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Thread: The Stella Awards

  1. #1

    The Stella Awards

    Here is a thread that I picked up from another forum...

    It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. The following are this year's candidates:

    1.Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

    2.A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.

    3.Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

    4.Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

    5.A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

    6.Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

    7.This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    Somebody please tell me these are not true. These people should have to SERVE TIME IN JAIL for filing such ridiculous suites. Considering that they won, the jury should be lined up and shot. I don't want to believe that our legal system could possible be so f----d up!

  3. #3
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    #7 is an urban legend. See the the Big Book of Urban Legends.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  4. #4
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Urban legend alert! See http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.htm . To quote Snopes ...

    Though the cases described in the e-mail are fake, real lawsuits of equal silliness can be found in abundance. An equally impressive list could easily have been compiled by anyone with access to a news database and a few moments to spare. For instance:

    In March 1995, a San Diego man unsuccessfully attempted to sue the city and Jack Murphy Stadium for $5.4 million over something than can only be described as a wee problem -- Robert Glaser claimed the stadium's unisex bathroom policy at a Billy Joel and Elton John concert caused him embarrassment and emotional distress thanks to the sight of a woman using a urinal in front of him. He subsequently tried "six or seven" other bathrooms in the stadium only to find women in all of them. He asserted he "had to hold it in for four hours" because he was too embarrassed to share the public bathrooms with women.

    A San Carlos, California, man is suing the Escondido Public Library for $1.5 million. His dog, a 50-pound Labrador mix, was attacked by the library's 12-pound feline mascot, L.C., (also known as Library Cat).

    In 1994, a student at the University of Idaho unsuccessfully sued that institution over his fall from a third-floor dorm window. He'd been mooning other students when the window gave way. It was contended the University failed to provide a safe environment for students or to properly warn them of the dangers inherent to upper-story windows.

    In 1993, McDonald's was unsuccessfully sued over a car accident in New Jersey. While driving, a man who had placed a milkshake between his legs, leaned over to reach into his bag of food and squeezed the milkshake container in the process. When the lid popped off and spilled half the drink in his lap, this driver became distracted and ran into another man's car. That man in turn tried to sue McDonald's for causing the accident, saying the restaurant should have cautioned the man who had hit him against eating while driving.
    Now, about those chubby kids that want to blame their endomorph states on McDonalds ... pffft! on them.

    I'm a 5" 10" tall, 36 year old male. About two years ago, I weighed 75 kilograms (165 pounds, for those of us in the States that refuse to part ways with the quaint medieval British system of weights and measures.)

    For two years, I had a job in a location where there were very few restaurants nearby, except for fast food chains. I ate at McDonalds or Burger King for lunch about three times a week ... usually a Big Mac, Filet O'Fish, Whopper or Chicken Whopper value meal. Upsized it too, much of the time.

    Now, I weigh ... 75 kilograms, or 165 pounds. McDonalds food didn't fatten me up. It's not the healealthiest option in the world, but corporate style dead cow didn't make me any bigger than I was in the past. Maybe if I was eating eight or nine Big Mac meals and taking in 6000 or 7000 calories every day, ever day, for years, I'd gain a lot of weight. Just one meal, though? Nope ... these overweight plantiffs were eating much, much more.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  5. #5
    maudit anglais
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    Originally posted by Dan
    (165 pounds, for those of us in the States that refuse to part ways with the quaint medieval British system of weights and measures.)
    If you were really into quaint medieval British weights and measures, you'd have said you weighed about 12 stone...


  6. #6
    Cyburbian statler's avatar
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    Some interesting info on the orginal McDonald's case.
    "So, if a city has a personality, maybe it also has a soul. Maybe it dreams." -Gaiman
    ArchBoston

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