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Thread: The NEVERENDING cheating thread

  1. #26
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by imaplanner View post
    People change.A friend of mine got married about ten years ago to a good looking girl who after having a kid has just let herself go to the point of losing all physical attractiveness and she doesn't care. I don't know that I would blame him too much if he were to cheat- if he hasn't already. But he still loves her as a person and especially their daughter.
    .
    THEN YOU DIVORCE THE ONE ARE NO LONGER ATTRACTED TO, AND THEN GO FUCK EVERYONE IN SIGHT. Really, if you are no longer attractive to your spouse, wouldn't you want her to split first and screw later? And let me tell you, many men go to hell after they get married. If you are a guy who has gained 60 lbs and your wife has gained 20 and you think she is a pig, well, she's looking at you the same way.

    It is disgusting how many people blame their spouse for their "cheating" or their friends' cheating. Oh, you have cancer or some other horrible disease so I'll get sex elsewhere, ewww. That is NO excuse. How can you even say it's OK????? Sick, sick, sick.
    Last edited by Zoning Goddess; 14 Nov 2012 at 8:56 PM. Reason: Reflections on screwing around on cancer patients.

  2. #27
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess View post
    THEN YOU DIVORCE THE ONE ARE NO LONGER ATTRACTED TO, AND THEN GO FUCK EVERYONE IN SIGHT. Really, if you are no longer attractive to your spouse, wouldn't you want her to split first and screw later? And let me tell you, many men go to hell after they get married. If you are a guy who has gained 60 lbs and your wife has gained 20 and you think she is a pig, well, she's looking at you the same way.

    It is disgusting how many people blame their spouse for their "cheating" or their friends' cheating. Oh, you have cancer or some other horrible disease so I'll get sex elsewhere, ewww. That is NO excuse. How can you even say it's OK????? Sick, sick, sick.
    I think we are saying essentially the same thing. And I'm certainly not condoning cheating. I'm trying to be objective. My point is that every marriage is different and has its own issues that we as observers will never know the full extent. When my wife was going through treatment I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I cheated. I was presented with an opportunity and I did not act on it. I wouldnt have been able to live with myself because I love my wife too much and the thought of doing so disgusted me. But that's my situation.. My point was only that its not easy being celibate for years. Most people probably do not understand what that is like. My ultimate point is that every situation is different. Every relationship is different. I try not to judge people too harshly when I clearly don't know the whole story. I'm not intending to defend cheating, so sorry if that's how it comes across.
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  3. #28
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    Quote Originally posted by imaplanner View post
    I think we are saying essentially the same thing. And I'm certainly not condoning cheating. I'm trying to be objective. My point is that every marriage is different and has its own issues that we as observers will never know the full extent. When my wife was going through treatment I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I cheated. I was presented with an opportunity and I did not act on it. I wouldnt have been able to live with myself because I love my wife too much and the thought of doing so disgusted me. But that's my situation.. My point was only that its not easy being celibate for years. Most people probably do not understand what that is like. My ultimate point is that every situation is different. Every relationship is different. I try not to judge people too harshly when I clearly don't know the whole story. I'm not intending to defend cheating, so sorry if that's how it comes across.
    It sounded to me as if you were defending cheating, too.

    And you're right, you don't know what's going on in someone else's marriage, and you can't believe half of what a cheating spouse tells you because they'll say things just to make the faithful spouse look bad and deserving of being cheated on. I can say that because I know what went on in my marriage.

    If someone wants to leave, then they should leave. Don't wait for some lovely to take you by the hand and lead you out. It's cheap and cowardly. (Don't interpret this to mean that I say you're leaving; I believe you when you say you wouldn't cheat.)

  4. #29
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess View post
    THEN YOU DIVORCE THE ONE ARE NO LONGER ATTRACTED TO, AND THEN GO FUCK EVERYONE IN SIGHT. Really, if you are no longer attractive to your spouse, wouldn't you want her to split first and screw later? And let me tell you, many men go to hell after they get married. If you are a guy who has gained 60 lbs and your wife has gained 20 and you think she is a pig, well, she's looking at you the same way.

    It is disgusting how many people blame their spouse for their "cheating" or their friends' cheating. Oh, you have cancer or some other horrible disease so I'll get sex elsewhere, ewww. That is NO excuse. How can you even say it's OK????? Sick, sick, sick.
    Quote Originally posted by kms View post
    It sounded to me as if you were defending cheating, too.

    And you're right, you don't know what's going on in someone else's marriage, and you can't believe half of what a cheating spouse tells you because they'll say things just to make the faithful spouse look bad and deserving of being cheated on. I can say that because I know what went on in my marriage.

    If someone wants to leave, then they should leave. Don't wait for some lovely to take you by the hand and lead you out. It's cheap and cowardly. (Don't interpret this to mean that I say you're leaving; I believe you when you say you wouldn't cheat.)
    I don't think imaplanner was defending cheating. And yes, ZG, we're well aware that men get fat and ugly after their wedding day as well.

    His was simply an observation of human behavior.
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

  5. #30
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    soapbox time

    Off-topic:
    women who "let themselves go" do so for a multitude of reasons: she is likely depressed, may be having an identity crisis, may be nervous eating from juggling work, baby and marriage, and oh wait, maybe she's not happy in her marriage - guys don't often look in a mirror to say how am I a part of this situation (how could you not be, you are married to her) and most importantly what can I do to help her

  6. #31
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by luckless pedestrian View post
    Off-topic:
    women who "let themselves go" do so for a multitude of reasons: she is likely depressed, may be having an identity crisis, may be nervous eating from juggling work, baby and marriage, and oh wait, maybe she's not happy in her marriage - guys don't often look in a mirror to say how am I a part of this situation (how could you not be, you are married to her) and most importantly what can I do to help her
    The same can be said for men who "let themselves go".
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

  7. #32
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by btrage View post
    The same can be said for men who "let themselves go".
    exactly - my point is if someone is acting or looking different than before then maybe the question should be what can I do to help becasue obviously something is amiss - it's more easy to judge and look elsewhere for some people

  8. #33
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    I was reading a book last night and the author included a very insightful thought. He pointed out that we, mostly Americans, become so comfortable with our spouse that we no longer see or notice the particular features that we once appreciated. While this author is insanely in love with his wife, he rediscovered some of these features half way though a one month vacation in Italy. He pointed out that they were in a villa in a rural area of Tuscany, and there was nothing from his daily life there to distract him from seeing his wife and kids.

    I don't think that this is the whole reason, but perhaps people get so caught up in unimportant things in life, submerse them selves into TV shows that portray life quite a bit different than reality, and stop recognizing all the little things that their spouse does or how they are.
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  9. #34
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kms View post
    It sounded to me as if you were defending cheating, too.

    .
    That definitely wasn't my intent, although I guess in a way I am playing devils advocate. I guess I just kind of look at it from the standpoint of every relationship being different and using one lens to view cheaters and cheating behavior seems a bit simplistic. I've never been cheated on that I am aware of and I have never cheated, but I think everyone has dark times and moments of weakness and given the right set of circumstances I think people would be surprised what sort of thoughts can go through your brain. I was reading somewhere about the petraus thing that cheating among military and military spouses tends to be a higher percentage than civilians, because they are away from each other for extended periods of time. What goes through someones head when you haven't seen your spouse in a year or so. I don't know, maybe I am a bad person for even discussing this. I am in agreement with most of the comments on this thread and I'll probably leave it at that.
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  10. #35
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    Quote Originally posted by imaplanner View post
    That definitely wasn't my intent, although I guess in a way I am playing devils advocate. I guess I just kind of look at it from the standpoint of every relationship being different and using one lens to view cheaters and cheating behavior seems a bit simplistic. I've never been cheated on that I am aware of and I have never cheated, but I think everyone has dark times and moments of weakness and given the right set of circumstances I think people would be surprised what sort of thoughts can go through your brain. I was reading somewhere about the petraus thing that cheating among military and military spouses tends to be a higher percentage than civilians, because they are away from each other for extended periods of time. What goes through someones head when you haven't seen your spouse in a year or so. I don't know, maybe I am a bad person for even discussing this. I am in agreement with most of the comments on this thread and I'll probably leave it at that.
    No hard feelings.

    I Like what mskis wrote.

  11. #36
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by imaplanner View post
    My point was only that its not easy being celibate for years. Most people probably do not understand what that is like.
    Yeah, it's guy thing. Many, many people know what it's like. I was celibate for 10 freaking years after a divorce. And you are saying nobody knows what that is like? Not easy, but doable? Maybe it's so untenable for men, they'll cheat? That is SO not an excuse.

  12. #37
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess View post
    Yeah, it's guy thing. Many, many people know what it's like. I was celibate for 10 freaking years after a divorce. And you are saying nobody knows what that is like? Not easy, but doable? Maybe it's so untenable for men, they'll cheat? That is SO not an excuse.
    Nowhere did I say that was an excuse. What I'm sensing here is part of the problem is that I have never been cheated on or cheated on anyone and so I don't know the pain that might bring to people. I'm just speculating on human behavior but obviously that is insulting people. Maybe there shouldn't be a thread about this topic if nobody wants to actually discuss the issue philosophically.
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  13. #38
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    imaplanner - I will play

    I remember taking a cultural antropology class in the wayback machine in 1983 and my professor discussed the 7 year itch is actually a mating change that occurred in early human existence...

    I harped on you earlier because I often feel folks judge the lowly wife at home that may look middle aged, struggle with her weight and the like without understanding that maybe her life might not be a real picnic - I learned very early in my own marriage (25 years now) that marriage is a mystery: it's a mystery when it works and it's a mystery when it does not - I also learned to never judge a marriage on its face, even my very close, BFF friendships with other couples are marriages I could never pass judgement on, you never know what really goes on behind a closed door

    I have a running joke (that's sometimes not a joke) that there's 2 sides to my husband - charming and not so charming - and I ask hey when I get charming - even to the point of saying hey maybe I'm not the one for you anymore which he says is not true - people do act differently at home because that's where they are comfortable and unfortunately that's where stress often resides (kids, money, whatever it is) - so when a woman tells me they have a crush on my husband I say hey, you can have him for 6 months, I guarantee you won't make 6 weeks because there's this other side you don't see

    so yeah, it's not as simple as he's a jerk, she's a jerk - it's almost always extremely complicated

    except if abuse is involved becasue that stems from the spouse's baggage he/she brought to the relationship...

    and baggage from your upbringing, your parent's marriage also reflects on how you deal with conflict and day to day life that's hard to break

    in the case at hand - I think it was 2 people that caved - no one is a victim here - I do hope his wife dumps him for the only reason her life will likely get better if she does

  14. #39
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    I'm really fed up with this notion that the male species has the market cornered on cheating. Countless studies have shown women cheat just as much as men.

    http://abcnews.go.com/Health/women-c...9#.UKaJxuRlXws

    The reasons may be different, but does that make a difference? If it does, then the blows apart the concept that cheating is wrong regardless of the situation.
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  15. #40
    Cyburbian dobopoq's avatar
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    We Are Animals

    This sex scandal involving Petraeus / Broadwell / Kelley / Allen etc. has such a huge web of involvement that I don't think most of us have time to keep up with the growing body of detail. With that said I'll dive in with my views based on what I've learned so far:

    I had the impression that Petraeus was a general that liberals like. He didn't seem to carry himself with any swagger or arrogance. He seemed to present the image a man who despite being no stranger to war appears to have a healthy respect for peace and a sensible wariness to all out aggression. If not exactly physically intimidating, at least he comes across as fit and competent. He manages to lead the US to some kind of semi-honorable exit from Afghanistan and he is widely praised for his skill, diplomacy and good sense. He leaves his position as a four star general for head of the CIA on a high of career respect and accomplishment. By having a female writer "in-bed" with him during his clean up job in Iraq/Afghanistan, to get the scoop for his biography, the more progressive female friendly image of Petraeus and the military is burnished. But biology rears its head and ends up undermining the sterling PR.

    I think Petraeus and Broadwell both come across as quite human in all of this. In Broadwell's case - the many months away from spouse and kids while in a dangerous environment surrounded by members of the opposite sex would test the faithfulness of most relationships. For Petraeus - to suddenly have an attractive woman 20 years your younger spending lots of time with you and becoming close in an environment where females are very few in number would be a tremendous temptation. While Petraeus was certainly in a superior social position to Broadwell, his behavior cannot in this case be likened to an employer who promises a promotion to a female staff member in exchange for sex. No one is claiming Petraeus forced himself on Broadwell. She was in every way a willing participant in the affair.

    Our society is too uptight about sex. I have no problem separating the sex life of a public figure from my opinion of them in their public role. Lewinsky was a problem for the Clinton's relationship - not for my view of Bill Clinton's competence as president. But there's talk of Petraeus testimony on the attack in Benghazi and whether his affair had an impact on what happened there. Was Broadwell distracting him from his duties. It's possible. In his later role as CIA director was it a problem for national security that he had an affair? Was it a problem for the military? The military and CIA clearly think it was. It's not like Broadwell or Kelley were secret agents of Iran or North Korea. I still tend to think its all a little bit overblown. I guess I agree Petraeus needed to resign - but more because of the damage caused by Kelley than because of his actions with Broadwell.

    Stepping back from the details for a moment, this case clearly displays the mating interests of females. Maybe some men cheat because they're drunk on their power, but I think most men just want to have sex whenever they can. But for most men, getting casual sex doesn't come as easy as it does for women. It's only the men who stand out for what they do and have achieved in life, who get to enjoy the same kind of sexual access that an attractive woman does from age 18. There's a reason that rock stars can get sex with tons of groupies every night if they want. It's because they have a high status as successful musicians. Women desire them for their status as rock stars. They have risen far above the status of the average male. That is what makes so many women desire them. To be sure, there are plenty of males who lust after female rock stars. But in these cases, their success level as musicians matters far less to how much they are esteemed by men.

    Getting back to the case, Petraeus doesn't come across like a sleeze bag womanizer. I think he comes off like more of a goody too shoes goofball. I suspect Broadwell came onto him and he couldn't resist her charms. I think even the females of this forum would have to admit that his wife has very mediocre looks. I read somewhere that she was the daughter of a former president of West Point military academy. So this reveals to me the careerism of Petraeus. I doubt that his wife was ever very hot - even when young. But it's not like he was James Bond or something. He probably thought at the time her looks aren't that great but marrying her will be great for his career. Herein we see the differential timing of the rewards of marriage for men and women. A beautiful woman can often improve her status by marrying an older more successful male. But a man who marries young often has no way of know how successful he will later be. Petraeus is a classic case of a male whose breeding prospects have grown in the opposite direction from those of his wife. What's at issue isn't so much that an older woman is by definition unattractive to men, but rather that it usually takes a man who is highly desirable to women - decades to achieve that status as an adult. He could easily be married to a MILF but in his case he clearly chose a rather homely woman when he was young. His moral failure was to not consciously realize that given his new found erotic capital he was now dissatisfied with his marriage compared to his other options. He should have divorced his wife. But he was probably too concerned about how this would look for his career image. His choice to have an affair obviously proved more damaging.

    We haven't heard nearly as much about the marriage of Broadwell as we have about the poor finances and extravagance of the Kelley's marriage. Whether Broadwell is happily married or not, her choice of Petraeus for having an affair with is a clear indication that what gets many women's panties in a bunch is getting access to a high status male. The average woman is less tempted by the average man than vice versa. This is because women know how easy the average man is. And what is easily obtainable is a bore. At a deep reptilian level, Broadwell's brain and ovaries are telling her that if she get impregnated by Petraeus, her child will be the son or daughter of a 4-star general. This means not just resources, but status. The power of these instincts made the affair for Broadwell - not just fun, but potentially wise from a reproductive standpoint.

    This case is yet another example of a high status male who has his career ended by having an affair with a female from a lower social position. These cases say as much about the hypergamous motivations of women as they do about the sexual appetites of men. But as a culture, we tend to focus on the male in these cases because he is the one who is the public figure and so therefore the one who is ripe for a fall. But I've already commented extensively on this subject in this thread Titled "Why Don't Powerful Women Have Sex Scandals: http://www.cyburbia.org/forums/showthread.php?t=44929, where I touch on the affairs of Spitzer, Letterman, Schwarzenegger, Tiger Woods, and Anthony Weiner.

    I think when Kelley told the FBI about Broadwell's threats, she knew she would be jeopardizing Petraeus's career. Given her deteriorating finances I think her actions show a desire for malice against both Broadwell and Petraeus as much as they do an actual desire for protection from Broadwell. Though to be honest, we haven't heard any concrete details on the substance of Broadwell's threats. How do you wind up with millions of debt when you're married to a surgeon? Whether Kelley had an affair with Petraeus or not, both she and her husband seem like disgusting examples of material excess, narcissism and pathological social climbing.

    Nothing is really tragic here. There's no evidence that Petraeus jeopardized US national security to some evil empire. He's 60 and I'm sure he's earned plenty of money to feel comfortable for the rest of his life. What happens to his marriage with his wife is their problem. Broadwell has a husband and two kids of her own. That situation has to be a mess. But I wonder how sales of Broadwell's book are doing. I'll bet the scandal has been good for it. I think Kelley is looking for any kind of attention she can get to raise some money and get herself out of the financial pit she and her husband have dug for themselves.

    Stories like these prove irresistibly salacious because on some level all of us struggle with our desires and loyalties. The case arouses a mixture of scorn and envy. You just don't hear about examples of single men having affairs with married women in much higher social positions. Usually such women don't date or desire men far beneath their station. But another reason you don't hear about high status women having affairs is because the men with whom they would cheat have far less to gain by making their affair public. Men wield no reproductive threat against women, so you don't hear about the Carly Fiorina's, Martha Stewarts and Oprah Winfrey's of the world having affairs. But I do think that as increasing numbers of women out-earn their husbands, there are increasing temptations for them to cheat - especially when their work takes them away on long business trips.

    For the most part in life, the perpetual sexual desire of men is balanced by the pickiness of women. And the ease of sexual access that the average woman can enjoy is balanced by the extreme scarcity of men that they find truly remarkable and irresistible. Society is full of pressures to restrict our sexual urges. The desire of society to control population, prevent unknown paternity, and keep us producing goods and services is always conspiring to repress what we would really like to be doing - *ucking like animals. So we labor on in our gender assigned outfits fulfilling our roles as breadwinners and nurturers. Society tries it's best to keep the blinders on so we don't stray from the path of a clear lineage for the creation and passage of wealth from one generation to the next and perpetuation of the social classes of society that maintain the barriers between us which confer or restrict our privileges accordingly. We strive on as sniveling beasts always on the lookout for an unclaimed booty of material or reproductive resources that we can claim for ourselves unbeknownst to others. We are in fact animals.
    Last edited by dobopoq; 18 Nov 2012 at 4:31 PM.
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  16. #41
    Cyburbian mike gurnee's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dobopoq View post
    This sex scandal involving Petraeus / Broadwell / Kelley / Allen etc. has such a huge web of involvement that I don't think most of us have time to keep up with the growing body of detail. With that said I'll dive in with my views based on what I've learned so far:

    I had the impression that Petraeus was a general that liberals like. He didn't seem to carry himself with any swagger or arrogance. He seemed to present the image a man who despite being no stranger to war appears to have a healthy respect for peace and a sensible wariness to all out aggression. If not exactly physically intimidating, at least he comes across as fit and competent. He manages to lead the US to some kind of semi-honorable exit from Afghanistan and he is widely praised for his skill, diplomacy and good sense. He leaves his position as a four star general for head of the CIA on a high of career respect and accomplishment. By having a female writer "in-bed" with him during his clean up job in Iraq/Afghanistan, to get the scoop for his biography, the more progressive female friendly image of Petraeus and the military is burnished. But biology rears its head and ends up undermining the sterling PR.

    I think Petraeus and Broadwell both come across as quite human in all of this. In Broadwell's case - the many months away from spouse and kids while in a dangerous environment surrounded by members of the opposite sex would test the faithfulness of most relationships. For Petraeus - to suddenly have an attractive woman 20 years your younger spending lots of time with you and becoming close in an environment where females are very few in number would be a tremendous temptation. While Petraeus was certainly in a superior social position to Broadwell, his behavior cannot in this case be likened to an employer who promises a promotion to a female staff member in exchange for sex. No one is claiming Petraeus forced himself on Broadwell. She was in every way a willing participant in the affair.

    Our society is too uptight about sex. I have no problem separating the sex life of a public figure from my opinion of them in their public role. Lewinsky was a problem for the Clinton's relationship - not for my view of Bill Clinton's competence as president. But there's talk of Petraeus testimony on the attack in Benghazi and whether his affair had an impact on what happened there. Was Broadwell distracting him from his duties. It's possible. In his later role as CIA director was it a problem for national security that he had an affair? Was it a problem for the military? The military and CIA clearly think it was. It's not like Broadwell or Kelley were secret agents of Iran or North Korea. I still tend to think its all a little bit overblown. I guess I agree Petraeus needed to resign - but more because of the damage caused by Kelley than because of his actions with Broadwell.

    Stepping back from the details for a moment, this case clearly displays the mating interests of females. Maybe some men cheat because they're drunk on their power, but I think most men just want to have sex whenever they can. But for most men, getting casual sex doesn't come as easy as it does for women. It's only the men who stand out for what they do and have achieved in life, who get to enjoy the same kind of sexual access that an attractive woman does from age 18. There's a reason that rock stars can get sex with tons of groupies every night if they want. It's because they have a high status as successful musicians. Women desire them for their status as rock stars. They have risen far above the status of the average male. That is what makes so many women desire them. To be sure, there are plenty of males who lust after female rock stars. But in these cases, their success level as musicians matters far less to how much they are esteemed by men.

    Getting back to the case, Petraeus doesn't come across like a sleeze bag womanizer. I think he comes off like more of a goody too shoes goofball. I suspect Broadwell came onto him and he couldn't resist her charms. I think even the females of this forum would have to admit that his wife has very mediocre looks. I read somewhere that she was the daughter of a former president of West Point military academy. So this reveals to me the careerism of Petraeus. I doubt that his wife was ever very hot - even when young. But it's not like he was James Bond or something. He probably thought at the time her looks aren't that great but marrying her will be great for his career. Herein we see the differential timing of the rewards of marriage for men and women. A beautiful woman can often improve her status by marrying an older more successful male. But a man who marries young often has no way of know how successful he will later be. Petraeus is a classic case of a male whose breeding prospects have grown in the opposite direction from those of his wife. What's at issue isn't so much that an older woman is by definition unattractive to men, but rather that it usually takes a man who is highly desirable to women - decades to achieve that status as an adult. He could easily be married to a MILF but in his case he clearly chose a rather homely woman when he was young. His moral failure was to not consciously realize that given his new found erotic capital he was now dissatisfied with his marriage compared to his other options. He should have divorced his wife. But he was probably too concerned about how this would look for his career image. His choice to have an affair obviously proved more damaging.

    We haven't heard nearly as much about the marriage of Broadwell as we have about the poor finances and extravagance of the Kelley's marriage. Whether Broadwell is happily married or not, her choice of Petraeus for having an affair with is a clear indication that what gets many women's panties in a bunch is getting access to a high status male. The average woman is less tempted by the average man than vice versa. This is because women know how easy the average man is. And what is easily obtainable is a bore. At a deep reptilian level, Broadwell's brain and ovaries are telling her that if she get impregnated by Petraeus, her child will be the son or daughter of a 4-star general. This means not just resources, but status. The power of these instincts made the affair for Broadwell - not just fun, but potentially wise from a reproductive standpoint.

    This case is yet another example of a high status male who has his career ended by having an affair with a female from a lower social position. These cases say as much about the hypergamous motivations of women as they do about the sexual appetites of men. But as a culture, we tend to focus on the male in these cases because he is the one who is the public figure and so therefore the one who is ripe for a fall. But I've already commented extensively on this subject in this thread Titled "Why Don't Powerful Women Have Sex Scandals: http://www.cyburbia.org/forums/showthread.php?t=44929, where I touch on the affairs of Spitzer, Letterman, Schwarzenegger, Tiger Woods, and Anthony Weiner.

    I think when Kelley told the FBI about Broadwell's threats, she knew she would be jeopardizing Petraeus's career. Given her deteriorating finances I think her actions show a desire for malice against both Broadwell and Petraeus as much as they do an actual desire for protection from Broadwell. Though to be honest, we haven't heard any concrete details on the substance of Broadwell's threats. How do you wind up with millions of debt when you're married to a surgeon? Whether Kelley had an affair with Petraeus or not, both she and her husband seem like disgusting examples of material excess, narcissism and pathological social climbing.

    Nothing is really tragic here. There's no evidence that Petraeus jeopardized US national security to some evil empire. He's 60 and I'm sure he's earned plenty of money to feel comfortable for the rest of his life. What happens to his marriage with his wife is their problem. Broadwell has a husband and two kids of her own. That situation has to be a mess. But I wonder how sales of Broadwell's book are doing. I'll bet the scandal has been good for it. I think Kelley is looking for any kind of attention she can get to raise some money and get herself out of the financial pit she and her husband have dug for themselves.

    Stories like these prove irresistibly salacious because on some level all of us struggle with our desires and loyalties. The case arouses a mixture of scorn and envy. You just don't hear about examples of single men having affairs with married women in much higher social positions. Usually such women don't date or desire men far beneath their station. But another reason you don't hear about high status women having affairs is because the men with whom they would cheat have far less to gain by making their affair public. Men wield no reproductive threat against women, so you don't hear about the Carly Fiorina's, Martha Stewarts and Oprah Winfrey's of the world having affairs. But I do think that as increasing numbers of women out-earn their husbands, there are increasing temptations for them to cheat - especially when their work takes them away on long business trips.

    For the most part in life, the perpetual sexual desire of men is balanced by the pickiness of women. And the ease of sexual access that the average woman can enjoy is balanced by the extreme scarcity of men that they find truly remarkable and irresistible. Society is full of pressures to restrict our sexual urges. The desire of society to control population, prevent unknown paternity, and keep us producing goods and services is always conspiring to repress what we would really like to be doing - *ucking like animals. So we labor on in our gender assigned outfits fulfilling our roles as breadwinners and nurturers. Society tries it's best to keep the blinders on so we don't stray from the path of a clear lineage for the creation and passage of wealth from one generation to the next and perpetuation of the social classes of society that maintain the barriers between us which confer or restrict our privileges accordingly. We strive on as sniveling beasts always on the lookout for an unclaimed booty of material or reproductive resources that we can claim for ourselves unbeknownst to others. We are in fact animals.
    Did anyone read all of this? Not I. I tried, I really did.

  17. #42
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Let's just pick this s#it apart, bit by bit...

    Quote Originally posted by dobopoq View post

    I had the impression that Petraeus was a general that liberals like.

    "What does that mean? Who do liberals like? And why."

    He didn't seem to carry himself with any swaggor or arrogance.

    "Was he supposed to?" Are you channeling Patton?

    By having a female writer "in-bed" with him during his clean up job in Iraq/Afghanistan, to get the scoop for his biography, the more progressive female friendly image of Petraeus and the military is burnished. But biology rears its head and ends up undermining the sterling PR. "Would you say that about a 25 y.o. guy writing about a 50 y.o. woman? No. In your world, no woman could be so important, a man could be "embedded" in their world. Your "in-bed" comment is so cheesy."


    What's at issue !!isn't so much that an older woman is by definition unattractive to men. ("Not in most older women's lives, when you're 70 and begging for sex from a 60 y.o. woman, you'll laugh at your younger self. How incredibly narcissistic and unrealistic. Who do you you think you'll have sex with when your're 50? 18 year olds; you'll be invisible to them)

    Our society is too uptight about sex. "No, it's not. If some idiot actually marries you one day and you come home sick and find her screwing another guy, you'll change your mind."

    Stepping back from the details for a moment, this case clearly displays the mating interests of females. "You have no fucking clue".

    I suspect Broadwell came onto him ("do you know this for sure") and he couldn't resist her charms. I think even the females of this forum would have to admit that his wife has very mediocre looks; nope, she looks like the rest of us in middle age.. I read somewhere that she was the daughter of a former president of West Point military academy. So this reveals to me the careerism of Petraeus "you are making an assumption". I doubt that his wife was ever very hot ("Have you seen any pics of her when they got married? Bet not." )- even when young.


    The power of these instincts made the affair for Broadwell - not just fun, but potentially wise from a reproductive standpoint. ("Sure, married, two kids, WHY IN HELL DO YOU THINK SHE WANTED TO GET PREGNANT???") God, you're a clueless man.

    This case is yet another example of a high status male who has his career ended by having an affair with a female from a lower social position ("Your assumption. Who says she's from a lower social position???").

    I think when Kelley told the FBI about Broadwell's threats, she knew she would be jeopardizing Petraeus's career. Given her deteriorating finances I think her actions show a desire for malice against both Broadwell and Petraeus as much as they do an actual desire for protection from Broadwell. Though to be honest, we haven't heard any concrete details on the substance of Broadwell's threats. How do you wind up with millions of debt when you're married to a surgeon? Whether Kelley had an affair with Petraeus or not, both she and her husband seem like disgusting examples of material excess, narcissism and pathological social climbing. (I'll buy into this)
    You are a misogynist,I am sure.

  18. #43
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by mike gurnee View post
    Did anyone read all of this? Not I. I tried, I really did.
    I wish I would have wrote this. I really do.

  19. #44
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Richmond Jake View post
    I wish I would have wrote this. I really do.
    I'll admit that I use the "ignore" feature for certain Cyburbians so I don't have to read their rants. Sadly, when someone quotes them, the quotes aren't suppressed as well.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  20. #45
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Do we know for sure that dobo-dick is not a sock puppet from some one trying to drum up business? He just seems to turn up at the oddest times. But maybe that's just because he's freaking nuts.

  21. #46
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    Grand Rapids, Michigan (Detroit ex-pat since 2004)
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    There's an ignore feature?!?

    Quote Originally posted by ofos View post
    I'll admit that I use the "ignore" feature for certain Cyburbians so I don't have to read their rants. Sadly, when someone quotes them, the quotes aren't suppressed as well.
    Please provide coordinates, thanx!

    ETA: er...unless that feature is in effect on moi.
    Last edited by Veloise; 18 Nov 2012 at 10:16 PM.

  22. #47
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Veloise View post
    Please provide coordinates, thanx!
    Go to Forum:Community:Memberlist. Find the username and click on it. There will be an options list directly under their picture (or no picture) that looks like this:

    Add as friend
    Send private message
    Send email
    Add to ignore list
    Find latest posts
    Find latest started threads
    View articles
    View blog entries

    I think you'll know which one to choose.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  23. #48
    Cyburbian Otis's avatar
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    Not too long ago I had a great opportunity to cheat. Mrs. Otis was out of town and one of her friends called.

    Me: [Mrs. Otis} isn't here.
    Her: I know. That's why I called. I'm just sitting here taking a bath ...
    Me: Oh, since [Mrs. Otis] is away you thought you'd get naked and give me a call?
    Her: Yeah, something like that. You're the only one of my friends' husbands that I haven't gone to bed with ....
    Me:

    Some background: This woman is a knockout with a body to kill for. I have been naked with her in the hot tub with Mrs. Otis so I know whereof I speak. HOWEVER, she is not worth wrecking a marriage for. I'm hoping that all the other friends whose husbands she screwed were involved in three-ways with her (I know some were -- I know way too much about this woman) so went along her and her husband getting it on. If not, jeez, what kind of a friend is she? I told my wife about it and she just chalked it up to that's who she is.

  24. #49
    Cyburbian mike gurnee's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ofos View post
    I'll admit that I use the "ignore" feature for certain Cyburbians so I don't have to read their rants. Sadly, when someone quotes them, the quotes aren't suppressed as well.
    Sorry about that. I wasn't thinking after looking at a script for Mad Men.

  25. #50
    Cyburbian
    Registered
    Aug 2001
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    Western Pennsylvania
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    3,095
    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess View post
    You are a misogynist,I am sure.
    You say things so much better than I can. Thank you...

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