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Thread: Father in laws and the worthless no-account men that marry their precious little girls

  1. #1
    Cyburbian ursus's avatar
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    Father in laws and the worthless no-account men that marry their precious little girls

    Does any Father-In-Law ever really think the guy who married his daughter is any good at anything? Jeez.
    "...I would never try to tick Hink off. He kinda intimidates me. He's quite butch, you know." - Maister

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ursus View post
    Does any Father-In-Law ever really think the guy who married his daughter is any good at anything? Jeez.
    As Scooby Doo would say, "Ruh-roh!" What's up there? My brother's FIL loved him so much he gave him a $5 wallet the first year the bro and SIL were married. The man was an IBM exec.

    So I guess the answer to your question is "probably not".

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Salmissra's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ursus View post
    Does any Father-In-Law ever really think the guy who married his daughter is any good at anything? Jeez.
    Simple answer: no

    My dad thinks my hubby is good for talking sports. That's about it. Never mind that hubby has rewired the his computer's wireless network, dogsat (and we don't like the dog), moved heavy furniture, makes more $$$ than I do, and also helped him buy the right-for-him computer, cell phone, and camera.
    "We do not need any other Tutankhamun's tomb with all its treasures. We need context. We need understanding. We need knowledge of historical events to tie them together. We don't know much. Of course we know a lot, but it is context that's missing, not treasures." - Werner Herzog, in Archaeology, March/April 2011

  4. #4
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by SW MI Planner View post
    I decided that I shan't ever delete numbers from my phone. It's slightly embarrassing when receiving texts out of the blue from unknown numbers, and I respond saying "I'm great, miss you too! How are the kids?!" to some d-bag that I used to talk to for about a minute a year ago. Who I don't miss, and who has no children. WTF.

    *******************************

    It's really disgusting to me that grown adults who get paid pretty good money just do everything they can to NOT do their job. Really?!

    ******************************

    Thinks that the songs Love Like Crazy (Lee Brice) and Whatever You Like (T.I.) should be part of an emotional prenup to any relationship. The later not because I want/need anybody to buy crap for me, but just because I love that song and it makes me smile whenever I hear it

    *****************************

    Pretty sure I'm self consciously hardwired to self-destruct any possible relationship by being irritated by the smallest, most insignificant crap which then makes me second guess things.

    ********************************

    Pretty sad that mid-day I was thinking that I really could use a drink tonight. And it's only Monday

    *******************************

    Drinks after work leads to tons-o-random thoughts. In my defense, it's been awhile since posting
    Geez woman....we need to catch up over a few drinks and talk about that ND/MSU game.

    Quote Originally posted by ursus View post
    Does any Father-In-Law ever really think the guy who married his daughter is any good at anything? Jeez.
    If your wife loves you, it doesn't matter. Don't try to please anyone except your wife. Not that I'm an excerpt, except that I'm the complete opposite of my FIL.
    Last edited by Gedunker; 21 Sep 2010 at 8:15 AM. Reason: seq. posts
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

  5. #5
    Cyburbian SW MI Planner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by btrage View post
    Don't try to please anyone except your wife.
    I think every man on earth should be taught this lesson from an early age

    Quote Originally posted by btrage
    Geez woman....we need to catch up over a few drinks and talk about that ND/MSU game.
    Seriously, what a game! Are you going to Detroit for the conference? I'll be there Wed and Thur night so we should figure something out. Wonder who else is going?

    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess
    I think you just did 5 yrs worth of analysis in a few paragraphs.
    Yah, I've done well on not calling/texting after a few drinks...apparently need to work on staying off the computer

  6. #6
    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ursus View post
    Does any Father-In-Law ever really think the guy who married his daughter is any good at anything? Jeez.
    My FIL is pretty good at everything. He can fix anything. He can drive anything, etc. When my wife and I had our first kid, he said to me, "at least you can make babies". I never really had a bad relationship with him, but the "at least" part got me. Never really made a big deal of it, but I am sure he thinks I am not good at much... ahh well, he made a beautiful smart women who for some reason married me... gotta respect that.
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

  7. #7
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    nws answer!

    Quote Originally posted by ursus View post
    Does any Father-In-Law ever really think the guy who married his daughter is any good at anything? Jeez.
    My father regarded my husband - polite but not too close

    when my 17 yo daughter asked me why doesn't Dad like my boyfriend I said the bottom line is every time your father looks at your boyfriend all he can think of is this guy is doing my daughter - she didn't like that answer but that's what it is...

  8. #8
    Unfrozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
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    My FIL has no problems with me as far as I know. He is more mechanically inclined than me, but he knows that I am a better father than he was and a more emotionally stable personality.

    Plus, I helped create the only grandchildren, so far, so that goes a long way.
    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    The ends can justify the means.

  9. #9
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by mendelman View post
    Plus, I helped create the only grandchildren, so far, so that goes a long way.
    Ditto. And I plan to lord that over my FIL until the day he (or I) dies!



    (As I type this from my desk at work, my FIL is at my house repainting my deck. He's actually no better at these small home improvement jobs than I am, but because he's retired, he has a lot more time to do them and now that we have a grandchild there for him, he's been down to our house about 2 or 3 times a week since she was born, whereas before, if the in-laws stopped by once or twice every few months we were getting tired of them! On the other hand, my dad is 1,000x more mechanically inclined than my FIL or I yet getting him to commit to even lending a hand on a project around our house is like pulling teeth. And he and my mom have only stopped by to visit twice since we got the baby - of course, our child is just one grandchild out of 12 for them.)
    "Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost." - 1980 Republican presidential candidate Ronald Reagan

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    We love our son in law he puts up with our daughter. He takes care of our grandchildren. Can he do everything, no but neither can we.
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  11. #11
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Moderator note:
    split from RTDNTOTO


    I learned later that my FIL actively lobbied against me behind the scenes and tried to talk her out of it. Said 'mark my words, if you marry that guy you'll be divorced inside of 5 years'. That was 17 years ago.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian TexanOkie's avatar
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    My father-in-law has a higher opinion of me than I think is merited. Of course, my wife's family has a long history of poverty and legal struggles, and I think a combination of my wife going to college and marrying another college grad, and getting away from local pressures, has kind of instilled a hope that my wife and I will be the vindication for his sacrifices throughout life, since most of my wife's siblings either have no ambition or have made serious errors in judgment and are only now starting to mature into actual adults (and my wife is the youngest of 5, by a minimum of 7 years to the others).

    My wife has always felt pressured to perform and be successful for her family, and some of that pressure has been placed on me as well. When I expressed intent to apply to law school, my FIL asked if I was going to be President one day (to which I replied, "Not if I can help it - I'm not that much of a glutton for punishment"). That's a mild example, but it's somewhat indicative of his higher expectations and faith in me than I have in myself. I can't imagine how my wife feels...

  13. #13
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    My FIL was skeptical of me because I was several years older than his daughter and had been previously divorced. That was exactly his situation when he married her mother and they had also gotten divorced. I don't know if he changed his mind after our wedding because he died four months later. I hope he did because we've been married for 28 years now.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    My FIL is great. However, another relative still calls his son in law "The Bum" after over 30 years of marriage to his daughter.

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    Cyburbian TOFB's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by luckless pedestrian View post
    when my 17 yo daughter asked me why doesn't Dad like my boyfriend I said the bottom line is every time your father looks at your boyfriend all he can think of is this guy is doing my daughter - she didn't like that answer but that's what it is...

    nail on the head . . .

  16. #16
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    My dad is always complaining about my sister's husband (which is weird because my BIL is also my best friend, even prior to him getting with my sister).

    My dad retired about 2 years before my sis and BIL got married. So when they bought a fixer upper, my dad pretty much redid their entire house.

    They sold a few years back and built new, and my dad has continued do work at their new house. He's always complaining that my BIL is lazy and doesn't know what he's doing, even regarding things like mowing the lawn, yet can't stop "helping" them do things.

    It's also complicated because my parents are the de facto babysitters of my two nephews and niece.

    Basically, my parents and my sisters family are joined at the hip. So every little fault that my BIL may have, my dad has to point it out. It gets rather annoying when I'm visiting home.
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

  17. #17
    Cyburbian ursus's avatar
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    My FIL is being considered as an appointment to the Planning Commission in his town. You'd think maybe on THIS topic I would have the "high ground". Nope. I just won't be as good a planner as HIS staff is.... Oh well.

    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Moderator note:
    split from RTDNTOTO


    I learned later that my FIL actively lobbied against me behind the scenes and tried to talk her out of it. Said 'mark my words, if you marry that guy you'll be divorced inside of 5 years'. That was 17 years ago.
    That is so harsh. I know it's been 17 years but - do you, like, need a hug?
    Last edited by Gedunker; 21 Sep 2010 at 1:46 PM. Reason: seq. posts
    "...I would never try to tick Hink off. He kinda intimidates me. He's quite butch, you know." - Maister

  18. #18
    Cyburbian
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    My dad didn't like my husband. Sadly, my dad died a couple of years after we got married.

    The rest of my family didn't like him, either, but accepted him because I loved him. Nice of them, but as it turned out, they were right about him.

  19. #19
    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kms View post
    but as it turned out, they were right about him.
    I am hoping this isn't the case for me I strive to be a better SIL all the time. I just gotta keep the wife on my side.
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

  20. #20
    Cyburbian Otis's avatar
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    I think my FIL liked me pretty well. He was a mechanical engineer who could fix anything, make anything, and invent anything. One thing I remember is that he was impressed whan I came up with a solution to an electrical control logic problem that had him stumped for days. I know my MIl loves me dearly.

    One of my BILs told me and my wife after our wedding that we would be divorced within 4 years. That was 22 years ago, and we're still married. To each other.

  21. #21
    moderator in moderation Suburb Repairman's avatar
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    My FIL took me to Sturgis... I don't know exactly what that means, but I figure that meant I was officially in his "fraternity of friends." He has let me ride his classic custom Harley Electra Glide in the past, and to my knowledge I'm the only non-blood relative to have done so. I won't say we're best friends, but we get along really well.

    My wife was "Daddy's Li'l Girl," and he had a hard time letting go of her even though he liked me. He is good at a lot of stuff that I'm not, but I'm good at a lot of stuff he isn't as well. I got his respect pretty early in the relationship when he decided that he wanted to build a hexagonal gazebo in their yard. He had the construction ability, but wasn't sure how to get the shape right for the peaked roof and get the sides the same length/angle. I've always been good at geometry and drafting, and was able to draw him a set of plans with cut lengths over the span of about a week.

    "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

    - Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)

  22. #22
    I think my in-laws were so eager to get rid of their daughter that, so long as I wasn't an axe-murderer, I'd do.

    I have a very good relationship with my father-in-law and he is definitely an "Alpha Male".
    Last edited by Gedunker; 21 Sep 2010 at 4:27 PM.

  23. #23
    maudit anglais
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    My FIL and I have had a somewhat complicated relationship as he was originally my boss and was definitely not happy when he found out his daughter and I had started dating each other (in secret). I've gone from being his buddy to persona non grata and back to being buddies again.

    Things were further complicated by the breakup of his marriage soon after Mrs. Tranplanner and I got married. There were other issues involved but I think I was in there somehow as my MIL was fully supportive of the relationship from the get-go while he was bitter and angry for a while (not without reason, I will admit).

  24. #24
    Cyburbian ursus's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Suburb Repairman View post
    My FIL took me to Sturgis... I don't know exactly what that means.
    It means you have potentially the most interesting, non-dysfunctional relationship of any FIL and SIL.

    My relationship with my FIL was better before my wife's grandpa died. He didn't think either of us were good enough for his daughter or grandaughter so there was a certain bond there. Now with him gone, I'm just the family doofus.
    "...I would never try to tick Hink off. He kinda intimidates me. He's quite butch, you know." - Maister

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Rygor's avatar
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    I actually get along VERY well with my father-in-law, and I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm just fine, too. Now, my mother-in-law on the other hand...
    "When life gives you lemons, just say 'No thanks'." - Henry Rollins

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