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Thread: TS's family = targets of discrimination

  1. #26
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by TerraSapient View post
    I am so angry right now that I am shaking.

    My employer just informed me that they will be denying my application to add my son to my insurance because I cannot legally adopt him and I cannot legally marry my wife. Nevermind the fact that I am already granted legal guardianship by the state of OH.

    This is going to bankrupt us.

    We have no other alternatives.

    MW is a disabled vet and the VA doesn't cover dependents.

    This is why discrimination IS NOT OKAY
    I am angry for you. Really.

    There are options that you might not be aware of:

    #1
    MW is a disabled vet. Does she work? Or does she receive disability? If MW is under the 200% federal poverty level for a family of 2 ($30,000/2012), then SeaMonkey is eligible for SCHIP, which is medicaid for uninsured children. In OH it's called Healthy Start, MW can apply here http://www.jfs.ohio.gov/ohp/consumers/HealthyStart.stm. The way around the income guidelines is that MW applies for herself and SeaMonkey as a household, you should not be on the application. If MW has no income, just type her a letter saying you provide her housing and basic necessities. If MW/SeaMonkey qualify for the SCHIP program, it's more than likely they will qualify for WIC as well which is a great program-supplemental food and support to breast feeding women and formula/food to babies and toddlers.

    #2
    Purchase a child health insurance policy from one of your local/regional carriers. They are more reasonable than you think for child only policies and provide pretty good coverage. RT had one of these for a while since her father's work coverage was not available here when he was required to provide coverage.

    #3
    Federally Qualified Health Centers-these are federally funded community health care organizations located all over the country. They operate to serve uninsured children and adults and many provide comprehensive specialty care including dental. Co-pays are determined by ability to pay, generally ranging $20-40 per visit. I received care from one of these when I was a graduate student since we had a fairly limited student policy which did not include dental or extensive follow up care. I always found the care to be of an excellent standard and wouldn't hesitate to go there again. Here's a county by county listing for Ohio centers: https://m360.ohiochc.org/frontend/search.aspx?cs=635
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  2. #27
    Cyburbian Brocktoon's avatar
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    What a bunch of evil bigots.

    Sounds like you are fighting the good fight which is always worth fighting.
    "If you don't like change, you're going to like irrelevance even less" General Eric Shinseki

  3. #28
    Cyburbian DetroitPlanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Veloise View post
    Just north of the border, dependent children can obtain coverage via a state program. I don't have all the facts, so you might verify that a family of your characteristics would be covered. And then play that card to the hilt. "Gee, Michigan would provide us coverage. Sure would be nice if we didn't have to move to the Wolverine state."
    This should be available in Ohio. MiChild is the Michigan version of the federal CHIP program.
    http://www.healthcare.gov/using-insu...ram/index.html

    I would assume that since the wife is disabled and you're not legally allowed to marry her then this could be a good way to get back at the system thats screwing you over. After all they refuse to believe you're a family. They can't have a dammed if you do dammed if you don't insurance policy.

    Who qualifies for CHIP?
    Every state operates a CHIP, although most states have unique names for their programs like Child Health Plus (New York), Healthy Families (California), and Hoosier Healthwise (Indiana). In several states, CHIP and Medicaid are combined into one program.

    Here are some CHIP basics:

    Basic eligibility for CHIP: Children up to age 19 in families with incomes up to $45,000 per year (for a family of four) are likely to be eligible for coverage. In many states, children in families with higher incomes can also qualify.
    Eligibility and pregnancy: Pregnant women may be eligible for CHIP. Coverage for expectant mothers generally includes lab testing and labor and delivery costs, and at least 60 days of care after delivery.

    What does CHIP cost?
    Health insurance through CHIP is designed to be affordable for families.

    Routine “well child” doctor visits are provided free of charge, but there may be copayments for certain other services. Many states also charge a monthly premium for coverage. The costs you’ll be responsible for under CHIP are different in each state, but cannot be more than 5% of your family’s income each month.
    Last edited by DetroitPlanner; 01 Nov 2012 at 5:03 PM.
    We hope for better things; it will arise from the ashes - Fr Gabriel Richard 1805

  4. #29
    Cyburbian TerraSapient's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kjel View post
    I am angry for you. Really.

    There are options that you might not be aware of:

    #1
    MW is a disabled vet. Does she work? Or does she receive disability? If MW is under the 200% federal poverty level for a family of 2 ($30,000/2012), then SeaMonkey is eligible for SCHIP, which is medicaid for uninsured children. In OH it's called Healthy Start, MW can apply here http://www.jfs.ohio.gov/ohp/consumers/HealthyStart.stm. The way around the income guidelines is that MW applies for herself and SeaMonkey as a household, you should not be on the application. If MW has no income, just type her a letter saying you provide her housing and basic necessities. If MW/SeaMonkey qualify for the SCHIP program, it's more than likely they will qualify for WIC as well which is a great program-supplemental food and support to breast feeding women and formula/food to babies and toddlers.
    Quote Originally posted by DetroitPlanner View post
    This should be available in Ohio. MiChild is the Michigan version of the federal CHIP program.
    http://www.healthcare.gov/using-insu...ram/index.html

    I would assume that since the wife is disabled and you're not legally allowed to marry her then this could be a good way to get back at the system thats screwing you over. After all they refuse to believe you're a family. They can't have a dammed if you do dammed if you don't insurance policy.

    Who qualifies for CHIP?
    Every state operates a CHIP, although most states have unique names for their programs like Child Health Plus (New York), Healthy Families (California), and Hoosier Healthwise (Indiana). In several states, CHIP and Medicaid are combined into one program.

    Here are some CHIP basics:

    Basic eligibility for CHIP: Children up to age 19 in families with incomes up to $45,000 per year (for a family of four) are likely to be eligible for coverage. In many states, children in families with higher incomes can also qualify.
    Thanks so much you two! It looks as though this is going to be the route we have to take, at least for now.

    It is insane that as a working, tax-paying adult I cannot provide insurance to my son because some narrow minded, homophobic, jackholes took the time to write a policy that carefully isolates same sex families and keeps them from qualifying for family insurance in my county. I find moderate pleasure in knowing that these jackholes will now be paying for my child's insurance for me. I don't really like the idea, but since it is literally the only option we have right now, I will at least find some pleasure in that fact..

    Just want to point out one more time the obvious here:
    Well educated, tax paying, fully employed, law abiding citizen + well educated, tax paying, law abiding citizen who also served her country in the US Marine Corps = no health insurance for their child because of discrimination
    Occupy Your Brain!

  5. #30
    moderator in moderation Suburb Repairman's avatar
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    This stuff pisses me off to no end, and it is why I get so mad when uninformed people say "oh, you can just get a lawyer to draw up all of the documents you need regarding parental rights, domestic partnerships, etc." What is happening to you is reality for so many in the LGBTQ community, and it is inexcusable in the 21st century. I can't offer much other than words of encouragement for you, though. There's a two-mommy family down the street from us that has had a lot of headaches as well, but one of them recently got a job that is thankfully more progressive (they just needed the guardianship paperwork like you got done as a form of 'proof' in order to get their kiddo onto the insurance). I've never asked them about the legal adoption issues and how it affects the partners' respective rights. I'll have to ask them next time we have them over for dinner.

    "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

    - Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)

  6. #31
    Cyburbian ColoGI's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by NHPlanner View post
    I second this motion.
    H3ll, I'll do it myself. WTF. We must continue to fight morons and moronity.
    -------
    Give a man a gun, and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank, and he can rob the world.

  7. #32
    Cyburbian Richmond Jake's avatar
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    This makes no sense whatsoever to me and I can't get my head around this concept other than to say it's stupid.

    Quote Originally posted by TerraSapient View post
    It is a county-wide employee owned insurance program. The county wrote the guidelines and enforces them.
    If it's a county-wide employee owned system, then the employees should write and enforce the program. It's yours!! Rally your co-workers, TS, and beat this nastiness into a bloody pulp.
    Annoyingly insensitive

  8. #33
    Cyburbian DetroitPlanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by TerraSapient View post
    Thanks so much you two! It looks as though this is going to be the route we have to take, at least for now.

    It is insane that as a working, tax-paying adult I cannot provide insurance to my son because some narrow minded, homophobic, jackholes took the time to write a policy that carefully isolates same sex families and keeps them from qualifying for family insurance in my county. I find moderate pleasure in knowing that these jackholes will now be paying for my child's insurance for me. I don't really like the idea, but since it is literally the only option we have right now, I will at least find some pleasure in that fact..

    Just want to point out one more time the obvious here:
    Well educated, tax paying, fully employed, law abiding citizen + well educated, tax paying, law abiding citizen who also served her country in the US Marine Corps = no health insurance for their child because of discrimination
    I understand you are p!$$ed and you should be. However priority #1 is meeting the needs of the child, take care of that first (by any means necessary) then go after the system that discriminates.
    We hope for better things; it will arise from the ashes - Fr Gabriel Richard 1805

  9. #34
    Cyburbian Rygor's avatar
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    That really sucks, TS. I hope that you take your fight all the way to the Supreme Court, where they rule in your favor, making it a landmark case in the history of equal rights. Then they can make a movie about it and you can cash in and retire and live happily ever after.
    "When life gives you lemons, just say 'No thanks'." - Henry Rollins

  10. #35
    Cyburbian ColoGI's avatar
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    TSLDFTFTMFMFs

    My title might be too long of an acronym, but do we need to start a TS Legal Defense Fund To Fight These MF'n MFers?
    -------
    Give a man a gun, and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank, and he can rob the world.

  11. #36
    Cyburbian terraplnr's avatar
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    Sign me up for the TSLDFTFTMFMF!

  12. #37
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    The policies are totally suckstastic and engineered to discriminate against families such as yours. Unfortunately the overarching legislation probably has a loophole that allows for this bullshit to happen. I am thankful I live in NJ, while not a marriage equality state, it does have domestic partnership law which requires insurance be offered to a family in this arrangement. I am thankful that my work is also very progressive and understands that many couples cohabitate without getting married, especially in the Latino culture. As such, we offer health insurance benefits to people who cohabitate if they demonstrate that they are committed to one another and share finances.

    This is very good example of why DOMA needs to be repealed and marriage equality granted to all.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  13. #38
    Cyburbian TerraSapient's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ColoGI View post
    My title might be too long of an acronym, but do we need to start a TS Legal Defense Fund To Fight These MF'n MFers?
    That is so sweet!!! I love the support, but it is probably a bit too early for that. I talked to my attorney earlier and she is referring me to someone. I'm also waiting to hear back from a few nonprofit LGBT legal resource groups. With any luck I can get all this resolved without having to take it that far.
    Occupy Your Brain!

  14. #39
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    TS, after you detailed the loopholes, I'm realizing this is why my brother and his wife had to adopt their grandchild earlier this year. They had raised her for the last 4 yrs but wanted to put her on their health insurance, but the baby's mother's only address was their house. So I'm guessing that's where legal guardianship wouldn't work. She had to give up her parental rights so they could adopt her. I had no idea; well, we hadn't discussed it in detail.

    So maybe it's not a same-sex thing. Maybe it's an insurance company wanting to limit anyone they possibly could have to cover thing. Loopholes to exclude anyone possible thing.

  15. #40
    Cyburbian DetroitPlanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess View post
    TS, after you detailed the loopholes, I'm realizing this is why my brother and his wife had to adopt their grandchild earlier this year. They had raised her for the last 4 yrs but wanted to put her on their health insurance, but the baby's mother's only address was their house. So I'm guessing that's where legal guardianship wouldn't work. She had to give up her parental rights so they could adopt her. I had no idea; well, we hadn't discussed it in detail.

    So maybe it's not a same-sex thing. Maybe it's an insurance company wanting to limit anyone they possibly could have to cover thing. Loopholes to exclude anyone possible thing.
    Greedy-ass b@st@rds leaving kids without coverage to save a few bucks. Families who want to protect them and give them a safe life only to get screwed. I hate insurance companies.
    We hope for better things; it will arise from the ashes - Fr Gabriel Richard 1805

  16. #41
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by TerraSapient View post
    ...It is insane that as a working, tax-paying adult I cannot provide insurance to my son because some narrow minded, homophobic, jackholes took the time to write a policy that carefully isolates same sex families and keeps them from qualifying for family insurance in my county. I find moderate pleasure in knowing that these jackholes will now be paying for my child's insurance for me. I don't really like the idea, but since it is literally the only option we have right now, I will at least find some pleasure in that fact..

    Just want to point out one more time the obvious here:
    Well educated, tax paying, fully employed, law abiding citizen + well educated, tax paying, law abiding citizen who also served her country in the US Marine Corps = no health insurance for their child because of discrimination
    OTOH, maybe the legislation pre-dates same-gender families, and it wasn't carefully written, just composed to exclude deadbeat SO's kiddos or "illegals" or fill-in-the-blanks. And perhaps bringing it to the attention of the department in charge would get it revised. I think I'd be equally mad at the VA regs.

    (have not reviewed the language in the provision, I could be wrong)

    IIRC it was Rachel Maddow who did an interview about being out, and made the point that when folks were closeted, they were also alienated. With more folks living openly, everyone has gay friends/relatives/co-workers. I'm guessing that even in your conservative county, there are sympathizers in between the RMoney signs.

  17. #42
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    That ANY child could go without health insurance in this country regardless of how many mommies or daddies they have or how much they earn is the real tragedy IMO. If we are too stubborn to have universal health care, how about starting with universal health care for children?

    I'm pulling for you and your family TS!
    "Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost." - 1980 Republican presidential candidate Ronald Reagan

  18. #43
    Cyburbian SW MI Planner's avatar
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    So sorry that you have to go through this TS, and equally more frustrating that it seems most of the community supports such endeavors to discriminate.

  19. #44
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Just saw this thread, and ... I wish I could offer words of encouragement. I'm disgusted, really, especially considering that adoption to same sex couples is more or less an accepted practice throughout most of the country now.

    Yesterday, one of my co-workers showed me photos of she and her partner, dressed up at Bert and Ernie. Giving candy out to neighborhood kids. She said parents taking their kids door to door on the street cracked up, getting the reference. Parents didn't skip their house.

    I see SSCs here all the time, kids in hand, leading normal lives. It's a sight I'm starting to take for granted. No longer.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  20. #45
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    I do not know enough about the Health Care Act to know, but I wonder if any of the provisions in it will make it easier for you to insure your child (although maybe not through your employer). The problem does even extend to opposite sex couples. "Mrs" Cardinal and I are not married, but we have been engaged for seven years. When I worked for another company I could not add her to my insurance. Some companies are progressive enough to cover situations like yours and ours, but not many. With my own business growing I will likely add employees next year. This discussion gives me some things to think about.
    Anyone want to adopt a dog?

  21. #46
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    I'm so sorry to hear about this, to deny a child health insurance for any reason should be illegal. As should discriminating against SSCs. My husband was raised by a SSC. I adore my in-laws and they raised an amazing and caring man. I do have another suggestion unrelated to your asinine employer though.

    You said MW is a disabled vet. Is your wife too disabled to work? If so you could try and apply for 100% disability due to unemployability through VA, then the child would be covered by ChampVA. This would at least get the child covered while you deal with the employer.

  22. #47
    Cyburbian Linda_D's avatar
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    TS, I'm so sorry for your troubles with this!

    Quote Originally posted by Veloise View post
    With more folks living openly, everyone has gay friends/relatives/co-workers. I'm guessing that even in your conservative county, there are sympathizers in between the RMoney signs.
    I, too, live in a very politically conservative area, and I agree with Veloise that just because they're Republicans doesn't mean that they're necessarily also homophobes. When stereotypes change into real people, attitudes do change.
    If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. -- John F. Kennedy, January 20, 1961

  23. #48
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    Thought of another angle

    During the Oh-o early voting fiasco, the secretary of state attempted to impose different hours for different counties, based on whether they leaned red or blue. This was shot down by the supreme court, IIRC.

    Your legal beagle might want to look into what coverage details are afforded by more liberal counties, and play that.

  24. #49
    Cyburbian TerraSapient's avatar
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    Thanks for all the input everyone.

    It is entirely possible that the definitions of a dependent predate frequent and out attempts for SSCs to provide health insurance to their children. I don't know for sure. The health booklet my employer uses was written in 2006. I do not know what the language was like before that. Either way, there should be provisions for SSCs. It is ridiculous that as a mother I cannot insure my own son because my family is not recognized as legitimate.

    MW is not 100% disabled. She works normally, and will go back to work when we decide the time is right.

    I hesitate to rally my coworkers not just because the county is very red. I know many of my coworkers would/do sympathize with our situation. I don't know that the mass majority would. Regardless, it is still legal to fire someone for being gay in OH (as well as 28 other states). They could literally fire me today for being gay and there wouldn't be much I could to about it. I think any moves I make from here forward need to be under the careful guidance of an attorney so that I am as protected as possible.
    Occupy Your Brain!

  25. #50
    maudit anglais
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    Universal Healthcare FTW!

    TS, terrible to hear in this day and age you can be discriminated against like this...particularly the part about getting fired because of your sexual orientation

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