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Thread: Lawsuit ideas needed

  1. #1
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Lawsuit ideas needed

    Household funds are getting kinda low and the settlement payments stop next month for the 'emotional pain and suffering experienced from having my child see the Goofy mascot with his head off' lawsuit I won two years ago. Everybody's gotta pull their weight in this world and earn their daily bread, so to that end I need help coming up with a few more ideas for new lawsuits to put food on the table.

    Mind you, they don't have to be good enough to actually win, merely enough to make the prospect of expensive litigation so unappealing as to encourage a settlement. Thanks in advance.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  2. #2
    Cyburbian
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    You could attempt to sue a toilet seat manufacturer because sitting on their seat caused irreparable damage to your sciatic nerve, causing your leg to stay numb. You may be able to get several of chiropractors to go along with this idea.

    The outcome could be a federal investigation and all new, cushioned and contoured toilet seats for everyone!

  3. #3
    Cyburbian HomerJ's avatar
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    I have always figured if things get bad enough where plan A, B, C etc. haven't worked, I always have my last resort, that last ace in the hole no one would see comin'. I'll just head on down Califor-nee-way and jump in front of a car on the East Los Angeles interchange. If it kills me, thats that *dusts hands off*. If I survive, I sue 'em for everything they got and spend the rest of my days in a wheelchair accessible mansion.
    Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

  4. #4
    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    I think that you just need to follow Gloria Allred around. Go for the sex bat, or the Arnold lover angle.

    I am sure you will win it all.
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

  5. #5
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    There is a dude who goes around locally in a wheelchair and when he finds places that aren't ADA compliant he sues and AFAIK he has been doing pretty well for himself.
    Children in the back seat can cause accidents - and vice versa.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    Seems to me you might have a pretty good case against Family Radio for steering you wrong about the end of the world
    Anyone want to adopt a dog?

  7. #7
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Cardinal View post
    Seems to me you might have a pretty good case against Family Radio for steering you wrong about the end of the world
    Hmmmmm....can someone say 'class action'? problem with that is no one makes any money except the lawyers.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  8. #8
    Cyburbian mgk920's avatar
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    Drive in front of a train and then sue the railroad company for not making the crossing safe enough.

    This happens so often that on the advice of their legal department, Union Pacific now has nose cameras mounted on all of their locomotives (that's how that one familiar video clip that shows a tornado derailing a train was shot).

    Mike

  9. #9
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Come on down to Dallas and sue the city for anything. They cave on every lawsuit.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  10. #10
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    That reminds me: I was planning on suing Zach Galifianakis - because that whole "bearded, socially-inept, strange man-child" persona he is getting rich on is obviously stolen directly from me.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  11. #11
    moderator in moderation Suburb Repairman's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by imaplanner View post
    There is a dude who goes around locally in a wheelchair and when he finds places that aren't ADA compliant he sues and AFAIK he has been doing pretty well for himself.
    There was one of those in our area for a while as well. He was actually nailed on tax evasion not too long ago.

    "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

    - Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)

  12. #12
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    I hear Walmart has a lot of ladders lying around...I'm just saying.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Otis's avatar
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    Find something with a warning label on it, do whatever it says not to do, get hurt, and then sue them because the warning label wasn't big enough.

  14. #14
    Quote Originally posted by HomerJ9139 View post
    I have always figured if things get bad enough where plan A, B, C etc. haven't worked, I always have my last resort, that last ace in the hole no one would see comin'. I'll just head on down Califor-nee-way and jump in front of a car on the East Los Angeles interchange. If it kills me, thats that *dusts hands off*. If I survive, I sue 'em for everything they got and spend the rest of my days in a wheelchair accessible mansion.
    Why East Los Angeles?

  15. #15
    Cyburbian Plus JNA's avatar
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    Have a cold drink/eat some really hard that shouldn't be
    that then damages your teeth/nerves so you cant chew and/or develop speech problems.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  16. #16
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Otis View post
    Find something with a warning label on it, do whatever it says not to do, get hurt, and then sue them because the warning label wasn't big enough.
    Children in the back seat can cause accidents - and vice versa.

  17. #17
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Otis View post
    Find something with a warning label on it, do whatever it says not to do, get hurt, and then sue them because the warning label wasn't big enough.
    This is a great idea, but let me offer a twist - 1) buy your favorite over-the-counter medication, 2) do not follow the recommended dosage, and then 3) you sue the company, because the bottle had so many warnings on the bottle that you couldn't find the dosage instructions (a pet peeve of mine - screw all the warnings - I just want to know how I am supposed to use it, not misuse it)
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  18. #18
    moderator in moderation Suburb Repairman's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by otterpop View post
    This is a great idea, but let me offer a twist - 1) buy your favorite over-the-counter medication, 2) do not follow the recommended dosage, and then 3) you sue the company, because the bottle had so many warnings on the bottle that you couldn't find the dosage instructions (a pet peeve of mine - screw all the warnings - I just want to know how I am supposed to use it, not misuse it)
    Don't forget to complain about the size of the text making it impossible to read the label... maybe an ADA lawsuit?

    "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

    - Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)

  19. #19
    Zoning Lord Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Go this route....

    Lake Mary man sues Winn-Dixie over rose thorn prick

    SANFORD — A 41-year-old Lake Mary man is suing Winn-Dixie Stores Inc., saying it and a grower should pay him $15,000 because when he bought roses at a Lake Mary Winn-Dixie three months ago, a thorn pricked his hand.

    The suit, filed Monday, accuses Winn-Dixie and Passion Growers LLC, a Miami flower importer, of negligence.


    http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/...,6515781.story
    Annoyingly insensitive

  20. #20
    Cyburbian Otis's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by imaplanner View post
    If the picture hadn't been a red x, what would it have shown?

    BTW, I think we all have a class action lawsuit against TerraSapient for intentional infliction of emotional distress.

  21. #21
    Cyburbian ThePinkPlanner's avatar
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    Just yesterday some nitwit I went to school with posted on her facebook page (I know, I know, but its like a car wreck that I cant' stop watching) that she was going to sue her son's elementary school because when he fell off the monkey bars onto wood chips, he got a splinter that is now infected and she has no health insurance.

    When did they start putting wood chips under monkey bars anyway? I'm only in my 30s, and "in my day," if you fell off monkey bars you at least got a good case of asphalt road rash. Not some wussy splinter.

  22. #22
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ThePinkPlanner View post
    Just yesterday some nitwit I went to school with posted on her facebook page (I know, I know, but its like a car wreck that I cant' stop watching) that she was going to sue her son's elementary school because when he fell off the monkey bars onto wood chips, he got a splinter that is now infected and she has no health insurance.

    When did they start putting wood chips under monkey bars anyway? I'm only in my 30s, and "in my day," if you fell off monkey bars you at least got a good case of asphalt road rash. Not some wussy splinter.
    It was sand until some kitty pooped in it...

    My SIL had ger husband remove the sand in their playground area and replace it with wood chips. After a few wood chip splinter incidents over the course of 2 months, she had her husband take out the wod chips and put the sand back. This was no easy task and the area was about the size of a volleyball court (which it has now become since the boys got older).
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  23. #23
    Cyburbian TerraSapient's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Otis View post
    If the picture hadn't been a red x, what would it have shown?

    BTW, I think we all have a class action lawsuit against TerraSapient for intentional infliction of emotional distress.
    My attorney has advised me not to respond to this post.

  24. #24
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Otis View post
    If the picture hadn't been a red x, what would it have shown?

    BTW, I think we all have a class action lawsuit against TerraSapient for intentional infliction of emotional distress.
    I'll try again

    Children in the back seat can cause accidents - and vice versa.

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Otis's avatar
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    ^^^ I guess I really didn't want to know that. But it does add new dimension to the concept of "screwing."

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