High school reunions

[Maister]

Got an email several weeks ago inquiring if I planned to attend my class' 30 year reunion. The short answer is 'no', but for some reason Mrs. Maister keeps bringing it back up - are you sure you don't want to go?...

I guess my view is that if I wanted to keep in touch with the folks I went to high school with, I would have already made an effort to maintain those relationships. As it is I can't think of anyone I'm dying to see.

How about you - have you or do you plan to attend your class reunions. If so, why is that? (it occurs to me, however, I could show up to my 30 year and boast about how I'm a CluBbe member on Cyburbia and make everyone jealous....)

What are your opinions about class reunions?

[luckless pedestrian]

I am going to my 30th this November - we only do them every 10 years so what the hell - most of the people I am curious about I cyber see on Facebook but there is nothing like a real conversation

[btrage]

I've never been to any of my reunions.

My wife went to her 10-year and it was basically a house party at someone's place. She said she wasn't going to any more.

[Blide]

I came from a small high school where I knew everyone but admittedly I've failed to maintain any of those relationships. I don't really have any fond memories of high school but I wouldn't mind meeting up with my classmates again. It would be interesting to see what happened to everyone. Reunions are definitely a place where people go to show off their success but that doesn't bother me considering I'm not unhappy with how things have turned out for me.

I'm still a couple years off from what would be the 10 year reunion. We're only the second graduating class from the school so I have to wonder if we'll even have one. If we do, I may stop by if I have time. My mom still lives in the area so it could give me an excuse to go home.

[Planit]

Went to my 30th a couple years ago, but I do live 700 miles away. Mom still lives there so I was able to combine a trip. Basically minor chit-chat with several people I remembered. One guy was a jerk then and he's still one now. A couple stuckup girls were still stuckup. I did have four in depth conversations with people that I had known all the way through school years - from elementary thru HS - that was the best part. One was an ex-girlfriend, one I played soccer with, the other two were friends with mutual interests. I also wished I had seen a couple people that didn't come.

Will I go to the 40th in seven years - no. The 50th - maybe.

[kjel]

My 20th is this year. I guess there is something planned but I am not going since its in Oregon and I live in NJ now. There isn't anyone I am friendly enough with that I really am dying to see and those that I am still connected to I keep in touch via FB and that's enough for me. I will be going to the NeighborWorks training institute scheduled to be in Portland next February since it's basically a free trip for me. If anyone wants to catch up with me they can do it then.

[hilldweller]

Didn't attend my ten-year, couldn't imagine why I'd attend any future H.S. reunions. I hated my H.S.

[NHPlanner]

Skipped my 10 year...got tix last weekend for the 20th...and still not sure exactly why I'm going...

[Dan]

My 25 year reunion was held a year late. We didn't have a 5 or 10 year reunion; too many of us scattered to the winds.

I flew in from Austin for the affair. At the time, I was experiencing a bout of alopecia, and about a third of my hair was gone. I looked like a radiation victim. Still didn't want to miss it, though. My ex from Cleveland was going to come up to be my date, but she bailed at the last minute. She was pregnant (not mine), and was afraid the three-hour drive on I-90 would cause complications of some sort. So, there I was, alone, with random patches of my hair missing. A former cheerleader's husband decided not to attend, and she asked to be my date of the night.

One of the most interesting parts of the reunion was a tour of the old school The building was built in 1917, was part of a national historic district, and had just undergone a two year, multi-million dollar gut rehab, with a floating addition that had to be located in a way that was hidden away from public view. The place was unrecognizable. The lockers were still the same, though.

We were kind of disappointed that the school lost a lot of its prestige. it used to be considered one of the best public schools in the country, but an honors magnet school sucked away many of the students that would have gone there in the recent past.

I was editor of the school newspaper during my senior year. I scanned a complete four year set of back issues, and put them all online.

My high school years were very awkward, but overall, I had a great time.

[otterpop]

A few years ago my best friend got me on the e-mail list of our former classmates. I was surprised how so many of them appeared to be the same a-holes they were in high school. Some of them were so full of themselves then and now. One keeps crowing about his success (yeah, must have been tough fighting his way to the top of your daddy's scrap metal business). Same juvenile jokes. Same bigotry.

So, no. I haven't been to the reunions. Like Hilldweller I hated high school. Going to an all-male catholic high school could do that to a person.

My friends from high school I do see when I make that 2,000-mile trek home. We were all among the people who didn't get our pictures in the yearbook because of our "hippie" hair. Of course now most of us are lucky to have hair, though one still sports his long thick locks, though they are noticeably greyer.

[Maister]

I've never attended any of my reunions, but went to my wife's 20th. My impression is that people often attend these things for the purposes of low-grade gossip ("oh my god, look at Soandso he's bald now.....boy, look at Soandso at the buffet, she really let herself go....did you hear Soandso is on his/her third marriage....") or an opportunity to boast/rub others noses into it how successful one is ("My youngest is going to Harvard this fall....oh, I've moved around alot over the years, what with being vice president of MegaCorp. and all..."). I mean does anyone ever run into classmates telling tales of woe? ("I still haven't shaken my meth addicition, but am trying really hard since my last relapse to make it to Meetings. I should be hearing from Protective Services later this week whether or not I can get my children back....")

[wahday]

I went to my 5 year reunion and my wife's 10th. Meh. Not very exciting, though maybe it becomes more so as time marches on. Missed my 20th and 25th as well. Facebook has put me in touch with most of the HS folks I care to talk to, but it probably could have been fun. The timing was just bad and the travel too far (and I have no family and few friends I could stay with there anyway, making it even more costly),

My wife on the other hand has more interest in going to her 25th which is coming up fast this year. She does have people to stay with so she is likely to go. I can't take the time off, so I'll hold down the fort at home, possibly with the kids, or she will take them with her. But that's ok. Sitting at a table with a group of people reliving experiences you never had isn't all that fun anyway....

[Otis]

I went to my 15th 28 years ago. I never went to any others. I might consider going to the 50th, but probably not. I did not particularly like high school, and my sense from the reunion was that for most of the attendees, high school was the high point of their lives. I did join my hs class's Facebook page, and it has been interesting to follow some of the doings of my classmates. For example, one woman, who was rather plain in hs, became a fixture on the beauty pageant circuit and still competes herself (at 60+) and coaches others. For the most part I'm glad I'm 3000 miles away from where my hs is.

[Whose Yur Planner]

I haven't been to any of them and won't go to any of them. HS for me simply sucked. I was bored most of the time. I was a cops kid which means I had social leprosy. I was also a nerd/geek with an attitude and a sharp tongue, so I wasn't exactly invited to parties. I've kept in touch with a couple of girls I knew via fb, but that's it.

[Seabishop]

My 20th is this summer. Although I'd like to be a fly on the wall I'm not going to go. Few people knew who I was 20 years ago never mind now. I am part of the facebook reunion group though which satisfies the desire to see what happened to people.

Part of me wants to be the tool who rents a ferrari, stuffs fake muscles under his suit and brags about his successes for 4 hours straight - "You dudes don't know the thrill of changing the color on a zoning map!"

[MD Planner]

Wow, my reunion experiences have been much different. There were about 225 in my graduating class. We have had reunions every 5 years and all have been well attended. 120 class members went to our 20th a few years ago so with spouses/significant others that was a lot of people. I can honestly say that of the four gatherings we've had so far I haven't seen or heard any of the "I'm so sucessful" kind of talk or really even much petty gossip. There are people in my class who I enjoyed in school but never really see them except at the reunions and I enjoy sitting at the table for a bit and catching up. And it's not like the class was all from the same socio-economic strata, we weren't. But for the most part we got along.

One thing that always makes me proud of our class is how we look after one of our own. We had a member who was a special education student but except when we were really little in grade school, nobody ever made fun of her. She works at a local grocery store doing sweeping, bagging etc. But come every reunion, someone always stops by the store or calls her very elderly parents to make sure she has a ride.

We've had various activities, at the 15th we had a teacher give us a tour of the renovated school and then all sat together afterward at the football game and then an informal mixer later at a local watering hole. The next night was the more formal get together. We've also had a dinner dance on Saturday night and then a family picnic the next day at a park so everyone can bring their kids, pitch horseshoes and play volleyball. We had a great class advisor (who is still teaching English) and every reunion we get out the slide projector and look at the pictures she took of all of us over the years; from our very first day as scared freshmen, through sports and band and prom and graduation and keeps adding from the previous reunions. We laugh and have a great time. I'm sorry some of you haven't enjoyed yours because I really look forward to mine.

[TOFB]

I'm OK with my HS experience, go to most the reunions, keep in touch with a lot of homies. No big deal.

[WSU MUP Student]

I still keep in very regular contact with 15 or 20 folks from my graduating class. However, none of us went to our official 10 year reunion a few years back. It was held at a park near our old high school and there was a $25 fee for attendees (and their guests). The fee covered the cost of hot dogs, hamburgers, and pop - alcohol was not allowed. I think somebody's pockets were being lined pretty well. The two girls who were the self-appointed organizers claimed they wanted to have it at the park so people could bring their children. That may have been semi-interesting if it was our 20th reunion and more of us actually had kids at that point.

A buddy from the same graduating class (who happened to stand up in my wedding) had recently bought a house in the same neighborhood as the park and we put the word out that he was hosting a party the same day, free of charge, just BYOB. He ended up with about 40 of us from our class at his house, plus their husbands/wives, as well as another 20 or so from his wife's class which was two years behind us. In the evening we all left the house and went to a local bar that had set aside space for the folks from the official reunion. All in all, there ended up being about 100 of us from our class at the bar - although from what I recall hearing, only about 15 or 20 people had shown up to the official reunion at the park.

Nobody was there bragging about how great they had become, and none of the jerks from the class were there (unless somebody counts me as one of the jerks ). My ego was stoked a bit when I walked in and I could hear a group of girls say, "Oh there's WSU MUP Student, he doesn't look like he's changed a bit!" After turning towards them and seeing what 10 years did to them I was glad I hadn't changed a bit. On the other hand, it was really interesting to see a couple of girls who were always sort of plain-Jane looking who turned out to be drop dead gorgeous or the hardcore stoners who were always in trouble in school who had really turned their lives around.

We all had so much fun that there was talk of putting together a 15th reunion last summer but it never materialized. Maybe we will do a belated one this summer. While I see my closest friends from high school quite often, it was nice seeing all the other folks again in the same spot at one time. Maybe it's just the economist in me that was happy to enjoy a little economies of scale.

I am definitely looking forward to my 20th reunion.

[DetroitPlanner]

We had about 500 in my senior class. I've been on the committees since the 20 year reunion. We will soon start planning for 30 which will take place in 2014.

We typically get about 200 to show up. Its quite the process to put something like this together. Rule #1 is you need to have a dedicated core that is willing to pay early. Most places and caterers are going to want depositis. I've been able to use my 'visioning' skills in order to keep the committee on the right track and decide things such as location, food, activities, etc.

I don't mind doing these things. In addition there is a yearly all school reunion that takes place at a K of C hall. At the last yearly reunion we raised enough money to keep a local soup kitchen alive that was down to its final few dollars.

My old High School died a few years back. The yearly reunions will do nothing but get smaller, but at least we can live on through doing things for parts of our community that still need help.

[kms]

Out of curiosity, I went to my 10 year reunion. One woman was pregnant with her 5th kid. I approached a guy who was a friend during junior high and high school, a pretty good friend. When he found out that I was married, he literally turned his back on me! I guess we know why he was there. After that reunion, I didn't think that I'd go to any more.

When out 30th came around 2 years ago, I declined. One friend who still lives in the area, and who is a facebook friend, pressured me to go, but I didn't. I couldn't figure why my attendance was so important to her, as I had invited her to several events and places and she never showed. Some people.....

[JNA]

Missed them so far. Might consider attending the 40th.

[Salmissra]

I went to 3 different high schools. My senior year was the only year at one school, and I have no desire, need, or even interest in attending a reunion with those people.

The high school I started in is the only one with interesting people. I'm fb friends with a few, and since it was such a small class, I know about the lives of several more. That's enough for me.

[Gotta Speakup]

At my last reunion for my high school which is in Silicon Valley, everyone was trying to recruit each other for their tech company. A lot of companies pay a bonus if you snag a recruit. funny how no one tried to recruit me.

I had a good time at my smallish school. So I enjoy these things. I got dragged to my dear spouse's reunion. That was embarrassingly bad for everyone who attended that school. It was held in a shabby roadside hotel about thirty miles outside of DC. It smelled, few people attended. The place had the feel of where oe would go for a boozy, cheap affair.

[Maister]

The place had the feel of where one would go for a boozy, cheap affair.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

[MacheteJames]

I went to my 5 and 10 year reunions and had a great time at both. Our 10 year reunion had a relatively low turnout (40 out of 230) and I think Facebook may be mostly to blame for that, as the majority of the class is on there. I was kind of a dork in high school (still am, honestly) but had a great time nonetheless at both of them. There's something touching about being able to see your old peers evolve into adults with careers and kids and to have the chance shoot the shit about completely stupid yet still amusing stuff you did together back in the day. Some of the people who were tools then actually turned out to be awesome adults.

I wonder if those who shun reunions are somehow doing so out of a larger fear of mortality or over regrets about things that they'd wish they had done (or vice versa) during their high school years. Maybe I'll feel different when it's time for my 20 or 30 year reunion.