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Thread: YOU GO GURLFRIEND! (fka What is it about women...)

  1. #1
          Downtown's avatar
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    What is it about women and their uncanny ability to put down and insult people?

    Ok, this is to deal with Beaner's question - why are many women seemingly so much more hypercritical of people than men are. Or are they? .02 anyone?

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Planderella's avatar
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    Women are probably more observant than men and are probably more willing to voice their observations, hence sounding hypercritical at times.
    "A witty woman is a treasure, a witty beauty is a power!"

  3. #3
          Downtown's avatar
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    My own observation about people who cut other people down is that it is about insecurity. And I think it is very safe to say that *in general* women, as a whole, are a lot more insecure than men. Its a comparison thing, maybe a woman is feeling insecure about how much money she has, or her hair or her GRE score, blah blah blah, so they someone who is larger than them and they think "Well, at least I'm not fat" and by drawing attention to the other person's "problem", it makes her feel better about her own crap she's carrying around in her head, gives her a fleeting sense of superiority.

  4. #4
    Cyburbian SW MI Planner's avatar
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    Or are they?
    Absolutely! Positively!

    And I think it is very safe to say that *in general* women, as a whole, are a lot more insecure than men.
    I would say that not only are they more critical of other people than men are, but more critical of themselves as well.
    I also think women are more competitive with each other than men are? (I don't know, men feel free to jump in here). I would think that insecurity plays a big part in this.

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Oh, I wish I would have seen this thread before I replie din the other....


  6. #6
    Cyburbian Plus PlannerGirl's avatar
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    yes i think women are more competitive with other women, look at arab nations where women where those big back things *cant recall the name of them* but under them in places like Saudi Arabia they are dressed to the nines in top designer clothing. they get in the company of other women and the black stuff comes off and they are critical of each other. now no man but their husband is going ot see them so they are not dressing for men ot see them-only other women.

    i saw this in the sorority as well-it disgusted me to no end
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin

    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"

  7. #7
    Many, but not all, women are more critical of people, especially other women. Every single place I have worked there have been problems between women co-workers. I have noticed that women in clerical/secretarial positions are often catty around women in professional positions.
    "I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

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  8. #8
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Originally posted by jtfortin
    I have noticed that women in clerical/secretarial positions are often catty around women in professional positions.
    I G*d yes. We have 3 of 11 Dept Heads that are women. It really shows in how they are treated.

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Planderella's avatar
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    Originally posted by jtfortin
    Many, but not all, women are more critical of people, especially other women. Every single place I have worked there have been problems between women co-workers. I have noticed that women in clerical/secretarial positions are often catty around women in professional positions.
    OMG - you hit the nail on the head. I had to EARN the trust, respect, etc. of the women in the clerical pool when I worked for the city. It was a long uphill battle before they realized that I was not out to make their lives more miserable or whatever.
    "A witty woman is a treasure, a witty beauty is a power!"

  10. #10
    I have noticed that problems usually arise when the woman in the professional position are around the same age as the secretaries. The older secretaries treat the professional women with respect. The ones the same age treat them with contempt. I think they probably look at the woman in the professional position and become jealous that a person their age is in a great position and usually makes double what the secretary makes. I guess it goes back to the insecurity thing.
    "I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

    - Homer Simpson

  11. #11
          Downtown's avatar
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    Originally posted by jtfortin
    Many, but not all, women are more critical of people, especially other women. Every single place I have worked there have been problems between women co-workers. I have noticed that women in clerical/secretarial positions are often catty around women in professional positions.
    I had a hard time with this in SC - I got along great with the admin when I was an intern, but once i was hired on full time, a couple problems arose.

    I was just talking about this with my best friend the other weekend - she's a schoolteacher and was telling me all about the bullshit that was going down in their staff meetings, and a lot of what was going on would never happen in an environment with predominantly male co-workers. Our water department has an inordinate amount of female admin staff and the drama that goes on down there is unbelievable.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    I think you are correct about women being more catty and/or insecure then men. Women tend to spend more time thinking about things. Men, if we notice at all, would prefer not to think about them. If we had the choice, we would probably not think at all. Just drink more beer. Beer is a woman's best friend. The more men drink, the less men notice women's flaws. Conversly, the more beer men drink, the more women notice our flaws. Either way, it can be a very self-affirming experience for women. So tonight, ladies, build your self esteem. Bring your man a cold beer or two.
    Last edited by Cardinal; 07 Mar 2003 at 11:23 AM.

  13. #13
    maudit anglais
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    I really can't understand why you're still single Mike

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Originally posted by Michael Stumpf
    Bring your man a cold beer or two.
    Yeah ladies. Nothing screams SEX APPEAL like a man crinkling an empty beer can and waving at you so you get him another.

  15. #15
    Cyburbian Wannaplan?'s avatar
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    Interesting. Let me throw this one out there: Assuming the professional assistants and executives are the same age, do you think it makes a difference if the professional assistants have children and the executive does not?


    Originally posted by jtfortin
    I have noticed that problems usually arise when the woman in the professional position are around the same age as the secretaries. The older secretaries treat the professional women with respect. The ones the same age treat them with contempt. I think they probably look at the woman in the professional position and become jealous that a person their age is in a great position and usually makes double what the secretary makes. I guess it goes back to the insecurity thing.

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    Originally posted by Tranplanner
    I really can't understand why you're still single Mike
    Pretty amazing, isn't it?

  17. #17
          Downtown's avatar
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    Originally posted by Beaner
    Interesting. Let me throw this one out there: Assuming the professional assistants and executives are the same age, do you think it makes a difference if the professional assistants have children and the executive does not?


    i don't know. i do know that this is a general problem a lot of my friends have, even with male co-workers. and i have heard a lot of, especially with volunteering things, "Well, how come [U]you[/] don't have time to do xyz, its not like you have kids or anything."
    WTF? i just think that's so crappy.

  18. #18
    Cyburbian El Feo's avatar
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    Originally posted by Michael Stumpf
    So tonight, ladies, build your self esteem. Bring your man a cold beer or two.
    Holy crap, this is the funniest post of the day! Now I have to go beg IS for a new keyboard to replace the one I just spit coffee all over...

  19. #19
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    Originally posted by KMateja

    i don't know. i do know that this is a general problem a lot of my friends have, even with male co-workers. and i have heard a lot of, especially with volunteering things, "Well, how come [U]you[/] don't have time to do xyz, its not like you have kids or anything."
    WTF? i just think that's so crappy.
    This is a huge problem. Childless and unmarried people are definitely discriminated against. Think of the military. How many times have you heard people moan about how somebody in the reserves shouldn't have to be activated because they have a kid? Or how about my favorite, send the single people on the dangerous mission. Yeah, like I really want so much more to get killed because I'm not married. WTF?

  20. #20
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    its not like you have kids or anything.
    I get this one all of the time and end up, at the last minute having to do after hours work because "little johnny has hockey practice and I can't make it".

    If I had a wife / girlfriend, my response to this statement would probably be, "well tonight we were going to work on that very item, if you had not offloaded your responsibilities to me"
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  21. #21
    People with kids get away with a lot more. One person here leaves early or comes in late all the time because her kids are in trouble or her kids (who I believe are teenagers) are sick. Look, I understand if you have to leave early in rare circumstances, but 2-3 times a week is a crock. It seems like having kids is a carte blanche for coming and going as you please. Nobody ever second guesses them either.

    I can't wait til I have kids. If I want to leave early for a baseball game or to beat traffic when I am going on vacation, I will have a nice built-in excuse.
    "I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

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  22. #22
    Forums Administrator & Gallery Moderator NHPlanner's avatar
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    Originally posted by jtfortin
    People with kids get away with a lot more. One person here leaves early or comes in late all the time because her kids are in trouble or her kids (who I believe are teenagers) are sick. Look, I understand if you have to leave early in rare circumstances, but 2-3 times a week is a crock. It seems like having kids is a carte blanche for coming and going as you please. Nobody ever second guesses them either.

    I can't wait til I have kids. If I want to leave early for a baseball game or to beat traffic when I am going on vacation, I will have a nice built-in excuse.
    Speaking from the "those with kids" camp:

    A lot of it IS legitimate. Then again, I take the responsibility of making sure that I get all my work done that needs to be if I am called away from work, or late because Kylie is sick or needs to be picked up when my wife isn't able to.
    "Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund

  23. #23
    Originally posted by NHPlanner


    A lot of it IS legitimate.
    Not with this particular lady. 1/4 is legit, 1/4 is questionable, and 1/2 is bs.
    "I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

    - Homer Simpson

  24. #24
    Forums Administrator & Gallery Moderator NHPlanner's avatar
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    Originally posted by jtfortin


    Not with this particular lady. 1/4 is legit, 1/4 is questionable, and 1/2 is bs.
    I can only speak for myself....and I've eaten up a lot of sick time for the times when Kylie was sick, and my wife, not having sick time available, isn't able to stay home with her.

    I'm sure there are those that abuse it, but most people I know don't.
    "Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Wannaplan?'s avatar
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    Assuming that most women are the primary caregivers, do you think that's why national statistics show that women, on average, get paid less than men?


    Originally posted by jtfortin
    People with kids get away with a lot more. One person here leaves early or comes in late all the time because her kids are in trouble or her kids (who I believe are teenagers) are sick. Look, I understand if you have to leave early in rare circumstances, but 2-3 times a week is a crock. It seems like having kids is a carte blanche for coming and going as you please. Nobody ever second guesses them either.

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