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Thread: Desireable job open: more pay, move up, family not interested in moving

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Hawkeye66's avatar
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    Desireable job open: more pay, move up, family not interested in moving

    The current job has some warts and has been tough at times.

    Two middle school and two elementary age kids, so moving not popular. I have no real desire to go through a move and be at home part time during the weeks for perhaps a year, but its a big pay increase.

    Follow my gut????

  2. #2
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Hawkeye66 View post
    The current job has some warts and has been tough at times.

    Two middle school and two elementary age kids, so moving not popular. I have no real desire to go through a move and be at home part time during the weeks for perhaps a year, but its a big pay increase.

    Follow my gut????
    This is a tough one and there are lots of variables involved. I recently completed a cross-state move with two elementary kids. It's been very hard at times, but once we were able to buy our new place things are so much better.

    My wife was willing to support me in any decision I made, which was sort of of Catch-22 situation.

    I'm not sure I would've done the job change with middle schoolers.
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

  3. #3
    Cyburbian ColoGI's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Hawkeye66 View post
    The current job has some warts and has been tough at times.

    Two middle school and two elementary age kids, so moving not popular. I have no real desire to go through a move and be at home part time during the weeks for perhaps a year, but its a big pay increase.

    Follow my gut????
    Both of us are in the midst of being courted to join a very large private firm in one of the industries where I practice. It may involve a move out of state, but certainly it would involve a move out of this conservative McSuburb to somewhere nicer. The kid is the driver for much of the current discussion.

    I'm not 100% sure 'follow your gut' is the best answer, especially after reading Kahneman's Thinking, Fast and Slow, which sheds much light on 'thinking with the gut' and the problems therein. I agree with btrage that the kids can adjust, but you'll have teenage angst for a while.

    Good luck in your decision!
    -------
    Give a man a gun, and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank, and he can rob the world.

  4. #4
    As humans, we tend to undervalue what we have and overvalue what we don't have. Do not make the move lightly. Never sacrifice quality of life for money.

  5. #5
    moderator in moderation Suburb Repairman's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by chocolatechip View post
    Do not make the move lightly. Never sacrifice quality of life for money.
    As someone that has made that mistake, I encourage you to carefully evaluate whether the move is worth it--not from a money standpoint, but from a QOL standpoint. Mine didn't even involve a relocation, and I ended-up regretting my decision.

    "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

    - Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Brocktoon's avatar
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    I agree with everything said and would add that you and your spouse need to make the decision. Does the increase in pay also increase your standard of living in the new area? If you are serious about it then take a quick "vacation" and see what you think of the city and maybe have a realtor show you some homes that would be in your price range.

    Personally I hate to forgo opportunity for convenience. As for the kids, I have always believed that high school is the "no go" time when moving is concerned. Also, if now is not the time then when? Your elementary school children will be in middle school soon so can you be happy in your current situation until your youngest is finished with high school?

    On the bright side it you are considering a better job and that is always a good thing.
    "If you don't like change, you're going to like irrelevance even less" General Eric Shinseki

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Hawkeye66's avatar
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    As of now I am not going to apply for it. Of course, this assumes that I even could get the job. There would be a lot of good competition. We moved 3 times since 2005 and I frankly have no stomach for it again. Selling our house last time was a mess. I don't really want to do that again.

    Still, the idea of having a 50% pay increase and professional ego drive me frankly.

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Brocktoon's avatar
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    Devils Advocate: What is the harm of applying. You can always decline the interview. Since you are not expecting to even get an interview what is the harm?
    "If you don't like change, you're going to like irrelevance even less" General Eric Shinseki

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Hawkeye66's avatar
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    No harm in it really except that I don't even like to apply unless I am committed to going through with it possibly. I think I would have a decent shot at an interview.

    I have seen situations where people reach the interview stage and then the spouse comes on the visit and says no way. I dont get that.

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Brocktoon's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Hawkeye66 View post
    No harm in it really except that I don't even like to apply unless I am committed to going through with it possibly. I think I would have a decent shot at an interview.

    I have seen situations where people reach the interview stage and then the spouse comes on the visit and says no way. I dont get that.
    I am with you. I don't always tell my wife that I am applying for a job but I always talk to her when I get a call for an interview. Of course she is willing to move just about anywhere. If she is not in then I decline the interview...although that has never happened.
    "If you don't like change, you're going to like irrelevance even less" General Eric Shinseki

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally posted by Hawkeye66 View post
    The current job has some warts and has been tough at times.

    Two middle school and two elementary age kids, so moving not popular. I have no real desire to go through a move and be at home part time during the weeks for perhaps a year, but its a big pay increase.

    Follow my gut????
    It will cost far more to move than you think. In time there will be an election that screws up the new job. That's being a planner. You chase the crumbs that fall from the table.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Rygor's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by BurntPlanner View post
    It will cost far more to move than you think. In time there will be an election that screws up the new job. That's being a planner. You chase the crumbs that fall from the table.
    There could also be an election that screws up the EXISTING job, so that's not really a reason to not apply. I say if you're truly not happy, and the move would allow a significant increase in standard of living for your family, then go for it. Of course the grass is not always greener, but if you're unhappy now then the only downside is the pain of moving.
    "When life gives you lemons, just say 'No thanks'." - Henry Rollins

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Hawkeye66's avatar
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    Well since I wrote this I had a pretty big argument with a city council member, so I am taking a shot. Even looking at some jobs outside of municipal government. Sometimes the choices get made for you.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian dw914er's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Hawkeye66 View post
    Well since I wrote this I had a pretty big argument with a city council member, so I am taking a shot. Even looking at some jobs outside of municipal government. Sometimes the choices get made for you.
    Yes they do. Goodluck, and I hope you're able to find something that provides a positive environment for you and your family.
    And that concludes staff’s presentation...

  15. #15
    Cyburbian Brocktoon's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Hawkeye66 View post
    Well since I wrote this I had a pretty big argument with a city council member, so I am taking a shot. Even looking at some jobs outside of municipal government. Sometimes the choices get made for you.
    Best of luck! Its always good to have options especially when things go sideways with council.
    "If you don't like change, you're going to like irrelevance even less" General Eric Shinseki

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    Several years ago I left a position I had been in for many years to take a director-level job in a city five times larger, and reputed to be a planning mecca. It turned out to be one of the most unpleasant experiences of my career. It also gave me the opportunity to meet my wide and start my own business, which has given me the most reward and freedom I have known in my career (and life). You never know how anything may turn out. At the moment I am being courted for a director position in another state and 1368 miles away. Will I entertain it, even as my business is picking up nicely? Yes. It may provide me the opportunity to have both a steady income and continue to build the business. With additional income, health coverage, and retirement, I may have more flexibility to add staff and grow the business. The job would also take me to a part of the country I love, let me expand my professional network, and bring more variety to the kind of work I do.

    The bottom line is if you don't bother applying you may never have the opportunity to decide if you might like it. And if you choose to go for it, regardless of what may happen, it will simply become part of the story of your life.
    Anyone want to adopt a dog?

  17. #17
    Quote Originally posted by Cardinal View post
    Several years ago I left a position I had been in for many years to take a director-level job in a city five times larger, and reputed to be a planning mecca. It turned out to be one of the most unpleasant experiences of my career. It also gave me the opportunity to meet my wide and start my own business, which has given me the most reward and freedom I have known in my career (and life). You never know how anything may turn out. At the moment I am being courted for a director position in another state and 1368 miles away. Will I entertain it, even as my business is picking up nicely? Yes. It may provide me the opportunity to have both a steady income and continue to build the business. With additional income, health coverage, and retirement, I may have more flexibility to add staff and grow the business. The job would also take me to a part of the country I love, let me expand my professional network, and bring more variety to the kind of work I do.

    The bottom line is if you don't bother applying you may never have the opportunity to decide if you might like it. And if you choose to go for it, regardless of what may happen, it will simply become part of the story of your life.
    The guy's moved 3 times in 7 years. I've moved 8 times in 11 years (6 of them from coast to coast). I'm only 31 years old. After so many moves, a person can start to doubt the real prospect of a better job or better circumstances. Sometimes you end up chasing the very thing you can build if you just stay put. I'm not saying he shouldn't explore all his options, but that it is a very hard thing to accurately weigh and compare real costs with potential rewards.

  18. #18
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    As you have mentioned that the job is desirable and you are getting a huge pay for your desired job and also family matters the most. That’s right I totally agree but in today’s world hardly people get the desired job opportunity they wished with a good salary. So what I suggest you is go for it in the end you are doing this for your family so that they could have a better life with better Amenities & Secured future .So good luck!!

  19. #19
    Cyburbian MacheteJames's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by jacobwilson View post
    As you have mentioned that the job is desirable and you are getting a huge pay for your desired job and also family matters the most. That’s right I totally agree but in today’s world hardly people get the desired job opportunity they wished with a good salary. So what I suggest you is go for it in the end you are doing this for your family so that they could have a better life with better Amenities & Secured future .So good luck!!
    What's up with reviving all of these necro-posts? You know that this thread was started over a year ago, right? I'm sure whatever decision that the OP needed to make has been made by this point in time.

  20. #20
    Because he/she/it is a sockpuppet troll. A genuine user would have introduced themselves before reviving a half dozen old threads. I believe Cyburbia tracks the originating IPs of all posts, so whoever's multi this is, just fess up.
    The content contrarian

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