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Thread: Off to college

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    Off to college

    So here is a question that came up as our daughter was off to college.

    How many of you got to keep a room at your parents house when you went away to college?

    Or did you pack your things and off you went.
    There have to be some stories in this topic.

    I was a non-traditional student so I had a house of my own. So it was hardly an issue with me.
    Our daughter made a big deal about keeping a room but when she comes home she doesn't stay home ,she comes home and stays at her boyfriends. We don't understand keeping a shrine to her, as my husband calls it.

    What were your experiences???
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  2. #2
    Cyburbian
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    My youngest son moved into his sister's room as soon as she left for school. When she comes home, he moves into the room with my other son, and daughter sleeps in her brother's room.

    She didn't insist on my keeping her room, but she gets it back when she's home just because she's the only girl in the family. Well, I'm not sharing a room with her.

  3. #3
    Cyburbian TexanOkie's avatar
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    I moved out, took my stuff, and when I came home for Thanksgiving break, I got to stay in what used to be my room only with new paint, decor, furniture, etc. The only thing that was the same was the carpet. My mom had rebranded my room as the guest room.

    In the years since, my sister has/d taken over it, including keeping it even when she went off to school, and successfully moved the guest room to her old room, which I have to admit was about 3/4 the size of my old room. Anywho, she's getting married this Saturday and moving permanently to Oklahoma. I do not know what my mom plans for her now two empty rooms. I can imagine one will be some sort of office, especially since my mom's been going back to school a class or two at a time at the local commuter school, and the other will be the guest room.

  4. #4
    Cyburbian stroskey's avatar
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    When my sister went to college 6 years ahead of me we kept her room the same. When I went to college she was married with her own house so I got her room (even though I moved out) and they made my old room the guest room. When I graduated, got married, and got my own house they still kept my room in tact so my wife and I can visit. It still has my pictures on the walls and knick-knacks on the dressers.
    I burned down the church to atone for my transgressions.

  5. #5
    Cyburbian illinoisplanner's avatar
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    I am the last of 3 children. When I went away to college (if by "away", you mean 45 minutes down the road), I kept a room at home, even during the last three years when I had an apartment. Although, I often came home on the weekends and would utilize my room on the weekends. Same goes for the summer and winter breaks when I would move back home, especially since that was where my job was. It was nice not having to move all the stuff I don't use everyday like my entire book collection, map collection, CD collection, card collection, all of my clothes, and other items that can be a pain in the a$$ to move all the time when you are a transient college student. It was good planning having a room back at home because when I graduated, I had a place to go back to when the economy tanked. Even if I was able to find a job in the area right away, I had planned on living with my parents at least a year to try and build some income, pay off some debt, and afford a place of my own. My eldest brother did the same thing. Since my older brothers are both out of the house, my parents already had an empty bedroom which they now use as an office/storage room. I think they want to eventually make it more of a guest bedroom.

    Also, my parents actually like having me at home, since I am "the good son" and actually help them with stuff around the house.

    When my brothers went away to college, they had rooms back home as well. However, the three of us had to share 2 bedrooms. Growing up, it was typically the middle brother and myself in 1 room and the oldest had his own room, but when the oldest went off to college, I moved in to his room and he sort of had to share with me when he came back. He didn't like that at first, but it turned out to be a great arrangement. He also didn't come home nearly as much since he played on the baseball team at college.
    "Life's a journey, not a destination"
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  6. #6
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    We all kept our bedrooms through college since we stayed their during breaks and during the summer. I think it was a few year's post-college before our rooms were re-purposed.

    Honestly, I think I would be very hurt if my parents disassembled my room as soon as I left for school. Rightly or wrongly it would make me feel as if I was no longer considered part of the family. I wouldn't expect my parents to keep a "shrine" but it would make me feel as if I was still welcome to live there.

  7. #7
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    My room was left intact but contents started disappearing after I left for school. I came back home briefly after my sophomore year and used my old room. Shortly after that, they took early retirement, sold the house and moved so I couldn't come home again.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  8. #8
    I took everything I could fit in the back of a VW Beetle.
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  9. #9
    Cyburbian Raf's avatar
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    Got to keep my room to this day. When my wife and I go see my folks, i still shack up in my old bed from High School. It is still the same as i left it in 1999. Trophies and awards are all in the room, along with old posters featuring the SF Giants, 49ers, renderings i did in HS/College and some old photos. The only thing gone is my desk and i have an upgraded chair. When i am not there, it serves as a guest room and the closet has excess storage for jackets and other stuff.

    As for my brother's room, it has been re-appropriated as a guest room, then it got re-molded into my daughter's room full of princess stuff. Some of my bother's stuff lingers, but it is pretty much her room. The dresser and closet has my brother's stuff he keeps over, although with my son, i do not know what they will do with the room we called the "playroom" since it kept all of our toys and gaming systems. I am sure my son will like that room since we already have his SF giants sheets ready to go
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  10. #10
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    I was an older student when I went to college and never lived in a dorm - I always had an apartment and one with year-long leases at that (no September through May lease for me). But when I left home to join the Marines the summer after my senior year, I wasn't even out the door before my mom turned my bedroom into a sewing room!

    My wife, who has been out of college since 2001 and hasn't actually lived at her parents' house since 1997 still has a bedroom there with some of her stuff in it.
    "Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost." - 1980 Republican presidential candidate Ronald Reagan

  11. #11
    maudit anglais
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    My room was pretty much left as-was mainly because there wasn't much need for another guest room/craft room in the house. After second year I was also in a co-op program which meant I was alternating between being away at school and living at home (while working) every four months.

    I was finishing up at school when my parents moved away to a small town, thus ensuring me finally leaving the nest.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Otis's avatar
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    My sister, who was three years older than me, and I went to high school in Virginia. We kept a room for my sister the first three years after she went off to college in Maryland. I went to college in Los Angeles. The same time I started college my parents moved to San Diego. So I never had lived in the new house. But I still my room at their house. My sister did not. Then two years later they moved back to Virginia. My room disappeared at that point. So I've been using the guest room when I visit (over the last 39 years).

  13. #13
    Cyburbian DetroitPlanner's avatar
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    Considering that I went to schools that were only a few miles from the house I never, nor did my parents ever have these luxuries. We just had to put-up with each other all the time. My parents never gave me a dime for tuition, but they did keep a roof over my head. Heck I had to even kick in for High School tuition! Compared to most of my cohorts, I was on easy street.
    We hope for better things; it will arise from the ashes - Fr Gabriel Richard 1805

  14. #14
    Cyburbian beach_bum's avatar
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    My parents changed my room to an office for my Dad's new job working from home...they put in a Murphy Bed so that I could stay there when home, but it was functional for his use when I was not there. They even used my old comforter on the bed...made it sort of feel like mine
    "Never invest in any idea you can't illustrate with a crayon." ~Peter Lynch

  15. #15
    Cyburbian jsk1983's avatar
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    My room was kept for me while I was away for undergrad while my brothers continued sharing a bedroom. Lived at home for two years after college and still kept the room. It wasn't until after I moved to Chicago that my room was turned into my youngest brothers bedroom. It was a bit weird the first time I came home for Thanksgiving and all of a sudden my room which was mine for 23 years all of a sudden wasn't mine anymore.

  16. #16
    Unfrozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
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    When I left for college, I still had my room, though I took most of the stuff with me - cds, books, posters, etc. And brought the stuff back for the next summer since I was living at home that summer, but by the next summer my parents had moved to a new area and house and still had a room that was mine, but it was never officially "my" room since I only used it when visiting from school, because by then I was living full time in my college town.

    When my boys leave for college (presuming they actually do), I would be hesitant to immediately change their "room" right away. I probably won't do it until they are officially out of the nest, which in my experience with various family members can be anywhere between juinor year of college and/or 27. I hope for the former for my boys.
    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    The ends can justify the means.

  17. #17
    Cyburbian cng's avatar
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    I grew up with 5 siblings in a 3 bedroom house... so I was never really attached to my room. So, I'm of the opinion of not needing to keep a shrine for your daughter that has left for college. You can still keep a bed and desk for when she visits, but I would take the liberty of redocorating and reorganizing the room to your liking.

  18. #18
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    Our youngest has made it clear that we will keep a room for her, "because she is our favorite". She is the most helpful.

    I just didn't know how others have done it. Sounds varied and personal like life its self. I was out on my own when I was 16, my husband since he was 17 so we had nothing to rely on from experience.

    We are not paying their way to school. My thought is that instead of throwing money at them now we can slip them money when they start to pay it off. But I am not going to do for one and not the others. My daughter has paid for all of it herself.
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  19. #19
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    I was married and had a kid when I went to college That said, it's an interesting conundrum since RT will be going to college next year. Depending on where she ends up going to school will determine how much of a room she will have. If she goes to school in NYC then she will live at home and commute. If she goes to Philadelphia then she will live on campus and have a part time space at home.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  20. #20
    My parents divorced my first semester in college and moved to different houses and/or towns. Interestingly, my dad has always reserved a room for me no matter what house him and my stepmom moved to.
    When did I go from Luke Skywalker to Obi-Wan Kenobi?

  21. #21
    Cyburbian Linda_D's avatar
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    I was one of 4 kids in a 3 BR house. The only reason I got my own room was because I was the only girl. I was also the oldest, and when I left for college, my stuff wasn't all packed in the car yet before one of my brothers moved in. Since I had my own apartment and my school was less than 50 miles away, the few times I stayed over, I slept on the sofa.

  22. #22
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Queen B View post
    How many of you got to keep a room at your parents house when you went away to college?
    A room back home was a must for holidays, summer vacation, and the like. Was I supposed to stay in a hotel when I visited home?
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  23. #23
    Cyburbian
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    My room was always "my" room through college. Stuff stayed there and it looked much the same on the day I graduated from college as it had on the day I graduated from high school.

    I'm now eight years out of college and it wasn't until the other week that I heard my mother say "your old room."

    That made me pause.

    I hadn't considered it "my" room as opposed to "my old room" for about five years now even though I always stay in it when visiting. But hearing my mother say those three words now means the break is clean.

    My parents now consider me fully independent! Not only financially but psychologically as well.

  24. #24
    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    I lost my room to being the guest room. When I came home I was a guest, so I stayed there. My parents painted, changed furniture, and made it more attractive. It helped me move out sooner I think. I never even once considered living at my parents house after college.
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

  25. #25
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    My parents kept my room exactly as it was when I went off to college.

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