The inside scoop on being Catholic

[Maister]

Confession: I am not Catholic. I am not even from Buffalo. My only ties to Catholicism are that I dated a Catholic girl in high school and had another friendly acquaintance in high school who later became a priest. So for the Catholics out there (and even the recovering Catholics too), what can you tell us about the inside scoop of being Catholic? No we're not looking for stories of secret pedophelia, nor is this thread intended to be a platform to recount all the historic failings of the church, but rather to find out things like:
- did/do you really eat fish every single freakin' Friday?
- are there certain prayers priests tend to dole out in greater quantities for repentance at confession?
- you ever get asked to do anything strange as penance? (remember, we're not talking pedophelia here)
- did you go to Catholic school, and how if you also attended public school how did you think it compared?
- were school dances excessively monitored/chaperoned affairs?
- did a priest ever stay for dinner at your house and did your family tend to treat clergy with greater deference than you would any other guest?

Tell us about the Catholic experience on personal level, what do/did you like or dislike about it? Tell us about some things we might not otherwise glean about the world of Catholicism outside of tv shows, movies, or other media portrayals?

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[Bubba]

Two warnings in the thread starter against discussing pedophelia...maybe you shouldn't have started this thread.

With that said...

My wife was rasied Catholic. The last time we visited her paternal grandparents, who live 30 or so miles south of Buffalo, we did have to go out for fried fish for Friday dinner. Had to. There was no discussion.

[kms]

- did/do you really eat fish every single freakin' Friday? - only during Lent

- are there certain prayers priests tend to dole out in greater quantities for repentance at confession? Ten Our Fathers
- you ever get asked to do anything strange as penance? (remember, we're not talking pedophelia here) no, but my kids have been told to do good deeds

- did you go to Catholic school, and how if you also attended public school how did you think it compared? No. I was registered at parochial school for 1st grade, but my dad was transferred, and I went to public school when we moved. I remember feeling relieved, although I knew nothing about Catholic school.

- were school dances excessively monitored/chaperoned affairs? The school dances at my kids' middle school were, and for slow dances, they were told to "leave enough room for the Holy Spirit" between each other.

- did a priest ever stay for dinner at your house and did your family tend to treat clergy with greater deference than you would any other guest? Not growing up. My mother's deference to priests bordered on terror. I have had priests to dinner, gone to restaurants with priests, and participated in volunteer environmental acitivities with one. The ones I know are really like the rest of us. They get hungry, get mad, swear, and have good senses of humor. My mother almost wilted when she overheard me tell a joke about the Pope and the Queen of England to our priest after Mass. He enjoyed the joke enough to ask me to repeat it so he could share it.

[michaelskis]

- did/do you really eat fish every single freakin' Friday?
No, only at lent and sometimes it is total veggie. (Pizza with sun dried tomatoes, artichoke hearts, and green olives... HMMMM)

- are there certain prayers priests tend to dole out in greater quantities for repentance at confession?
Yes... and I spend a lot of time in confession and the priests are always very comforting.

- you ever get asked to do anything strange as penance? (remember, we're not talking pedophelia here)
No, not that I would consider strange.

- did a priest ever stay for dinner at your house and did your family tend to treat clergy with greater deference than you would any other guest?
Yes, we have had our priest over for dinner when we joined our current church. We treated him like any other guest and even offered him a beer.

I have a little different perspective on being Catholic since I did not become Catholic until my last year of College. (of all times...) I felt something was missing in my life, and I have been raised Lutheran, until middle school. Then we just did not go to church anymore. I attended all sorts of churches, including non-denominational dancing in the isle types, Baptist, Presbyterian, and even some non-christian varieties. I personally felt the most comfortable attending the Catholic church and it was not even a close comparison.

For me, it is about my personal connection to the church and it is still a VERY important part of my life. I do pray several times a day, we say our meal prayer at every meal... even B-Dubs, and I make the best attempt possible to go to church every Sunday and on Holy Days of Obligation. It does not always happen though. I will never tell someone that they are going to hell because they are not Catholic. Might for a range of other reasons, but not because they are not going to Catholic Church.

[WSU MUP Student]

I was raised Catholic Lite. Does that count?

We would almost always have fish on Friday growing up (my parents still do) and when I would spend the night at a Catholic friend's house and have to go to church with them in the morning I would never miss a beat following along with the prayers... except they all seemed to like to end the Lord's Prayer a line or two early and rush out of the church as soon as they received communion.

Growing up we would often have our priest over for dinner, but it was a country parish and the priest was a full-time priest without another job. Not being Catholic, he didn't have to waste time taking confessions and we lived about a half mile from the church, so why not? For quite a while, we had a priest from the Philippines and he would also have all the families in the area over a couple times a summer for a traditional Filipino pig roast. I still remember him coming out of his house in his traditional garb chanting and swinging a giant machete to carve up the pig!

My wife is Catholic (and I married her anyway ) but in the time I have known her, I've seen her go to two Catholic church services - one was Easter the year before we were married because her aunt and uncle invited us and offered to take us to a very nice brunch afterwards if we came and the other was Christmas Eve the year we were married. Growing up though, it sounds like they never missed a service unless they were traveling somewhere. Her parents go each week and when they are in Florida for the winter they like to go to a militant Catholic service every few weeks (I have a feeling they would go every week but there's a perfectly normal Catholic church much closer to their house). When our daughter was baptized we did it in the Episcopal church that we attend. My wife thought about putting up a fight and trying to do it in the Catholic church but she has decided that she doesn't agree with them on about 95% of social issues. Her parents were at first a bit upset that we were not going to baptize her in the Catholic church but they decided that they would come and sit through a couple services the two weeks before the ceremony and they realized that the service was almost identical. Deep down I think they understood why we would wanted to go with Catholicism Lite, this not being the dark ages and all, but that they wanted us to go with a Catholic baptism out of tradition.

On an (un)related note, my wife, who is named Kathleen, hates when I play this song:

[beach_bum]

- did/do you really eat fish every single freakin' Friday?
- are there certain prayers priests tend to dole out in greater quantities for repentance at confession?
- you ever get asked to do anything strange as penance? (remember, we're not talking pedophelia here)
- did you go to Catholic school, and how if you also attended public school how did you think it compared?
- were school dances excessively monitored/chaperoned affairs?
- did a priest ever stay for dinner at your house and did your family tend to treat clergy with greater deference than you would any other guest?

Tell us about the Catholic experience on personal level, what do/did you like or dislike about it? Tell us about some things we might not otherwise glean about the world of Catholicism outside of tv shows, movies, or other media portrayals?

-No, but Veggie pizza. Our Church had our fish fries during Lent. Again, no meat Fridays was only during Lent. Sometimes we would just eat at midnight
-Not really, our fathers and hail marys
-I went to Catholic School from K-12, first public school was college and a few summers in HS at community programs. Its not 'that' bad, in fact I enjoyed it. There is a real sense of community because of being tied to a faith and you saw your classmates and their familes on weekends at Church, etc. Because of this I know entire families of friends and still keep in touch with many parents and sibilings of school friends. I had many nuns and priests as teachers and they were some of my favorites!

In general I think there and many 'stereotypes' of Catholics and it tends to be the butt of jokes, but really, most of the stereotypes are not true or greatly exagerated. Its a wonderful faith community if you choose it.

[otterpop]

- did/do you really eat fish every single freakin' Friday?
We did before the Church raised the ban and after that ony during lent.

- are there certain prayers priests tend to dole out in greater quantities for repentance at confession?
I recall you tried to get Father Michael for confession, as opposed to Father Francis. Father Michael was less judgemental and went easier on the prayers - usually Hail Marys. Father Francis was more of a hard-ass and gave a lot of Our Fathers.
At catholic school we were required to go to confession before Easter. We even got out of class to go. I recall as an 11 year old that my sins were kind of light, so sometimes I would make up one or two so I wasn't wasting the priest's time and then toss lying in at the end, so I would be good with the Big Guy.

- you ever get asked to do anything strange as penance? (remember, we're not talking pedophelia here)
No,

- did a priest ever stay for dinner at your house and did your family tend to treat clergy with greater deference than you would any other guest?
No. Though after my son's baptism, we had a little party at a friend's house and the priest and I talked briefly about me returning to the fold. But it was a no go. Six and a half years of Catholic school education and a belief in natural selection had pretty much driven me away.


-did you go to Catholic school, and how if you also attended public school how did you think it compared?
I went from the middle of sixth grade through high school. Never went to public school

- were school dances excessively monitored/chaperoned affairs?
There were chaperones but nothing too restrictive,

[Suburb Repairman]

Not Catholic (recovering Church of Christ), but this thread got me looking forward to lent. Not because I participate, but because the Catholic Church here does a really great fish fry and grilled fish on the Fridays during lent. Inexpensive & delicious!

[hilldweller]

Two warnings in the thread starter against discussing pedophelia...maybe you shouldn't have started this thread.

I don't like the tone of this thread either.

[luckless pedestrian]

- did/do you really eat fish every single freakin' Friday?

only during Lent - my parents embrced Vatican II wholeheartedly - now I do during Lent but not a Lent goes by that I forget at least once on a Friday

- are there certain prayers priests tend to dole out in greater quantities for repentance at confession?

When I was a kid, we used to crowd the line to the Pastor becasue he just doled out prayers and some good advice - but the assistant pastor was younger and he was into atonement of our sins which means doing something - lol

- you ever get asked to do anything strange as penance? (remember, we're not talking pedophelia here)

See above - atonement meant addressing the sin

- did you go to Catholic school, and how if you also attended public school how did you think it compared?

Catholic schools for 12 years - I do think I received a good educaiton but my Mom has said she had wished she had sent me to the public high school becasue they at the time were top ranked in the state - in the big picture, it was fine...

- were school dances excessively monitored/chaperoned affairs?

Yes but so were the public school dances

- did a priest ever stay for dinner at your house and did your family tend to treat clergy with greater deference than you would any other guest?

my uncle was a priest so yeah, clergy was a part of my upbringing - he was awesome and I was very sad when he died 13 years ago...and yes, Father got the best seat at the restaurant, the best deal on his Oldsmobile, etc etc and we were treated better becasue of his relationship with us - he was a great guy and gave me great advice most notably in college and into my 20's

See comments above in blue

[Linda_D]

I'm a recovered Catholic Lite as my parents weren't very good Catholics, either.

I never went to Catholic school (my father was a firm believer in public schools), didn't go to confession or Mass often, and only ate fish on Fridays during Lent. Obviously, we never had a priest come for dinner much less had any in the family. However, I became a much better Catholic in my twenties and thirties, but I have since distanced myself again as, like WSU MUP Student's wife, I disagree with at least 95% of the Catholic Church's social policies. I have no problem with the religion. I have a big problem with the men who run it, especially with their election of an ex-junior Nazi as Pope. It wasn't only Jews, gypsies, and homosexuals who were butchered in the concentration camps but Catholics and especially Catholic religious as well. Another bad decision made for political expediency.

[ColoGI]

I'm a recovered Catholic Lite as my parents weren't very good Catholics, either.

.

My sister is very active and religious. I gave it up in second grade, and I'm sorry it took me that long to figure it out, as maybe I could have saved my sister.

[Maister]

Can someone explain the Bingo - Church connection thing to me?

In many ways is seems being 'Catholic' is as much part of participating within a particular culture as it is about a system of religous practices or beliefs

[Raf]

I grew up catholic. It kinda began to fade when I started college and really it took a back seat. I would go to church (old mission san luis obispo i might add) but what college student wants to get up at 10am for service? None. So when i did go I went to the 6pm "college mass" or as one of my best gal pals called it, "the sinners mass". The nail in the coffin was when i started to date mrs cpsu (she is a recovering mormon). Our daughter is baptized in the church, but our son is not. I guess i grew up with a very "liberal" priest in Catholic Eyes. Father Jerry Ryle (read an article about him here) had a lot of compassion, especially for us kids attending the parish school (attended catholic school grades 1-8). By compassion I mean teaching us to to love and care for everyone, no matter what their past. This included those inflicted with AIDS (remember mid/late 80's it was known as the "gay" disease) and also standing up to to terrible acts supported by our government in Latin America. He was a stand up guy and really molded my beliefs that everyone is a child of God, no matter their race, creed, sexual orientation, etc and that we need to be more hands on with those that are less fortuante. Father Ryle was a great leader imo and I wish I was older so I could share a nice bottle of wine with him because the man sure loves his wine

- did/do you really eat fish every single freakin' Friday?
No, just during lent. And it was no-meat. Evidently bacon bits don't count as meat, so I was able to use it in Salads
- are there certain prayers priests tend to dole out in greater quantities for repentance at confession?
Um, not really. Confession was more a conversation and it really helped me through some issues when i did go.
- you ever get asked to do anything strange as penance? (remember, we're not talking pedophelia here)
No.
- did you go to Catholic school, and how if you also attended public school how did you think it compared?
Cahtolic School prepared me for college. That was grades (1-8). High School was a breeze. Walked into Freshman Algebra and day 2 they placed me out of it and into soph geometry. HS English I read books that I already had read grades earlier. HS didn't really toughen up until about the last half of Junior year where i challenged myself in Honors and AP classes. It defiantly was well worth the sacrifice my parents made. Our local PS district wasn't good. I can't afford catholic school for my daughter, but our local PS district is one of the best in state and she is in good hands.
- were school dances excessively monitored/chaperoned affairs?
School dances didn't start till junior high and yes/no. I made out for the first time at one.
- did a priest ever stay for dinner at your house and did your family tend to treat clergy with greater deference than you would any other guest?
Absolutely and the spoke in Spanish the whole time. My mom brought out her best for Father Ryle. We enjoyed his company as he knew both myself and my bro from school.

Real Catholics know how to party. Parish Festival- booze fest. Oktoberfest, Italian Catholic Federation Dinners all revolved around booze. After parties for communion, weddings, confirmation, etc you better believe that was booze, I mean common on Jesus turned water into wine... Party on Man

[stroskey]

I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school all through high school, my dad goes to church every single morning, I worked in the rectory for four years, and my wife was baptized while we were in college; so I know the basics.

- did/do you really eat fish every single freakin' Friday?

We don't eat meat on Friday during Lent but it doesn't mean we have to eat fish. Sometimes a cheese pizza will suffice. All other Fridays are normal.

- are there certain prayers priests tend to dole out in greater quantities for repentance at confession?

I haven't been to confession in almost a decade but we always had to do ten Hail Mary's and a few Our Fathers.

- you ever get asked to do anything strange as penance?

No.

- did you go to Catholic school, and how if you also attended public school how did you think it compared?

The religious aspect of Catholic school is not as strong as you may think. In fact, the protestant who attended Baptist and similar private schools are much more "churchy" than Catholics. We went to mass every Wednesday morning but other than that it was normal school. I asked my parents why they sent me there and part of the reason was not the education but rather who else attends. In general, the parents and households are stable, the student respectful, etc. My wife is a teacher at a public school and the students and night and day different: our future children will attend a parochial school if we are able to afford it. As a side note, the girls were never like the "Catholic school girls" in movies.

- were school dances excessively monitored/chaperoned affairs?

We did not have dances in junior high, and the high school dances were monitored pretty closely. No grinding.

- did a priest ever stay for dinner at your house and did your family tend to treat clergy with greater deference than you would any other guest?

A priest never came over for dinner but I did work at the rectory serving food and cleaning up after meals for a number of years. The three priests who lived there drank whiskey, played poker, and in general were normal people except they were priests. One came from a wealthy family and he used that wealth to help the parish - not unlike a wealthy person might help a non-profit they cherish.

Tell us about the Catholic experience on personal level, what do/did you like or dislike about it? Tell us about some things we might not otherwise glean about the world of Catholicism outside of tv shows, movies, or other media portrayals?

From 5-15 I was very religious. I would make sign of the cross before batting, pray every night, etc. From about 15-19 I thought it was a cult and I hated going to church but I was forced to. As I become older and thought about my own mortality I really began to pray and believe in a deeper way. When I went to college I really met a bulk of non-Catholic people for the first time in my life. I think their (and your?) fascination is that Catholicism is that it is a visual religion with many signs, symbols, and prayers that evangelical or mainstream protestants don't do. When you scrape away those signs and symbols you're pretty much left with the same thing as every other denomination. I find comfort in those historical actions.

This is anecdotal, but Catholics to me tend to be less forthcoming with their faith. I rarely hear Catholics asking people if they are saved, saying so-and-so is the antichrist, etc. In fact, the annual men's stag in the school cafeteria brings in kegs, allows cigar smoking, and invites local sports figures in to speak. I have never heard of a baptist church doing that. The older I get the more and more I really think it is the right way of doing things. Faith is a personal thing and I think Catholics find a good balance between religion and life.

[Maister]

This is anecdotal, but Catholics to me tend to be less forthcoming with their faith. I rarely hear Catholics asking people if they are saved, saying so-and-so is the antichrist, etc. In fact, the annual men's stag in the school cafeteria brings in kegs, allows cigar smoking, and invites local sports figures in to speak. I have never heard of a baptist church doing that.

I have found this to be true too, and can't recall encountering many Catholics who've gotten into my face about the superiority of their beliefs/incorrectness of others. On the whole, the Catholics I've encountered have been comparatively slow/reluctant to judge others. The same can't be said of other churches in my experiences.

[beach_bum]

I have found this to be true too, and can't recall encountering many Catholics who've gotten into my face about the superiority of their beliefs/incorrectness of others. On the whole, the Catholics I've encountered have been comparatively slow/reluctant to judge others. The same can't be said of other churches in my experiences.

There is a reason why six of the supreme court justices are Catholic.

[DetroitPlanner]

Here in SE Michigan you are allowed to eat Muskrat instead of fish due to a long ago decree by the priest who started the University of Michigan!
http://www.catholicnews.com/data/sto...ns/0701338.htm

- are there certain prayers priests tend to dole out in greater quantities for repentance at confession?

I never saw why you would need this. Last time I went was when they made me go in High School. After all you should be able to make good with the big guy for your wrong-doings by admitting them and trying to avoid them in the future.

- you ever get asked to do anything strange as penance? (remember, we're not talking pedophelia here)
Noppe, just a bunch of Hail Marys and Our Fathers

- did you go to Catholic school, and how if you also attended public school how did you think it compared?
I attended public school for Kindergarten and for University. Going into First grade was not traumatic. Going into college, I was overprepared in many subject compared to most but seriously lacking in others.

- were school dances excessively monitored/chaperoned affairs?

I don't remember I was often drunk when/if I attended them.

- did a priest ever stay for dinner at your house and did your family tend to treat clergy with greater deference than you would any other guest?

Yes priests would come over all the time. One time I even had one give me the final sacrament (now known as blessing of the sick) at home. My mom worked at the rectory and no, we treated all guests as if they were clergy. The pastor and his brother who was a bishop of the Gaylord Dioscise used to bartend at the local irish watering hole. They would serve us under-age. More than once as a young unliscensed teen I was called up there to drive a whole group of them (my parents included) home. The neighborhood was not the best place to be at night, but at least they had the sense to figure I was smart enough to avoid getting jumped.

Beach_bum Three of my classmates are judges. One was appointed to federal courts and turned it down.

stroskey Most Catholics are taught that actions are the way to spead the goodness of God, not through constant badgering or belittling. While what you say is true, you seem to have glossed over the countless Catholic soup kitchens, the Knights of Columbus, and St. Vincent de Paul charities.

My grandfather on my Mother's side attended the Catholic University of America. His life revolved around the Church and worked a bunch of side jobs so he could keep his time free for the low-paying organist gig. My mom basically grew up with the church as the center of her life. She is now in her 70's and getting her to go is like pulling teeth. Even when we took the family trip to Ireland a decade ago she refused to go to church in a grand old cathedral.

[WSU MUP Student]

Can someone explain the Bingo - Church connection thing to me?

I always thought the bingo connection, at least in Michigan, had more to do with the laws governing who can operate a game of chance. Churches were able to get away with it since it can be called a "charity bingo" event since the church is a non-profit. This is just my assumption though and I have no actual knowledge of how this works.

I do know that once you get outside of the major cities and suburbs, you are just as likely to find a weekly or monthly bingo night at a Lutheran, Presbyterian, or Anglican church or a conservation club or American Legion as you are at a Catholic church.

[terraplnr]

- did/do you really eat fish every single freakin' Friday?

Just during Lent, we’d go to our church/school fish fry or Long John Silver’s

- are there certain prayers priests tend to dole out in greater quantities for repentance at confession?
“Our Father” and “Hail Mary” were the only ones I’ve ever heard of

- you ever get asked to do anything strange as penance? (remember, we're not talking pedophelia here)
No, I don’t remember even being asked to do a certain number of prayers. The build-up/anticipation of confession was always worse than the confession itself.

- did you go to Catholic school, and how if you also attended public school how did you think it compared?
I did from K-8 and I really enjoyed the small classes, knowing most everyone’s families, and feeling like the “big fish in a small pond.” But I had a little bit of a hard time transitioning to 9th grade, because I was pretty shy and because all of the 9th graders had been in school together since 7th grade. It probably would have been good for me to transition at 7th grade, when all of the public school kids were also moving from elementary to junior high.

- were school dances excessively monitored/chaperoned affairs?
No, but I don’t remember having one after 5th grade or so, so we were probably all too young to get in to too much trouble.

- did a priest ever stay for dinner at your house and did your family tend to treat clergy with greater deference than you would any other guest?
No, never had the priest over. We were regular church-goers and I was even an altar server (they relaxed the rules so girls could be altar servers too when I was young enough to be interested) and we liked the priests well enough but never felt the need/had the opportunity to have him over for dinner.

I have a story I must confess. We had two nuns that taught or worked at our school, one (Sister Rosa) was there when I was younger and I was always kind of frightened of her, she was a disciplinarian type and would use a paddle on the back sides of trouble-making children. She retired when I was in 3rd grade or so, and then Sister Rosalita was with us and taught us music class. She was a sensitive and reserved type of person, music class was not boring but not ever really that fun either. When I was in 8th grade “Bohemian Rhapsody” was popular from Wayne’s World, and a couple of my classmates had convinced her to let us listen to it in music class because it was a “modern opera song”. Well, about halfway through the song she was in tears, turned off the song and berated us for bringing in a song that talked about the Devil and suicide. She had to leave the class early because she was so upset and then our main teacher let us all have it also, for making Sister Rosalita feel so bad. I wasn’t one of the ones that convinced her to let us listen to the song, but I sure thought it was funny for a while. One thing about Catholic school that I noticed in the older grades, was that most kids were “good” but then there were a few who were sent to Catholic school because they had misbehaved too much at their public school. I didn’t get corrupted that much, but it definitely was not an oasis of angelic children.

I agree about Catholic school not being as "churchy" as other Christian schools in my experience. I have a couple of good friends who attended a non-denominational Christian school and they did a lot more memorizing of the Bible and had more strict rules about things like no dancing at their "dances", children would get into trouble for bringing Van Halen or Aerosmith CDs into school, etc.

I was an occasionally active Catholic through college, then married a non-denominational Christian and was a Christmas-and-Easter Catholic for a while, mainly because I like the traditions of those services, the songs, etc. I was really reconsidering going back this past year and becoming more active, but there are too many things that I don’t agree with or hoops that I’d have to jump through to feel like I would be completely part of the Catholic Church again. I went to an Episcopalian service this Christmas and one of the church members said they have a “Catholic altar with an evangelical sermon” which felt about right, but am still feeling/thinking things out.

[kjel]

I went to parochial school for Kindergarten & 1st grade. I don't remember much except for the scratchy uniform and the older than dirt nuns and sitting through Friday noon mass. I know that when we moved out of state and I went to public school that I was already a half year ahead of where the public school grade was.

I am not religiously affiliated, but I would consider sending the baby to Catholic school if we stay around this area because the public schools are shit.

[ColoGI]

I am not religiously affiliated, but I would consider sending the baby to Catholic school if we stay around this area because the public schools are shit.

This is an entire separate, interesting thread in itself.

[stroskey]

stroskey Most Catholics are taught that actions are the way to spead the goodness of God, not through constant badgering or belittling. While what you say is true, you seem to have glossed over the countless Catholic soup kitchens, the Knights of Columbus, and St. Vincent de Paul charities.

I am well aware of those. We had to "volunteer" X hours per semester to graduate high school so I spent a lot of time in shelters and soup kitchens. The thing is those are Catholic institutions but they are not preachy in an overbearing way. I attended many evangelical services in college because I think their worship/sermon was better at times and they did a lot of service trips but not as much "local charity"

I am not religiously affiliated, but I would consider sending the baby to Catholic school if we stay around this area because the public schools are shit.

I addressed this a bit in my longer response - Catholic schools are not just for Catholics.

[ursus]

This is an entire separate, interesting thread in itself.

True. There are several very highly regarded Catholic Schools in the SLC area and a lot of Mormons here jockey for position to send their kids to them if they can.

[otterpop]

I forgot to mention the main reason the Church and I had a falling out. My mom is a very good Catholic. However, she made a decision after her fourth child that four was enough and she was pushing forty. So she had an elective partial hysterectomy. So she made a conscious decision to practice birth control. As a result, she was banned from participating in the sacraments, in particular, she could not take communion. Nor could she honestly (and she is a scrupulously honest person) go to confession, admit she made a mistake and get absolution for her "sin."

She continued to go to Church every Sunday. The Church was not one bit shy about asking her for money, which she has given religiously. It was many years before the old school priests in her parish died off and a more tolerant priest and my mother were able to find a way to permit her to once again go to communion.

I figured if the Church didn't think my mom was good enough to take communion, then the Church is just screwed up in their dogma. Her faith was strong enough that she was willing to remain in her Church and still display intregrity and the strength of her conviction that she made the right decision for her family, despite the Church's opposition.

The Catholic Church would be a better religion if there were more and not less people with my mother's character.