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Thread: Greeting card matters

  1. #1
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
    Feb 2004
    on my 15 minute break

    Greeting card matters

    When I returned home from work yesterday I found my wife agonizing over what to write in a birthday card she had purchased for a relative she cordially dislikes. My suggestion to simply not send one at all was met with an icy glare and eyerolling [sigh] 'that would send the wrong message to their kids' remark. Okay....there's a reason Mrs. Maister is in charge of all the Christmas cards, anniversary cards, birthday cards, graduation cards, sympathy cards, bar mitzvah cards or any other cards and not me. I guess this is not an uncommon state of affairs, as women tend to be somewhat more given to sentimentality than their male counterparts.

    Apparently choosing the card was something of a task too. Most cards' messages said things like "happy birthday to such a wonderful and special person" and she wanted no part of that, and so spent considerable time trying to find one that conveyed the essence of: here's your freakin' card, so I guess my obligation is now fulfilled. I had no idea so much thought went into the art of greeting cards. (can someone find us a youtube link of that Budweiser TRUE commercial that showed the girlfriend looking at dozens of cards and the boyfriend not even opening the card he buys his girlfriend and she says 'oh, it's perfect'?)

    My wife did, however, trust me enough not too long ago to find someone a sympathy card for a friend who lost a pet, and while shopping for it I discovered the impressively wide variety of greeting cards available; they have cards to cover a whole slew of scenarios. Yes, they actually make Columbus Day cards

    American Greeting, Hallmark and other companies mercilessly target the female market and they have entire lines of 'girlfriend, we have to get together over margaritas sometime and commiserate about men' type cards. I also saw another line of cards that was apparently targeted towards curmudgeonly old ladies.

    Are you the one who has been (probably self-)appointed to buy or send out all the cards for your household? Do you think a 'I hate your guts but here's your damned card' line would market well? What are some of the strangest greeting cards you've come across?

  2. #2
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
    Aug 2005
    These cards used to make me laugh so hard I cried: Unfortunate Valentines.

    Yep, I'm in charge of cards. Lately I've started the habit of buying cards with good intentions but never sending them.

  3. #3
    Cyburbian illinoisplanner's avatar
    May 2005
    Blog entries
    I buy all my own cards and have for several years. I know, it's weird a single male in his 20s never missing a birthday, Mothers Day, Fathers Day, anniversary, baptism, graduation, etc for all the members of his immediate family plus the grandmas.

    I've also been told I always find the perfect cards. And I really take my time and try to find the best one. I even shop at the Hallmark store itself because they generally have a better selection than Walgreens or the grocery stores.

    I actually stocked up on cards for the summer not too long ago since there are so many people I know with birthdays or special days in May, June, and July.
    "Life's a journey, not a destination"
    -Steven Tyler

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
    May 2004
    Grand Rapids, Michigan (Detroit ex-pat since 2004)
    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    These cards used to make me laugh so hard I cried: Unfortunate Valentines. ...
    There are more galleries of "unfortunate" cards:

    As the only member of my household with opposable thumbs and the means to go shopping...there are always cards that just read "happy [whatever] day" that will do the trick.

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Coragus's avatar
    May 2002
    Between here and there
    I've got a sis-in-law that I'd like to kick in the teeth. However, she and my brother live next door to my parents, so I like to play nice. Her birthday was in June. I found a card that said, "May you have all the happiness you deserve.

    I should have bought three copies for future use.
    What do you mean I can't plan? My SimCity has 390,269 people with a 99% happiness rating (1/23/2017)!

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
    Sep 1999
    400 miles from Orlando
    I miss the ('80's) days of revenge cards. You know, you send them, they have a return address from the county health dept. Maybe some of you are too young. Yeah, those were fun. "Hi, you've been identified as a carrier of "X, Y, Z".

    RJ buys the cards for his side of the family. Maybe a little late, but he buys and mails them.

  7. #7
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
    Dec 2005
    Wishing I were in Asia somewhere!
    Blog entries
    I rarely buy cards for anything these days. Some of you fine folks get a holiday card from me though.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  8. #8
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
    Jun 2005
    In my own little bubble
    I never know what to write in cards and i am always jealous of those people that can write something appropriate and witty so effortlessly!

    The last card i bought was one of those personalised cards that Hallmark does- was sent to the middle of australia to the bf for Valentines Day- apparently it was a lovely card
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

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