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Thread: Do ya ever get the urge....

  1. #1
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Do ya ever get the urge....

    ...to walk into a Whole Foods and ask the clerk which aisle the pork rinds are in?
    ...to bring a Harlequin romance novel as the book you chose to discuss at the Book Club meeting?
    ...to show up to a Revival and ask questions like "didn't Adam and Eve's kids have incestuous relationships?"

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Duke Of Dystopia's avatar
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    ... Talk to the Later Day Saints Missionary!

    Continually Insist throughout the conversation he go to College and then to get their masters degree in theology.

    Make sure you bring up the fact that X-mass is NOT a christian holiday. Describe the icons used during the year and their pagan origins including alternate names like "Yule".

    Provide the young LDS missionary with the point of view that the biblical god is schizophrenic and with bad parenting methods... unless he wanted us to run amok!

    Every time he makes a break for the door, you bring up another controversial biblical subject he will find hard not to respond and discuss.

    You are so successful, no LDS people EVER come back to talk to you!
    I can't deliver UTOPIA, but I can create a HELL for you to LIVE in :)DoD:(

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Duke Of Dystopia View post
    ... Talk to the Later Day Saints Missionary!

    You are so successful, no LDS people EVER come back to talk to you!


    Offer them a beer repeatedly while they "tell you the story"
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  4. #4
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    ...to smack people upside the head when they fail to grasp the purpose/intent of a thread?

  5. #5
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    ...to walk into a Whole Foods and ask the clerk which aisle the pork rinds are in?
    ...to bring a Harlequin romance novel as the book you chose to discuss at the Book Club meeting?
    ...to show up to a Revival and ask questions like "didn't Adam and Eve's kids have incestuous relationships?"
    No. I do not.
    Children in the back seat can cause accidents - and vice versa.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Plus
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    Wear slippers at work. Not any old slippers but RJ slippers.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  7. #7
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    I don't mess with the Mormons. They're usually genuinely nice people, and take rejection well.

    JWs, on the other hand ... I sic my friendly fizzy white dogs on them.

    How about telling someone selling Cutco "I'm sorry,. but I already cut up the bodies. Maybe later." (I love Cutco knives, but I hate the marketing.)
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Plus
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    Quote Originally posted by Dan View post
    How about telling someone selling Cutco "I'm sorry,. but I already cut up the bodies. Maybe later." (I love Cutco knives, but I hate the marketing.)
    Telling marketing/survey phone calls that you will answer their questions after they tell you how to clean up the blood. evil
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  9. #9
    Cyburbian illinoisplanner's avatar
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    ...to pick up the phone in your office and instead of the usual greeting, say "Talk to me" like Uncle Jesse on Full House.
    "Life's a journey, not a destination"
    -Steven Tyler

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Raf's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by illinoisplanner View post
    ...to pick up the phone in your office and instead of the usual greeting, say "Talk to me" like Uncle Jesse on Full House.
    I do it a lot. Then again, it is to internal people that the caller id shows or my wife who's number shows up on the id as well.
    Men do dumb $hit... it is what they do to correct the problem that counts.

  11. #11
    Cyburbian TerraSapient's avatar
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    ... sell everything you own and buy a nice sailboat and just sail around the world?
    ... eat an entire box of candy canes?
    ... ask the person idling at a red light next you for some grey poupon?

  12. #12
    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    ...to walk around naked
    ...to trip someone random
    ...to say to your council/trustees what you really think
    ...to eat ice cream, cookies, and cake all in one sitting
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

  13. #13
    Cyburbian TexanOkie's avatar
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    ... to install a bullhorn in your car and then yell obscenities at drivers who p*ss you off?

  14. #14
    Cyburbian illinoisplanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by TerraSapient View post
    ... ask the person idling at a red light next you for some grey poupon?
    Haha...yes. I think I've actually done it before when pulling up next to a friend. But not a total stranger.

    Quote Originally posted by Hink_Planner
    ...to eat ice cream, cookies, and cake all in one sitting
    Oh, I do this all the time at family parties and whatnot. Hey, if people went to the trouble of making all that dessert, you gotta at least have a little of everything, right?

    Quote Originally posted by TexanOkie
    ... to install a bullhorn in your car and then yell obscenities at drivers who p*ss you off?
    All the time. Sometimes I think they even hear me when I'm yelling from my own car with the windows up.
    "Life's a journey, not a destination"
    -Steven Tyler

  15. #15
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Do you ever get the urge to wear a silver unitard and run into, say, an insurance office and say with great urgency "what is the date?!!" and when they say 'um, December 9th' say "NO no, the YEAR. What YEAR am I in?"

  16. #16
    Cyburbian TerraSapient's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Do you ever get the urge to wear a silver unitard and run into, say, an insurance office and say with great urgency "what is the date?!!" and when they say 'um, December 9th' say "NO no, the YEAR. What YEAR am I in?"
    Post of the Day!!!

    - to take the broken dryer out of your apartment building and set it on the curbside?
    Occupy Your Brain!

  17. #17
    Cyburbian ursus's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Do you ever get the urge to wear a silver unitard and run into, say, an insurance office and say with great urgency "what is the date?!!" and when they say 'um, December 9th' say "NO no, the YEAR. What YEAR am I in?"
    Quote Originally posted by TerraSapient View post
    Post of the Day!!!
    Seconded!

    - to change your name and become a really kick-butt fry cook at a diner outside of Phoenix?
    "...I would never try to tick Hink off. He kinda intimidates me. He's quite butch, you know." - Maister

  18. #18
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    ...walk into the local mexican restaurant and yell "Immagracion! Donde esta las tarjedas verde?!"
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  19. #19
    Cyburbian dw914er's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Do you ever get the urge to wear a silver unitard and run into, say, an insurance office and say with great urgency "what is the date?!!" and when they say 'um, December 9th' say "NO no, the YEAR. What YEAR am I in?"
    Post of the day!


    Do you ever have the urge to say that Pepsi is unnacceptable after a waiter says, "I'm sorry; we don't have Coke. Is Pepsi okay?"

  20. #20
    Cyburbian Raf's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dw914er View post
    Post of the day!


    Do you ever have the urge to say that Pepsi is unnacceptable after a waiter says, "I'm sorry; we don't have Coke. Is Pepsi okay?"
    No but in Canada, a waiter asked if i wanted a "a coke ay?"

    I said no, "may have a coke 'b' please!"
    Men do dumb $hit... it is what they do to correct the problem that counts.

  21. #21
    Cyburbian Plus
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    Who hasn't had the urge to RJ ?
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  22. #22
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by JNA View post
    Wear slippers at work. Not any old slippers but RJ slippers.
    Where is the LIKE button here??
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  23. #23
    Cyburbian Plus Whose Yur Planner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Planit View post
    ...walk into the local mexican restaurant and yell "Immagracion! Donde esta las tarjedas verde?!"
    You, sir, are cruel-funny- but cruel. In my previous job, one of the building inspectors and I used to joke about doing that at certain job sites.
    When did I go from Luke Skywalker to Obi-Wan Kenobi?

  24. #24
    Cyburbian HomerJ's avatar
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    -Ever get the urge to get a little tipsy before cooking a dinner? It can be a little dangerous, but pretty fun too
    Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    ...to tell Maister he has the most aberrant "urges" on this forum?...

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