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Thread: Things you always find™ at an elitist liberal's house

  1. #1
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Things you always find™ at an elitist liberal's house

    This is as close to the Fairness Doctrine as Cyburbia gets....

    - a well thumbed copy of the Utne Reader
    - a week's worth of empty (fair trade organically grown) coffee cups awaiting final disposal in a biodegradable bag

  2. #2
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    Radios all tuned exclusively to NPR, a wide selection of Burt's Bees and Tom's of Maine toiletries, the complete works of David Sedaris and Dave Eggers, subscriptions to The Atlantic and The New Yorker, and a collection of various Apple products.
    "Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost." - 1980 Republican presidential candidate Ronald Reagan

  3. #3
    Cyburbian
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    Tibetan prayer flags on the back deck, near the clothesline.
    I don't dream. I plan.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    a Buddha on the front porch (wait, that's me)
    a life size Obama cut out in the front hallway (uh)
    coffee table art books
    way too much colorless pottery

  5. #5
    Cyburbian CJC's avatar
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    A Coexist sticker on the front window (and bumper sticker on the Prius).

    Organic herb garden on the windowsill (with something advertising that it is an organic herb garden).

    Several reusable Whole Foods bags.

    Several Android cell phones (WSU MUP Student - amongst true liberal elitists, Apple crossed the line and grabbed the Evil Empire torch from Microsoft with the raiding of the Gizmodo guy's house).
    Two wrongs don't necessarily make a right, but three lefts do.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian mgk920's avatar
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    -Behind backyard -- *NO* neighbors - the house is built overlooking a pristine thing like a wetland, river valley, wilderness park and/or preserve or so forth, the kinds of places that they rail against the anyone not of their snooty status putting their houses.

    -In garage -- Two or more ultra-luxury Cadillac, Lincoln, Lexus, BMW, Land Rover, Volvo and similar make truck-sized sooves.

    -In kitchen -- EVERYTHING commercial-grade and all of the grocery bags with Whole Foods™ logos.

    -In front of a big-city elitist liberal's house -- No fire hydrant - it was removed at the elitist liberal's behest in order to create another parking space for himself.

    Mike
    Last edited by mgk920; 20 Jul 2010 at 2:14 PM.

  7. #7
    Cyburbian illinoisplanner's avatar
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    Weird collections of knick-knacks from foreign countries
    A framed photo of Barack Obama
    Several pairs of square-framed glasses
    Cats
    A stockpile of tea and coffee
    Apple products...laptop, iPod, iPad, iPhone, etc.
    "Life's a journey, not a destination"
    -Steven Tyler

  8. #8
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    On a related note, has anyone yet leafed through the "A Sensitive Liberal's Guide to Life: How to Banter with Your Barista, Hug Mindfully, and Relate to Friends Who Choose Kids Over Dogs"?
    Looks pretty funny.

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Tom R's avatar
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    libs

    A Volvo, Saab or Subaru Forester with a double kayak rack.

  10. #10
    Cyburbian MacheteJames's avatar
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    A Dutch-made cargo bicycle leaning up against the wall in the foyer, and a copy of the New York Times on the kitchen counter.

  11. #11
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    * No visible televisions, or a small, old CRT television in a family room or basement rec room.

    * Those radios tuned to NPR? Usually a high-end table radio, like a Tivoli One or Boston Acoustics Recepter.



    * Any Apple computer. The crunchier they are, the older it will be; a G4 or G5-based Mac if they're truly granola, Intel-based if they're of the Stuff White People Like persuasion.

    * A lush, natural English-style garden; something that looks a bit unmanicured and overgrown.



    * In Buffalo, a Peaceprints sign in the front yard.



    * In the fridge, an assortment of uncarbonated drinks with flavors like "serenity" and "invigorate".

    * A yoga mat.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  12. #12
    Cyburbian boiker's avatar
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    You will find organic shampoos and cleaners.
    Hardwood floors from local stock
    Beeswax candles from the local farmers market.
    Modern art and paintings purchased from local artists
    Wicker garbage can, wicker "to be composted" can, wicker recycle can
    A Schwinn roadmaster in the garage. -- maybe two.
    Dude, I'm cheesing so hard right now.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Mud Princess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by luckless pedestrian View post
    a Buddha on the front porch (wait, that's me)
    a life size Obama cut out in the front hallway (uh)
    coffee table art books
    way too much colorless pottery
    lol - my sister had a Buddha stolen right off her front porch, and she lives in a good neighborhood!

    Other items:

    - Various colorful textiles (cloth napkins, wall hangings, scarves)
    - Political buttons for all sorts of causes
    - Selection of herbal teas and juices

  14. #14
    Cyburbian wahday's avatar
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    A "war is not the Answer" sign out front

    Some bumper stickers to choose from:
    Question Authority
    Keep your Laws off my Body
    Peace is Patriotic
    Impeach Bush (out of date, but timeliness is not next to liberalness)
    Yes We Did!
    Something related to organic foods
    Something from the local NPR affiliate

    Subscriptions:
    The New Yorker
    Harper's
    Utne Reader
    New York Times Sunday Edition
    Dwell

    In the pantry:
    Extra soy milk
    Bulgar wheat
    Lentils
    Yeast flakes
    Granola
    Brown rice
    Organic, free range chicken stock
    Various Annie's products
    Veggie Booty
    Raw sugar
    The purpose of life is a life of purpose

  15. #15
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    Some of this describes a house down the street from me perfectly:

    Quote Originally posted by Plannerbabs View post
    Tibetan prayer flags on the back deck...
    They are actually on the front porch.

    Quote Originally posted by luckless pedestrian View post
    ...a life size Obama cut out in the front hallway...
    You can see him peeking out through one of the front windows by the door

    Quote Originally posted by Tom R View post
    A Volvo, Saab or Subaru Forester with a double kayak rack.
    Not just one Volvo, but two at this house: an older station wagon (with a bike rack) and a newer sedan that doesn't seem to get nearly as much use as the wagon.

    Quote Originally posted by Dan View post
    * A lush, natural English-style garden; something that looks a bit unmanicured and overgrown.

    They have turned their entire front yard into an something that looks nearly identical to that picture (only their yard is slightly larger)

    * In Buffalo, a Peaceprints sign in the front yard.
    No Peaceprints sign, but they do have a Peace Pole in the English garden, which seem to be pretty common in the liberal bastions here in metro-Detroit

    Quote Originally posted by wahday View post
    A "war is not the Answer" sign out front
    Not only do they have a "War is not the Answer" sign out front (secured to the porch railing), they also have the corresponding "No War, Know Peace" sign right next to it.


    The house is right on a corner and when my wife is trying to give directions to somebody coming over or something, she refers to it as "The granola house." When she tells people to turn left or right at the granola house, they always seem to automatically know which street she is talking about.
    "Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost." - 1980 Republican presidential candidate Ronald Reagan

  16. #16
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    dead babies?
    Children in the back seat can cause accidents - and vice versa.

  17. #17
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    Let the contradictions continue: (see Libertarian thread response)

    Quote Originally posted by WSU
    Radios all tuned exclusively to NPR, subscription to The Atlantic
    Radio tuned to NPR, played while readying myself...with West Wing re-runs on the TV in the living room
    Also, subscriptions to Dwell, Outside and Mother Earth News
    Quote Originally posted by illinoisplanner
    A stockpile of tea and coffee
    Quote Originally posted by Dan
    A yoga mat.
    Quote Originally posted by boiker
    Modern art and paintings purchased from local artists
    Wicker garbage can, wicker "to be composted" can, wicker recycle can
    I'll add:
    wheat germ in pantry
    brewer's yeast for topping popcorn

    democratic bumper stickers on beer fridge (which is filled with local micros)
    onions from Saturday farmers market
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  18. #18
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by imaplanner View post
    dead babies?
    Quite the contrary. Mommy culture and elitist liberal culture are starting to overlap. Remember the Denver neighborhood I described earlier? Very left-of-center.

    Bulky, expensive mil-spec strollers, like those made by Bugaboo and Stokke, are status symbols among the urban liberal elite. Push your kid in a Graco? That's child abuse.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  19. #19
    Cyburbian boiker's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Dan View post
    Quite the contrary. Mommy culture and elitist liberal culture are starting to overlap. Remember the Denver neighborhood I described earlier? Very left-of-center.

    Bulky, expensive mil-spec strollers, like those made by Bugaboo and Stokke, are status symbols among the urban liberal elite. Push your kid in a Graco? That's child abuse.
    http://www.maclarenbaby.com/

    These are *real* deal urban elite strollers. I got one from my good friend as a baby shower gift in 1999 (who has a neighbor who is a distributor). It's survived four kids and still operates better than the secondary Graco one we picked up 3 years ago.
    Dude, I'm cheesing so hard right now.

  20. #20
    Cyburbian Raf's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by boiker View post
    http://www.maclarenbaby.com/

    These are *real* deal urban elite strollers. I got one from my good friend as a baby shower gift in 1999 (who has a neighbor who is a distributor). It's survived four kids and still operates better than the secondary Graco one we picked up 3 years ago.
    Dude that was sooo 2008. Get with the times man! Our liberal elite house sports this ride for el dos:
    http://www.quinny.com/ot-en/strollers/buzz-3
    follow me on the twitter @rcplans

  21. #21
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    TexanOkie once asked me why liberals seem to be drawn to Subarus. The Uptight Seattleite has an answer.

    Quote Originally posted by Uptight Seattleite
    'm guessing you have some sort of animosity toward Japanese people and their cars. I'm not patting myself on the back here, but I do try to be open-minded about different cultures. If I go to an Asian restaurant, for example, I always use chopsticks. At Shilla, when I am eating my bi bim bop with chopsticks, I sometimes notice that some of my fellow diners are eating their bi bim bop with spoons. I smile at them and their spoons. My smile says, "Hey, great for you! Because you're branching out and trying something new, even if that might be a little uncomfortable for you. You might find that your experience of other cultures might be even more enriching if you try the chopsticks. Just a thought! Enjoy your meal!"

    Another example: One time, I went to an African-American church. I must have been the only white person there. I smiled at all the African Americans to show them how much I appreciate their vibrant culture. My smile also showed them that, even though I am a white American and they may have had negative experiences with white people in the past, I wasn't like that. I think they really appreciated my attitude and that I had come to their little church to hear their vibrant singing and clapping and everything.

    I recommend that experience for everyone. We all need reminding that there's more than our own little white culture. And, again, I include myself, even though I may be someone who makes, shall we say, an above-average effort to be open-minded. Like with this African-American fellow at work. Very bright, very articulate. I like to kid him that one day he'll run the place. Be the boss of us all. Because I want him to know that I'd be OK with that. Subvert the dominant paradigm, that's what I say.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  22. #22
    Cyburbian biscuit's avatar
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    It's all true. The car, the kitchen, the reusable shopping bags, the pantry contents, the travel knick-knacks, the white pottery... The list goes on. Granted there is no Buddha, bumper stickers, or peace banner. But gosh, we even have elitist European mustard!

    I guess I'll just congratulate myself on being a liberal stereotype. Albeit, a pro-gun liberal stereotype.

  23. #23
    Cyburbian jmello's avatar
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    A rescued greyhound.

  24. #24
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by jmello View post
    A rescued greyhound.
    Oh, oh, you're going to hear from Salmissra now!
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  25. #25
    BANNED
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    sandals
    NAMBLA membership card
    picket signs
    tie-dyed T-shirts
    Christmas cards from abortion Doctors
    gay porn
    grow lights with pot plants under them

    Moderator note:
    For a two post "star", you've gotten off on the wrong foot. NAMBLA? Gay porn? I think you have an agenda that won't be tolerated here. Consider this your warning... - Mastiff

    Last edited by Mastiff; 28 Jul 2010 at 7:50 PM.

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