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Thread: Horror stories about being a man in a woman's (not so professional) world.

  1. #1
    Cyburbian wahday's avatar
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    Horror stories about being a man in a woman's (not so professional) world.

    Yikes! For the last 7 years I have worked at places that were mostly women. At the last two jobs, I was/am the only man. People make the occassional joke about me being the requisite guy when heavy things need to be hauled or a contractor or other Mans Man needs a talking to, but the rest of time, its all professional. Women are generally so much better behaved.

    Men can be pretty appalling and it seems to increase with the number of males in the room. So not cool. So, to all the ladies, I apologize for all the numbnuts out there (that's my female boss's favorite term of endearment for incompetent guys).

    Now who's up for Hooters!?

    Note: FTR, I have never been to Hooters or any of the other venerable Breastaurants...
    Moderator note:
    Maister: moved from the horror stories about being a woman in a mans (not so professional) world thread. Sorry imaplanner, didn't mean to take your thread starting cred away.
    Last edited by Maister; 20 Jan 2012 at 9:16 AM.
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  2. #2
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    Horror stories about being a man in a woman's (not so professional) world.

    I didn't want to divert the other thread but it got me thinking.

    Men can be pretty bad, especially when you are talking about traditional male industries like construction and manufacturing. But I would venture to say that in professional office environments it seems to be the women that are less professional when they are the majority of the office (I may be wrong but this is just my experience).

    I have worked in some places where I was one of the only men around. I can say that women can be quite ill-behaved as well. I've been in situations where professional women openly discuss sexual issues and various other supposedly "off-limit" things. I've been asked to settle discussions between women on whose butt is bigger. Personally I don't have a problem with it because I tend not to be offended easily and I like being able to relate with co-workers as friends rather than strictly co-workers. But my experience has led me to believe that in general women often times are actually less professional in the workplace as far as talking about certain subjects.

    As far as horror stories, I will say that once at a staff meeting with approximately 10 women and two men, one woman starting crying for no apparent reason and said how much she loved everyone and then most of the other women started crying too - supposedly because it was a beautiful moment. Having been the recipient of behavior that would qualify as sexual harassment before, I can honestly say I would prefer to be harassed than to sit in a room with a bunch of crying women.

    Any of the men who have worked in offices populated by mostly women have any similar horror stories?
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  3. #3
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Well, even a woman, I have a story here: worked for a female PD (not my direct supervisor) who had numerous coerced affairs with underlings. Was found banging a married male employee on her desk on a weekend by her admin who came in to do some overtime work. Had an affair with her BFF's hubby (both worked for her). Her trail of sexual harrassment was legion. Finally fired when she was promoted (why, I don't know) to ass't county administrator and was caught banging the other (married) asst't county administrator. She wore skirts that barely covered her crotch. HR had to tell her that was wrong.

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    What I occassionally run into is the woman who has to "prove" she is an expert or that she is in charge by belittling, rejecting ideas/advice, or other abuses of power. I have a very low tolerance for these things, as I fear somebody will soon discover.
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  5. #5
    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    I would argue that some women I have worked with are dirtier and more inappropriate in their language and jokes, but men tend to seem to move the fantasy further with touching or awkward situations.

    I have worked with two people which I have witnessed who I would consider to have crossed the line to inappropriate . One was a guy, one was a woman. The guy always touched a female employee and bought her "treats". The lady continually joked about getting drunk and getting crazy. Then would ask if the guys wanted to go get drinks with her.

    Both are wrong.

    I find that it is less likely to be an issue with the people involved are younger or attractive. I haven't seen many guys argue when the hot intern is talking dirty to them.
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    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    I am sure other men have had that uncomfortable situation where one female coworker is telling another that men are despicable animals because of something her boyfriend or husband had done and you, the sole male, are present. At some point one of them turns to you to reassure you that they are talking about other men, not you.

    Happened to me at the start of a meeting. One woman was telling the other how the guy she was dating dumped her after they had sex. And began to run through a litany of transgressions by men with the other woman agreeing. Then she turned to me and said, "But not you, of course. You would never act like that." In a strange way I felt a little insulted. Like she regarded me as someone whose man card was in question.

    I was tempted to say, "Hey I can be as much of an a-hole as any other guy. I totally wouldn't have called you after you put out." Or maybe said, "Gawd, you must have really be a bad lay."
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  7. #7
    Cyburbian MacheteJames's avatar
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    I work with all women - I'm the only dude. None of them are 'planner hottie' types, however. They're a pretty staid bunch of 35+ homebodies with kids.The only time it gets weird is during water cooler conversations over things like shoes and makeup, topics on which I literally have nothing to add. Women do have a way of using mannerisms, body language, and speech in ways that are difficult for a man to fully understand. That said, the primary fissure for me here is more one of 'being a young(ish) professional in an older professional's world' than men vs women.

  8. #8
    moderator in moderation Suburb Repairman's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess View post
    Well, even a woman, I have a story here: worked for a female PD (not my direct supervisor) who had numerous coerced affairs with underlings. Was found banging a married male employee on her desk on a weekend by her admin who came in to do some overtime work. Had an affair with her BFF's hubby (both worked for her). Her trail of sexual harrassment was legion. Finally fired when she was promoted (why, I don't know) to ass't county administrator and was caught banging the other (married) asst't county administrator. She wore skirts that barely covered her crotch. HR had to tell her that was wrong.
    I'm aware of a certain female city manager down here in Texas that has gotten in hot water for having an affair with the married mayor. I'm also aware of another one that is nicknamed "the ballbuster," even by other female city managers. There are bad examples from both sexes for sure.

    Generally speaking, I prefer a female boss. Not sure why, other than the ones I've had have proven to be quite exceptional managers & leaders compared to my experiences with male superiors.

    Back when I managed a restaurant, I, purely by accident, ended-up with an entirely female staff. Though I was the boss, I allowed myself to be the male punching bag when they went through break-ups, etc, letting them vent at me. I found that if I allowed this to some extent, then I had better responsiveness and respect from them and far less drama overall in the restaurant. My wife actually believes that my period running that restaurant is why we don't have a lot of conflict--I'm a pretty good listener and pick battles well.

    "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

    - Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)

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    Cyburbian hilldweller's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Suburb Repairman View post
    Generally speaking, I prefer a female boss. Not sure why, other than the ones I've had have proven to be quite exceptional managers & leaders compared to my experiences with male superiors.
    Agreed. I've had some real crummy male bosses.

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Otis's avatar
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    I once worked for a federal agency in a job that required extensive travel in groups. My boss was a very attractive woman who was notorious for making sexual advances toward her co-workers, among others. She liked to hold one-on-one meetings in her hotel room, that often became "meetings." Once we were in NYC and as one of us was leaving her hotel in a taxi after a "meeting" he saw another one of the team approaching the hotel for his own "meeting." Eventually she became the inspector general of a different federal agency, where her job, among other things, was to police sexual harassment. She did not change her ways and imposed on the wrong guy. She lost her job and he got a $250,000 judgment.

  11. #11
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    I prefer environments that are professionally mixed, as opposed to the extremes of a sausage party or kaffeeklatsch As for a boss/supervisor, no preference.

    The environment I work in now leans female. I've only experienced minor social issues; e.g. some of the women will go out for lunch or coffee and not think to invite me. The PD is a woman, and probably because this is a fairly progressive community, I really haven't had to deal with people deferring to me under the false assumption that I'm the PD.

    We do have an issue of women who will use the men's bathrooms, but the vice versa is frowned upon.
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    Cyburbian hilldweller's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Otis View post
    Once we were in NYC and as one of us was leaving her hotel in a taxi after a "meeting" he saw another one of the team approaching the hotel for his own "meeting."
    C'mon Otis- "one of us"? We know what you're trying to tell us...

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Otis's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by hilldweller View post
    C'mon Otis- "one of us"? We know what you're trying to tell us...
    What do you mean?

    There are those who believe I am the father of her son. I am not, and neither was her husband the father. What a messed-up life she was living.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian
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    Quote Originally posted by Otis View post
    What do you mean?

    There are those who believe I am the father of her son. I am not, and neither was her husband the father. What a messed-up life she was living.
    I smell a reality TV show. "The Real Planning Directors of America."

  15. #15
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    I worked with a female mayor who adopted many of the same backward traits as old fashioned male bosses. For example, she would always refer to a female subordinate as "blondie" (she was far from a ditzy blond type). Her coffee mug read "B.I.T.C.H. - Boys I'm Taking Charge Here."

  16. #16
    Cyburbian
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    Quote Originally posted by MacheteJames View post
    I work with all women - I'm the only dude. None of them are 'planner hottie' types, however. They're a pretty staid bunch of 35+ homebodies with kids.The only time it gets weird is during water cooler conversations over things like shoes and makeup, topics on which I literally have nothing to add. Women do have a way of using mannerisms, body language, and speech in ways that are difficult for a man to fully understand. That said, the primary fissure for me here is more one of 'being a young(ish) professional in an older professional's world' than men vs women.
    That's my work environment as well. What gets kind of annoying is since I'm rather young, a few of these women can be rather forceful with their motherly advice.

    I definitely don't mind working with a bunch of women older than me but it would definitely be nice to have another guy in a department of 10+ people. It would give me another person to talk to since for the same reasons you mention mention, I've got nothing to add on most of the conversations that happen around here. Politics, news, and whatnot, I know a lot about; kids, office gossip, fashion, and entertainment news, not so much.

  17. #17
    Cyburbian HomerJ's avatar
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    I've had good and bad experiences working with both genders, I think the most important aspect is that an agency is well balanced. The guys I've work with in office settings tend to joke around a lot more (myself included) and some of the female employees can at times get annoyed by this. Sometimes when they are annoyed it's justified, sometimes not.
    Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

  18. #18
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    Since I'm no longer there...

    We had an older, kind of frumpy, city council member who hated my boss. Since I was his hire, she didn't like me as a result. She had an odd habit of wearing "head gear" to meetings near special holidays, like reindeer antlers, shamrocks, and fireworks for Christmas, St. Pat's, and the 4th... Well, for Easter, she had on rabbit ears, and when she walked in I kind of ducked my head and tried to keep from chuckling. So she glares at me from the dais, the conversation went like this:

    "I know what you're thinking."
    "No, I doubt very much that you do."
    "Oh yes, you're thinking it's unprofessional to wear something like this to a council meeting!"
    "No, that wasn't it."
    "Well?"
    "I was thinking in a perfect world all women wear bunny ears..."

    A pause. Then she laughed so hard she fell out of her chair. After that we were fast friends. (I didn't like my boss either.)
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