Things You Would Never Hear Your Mom Say

[Bear Up North]

Simple directions for this thread: What are some of the "things you would never hear your Mom say"? This Bear will kick-off this fantasy excursion.....

"Your Dad and I are going on vacation. Go ahead and have a wild beer party when we are gone."
"That heavy metal song on the record player is kickin'! Turn it up!"
"Give your vegetables to the dog. Eat more pies and cakes."
"Here is the money for your Planning Degree classes."
"Bring Jenny over today and use the big bed in my room for your sex fun."
"Here's the keys to your Dad's car. See if you can make the turn on Shoreland Road while going 140 miles an hour."
"Go ahead and sleep with Mrs. Robinson."



Your turn. What say you?

Bear

[kalimotxo]

"I found this bag of marijuana in your brother's room. Let's smoke it all before he gets home!"

[ofos]

"RJ is such a nice boy, let's invite him to go on vacation with us."

[Maister]

Like hell you're youre going to medical school to be a doctor! If we've told you once we've told you a thousand times you're going to clown college! You know how much this means to your father!

[JNA]

Why are you not married yet ?
and
Why haven't you given me grandchildren ?

[Raf]

"son, it is okay to bring that flousey home from the bar you met last night and sneak her at the house before dawn."

[Otis]

"I really liked your first wife."
"We need another Kennedy."
"I'm glad you moved 3,000 miles away. We were seeing too much of you."

[Maister]

I really liked that girl you brought home last Saturday night - who knew the human body could accommodate so many tattoos! By the way, do you ever ride 'bareback', you know, feel all there is to feel? You should try it sometime.

[TexanOkie]

"I'm glad you moved 3,000 miles away. We were seeing too much of you."

This one FTW.

[Rygor]

My mom:

"I won't be late."
"Just got done changing the oil!"
"So I just started weightlifting..."
"I've decided to start looking for a job."

[illinoisplanner]

"I hope you get a job far away from home so we never see you again."
"I hate you."
"Could you please not stick around on the weekends and stay at your girlfriend's place as much as possible."
"I think it would be a good idea if we just celebrated Mother's Day and my birthday on just one day this year. I mean, after all, they fall so close to one another."
"I really love guns. Maybe you or your father could take me shooting some time."
"Don't bother buying your grandmother anything for Christmas, Mother's Day, or her birthday. I can take care of that for you."

"That heavy metal song on the record player is kickin'! Turn it up!"

Actually, my mom might turn the song up herself, especially if it's the Beatles, Stones, Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, or something like that.

[Coragus]

"I sure am glad to meet your boyfriend!"

Come to think of it, Mrs. Coragus probably wouldn't say that either!

[dandy_warhol]

"Know what I can do with a ping-pong ball?"

[Bear Up North]

"Know what I can do with a ping-pong ball?"

Best response!



Bear