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Thread: What do you do when J.W.'s (and other folks) come a-knockin on your door

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Mud Princess's avatar
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    What do you do when J.W.'s (and other folks) come a-knockin on your door

    I managed to avoid a Jehovah's Witness who came to my door this morning. I heard someone pull up in the driveway, peeked out, and saw an elderly woman with a cane exit the car. She knocked (on the back door - no one can quite figure out where our front door is located) and I didn't answer. My dog didn't even bark! Some watchdog.

    Of course the woman left a flyer in the door - it's going straight into the recycling bin.

    What would YOU say, or what have you said in the past, when someone like this pays you a visit?? I am trying to come up with a good line for these situations.

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Tide's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Mud Princess View post
    What would YOU say, or what have you said in the past, when someone like this pays you a visit?? I am trying to come up with a good line for these situations.
    They are teachers and reaching out for the perceived lost souls. The JWs that come to your door aren't stupid and this isn't their first rodeo so intellectually sparing with them will waste both your time.

    This will differ on your religious views but I tell them I am a born again Christian and quite happy with my choice. That will often make them realize they are barking up the wrong tree. You could insert (Jewish, Catholic, etc. for Christian) and get the same results, they are looking for non-religious or people unhappy in their current religious path.
    @GigCityPlanner

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Mud Princess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Tide View post
    They are teachers and reaching out for the perceived lost souls. The JWs that come to your door aren't stupid and this isn't their first rodeo so intellectually sparing with them will waste both your time.

    This will differ on your religious views but I tell them I am a born again Christian and quite happy with my choice. That will often make them realize they are barking up the wrong tree. You could insert (Jewish, Catholic, etc. for Christian) and get the same results, they are looking for non-religious or people unhappy in their current religious path.
    I have no desire to "intellectually spar" with them, which is why I didn't answer the door in the first place. I'm just plain not interested.

    I've heard that telling them I'm Jewish doesn't necessarily end the conversation.

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    Cyburbian Plus dandy_warhol's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Mud Princess View post
    I have no desire to "intellectually spar" with them, which is why I didn't answer the door in the first place. I'm just plain not interested.

    I've heard that telling them I'm Jewish doesn't necessarily end the conversation.
    Invite them in to see your sex dungeon.

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    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Mud Princess View post
    What would YOU say, or what have you said in the past, when someone like this pays you a visit?? I am trying to come up with a good line for these situations.
    I invite them in and promise to show them the many benefits and advantages of their very own Amway franchise.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

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    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by otterpop View post
    I invite them in and promise to show them the many benefits and advantages of their very own Amway franchise.
    Moderator note:
    split from RTDNTOTO

    Post of the day!

    Usually, I just don't answer the door. In the past I used to engage them in spirited debates, but now understand that's truly a waste of both parties' time. Another complicating factor is now Junior takes it upon himself on occasion to answer the door and the avoidance strategy is not always an option.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  7. #7
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    I happily accept whatever fliers or paperwork the JWs or Mormons are passing out but am also quick to tell them I am not interested in their spiel. I do the same when my evangelical uncle or cousins try their thing on me.
    "Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost." - 1980 Republican presidential candidate Ronald Reagan

  8. #8
    moderator in moderation Suburb Repairman's avatar
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    I have a bit of a soft spot for Mormons, particularly during the hot summer months. I tell them up-front that I'm not interested, but am happy to offer them a few minutes in the air conditioning (and non-religious conversation) and a bottle of water provided that they don't proselytize. One of my friends growing up got picked-on a lot because he was Mormon. I have several Mormon friends, including a couple that did American missions that talked about how rude some people were. They understood folks weren't interested, but didn't see the need to be rude about it just because it was 30 seconds out of their day to answer the door. As a result, I make it a point to be nice while also being clear that they are barking up the wrong tree. Mormon missionaries are very well trained in how to deal with challenging questions, etc., but what is really good is that they are taught how to deal with hecklers & assholes. As a result, they are pretty easy to deal with when they come to your door and know that their odds of getting someone interested are low. I think it is important that they understand that folks that don't go to church or that are not religious are perfectly nice & welcoming even if they don't agree with you.

    JW's, on the other hand, are a different breed. They tend to be more persistant/aggresive and have less training. As a result, they'll get the bottle of water offer but will not be invited in. I made that mistake once, and never will again. I'll be nice, but if they push more than once then I get pretty short with them.

    "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

    - Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Tide's avatar
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    That reminds me also of a time that JWs or someone came to my mother's door. On the side of her door she has a Jewish Mezuzah given to her by a friend (my mother is not Jewish). The JWs saw it and turned back around.
    Last edited by Tide; 15 Aug 2012 at 12:45 PM.
    @GigCityPlanner

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Bubba's avatar
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    I've had to deal with this once, and I was out in my front yard at the time (so not answering the door wasn't an option). I took their literature, politely told them I had no interest in talking with them, and went back to what I was doing.

    The rector of my childhood church has a story about a friend of his answering a knock on his door (which turn out to be missionaries from one of the local fundamentalist congregations). One of the two gentlemen on his porch started the conversation by blurting out "Have you been saved?" His response, as he calmly closed the door, was "Not from you."
    Last edited by Bubba; 15 Aug 2012 at 12:24 PM.
    I found you a new motto from a sign hanging on their wall…"Drink coffee: do stupid things faster and with more energy"

  11. #11
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Mezuzahs are JW repellent. When even that doesn't stop them, unrestrained friendly dogs will usually send the Witnesses packing; most I've encountered seem to be terrified of them.

    As Suburb Repairman said, Mormons missionaries usually aren't a bother. They only come around every few years, and when you tell them you're not interested, they leave you alone. I'll offer water to those that do stop by. For many, it's their first time away from the Rocky Mountain region, and I like to know what their impressions of the outside world are like.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  12. #12
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    I always open the door and try to convert them to Catholicism and invite them to join me at the Cathedral next Sunday to worship the real GOD, Jesus, and the holly ghost. We have a desk not too far from our door and we always tend to have a bulletin or two sitting there which I give them. It is amazing how fast they get off my porch. To be extra crazy, the last time I actually followed them down the driveway saying that I will pray that GOD has mercy on their souls and that they may find the true calling of faith and not one established by false prophets like Charles Russell.
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  13. #13
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    If I see them coming I throw my dog in the front yard and the ferocious barking keeps them away.

    A friend of mine has a story he tells that he swears is true, about how his girlfriend left the house and very soon after there was a knock on the door and he was sure it was her coming back to get something she forgot so he just goit out of bed and opened the door completely naked. I guess they left immediately.
    Children in the back seat can cause accidents - and vice versa.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    I was caught in the driveway with a friend and the JW came up. We started out by offering them a beer, they declined. Then they asked if we would like to hear their story. We responded "How long will it take? Do I need a chair?" After a couple more comments like that they decided to leave and not speak to a couple of guys standing in the driveway drinking beer.
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  15. #15
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Moderator note:
    split from RTDNTOTO

    Post of the day!

    Usually, I just don't answer the door. In the past I used to engage them in spirited debates, but now understand that's truly a waste of both parties' time. Another complicating factor is now Junior takes it upon himself on occasion to answer the door and the avoidance strategy is not always an option.
    Thank you!

    OT - one Saturday my son and I went to the local hot springs/health club for a swim and a soak. We were enjoying the male-only hot tub before heading home. A guy sits down on the bench next to the hot tub and strikes up a conversation. A very friendly naked guy already had me on my guard, especially since he is seated higher than me and he had the whole "junk" yard on display.

    He launches into his theories about evidence of pyramids he has found in the local mountains. Pretty quick he is giving me the whole Worlds in Collision by Immanuel Velikovsky spiel. I am showing no interest but offering no rebuttal. "Junior," on the other hand, is quizzing him like there is going to be a test afterwards. It was an excruciating thirty minutes until the guy decided to move on. In a perverse sort of way I began to enjoy it. It was like watching a car wreck in slow motion, even though you were the one in the accident.

    I told my son afterwards he shouldn't give crackpots like that any opportunity to bend your ear, especially not my ear. He understood. We run into the guy every now and then, but we give him the stone-face now.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  16. #16
    Cyburbian hilldweller's avatar
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    I wonder if offering them booze is an effective way to shoo them away. "You can prosthelytize all you want, but I'm not listening unless we're doin' a bunch of whiskey shots"

  17. #17
    Cyburbian Plus Whose Yur Planner's avatar
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    I'm so big that people don't much fool with me. Plus, I don't exactly have an inviting personality which further discourages them. A few bravehearted and foolhearty have tried. At that point, I mention that I attend the local Baptist mega-church and that pretty much kills it.
    When did I go from Luke Skywalker to Obi-Wan Kenobi?

  18. #18
    Cyburbian ColoGI's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Mud Princess View post

    What would YOU say, or what have you said in the past, when someone like this pays you a visit?? I am trying to come up with a good line for these situations.
    I wave my hand dismissively and say 'we don't want any of that, thanks!' I'll take their material and place it immediately in the recycle after I close the door. That's it. Nothing more.
    -------
    Give a man a gun, and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank, and he can rob the world.

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    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    They were more of a bother when I lived on the Left Coast. As I was married to a Muslim at the time he usually made pretty quick work of them and they went away without issue. I would get the occasional JW in South Carolina, but I just told them thanks but no thanks and they were on their way. Haven't had any come to my door in the 6 years I've been in NJ. Of course, I lived in a pretty heavily Hindu/Muslim populated area so that in itself was a deterrent. Now I live in the 'hood and they won't come there at all.

    I did see about 20 white bread Mormon missionaries canvassing all the colored folk walking down or waiting for buses on Broad Street downtown last month. Not sure they had many takers although I think the panhandlers might have given them a run for their money.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  20. #20
    Cyburbian Linda_D's avatar
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    The Mormons come by rarely. The JWs come by more often but usually they pass on my house. I guess the late Rusty the Guard Dog Extraordinaire firmly established my house's reputation as one that's NOT worth bothering with. My hope is that they don't realize that my current dog, Tucker, is the biggest lover boy of a dog ever born. To that end, I put the "dog on premises" sign on the back gate and NOT the "poodle Xing" one!
    If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. -- John F. Kennedy, January 20, 1961

  21. #21
    Cyburbian Mud Princess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Tide View post
    That reminds me also of a time that JWs or someone came to my mother's door. On the side of her door she has a Jewish Mezuzah given to her by a friend (my mother is not Jewish). The JWs saw it and turned back around.
    Not a bad idea. I am of Jewish heritage and my grandmother always had a Mezuzah hanging in her doorway. Hmm, I wonder what ever happened to it.... Of course, it might not go very well with the Irish greeting we have on the other door.

    Quote Originally posted by hilldweller View post
    I wonder if offering them booze is an effective way to shoo them away. "You can prosthelytize all you want, but I'm not listening unless we're doin' a bunch of whiskey shots"
    Now that sounds like a typical Irish or Scottish response! "Let's have a wee dram..." That reminds me of when my husband and I visited one of his Irish cousins; it was 11 am, but the cousin insisted we have a whiskey.

    Quote Originally posted by imaplanner View post
    If I see them coming I throw my dog in the front yard and the ferocious barking keeps them away.
    Quote Originally posted by Linda_D View post
    I guess the late Rusty the Guard Dog Extraordinaire firmly established my house's reputation as one that's NOT worth bothering with. My hope is that they don't realize that my current dog, Tucker, is the biggest lover boy of a dog ever born. To that end, I put the "dog on premises" sign on the back gate and NOT the "poodle Xing" one!
    I was hoping my dog would start barking ferociously and that would be the end of it, but no... she just looked at me and whined, as if to say, "Well, open the door already."

  22. #22
    Cyburbian Plus dandy_warhol's avatar
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    No offense to any Mormons

    Off-topic:
    Has anyone seen Book of Mormon? My parents won 4 free tickets to their fan day back in June and I was the lucky 3rd wheel. Very enjoyable and highly recommended.

  23. #23
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    I just start singing the old Marvin Gaye classic, "Can I get a witness?", and point at them to come in on the chorus.

    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  24. #24
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    Mormons get a pass from me, so I talk to them.* Everyone else either gets the dogs or the wife. If you get a choice, take option A.



    *I was working in my yard digging a long trench, they showed up and wanted to talk to me. Being a hot day, I said sure... one could dig and I'd talk under the shade tree all day. I thought they'd run, but nope, they dug that whole damn ditch. If you're that motivated, I'll listen. And, it was interesting listening to the history of it all.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
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    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
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    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    I try to be polite and say hey, no thanks, but when they catch me off guard and I'm really busy I've been known to yell over my shoulder (to a non-existent someone) "Honey, they're here again, let the dogs loose!" and slam the door.

    I am always appalled at the gumption of any religious groups infringing on other people's time like that. Not that they ever heed a "No Solicitors" sign; but it's the same damn thing and they should be called on it. Or arrested.

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