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Thread: Things you would never find in a conservatives house.

  1. #1
    BANNED
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    Things you would never find in a conservatives house.

    porno magazines and videos
    ouija boards and tarot cards
    tofu
    anal lube
    a rainbow flag
    Ted Kennedy's dead girlfriend in your goldfish pond
    a White House intern's blue dress with Bill Clinton's semen on it
    illegal Mexicans mowing the lawn and cleaning the pool
    a hybrid car

  2. #2
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    Damn... I only scored a 2 of 10.

    And for you who immediately think #1 and #4, go to Hades!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Duke Of Dystopia's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Mastiff View post
    Damn... I only scored a 2 of 10.

    And for you who immediately think #1 and #4, go to Hades!
    Where was your #10, because I only counted 9.

    Did you notice that of his 9 items, Starring_Emma Mentioned:

    Sex 4 times
    Gay sex twice
    Forign influence twice
    The ocult
    Rediculous statements regarding transportation
    Zombies, breaking an entering, murder, littering, and cruelty to animals (all in one act)

    He said "anal" he better go pray or something!

    I would have said something like:

    The complete unedited works of Karl Marx
    Pink Dress shirt
    On the Origin of Species by Charles Darwin
    I can't deliver UTOPIA, but I can create a HELL for you to LIVE in :)DoD:(

  4. #4
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Duke Of Dystopia View post
    Where was your #10, because I only counted 9.

    Did you notice that of his 9 items, Starring_Emma Mentioned:
    She won't get this... like she hasn't gotten anything else. If she really is a young person, she hasn't been brainwashed... they took it out for dry cleaning. Her positions are crystal clear, but her reasoning for them is non-existent.

    She's like a message board heavy bag. It's not a fight, you don't need any good moves, it's just exercise.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    Sarah Palin dart board
    I "heart" Obama sign
    VW micro-bus fueled by bio-fuel
    windchimes and dreamcatchers


    Ms. Emma; I think you're wrong in your original post, particularly with numbers 1, 4, 7 & 8. Just check with a few famous religious conservatives named Jerry F, Pat R., Jim B. to begin with.




    off-topic sort-of:
    In my Methodist sunday school classes and church services, I was always taught to beleive that Jesus taught us tolerance and compassion for our fellow man, not hatred and judgement.
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  6. #6
    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    Wow... we haven't had anyone like this around these parts for a long time... what a great surprise for a Friday....


    I will add -

    - Blue Collared Shirts
    - Social Security Checks
    - Compassion
    - Diversity


    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Plus PlannerGirl's avatar
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    I am guessing no "National Geographic" as there are those shameful free wheeling evil boobies in the photos.
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin

    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    PlannerGirl, just about spit my coffee...
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  9. #9
    Cyburbian TexanOkie's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Starring_Emma View post
    porno magazines and videos
    ouija boards and tarot cards
    tofu
    anal lube
    a rainbow flag
    Ted Kennedy's dead girlfriend in your goldfish pond
    a White House intern's blue dress with Bill Clinton's semen on it
    illegal Mexicans mowing the lawn and cleaning the pool
    a hybrid car
    Let me preface this by saying I am a strong conservative - perhaps one of the most conservative in these forums.

    1- Conservatives don't do the whole pron mag & video thing. However, they're much more likely to use it. It's just all done on the internet because of the anonymity, cheap/free access, and easy hiding capability.

    2- Conservatives may have tofu on hand on occasion for stir-fry nights at the family table.

    3- You're actually more likely to find illegal aliens doing the landscaping and cleaning the pool at a conservative's residence than a liberal's.

    4- Conservatives are embracing hybrid pickups really quick. It's not a car, and it's done to save money on gas, not to save the environment, but still...

  10. #10
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Queen B View post
    PlannerGirl, just about spit my coffee...
    Off-topic:
    OMG me too

  11. #11
    Cyburbian TexanOkie's avatar
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    Off-topic:
    Quote Originally posted by Planit View post
    In my Methodist sunday school classes and church services, I was always taught to beleive that Jesus taught us tolerance and compassion for our fellow man, not hatred and judgement.
    You are correct, sir. Except perhaps instead of "tolerance and compassion", forgiveness and compassion. You're spot on about the no hatred or judgement, though.

    For example (red = Jesus' words)
    "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." - Matthew 7:1-2
    "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." - Luke 6:37
    "You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things." - Romans 2:1
    Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?" - James 4:11-12
    And this is just a sampling...

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Duke Of Dystopia's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by TexanOkie View post
    ......
    4- Conservatives are embracing hybrid pickups really quick. It's not a car, and it's done to save money on gas, not to save the environment, but still...
    And THAT is the gist of so many arguments. Use selfishness to save the world, not wreck it. Take the subsidies away from big oil and stop subsidizing new pavement. Then watch what would happen.

    Wind power and solar suddenly are competitive with petroleum (not quite, but almost)
    smaller more dense housing
    less expensive cars
    more bike / ped trips
    more mass transit



    Back on topic now!

    OOO! OOH! Bus ticket stubs! Conservatives feel mass transit is useless!

    EEWWW! Ride mass transit with the unwashed masses?
    I can't deliver UTOPIA, but I can create a HELL for you to LIVE in :)DoD:(

  13. #13
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Is that an economic or social conservative?
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  14. #14
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    Things you would never find in a conservatives house.

    A science book
    Children in the back seat can cause accidents - and vice versa.

  15. #15
    Cyburbian rcgplanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by imaplanner View post
    Things you would never find in a conservatives house.

    A science book
    Bazinga! That about made me spit my coffee out.

  16. #16
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Moderator note:
    Okay guys, she's gone now and can't respond. I'm going to close this thread.

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