Urban planning community

Poll results: How Honest are you?

Voters
21. You may not vote on this poll
  • White Lies - do it to make others comfortable

    7 33.33%
  • Polite - answers fine even when I am not

    14 66.67%
  • Embelisher - others call it ones-up-manship

    1 4.76%
  • Don't ask. Don't tell - Lying by ommission

    8 38.10%
  • That's my story and I am stickin to it.

    2 9.52%
  • I am running a ponzi scheme - Lying for my own benefit

    0 0%
  • I would go down for the "MAN" to prove my dedication to the company

    0 0%
  • Other

    0 0%
Multiple choice poll
+ Reply to thread
Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: Honestly, How Honest are you?

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 2003
    Location
    "Somewhere in the middle"
    Posts
    3,160

    Honestly, How Honest are you?

    The first thing I did in my job was check with the commissioners to see if they wanted me to lie or tell them the truth they opted for the truth. So I never gave it a thought and have always been pretty vocal with my opinion.
    They have recently moved my office and put me in a different department with a different boss. I don't like it at all. So the past few months when asked I have said no I don't like it much. I can see a train wreck coming because of it and when the train wrecks I will probably be to blame when it does.
    I got a very strong message yesterday that my response is not appreciated and I should keep it to myself.
    So as of today I am starting my "I just love my new office in the basement" campaign. It is that or bankruptcy because we can't do it on one income.

    Ya know, I am totally not a morning person and over the years I have taught myself to say Good Morning with a big smile.

    So I am actually someone that would "you don't really want to know" when someone asks me how I am. But I politely say fine.
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  2. #2
    Cyburbian ursus's avatar
    Registered
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Northern Utah
    Posts
    3,861
    Yeah, I've always personally felt honesty was overrated. Like that advice that if you stand up to a bully they'll back down because inside they're really scared. Maybe a couple of them, but some of them are just big and mean and will beat you senseless.

    I like to think I'm honest when it's important; God, taxes, fidelity in my marriage, etc., but we work in a somewhat predatory environment. We - manipulate, maybe, more than lie.
    "...I would never try to tick Hink off. He kinda intimidates me. He's quite butch, you know." - Maister

  3. #3
    OH....IO Hink's avatar
    Registered
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Hang on Sloopy...land
    Posts
    9,826
    I don't lie just to lie, but I find no reason to get people all worked up. If someone asks me about a topic that I don't want to talk about - I seem to agree more often then not so I don't have to have that conversation about how wrong they are.

    Convenient lies aren't lies. They are time savers
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

  4. #4
    Cyburbian mike gurnee's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 1998
    Location
    Greensburg, Kansas
    Posts
    2,954
    In conservative small town America, there is no choice but to follow Hink.

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Linda_D's avatar
    Registered
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Jamestown, New York
    Posts
    1,684
    Quote Originally posted by Hink_Planner View post
    I don't lie just to lie, but I find no reason to get people all worked up. If someone asks me about a topic that I don't want to talk about - I seem to agree more often then not so I don't have to have that conversation about how wrong they are.

    Convenient lies aren't lies. They are time savers
    Quote Originally posted by mike gurnee View post
    In conservative small town America, there is no choice but to follow Hink.
    I tend to agree. I save antagonizing arsehats by pointing out the problems with their thought processes (or lack thereof) for situations that are really, really important.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian HomerJ's avatar
    Registered
    Dec 2010
    Location
    I'm gettin' there
    Posts
    933
    As I have learned by so often playing the role of the "new guy", I've learned to choose my turn to speak carefully.

    Or as Hemmingway once said, "Always do sober what you said you'd do while drunk, that'll teach you to keep your mouth shut."
    Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 2005
    Location
    In a 480 square foot ex baseball nacho stand
    Posts
    7,131
    Tell the truth and voice your opinion (except when you have to tow the company line).

    Smile and wave boys, smile and wave.
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 2003
    Location
    "Somewhere in the middle"
    Posts
    3,160
    Quote Originally posted by HomerJ9139 View post
    As I have learned by so often playing the role of the "new guy", I've learned to choose my turn to speak carefully.

    Or as Hemmingway once said, "Always do sober what you said you'd do while drunk, that'll teach you to keep your mouth shut."
    That is interesting because I see it just the opposite. I think the new guy can get away with saying alot more than the old guy.
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  9. #9
    Cyburbian TerraSapient's avatar
    Registered
    Nov 2009
    Location
    The Glass City
    Posts
    2,610
    This is an interesting topic for discussion. Lately I have been acutely aware of how the amount of lying that is considered socially acceptable varies with different cultures. For example, Hawaii seems to have a culture of avoiding confrontation. I find myself "polite lying" or "lying by omission" out here in situations where I would have been honest on the mainland without hesitation. This has been a very difficult lesson for me to learn as I see certain situations as opportunities to improve circumstances just by simply talking openly and honestly about them. My eagerness to do so is not always greeted with open arms here and I am treated as though I am too pushy or forward—too "mainlandy". I find myself challenged to shelf my mainland customs in favor of the more quiet and nonconfrontational culture of these islands.

  10. #10
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
    Registered
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Down by Dun Ringill
    Posts
    5,929
    Blog entries
    6
    Well, when someone asked "How are you?" or how you like a new situation, let's face it - they can't handle the truth!

    They just want you to say "fine" then they can go on thinking everything is fine.

    There are times to speak the unvarnished truth - choose those well.

    There are times to tell them what they want to hear. It's for your own good.

    There are times to lie like a rug - "Of course, I love your mother, hun. One week? No, tell her to stay for two."
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  11. #11
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
    Registered
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Wishing I were in Asia somewhere!
    Posts
    9,752
    Blog entries
    5
    Quote Originally posted by otterpop View post
    Well, when someone asked "How are you?" or how you like a new situation, let's face it - they can't handle the truth!

    They just want you to say "fine" then they can go on thinking everything is fine.

    There are times to speak the unvarnished truth - choose those well.

    There are times to tell them what they want to hear. It's for your own good.

    There are times to lie like a rug - "Of course, I love your mother, hun. One week? No, tell her to stay for two."
    I follow your rationale. It works most of the time for me. I know that I am one of the most direct and blunt people you'd probably ever meet but I've learned to temper that over the years, especially in the workplace.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

+ Reply to thread

More at Cyburbia

  1. Replies: 21
    Last post: 14 Jan 2014, 9:57 PM
  2. Replies: 139
    Last post: 23 Aug 2011, 12:05 AM
  3. Finally An Honest Politician
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 14
    Last post: 21 Sep 2006, 2:45 PM
  4. Honest, it talked to me!
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 6
    Last post: 18 May 2006, 9:28 PM