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Thread: Solutions sought for nonexistent problems

  1. #1
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Solutions sought for nonexistent problems

    When I start making millions of dollars, I don't want to end up like Elvis or Billy Joel and get robbed like they did by their business managers. What can I do to make sure that doesn't happen?

  2. #2
    Cyburbian DetroitPlanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    When I start making millions of dollars, I don't want to end up like Elvis or Billy Joel and get robbed like they did by their business managers. What can I do to make sure that doesn't happen?
    Simple, sqaunder the money as fast as you make it. That way you could be like a sports celebrity or Lindasy Lohan.
    We hope for better things; it will arise from the ashes - Fr Gabriel Richard 1805

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Plus dandy_warhol's avatar
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    Give it to me, I'll make sure it is safe.

  4. #4
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Cheap hookers and blow.

    They can't steal what you've already spent.
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

  5. #5
    Cyburbian safege's avatar
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    Worry that your rights, and freedoms, are being taken away by socialism, which makes no sense, because rights, and freedoms, are taken away by fascism, but assume that redistribution of wealth is bad, and that capitalism, which you like, is not doing an amazing job of doing it, causing an income disparity of epic proportions, supported by red States, that receive the most welfare, which you are also against.
    Psychotics are consistently inconsistent. The essence of sanity is to be inconsistently inconsistent.
    -Larry Wall

  6. #6
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by btrage View post
    Cheap hookers and blow.

    They can't steal what you've already spent.
    I appreciate the helpful suggestions, but wouldn't retaining the services of expensive hookers be a more effective means of keeping my surplus money out of the wrong hands?

    Another thing... you know how they launch communication, spy, gps, weather, and other satellites every day...if they keep doing it for long enough it'll start to block out the sun's rays on the earth's surface. As that occurs, our solar water heaters are going to become less and less effective!

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Duke Of Dystopia's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    I appreciate the helpful suggestions, but wouldn't retaining the services of expensive hookers be a more effective means of keeping my surplus money out of the wrong hands?

    Another thing... you know how they launch communication, spy, gps, weather, and other satellites every day...if they keep doing it for long enough it'll start to block out the sun's rays on the earth's surface. As that occurs, our solar water heaters are going to become less and less effective!
    Confucius say "What goes up, must come down".
    I can't deliver UTOPIA, but I can create a HELL for you to LIVE in :)DoD:(

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    Stuff it in the matteras or get a big vault like Scrooge McDuck has.
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  9. #9
    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    I say get away from the $ standard. When our world ends, you will want gold. Buy tonnes of it, and then build yourself a safe hidden in the ground. Put it all there and spend the rest of your life getting guns and ammo to protect it. Shoot anything that gets near it - wildlife, thieves, children...
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

  10. #10
    Cyburbian mgk920's avatar
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    Simple, stay independent and DON'T even THINK of signing with a record label.



    Mike

  11. #11
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    [QUOTE=Maister;574965]I appreciate the helpful suggestions, but wouldn't retaining the services of expensive hookers be a more effective means of keeping my surplus money out of the wrong hands?[QUOTE]

    Depends on how many hookers you want. Quantity over quality?
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

  12. #12
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Hookers? Isn't that what they call those funny water pipes?

    Invest in high-grade pharmaceutical franchises with street level distributors. Cash transactions only.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  13. #13
    Cyburbian HomerJ's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    When I start making millions of dollars, I don't want to end up like Elvis or Billy Joel and get robbed like they did by their business managers. What can I do to make sure that doesn't happen?

    Simple. Invest in a dome. The variety of uses that can come from said dome is greater than one would originally think. Any party members suspected of attempting to steal your money? Encapsulate them in your new dome. Or, in circumstances where multiple individuals are pursuing your money, encapsulate yourself in your new dome with along with your millions of dollars.

    Ok, I have to get back to work now.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian TerraSapient's avatar
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    Buy a cruise ship and convert it to a house. Spend the rest of your days buying enough fuel to cruise around the world. Be sure to stop in Honolulu to pick me up.

  15. #15
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by HomerJ9139 View post
    Simple. Invest in a dome. The variety of uses that can come from said dome is greater than one would originally think. Any party members suspected of attempting to steal your money? Encapsulate them in your new dome. Or, in circumstances where multiple individuals are pursuing your money, encapsulate yourself in your new dome with along with your millions of dollars.

    Ok, I have to get back to work now.
    No, no, no. Build one humongous pyramid. Your razor blades will always be sharp, food won't spoil, your mental and physical traits will be amplified, and all the money you spend on it will be returned multiplied many times! And that's just the start. Trust me.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  16. #16
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Okay, when the family departs for the Med coast during the winter and we close off the south wing of the house, should we dismiss the head gardener and re-hire a new one next year or should we keep him on retainer along with the butler and head maid until our return?
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  17. #17
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    All the time, when taking a shower, I think to myself "you know, the water coming out of the shower head isn't colorful enough." Leave it to our Chinese overlords to solve that problem.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  18. #18
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Okay, when the family departs for the Med coast during the winter and we close off the south wing of the house, should we dismiss the head gardener and re-hire a new one next year or should we keep him on retainer along with the butler and head maid until our return?
    Keep him around. He did make a lovely topiary of you on the west lawn.
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  19. #19
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Planit View post
    Keep him around. He did make a lovely topiary of you on the west lawn.
    I don't understand. The only shrub in the west lawn is that tall arborvitae that's cucumber-shaped. I'm not shaped like a cucumber!
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  20. #20
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    I don't understand. The only shrub in the west lawn is that tall arborvitae that's cucumber-shaped. I'm not shaped like a cucumber!
    No not that one...this one:


    That must be the east lawn. My bad.
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  21. #21
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Okay, when the family departs for the Med coast during the winter and we close off the south wing of the house, should we dismiss the head gardener and re-hire a new one next year or should we keep him on retainer along with the butler and head maid until our return?
    What is a head gardener? Is that, like, someone that grows weed? Or maybe does Chia Pets that look like the president?
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  22. #22
    Cyburbian Plus
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    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    Give it to me, I'll make sure it is safe.
    No give it to me.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

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