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Thread: Victimhood

  1. #1
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Victimhood

    Have you ever known anyone who seems to habitually identify themselves as being somehow a victim? You know what I'm talking about? It's worth an eyeroll if you ask me.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

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    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Have you ever known anyone who seems to habitually identify themselves as being somehow a victim? You know what I'm talking about? It's worth an eyeroll if you ask me.
    I had to distance myself from two very good friends because of this very issue. I'm still friendly with them and I hang out with one of them from time to time, but our friendship is no where near as close as it used to be.
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

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    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Have you ever known anyone who seems to habitually identify themselves as being somehow a victim? You know what I'm talking about? It's worth an eyeroll if you ask me.
    I know a couple people like this. It is amazing how the fast food restaurant got your order wrong on purpose, or how the car in front of you slowed down so you would have to break fast....

    I find these people to be very pessimistic and yet somehow really self obsessed. Do you really think that people care about you / hate you enough to really do all the things you think they are doing to you? I don't.
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

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    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Have you ever known anyone who seems to habitually identify themselves as being somehow a victim? You know what I'm talking about? It's worth an eyeroll if you ask me.
    Quote Originally posted by Hink View post
    I know a couple people like this...

    I find these people to be very pessimistic and yet somehow really self obsessed. Do you really think that people care about you / hate you enough to really do all the things you think they are doing to you? I don't.
    I have a current and former coworker (both at my current workplace) who are the constant victims in life. The one who is no longer here was my de facto boss for the first few years that I worked here but was so pessimistic and self obsessed that nobody the majority of the rest of the staff wanted nothing to do with her. And she wasn't just the constant victim in the workplace, everybody in her family, all of her neighbors, the Post Office, the guy at the deli, the car dealer... were all out to get her. It got so bad that she actually nearly worked herself into a nervous breakdown at the start of this year and ended up retiring a bit earlier than she was planning. Oh well... promotion for me!

    The other constant victim is just as bad but luckily I don't work as closely with him so I don't have to deal with it as often.

    Sometimes I think these constant victims might be actual victims but only because their behavior brings it on themselves and their self-obsession makes them oblivious to it.
    "Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost." - 1980 Republican presidential candidate Ronald Reagan

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    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by WSU MUP Student View post
    Sometimes I think these constant victims might be actual victims but only because their behavior brings it on themselves and their self-obsession makes them oblivious to it.
    I think you're onto something. Definitely a self-fulfilling prophecy type thing.
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

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    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by WSU MUP Student View post
    Sometimes I think these constant victims might be actual victims but only because their behavior brings it on themselves and their self-obsession makes them oblivious to it.
    I know one person that is very much like this. I like her but can only deal with her in small quantities of time.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

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    Cyburbian Rygor's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by WSU MUP Student View post
    Sometimes I think these constant victims might be actual victims but only because their behavior brings it on themselves and their self-obsession makes them oblivious to it.
    Sadly, I feel like my mother has turned into one of these people. Ever since the last guy she was with broke up with her after they were engaged, she retreated into her house, stopped caring about keeping up appearances, went into a depression, and has refused any help anyone has offered her ever since, I believe because she likes playing the "victim" card. She will blame her entire state of affairs on her ex to anyone who will hear it. It has become difficult to dig up the motivation to call her much anymore because I know any conversation will devolve into a "whoah is me" suckfest about how her house is falling apart and how everything is "his" fault. It's sad. But, she is my mother and I care about her so I continue to offer help, even though she won't accept any of it.

    On the brighter side...it's beautiful and sunny outside today!
    "When life gives you lemons, just say 'No thanks'." - Henry Rollins

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    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Moderator note:
    split from RTDNTOTO7 (Dan, is there maybe something you could do to add this phrase to the toolbar?)


    Victimhood can be a state of mind, instead of a set of external circumstances.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

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    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    I have one friend who is always a victim. She has had some health issues, some job issues, some school issues, TONS of family issues, car issues, social issues, and personal issues. I don't ask her how things are going anymore. Instead her husband and I hang out and talk.
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  10. #10
    Cyburbian ColoGI's avatar
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    I call these people "not happy unless they're unhappy".
    -------
    Give a man a gun, and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank, and he can rob the world.

  11. #11
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Every group of size also seems to have the "victim" that doesn't really complain but takes advantage of every opportunity to leave work with illness (their own or extended family), home repair issues, car problems, etc, etc. They're usually nice people who never get their work assignments done but management can't quite bring themselves to let them go since they have so many problems and they're so nice. So nice that they almost always volunteer to help with office social activities. As a result, they get low priority tasks and others have to help to get even those jobs done.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

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