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Thread: Teh mid-life crisis thread

  1. #1
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Teh mid-life crisis thread

    Starting my mid-life crisis this morning. Do women still find me desireable?

    I originally hadn't planned on starting my mid-life crisis until August 27th (49th b-day, you know) of this year, but noticed I had some available space on the calendar this week and decided to start it now instead while I don't have quite so many other competing issues to deal with and can focus on my angst more effectively.

    I also don't have the necessary funds available to purchase a red sports car, so I'd be happy for any other suggestions you might have for alternatives. Thanks in advance.
    Last edited by Maister; 12 Feb 2013 at 10:55 AM.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Plus JNA's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Starting my middle age crisis this morning. Do women still find me desireable?

    I originally hadn't planned on starting my middle age crisis until August 27th (49th b-day, you know) of this year, but noticed I had some available space on the calendar this week and decided to start it now instead while I don't have quite so many other competing issues to deal with and can focus on my angst more effectively.

    I also don't have the necessary funds available to purchase a red sports car, so I'd be happy for any other suggestions you might have for alternatives. Thanks in advance.
    You still have time -
    So going on 56, I have avoided it by denial, being a cheap 3astard, no affairs or love children, no hair transplants to look younger, no new car - drive an 04, haven't quit my job or moved, what other images or actions haven't done ?
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  3. #3
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Starting my mid-life crisis this morning. Do women still find me desireable?

    I originally hadn't planned on starting my mid-life crisis until August 27th (49th b-day, you know) of this year, but noticed I had some available space on the calendar this week and decided to start it now instead while I don't have quite so many other competing issues to deal with and can focus on my angst more effectively.

    I also don't have the necessary funds available to purchase a red sports car, so I'd be happy for any other suggestions you might have for alternatives. Thanks in advance.
    You're over 40, it's too late to start a mid-life crisis. You're in that awkward pre-geezer phase of life. Start hitching your pants up and get over it.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Plus JNA's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ofos View post
    You're over 40, it's too late to start a mid-life crisis. You're in that awkward pre-geezer phase of life. Start hitching your pants up and get over it.
    At what age does one become a "geezer" ?

    If you finish a post with "Now get off my lawn" ?

    Is there any differences between a geezer and a curmudgeon ?


    ================================================================================================

    looking at the post number 1977 - where were you that winter of 1977 ?
    freshman yr in Logan UT
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  5. #5
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Starting my mid-life crisis this morning. Do women still find me desireable?

    I originally hadn't planned on starting my mid-life crisis until August 27th (49th b-day, you know) of this year, but noticed I had some available space on the calendar this week and decided to start it now instead while I don't have quite so many other competing issues to deal with and can focus on my angst more effectively.

    I also don't have the necessary funds available to purchase a red sports car, so I'd be happy for any other suggestions you might have for alternatives. Thanks in advance.
    Yeah, it's a little early for this - most guys I know had a really rough time turning 50 - depression, the whole thing, so be happy another year and a half and then we will allow for depression

    Here - have some motivation posters:

    Click image for larger version

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ID:	5119Click image for larger version

Name:	legacydemotivator.jpg
Views:	17
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ID:	5120Click image for larger version

Name:	mistakesdemotivator.jpg
Views:	16
Size:	21.1 KB
ID:	5121

  6. #6
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Starting my mid-life crisis this morning. Do women still find me desireable?

    I originally hadn't planned on starting my mid-life crisis until August 27th (49th b-day, you know) of this year, but noticed I had some available space on the calendar this week and decided to start it now instead while I don't have quite so many other competing issues to deal with and can focus on my angst more effectively.

    I also don't have the necessary funds available to purchase a red sports car, so I'd be happy for any other suggestions you might have for alternatives. Thanks in advance.
    You can dump the wife for a newer model. Perhaps something in the babysitter style?
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  7. #7
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    You can dump the wife for a newer model. Perhaps something in the babysitter style?
    oh god - please don't - it's so cliche at this point - I have spent the last year mopping up a wife that was dumped like this and my BIL did it and it just is gross

    yes, sometimes couples outgrow each other but still...

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Brocktoon's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    You can dump the wife for a newer model. Perhaps something in the babysitter style?
    You have the first half of my plan down but the second half is just creepy. Any babysitter that starts "dating" the father of the child they babysit has some serious daddy issues.
    "If you don't like change, you're going to like irrelevance even less" General Eric Shinseki

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Mud Princess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by luckless pedestrian View post
    Yeah, it's a little early for this - most guys I know had a really rough time turning 50 - depression, the whole thing, so be happy another year and a half and then we will allow for depression
    Some women have a rough time turning 50 also.

    I was doing OK until that AARP card came in the mail. It didn't help to go to a club I hadn't been to in 15 years, where all of the other women were young and pretty.

  10. #10
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by luckless pedestrian View post
    Here - have some motivation posters:

    Attachment 5119Attachment 5120Attachment 5121
    Moderator note:
    split from RTDNTOTO8


    That third one in particular makes me feel much better. My existence actually does serve some useful purpose. Who woulda thunk it....

    As to the business of living out cliches, I'm actually liking the babysitter idea. I'm not really balding so I can't wear a bad hairpiece (like dear old dad did), so I need to find other ways to increase my creepiness factor. I think in general hanging out with groups of people 20 or more years my junior would be a good start.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  11. #11
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post


    As to the business of living out cliches, I'm actually liking the babysitter idea. I'm not really balding so I can't wear a bad hairpiece (like dear old dad did), so I need to find other ways to increase my creepiness factor. I think in general hanging out with groups of people 20 or more years my junior would be a good start.
    You should get your hair frosted. Or grow a ponytail.
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian dvdneal's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    You should get your hair frosted. Or grow a ponytail.
    Add some manscaping to that ponytail!
    I don't pretend to understand Brannigan's Law. I merely enforce it.

  13. #13
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dvdneal View post
    Add some manscaping to that ponytail!
    GAHHH!
    I said increase, not bury the freakin' needle on the creep-o-meter!

    How am I going to un-see that image?
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  14. #14
    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    GAHHH!
    I said increase, not bury the freakin' needle on the creep-o-meter!

    How am I going to un-see that image?
    Mental floss perhaps, eye bleach, therapy, Vulcan mind meld with editing while in there. dvdneal needs to red carded for that one.
    When did I go from Luke Skywalker to Obi-Wan Kenobi?

  15. #15
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    I'm hoping that because I had kids earlier in my life/marriage, I will have somehow negated the mid-life crisis that would hit sometime between 40-50. By the time I'm 50, my daughters will be 25 and 22 I'll be well on the way to figuring out how to enjoy those years with my wife.
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

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    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by btrage View post
    I'm hoping that because I had kids earlier in my life/marriage, I will have somehow negated the mid-life crisis that would hit sometime between 40-50. By the time I'm 50, my daughters will be 25 and 22 I'll be well on the way to figuring out how to enjoy those years with my wife.
    And paying for their weddings. See I had all boys... so when I hit 50 I my kids will be 27 and 25^2. I just get to enjoy the booze at the wedding and relax
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

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    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Hink View post
    And paying for their weddings. See I had all boys... so when I hit 50 I my kids will be 27 and 25^2. I just get to enjoy the booze at the wedding and relax
    Tell you what, let's introduce our kids and we can enjoy the booze together.
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

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    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    Let's see it happened about 8 years ago when I quit my job to make a difference. Then the economy crashed.

    Wife said she didn't mind that since I didn't have an affair. She's so sweet.
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

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    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Mud Princess View post
    Some women have a rough time turning 50 also.

    I was doing OK until that AARP card came in the mail. It didn't help to go to a club I hadn't been to in 15 years, where all of the other women were young and pretty.
    Age is just a number! You're only as old as you feel.
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

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    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    Age is just a number! You're only as old as you feel.
    That's what old people who are lying say.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

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    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Planit View post
    Let's see it happened about 8 years ago when I quit my job to make a difference. Then the economy crashed.

    Wife said she didn't mind that since I didn't have an affair. She's so sweet.
    in 2008 my hubby got an 84 Benz - I said better a 24 yo car than a 24 yo...

  22. #22
    Cyburbian terraplnr's avatar
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    Waiting in line at a CVS last week I was treated to a college student telling her friend about the creepy dad of the children she babysits. She could sense his creepiness long before he cornered her in the kids' bathroom to tell her that he really liked her. So you probably don't have to do much to increase your creepiness because the babysitters (the attractive ones anyway) are already hyper sensitive to potential creepiness. Just in case that helps.

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    Cyburbian
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    My quarter-life crisis was in preparation to stave off my mid-life crisis. Was trying to figure out how I could continue along with my career path without forgoing my chance at a dream job. Eventually opted to take a gamble early in my career to see if that pays off. Now it'll be at least a couple years before I know whether that gamble was worth it or not.

  24. #24
    Cyburbian Brocktoon's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Moderator note:
    split from RTDNTOTO8


    That third one in particular makes me feel much better. My existence actually does serve some useful purpose. Who woulda thunk it....

    As to the business of living out cliches, I'm actually liking the babysitter idea. I'm not really balding so I can't wear a bad hairpiece (like dear old dad did), so I need to find other ways to increase my creepiness factor. I think in general hanging out with groups of people 20 or more years my junior would be a good start.
    Instead of buying a fast car or motorcycle you should get a creepy panel van for your mid-life crisis machine. This has too be super creepy...so creepy that if you saw it parked at a playground you would immediately call the police creepy.
    "If you don't like change, you're going to like irrelevance even less" General Eric Shinseki

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Starting my mid-life crisis this morning. Do women still find me desireable?
    iMen are so pathetic at mid-life crises. The question is not "Do women find me desirable?" It's "Do I think women find me desirable?" You just delude yourself, like RJ's boss. Then you go out and make an ass out of yourself.

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