mystery where they come from. You sharpen the human appetite to the point where it could split atoms with its desire, you build egos the size of cathedrals, fiberopticly connect the world to every-eager-impulse, grease even the dullest dreams with these dollar-green gold-played fantasies until every human becomes an aspiring emperor! Becomes his own God! Where can you go from there? And as for scrambling from one deal to the next, who's got his eye on the planet? As the air thickens, the water sours, even the bees honey takes on the metallic taste of radioactivity--and it just keeps coming! And it just keeps coming! Faster and faster! There's no chance to think, to prepare, it's `buy futures, sell futures' when there is no future!! We've got a runaway train, boy!! We've got a billion Eddie Barzoons all jogging into the future. Every one of them reading to fist-f*** God's ex-planet, lick their fingers clean as they reach out with their pristine cybernetic keyboards to total up their billable hours!! And then it hits home! It's a little late in the game to buy out now!! Your belly's too full, your d*** is sore, your eyes are bloodshot, and you're screaming for someone to help!! But guess what? There's no one there!! You're all alone, Eddie!! [mocking] You're God's special little creature!!
    Maybe it's true. Maybe God threw the dice once too often. Maybe He let us all down.

    Monty Python and the Holy Grail

    Brother: (reading from Book of Armaments): And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--
    Brother Maynard (Eric Idle): Skip a bit, Brother...
    Brother: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
    Brother Maynard: Amen.
    King Arthur (Graham Chapman): Right.

    Scent of a Woman

    Trask: Mr. Sims, you are a cover-up artist and you are a liar.
    Slade: But not a snitch!
    Trask: Excuse me?
    Slade: No, I don't think I will. This is such a crock of s***.
    Trask: Mr. Slade, you will watch your language. You are at the Baird School now, not a barracks. Mr. Sims, I will give you one final opportunity to speak up.
    Slade: Mr. Sims doesn't want it. He doesn't need to labeled, "...still worthy of being a 'Baird Man.'" What the hell is that? What is your motto here? "Boys, inform on your classmates, save your hide. Anything short of that we're gonna burn you at the stake?" Well, gentlemen. When the s*** hits the fan, some guys run and some guys stay. Here's Charlie--facing the fire, and there's George--hiding in big Daddy's pocket. And what are you doin'? You're gonna reward George, and destroy Charlie.
    Trask: Are you finished, Mr. Slade?
    Slade: No, I'm just gettin' warmed up. Now I don't know who went to this place--William Howard Taft, William Jennings Bryan, William Tell--whoever. Their spirit is dead; if they ever had one, it's gone. You're building a rat ship here. A vessel for sea going snitches. And if you think you're preparing these minnows, for manhood you better think again. Because I say you are killing the very spirit this institution proclaims it instills. What a sham! What kind of show you guys puttin' on here today? I mean, the only class in this act is sittin' next to me. And I say, this boy's soul is intact. It's non-negotiable. You know how I know? Because someone here--I'm not gonna say who--offered to buy it. Only Charlie here wasn't selling.
    Trask: Sir, you are out of order!
    Slade: Out of order, I'll show you out of order! You don't know what out of order is, Mr.Trask! I'd show you but I'm too old, I'm too tired, and I'm too f***in' blind. If I were the man I was five years ago I'd take a flame-thrower to this place!! Out of order, who the hell do you think you're talking to? I've been around, you know? There was a time I could see. And I have seen, boys like these, younger than these, their arms torn out, their legs ripped off. But there is nothin' like the sight of an amputated spirit, there is no prosthetic for that. You think you're merely sending this splendid foot-soldier back home to Oregon with his tail between his legs, but I say that you are executing his soul! And why? Because he's not a Baird man. Baird men, you hurt this boy, you're going to be Baird Bums, the lot of ya. And Harry, Jimmy, Trent, wherever you are out there, **** you too.
    Trask: Stand down Mr. Slade!
    Slade: I'm not finished! Now as I came in here, I heard those words...cradle of leadership. Well, when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall. And it has fallen here, it has fallen! Makers of men, creators of leaders, be careful what kind of leaders you're producing here. I don't know if Charlie's silence here today is right or wrong; I'm no judge or jury. But I can tell you this: he won't sell anybody out to buy his future! And that my friends is called integrity, that's called courage. Now that's the stuff leaders should be made of. (pause) Now I have come to the crossroads in my life. I always knew what the right path was. Without exception, I knew. But I never took it, you know why? It was too damn hard. Now here's Charlie; he's come to the crossroads. He has chosen a path, it's the right path. It's a path made of principle, that leads to character. Let him continue on his journey. You hold this boy's future in your hands, committee! It's a valuable future. Believe me! Don't destroy...protect it...embrace it. It's gonna make you proud some day...I promise you.

    "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

    - Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)

  4. #4
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Suburb Repairman

    Apocalypse Now

    Kurtz: I've seen the horror. Horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. (SNIP). You have to have men who are moral and at the same time were able to utilize their primordial i nstincts to kill without feeling, without passion, without judgment--without judgment. Because it's judgment that defeats us.
    What an excellent and memorable monologue that was. I once saw in some 'making of' video about Apocalypse, Coppola was being interviewed about that scene and said that they had recorded dozens of hours worth of tape of Brando just improving these monologues where he spoke about whatever crazy/profound sh*t came to his mind. I often wonder if the actual monologue that made it to to the screen was one of these entirely improvised things or whether he had a little scripted help. If it was improv'ed, Brando's stock goes up 50 points in my book.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

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    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Hoosiers
    "Forget about the crowds, the size of the school, their fancy uniforms, and remember what got you here. Focus on the fundamentals that we've gone over time and time again. And most important, don't get caught up thinking about winning or losing this game. If you put your effort and concentration into playing to your potential, to be the best that you can be, I don't care what the scoreboard says at the end of the game. In my book, we're gonna be winners!"

    Wall Street
    The point is, ladies and gentleman, is that greed - for lack of a better word - is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms - greed for life, for money, for love, for knowledge - has marked the upward surge of mankind. And Greed - you mark my words - will not only save Teldar Paper but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA."

    A Few Good Men
    "You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know - that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall -- you need me on that wall. We use words like "honor," "code," "loyalty." We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand the post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!"

    Million Dollar Baby
    "I'm 32, Mr. Dunn, and I'm here celebrating the fact that I spent another year scraping dishes and waitressing which is what I've been doing since 13, and according to you, I'll be 37 before I can even throw a decent punch, which I have to admit, after working on this speed bag for a month may be the God's simple truth. Other truth is, my brother's in prison, my sister cheats on welfare by pretending one of her babies is still alive, my daddy's dead, and my momma weighs 312 pounds. If I was thinking straight, I'd go back home, find a used trailer, buy a deep fryer and some Oreos. Problem is, this is the only thing I ever felt good doing. If I'm too old for this, then I got nothing. That enough truth to suit you?"
    "The alternate domination of one faction over another, sharpened by the spirit of revenge, natural to party dissension, which in different ages and countries has perpetrated the most horrid enormities, is itself a frightful despotism." - George Washington

  6. #6
    Cyburbian statler's avatar
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    Let's just start with Annie Hall

    Alvy Singer: [addressing the camera] There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly. The... the other important joke, for me, is one that's usually attributed to Groucho Marx; but, I think it appears originally in Freud's "Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious," and it goes like this - I'm paraphrasing - um, "I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member." That's the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women.
    Alvy Singer: [narrating] After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I... I realized what a terrific person she was, and... and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I... I, I thought of that old joke, y'know, the, this... this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And, uh, the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and... but, uh, I guess we keep goin' through it because, uh, most of us... need the eggs.
    Alvy Singer: I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.
    "So, if a city has a personality, maybe it also has a soul. Maybe it dreams." -Gaiman
    ArchBoston

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    Cyburbian
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    And Justice for All
    Arthur Kirkland: You're out of order! You're out of order! The whole trial is out of order! They're out of order! That man, that sick, crazy, depraved man, raped and beat that woman there, and he'd like to do it again! It's just a show! It's a show! It's "Let's Make A Deal"! "Let's Make A Deal"! Hey Frank, you wanna "Make A Deal"? I got an insane judge who likes to beat the **** out of women! Whaddya wanna gimme Frank, 3 weeks probation?
    ....You, you sonofabitch, you! You're supposed to STAND for somethin'! You're supposed to protect people! But instead you rape and murder them!
    [dragged out of court by bailiffs]
    ....You killed McCullough! You killed him! Hold it! Hold it! I just completed my opening statement!
    Al Pacino seems to be good at these scenes

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    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    In honor of the Independence Day holiday, this is from MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON. Speaking is Jefferson Smith, played by James Stewart. He is in the 24th hour of a filibuster on the floor of the senate.

    Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
    written by Sidney Buchman & Lewis R. Foster



    Jefferson: "--We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Rights--that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, that whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such pr inciples and organizing its powers in such form as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness--" Now that's pretty swell, isn't it? I always get such a kick outta those parts of the Declaration--especially when I can read 'em out loud to somebody.
    You see, that's what I had in mind about camp--except those men said it a little better than I can. Now, you're not gonna have a country that makes these kind of rules work, if you haven't got men who've learned to tell human rights from a punch i n the nose. And funny thing about men--they start life being boys. That's why it seemed like a pretty good idea to take kids out of a crowded cities and stuffy basements for a few months a year--and build their bodies and minds for a man-sized job. Tho se boys'll be sitting at these desks some day. Yes--it seemed a pretty good idea--boys coming together--all nationalities and ways of living--finding out what makes different people tick the way they do. 'Cause I wouldn't give you a red cent for all your fine rules, without there was some plain everyday, common kindness under 'em--and a little looking-out for the next fella. Yes--pretty important, all that. Just happens to be blood and bone and sinew of this democracy that some great man handed down to the human race! That's all! But, of course, if you need to build a dam where a camp like that ought to be--to make some graft and pay off your political army or something--why, that's different!
    [Suddenly, he becomes very strong and passionate]
    No sir! If anybody here thinks I'm going back to those boys and say to 'em: "Forget it, fellas. Everything I've told you about the land you live in a lotta hooey. It isn't your country--it belongs to the James Taylors!" No, sir, anybody that thinks that has got another thing coming!
    [Jefferson slows down again, apologetically]
    I-I'm sorry to be coming back to that and--I'm sorry I have to stand here--it's pretty disrespectful to this honorable body. When I think--this was where Clay and Calhoun and Webster spoke--Webster stood right here by this desk--why, nobody like me ought to get in here, in the first place--an' I hate to go on trying your patience like this--but--well, I'm either dead right or I'm crazy!

    Bear
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    Cyburbian Luca's avatar
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    Casablanca

    Rick: Last night we said a great many things. You said I was to do the thinking for both of us. Well, I've done a lot of it since then, and it all adds up to one thing: you're getting on that plane with Victor where you belong.
    Ilsa: But, Richard, no, I... I...
    Rick: Now, you've got to listen to me! You have any idea what you'd have to look forward to if you stayed here? Nine chances out of ten, we'd both wind up in a concentration camp. Isn't that true, Louie?
    Captain Renault: I'm afraid Major Strasser would insist.
    Ilsa: You're saying this only to make me go.
    Rick: I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Victor. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.
    Ilsa: But what about us?
    Rick: We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.
    Ilsa: When I said I would never leave you.
    Rick: And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid.
    Life and death of great pattern languages

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    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    Kind of related.....

    Many of you probably don't know that Bob Newhart (of multiple TV programs fame) started in monolog comedy. He relased a comedy album in the early 1960's, titled "The Button-Downed Mind Of Bob Newhart". (I have the original vinyl. )

    His monologs were great. They included monologs about a driving instructor, Abe Lincoln working with Madison Avenue on his image, and a submarine captain.

    Driving Instructor: Oh now, Mrs. Webb, when I said turn left here I meant the next street.....not this man's yard. Oh, sorry sir.....creeping begonia's?.....oh, sorry......

    Sub captain: Yes, men, you know I am here to listen to your problems. As you know, my door is always open.....it was stolen, I'd like it back.....

    Madison Avenue suggesting to Abe: You know, sir, you should probably take in a show.
    _____

    All through his career in television he would still do telephone monologs as part of the shows he was involved in.

    Funny stuff.

    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  11. #11
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    This thread urgently requires a bump.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Tom R's avatar
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    monologues/routines

    Who's on first - Abbot and Costello
    http://www.phoenix5.org/humor/WhoOnFirst.html
    Last edited by Tom R; 21 May 2010 at 11:29 AM. Reason: dele smilie

  13. #13
    Cyburbian TexanOkie's avatar
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    Soliloquy from Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 1.

    I'm surprised this one hasn't been submitted yet. It's the famous "To be, or not to be..." segment. Perhaps Cyburbians aren't big on Shakespeare?

  14. #14
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by TexanOkie View post
    Perhaps Cyburbians aren't big on Shakespeare?
    That might appear to be the case on the surface.

  15. #15
    Cyburbian TexanOkie's avatar
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    Off-topic:
    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    That might appear to be the case on the surface.
    It appears from that thread they're not big on opera and ballet, either. Shame. I like all three. Although between all of them, I'd go to a symphony concert.

    Of course, I usually go to the opera or ballet for the music, not the story, acting, or dancing.

  16. #16
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by TexanOkie View post
    Off-topic:


    It appears from that thread they're not big on opera and ballet, either. Shame. I like all three. Although between all of them, I'd go to a symphony concert.

    Of course, I usually go to the opera or ballet for the music, not the story, acting, or dancing.
    Off-topic:
    Then again, some of those Cyburbians have a funny way of showing how much they dislike Shakespeare.


    http://www.cyburbia.org/forums/showt...=Shakespearian

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