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Thread: the never ending Amazon product review link page

  1. #1
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
    Aug 2005
    in a meeting

    the never ending Amazon product review link page

    Veloise posted this one on Facebook and I laughed so hard I was in tears and had to leave my office to compose myself:


    I think it's great we live in a time/place where even products purchased online can be forays into snark so use this thread to post funny product reviews

    and don't forget to check out what visitors also viewed and purchased becasue that's hilarious too! unicorn meat? omg

  2. #2
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
    Mar 1996
    Upstate New York
    Blog entries
    I think I poited about the reviews for Bic for Her pens in the not-too-distant past.

    I bought this pen (in error, evidently) to write my reports of each day's tree felling activities in my job as a lumberjack. It is no good. It slips from between my calloused, gnarly fingers like a gossamer thread gently descending to earth between two giant redwood trunks.


    Normally my hand writing is defined and strong, as if chiselled in granite by the Greek gods themselves, however upon signing my name I noticed that my signature was uncharacteristically meandering and looping. More worryingly the dots above the I's manifested themselves as hearts, and I found myself finishing off the signature with a smiley face and kisses. Obviously I had no choice but to challenge the delivery man to a gun fight on the rim of an erupting volcano in order to reassert my dominance.


    You would think the marketing experts at BIC could do better than this. You call this a female-friendly pen? Look at the blatant phallocentric design! This is just the same old patriarchal tool as before. It may be packaged with deceptively delicate colours, but inside it's filled with your typical man-centred ink.


    I have asked my husband if I am allowed these, he says that my weekly allowance for lady things is sufficent, and that "if there is any writing to be done I will do it thank you"

    I realised of course that he is right as in all things, and this is an unobtainable dream and I will stick to my pink crayons.


    Everyone knows that when a woman gets her period, she is unable to maintain her grip on larger, manly sized pens due to loss of blood platelets. Finally, a company is addressing our needs!! This pen is light-weight enough even for the most anemic of ladies. Now I can write my grocery lists and love letters to my husband, no matter what time of the month it is! No more heavy, regular man pens for me!!!
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  3. #3
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
    Dec 2005
    Wishing I were in Asia somewhere!
    Blog entries

    Banana Slicer!

    This is the best one I've come across recently....


    "For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I'll call it South Side Story."
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
    May 2004
    Grand Rapids, Michigan (Detroit ex-pat since 2004)

    Happy to help!

    Quote Originally posted by luckless pedestrian View post
    Veloise posted this one on Facebook and I laughed so hard I was in tears and had to leave my office to compose myself ....
    For more fun, look up the Three Wolf Shirt reviews (I believe I first discovered that thanks to Dan) and the binders. For women.

    On an authentic note, last week I made a couple of major purchases, and spent quite a few hours on Amazon checking reviews for similar products as well as the ones I ended up getting.

  5. #5
    Aug 2001
    Western Pennsylvania
    I read the banana slicer reviews today, and I had a good laugh. Unlike lp, I was in the great outdoors and could laugh to my heart's content.

  6. #6
    Feb 2013
    cheyenne, wyoming
    Have you read the "Unemployed Again" review about the banana slicer forced a ninja assassin back to being an assassin...instead of (yep an expert banana slicer)

    seriously...whenever i'm feeling down at work I just read one of those reviews and start feeling better...immediately

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