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Thread: The Worst Date Ever

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    The Worst Date Ever

    Inspired by Dan's recent date, I have decided to begin this thread.

    Tell us about your worst date. Just how bad could it be? As an incentive, I will select the best (worst) for a poll next week, and the winner (loser) will get a prize.

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    A friend fixed me up with her recently-divorced cousin. It was a pretty dull date and I was not at all interested in him. When he took me home he asked if he could have a cup of coffee before driving home. After I started a pot, I excused myself to make a pit stop and when I came out to the living room, he was standing there stark naked. I guess he thought times had really changed in the 10 years he'd been married! I shoved him out the front door, clothes in hand. The next day, he told his cousin "Don't ever fix me up with a b***h like that again."

  3. #3
    I thought that only happened in sitcoms and movies.

    I've had a couple of nightmare dates -but none worth mentioning. Just personality mismatches.

  4. #4
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
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    I haven't had all that much experience "dating"... I'm more like a serial monogamist. But here it goes anyway.

    So after being in a relationship for almost six years, I was dumped right before my 21 birthday. I was depressed and a little lost for a long time. Around the time of my 22nd birthday, after a year of mourning, this was my first date:

    I'm visiting my mom and dad in Los Angeles and my mom mentions something like "my co-worker's son is going to move to Davis to start in their pre-vet program. Would you be okay with going out and talking to him about Davis, campus life, etc?" Sound innocent enough... not so much like a "real date". Boy was that wrong.

    It was a full-blown blind date, and I had no idea what was coming. He asked if there was any place I wanted to go... I'm thinking low key, good food... so I suggest my favorite deli in Los Angeles and he agrees. We decide to meet in the lobby of the restaurant (thank god I didn't have to make small talk in the car with this guy!).

    Once we sit down to dinner, he asks me what I do... I explain what a "planner" is (as best I can to the layman). He starts harping on property rights (just short of the whole commie planner thing). Then he starts into why don't I just find a man and stay home and have babies (not quite in those terms). This person I just met had told me how wrong I was living my life over and over again in the most excrutiating hour of my life.

    Finally, I had enough. I said it was nice meeting him, have a good time in Davis, but it is obvious we are too different and that I wasn't interested. I went to pay my portion of the check (I still was trying to convince myself that it wasn't a real date) and then he started arguing with me over the appropriateness of going dutch. Finally I put my money on the talbe and walked away. He was actually yelling at me as I left the restaurant.

    I went to my car and I was so angry that I backed up without looking... and hit him. I don't mean hit is car... I mean hit him full on and knocked him onto the ground. He was coming to give me back my money for dinner and the cash was blowing around the parking lot. I waited to see if he was okay, said sorry and jetted out of there.

    I got back and told my parents what had happened and said don't ever set me up like that again. Innocent little get together indeed. Grrrr.

  5. #5
    Cyburbian
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    If you guys are fans of Seinfelds and Jerry's predispostition of finding minor flaws/idosyncracies, here was my own:

    Showed up to pick date up for a second date (I think) after first date went well. Date walks out with a Micky Mouse/Disney satin jacket and a pair of jeans with a Mickey patch on the rear.....


    We were both well past the voting rights age. Last date, needless to say.

  6. #6
          Downtown's avatar
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    Ok, I'll admit, I've never really been on a date. In highschool we all hung out in a big group, no one really "dated". Lord knows there was no "dating" in college - lots of drunken hooking up, and then grad school, where I met Rob. I guess we did go out on a date. And while it was pretty bad, it would never win any awards for ghastliness.

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Planderella's avatar
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    Ironic topic as just last night a friend was telling me about her worst date. She met her blind date at the restaurant. They ate and had a somewhat pleasant conversation. After he paid, she went to the restroom, went back to the table and discovered he was gone. Initially she thought he went to the restaurant, but after 15 mins, the lady at the next table finally told her that he left.


    Worst date for me..........this guy invited me to the movies with a group of his friends. He didn't drive at the time so I picked him. We're standing in line waiting to purchase tickets and he turns to me and says "you're gonna pay for me, right?" I really should have said no and left him there in front of his "boys" but I went on and paid. We never went out again.
    "A witty woman is a treasure, a witty beauty is a power!"

  8. #8
    Cyburbian jmf's avatar
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    Originally posted by KMateja
    Ok, I'll admit, I've never really been on a date. In highschool we all hung out in a big group, no one really "dated". Lord knows there was no "dating" in college - lots of drunken hooking up, and then grad school, where I met Rob. I guess we did go out on a date. And while it was pretty bad, it would never win any awards for ghastliness.
    I have to agree with Kel - I don't think I have REALLY ever been on a date either. Pretty much the same scenario.

    I was dumped by a guy I didn't know I was going out with though.

    I was in 3rd year undergrad - I had gone to semi-formal with a friend who ditched me (not an issue) for someone else and a friend of his walked me home - THAT'S ALL. The next week this guy kept finding me and I tried to brush him off gently. Over the next weekend I ran into him a couple of times at some parties but again brushed him off - a good friend was visiting and we were having a girl's weekend out. On Monday he pulled me aside on campus and said "I didn't know you were that kind of girl, I don't think we should see each other anymore". Well it was all I could do to keep a straight face. I was (am) such a bitch although I still don't know what kind of girl I was supposed to be!

  9. #9
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    You pick the best one:

    I was once told on the third date - with a girl I really liked - that I was the "nicest guy she had ever gone out with" but until I made the Lord JEEEEESUSS Christ my personal lord and savior we could no longer go out. She said she was willing to sleep with me if I became Pentacostal.

    I went on a blind date once and met my ex-wife's doppleganger. Short, German and EVIL.

    I had a woman tell me on the sixth date about her five kids from five ex-husbands.

    I once asked a girl out in High School who turned out to be a national Gay Icon within 10 years. (Sorry Guys)

    I once had my four year old son piss on my pants leg in a public toilet while I was on a date.

    I sometimes dated in 1979 Malibu station wagon with a carseat and a 4 year old.

    Oh, I almost forgot - I had my girlfriends husband - I didn't know she was married - Five minutes after I found out she was married - ask a "Costanza Question." PUKE CITY.

  10. #10
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    WHY ME???

    Oh my…

    So here is the reason I am picky. I met up with this girl on a blind date. I was in the at least I will make a friend age. WOW… was I wrong. We agreed me meet at a restaurant / dance club. (So I knew she would at least be 21) I got there first, and all of a sudden a girl walked up to me and said hi, and asked me if I was Mike… but she sounded exactly like a female Elmer Fudd. She looked NOTHING like the picture she had sent me. She was over weight, sort, bleach blond hair, and one dark uni-brow. She sat down, ordered the biggest thing on the menu (and most expensive) and only had a few bites and said she was full. Well, the music started, and she asked if I wanted to dance. It was the song Mustang Sally so I thought it would be safe. She grabs me and started grind on me… but it was more like a cow trying to free itself from a trap. She had no style what so ever. To top it all off… she used a fake ID to get in. So the cops show up, and question me because I was 23. Then if it was not bad enough, I was walking out with her, after we both got kicked out, and her boyfriend comes up and picks a fight with me. The cops stop him, but I looked at her, and said that it was an interesting night, and that I am sorry but I do not think that I will be coming back to her town for a few months.
    You get what you give.

  11. #11
    Cyburbian biscuit's avatar
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    RE: michaelskis date from hell.

    Does she have a sister?

  12. #12
    Cyburbian JNL's avatar
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    I haven't been on that many dates as I was also in a long-term relationship until end of 2001. But this would be the worst one from last year:

    He turns up in tight black jeans and boots (tight, tapered jeans make me shudder), and through the course of the evening, which I'll admit went okay, I learn he is basically an alcoholic (in denial) with 3 drink-driving convictions, and a drug habit. We drank lots. I ask how he's getting home - on his motorbike apparently. Well, I couldn't let him do that so I let him stay. But nothing happened! Fortunately he had to get up early for work so the next morning wasn't too awkward!

  13. #13
    BANNED
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    kill me now

    I was working at a landscaping supplier in Texas and one of the yard hands had a crush on me. He was from Ecuador and spoke minimal english but he was kinda cute so one of my co-workers (who was bilingual) set us up. Our first date we met at a movie theatre to see the Nutty Prof 2. During the movie, he was "cuddling" with me by resting his head on my boobs! I kept pushing him away but he insisted and I swear he pretended he wasn't understanding me. It was a dreadful nightmare. He called several times after that and all I could do was laugh at him when he called. Thank goodness he moved back to Ecuador.

    Another one:
    White trash wanted to marry me and father my 10+ children on our FIRST DATE. His mom also called him out during our date becasue he was stoned and she yelled at me because she thought I was stoned too!!! He tried to make out with me in my car while revealing to me he was in a gang.

    More?
    I met a guy at a billiard hall. I was 20 and he was like 23 or soemthing. We hit it off amazingly. The next day he came to pick me up for our date and my age came up. He got so pissed off at me- he thought I straight up lied to him about my age. Anyhow, he couldn't think of anywhere to take me on a date because I was underage. He was looking around and found my roomate's porn and insisted that we watch it. I was so mad I went and sat in my bedroom and let him be alone. 10 minutes later he wanted me to have sex with him so I handed him a bottle of lotion. He grudgingly ended up taking me to Wendy's (fast food) for dinner and complained about how expensive it was.
    Cheapskate.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    I can not participate in this, but I bet I would win. In summary, it involves revelations of infidelity by a coworker that was run into, confirmation of recent and ongoing wreckless whoredom, and several visits to the free clinic over several months to be sure nothing was caught. Oh, and a few shots for prevention just in case.

  15. #15
    Zoning Lord Richmond Jake's avatar
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    She had hair on her back that would be the envy of our proto-human ancestors. And I'm not saying any more.

  16. #16
    Lets see...

    I had a blind date with a girl I met on an internet message board. She noticed that my e-mail address was from UW-Milwaukee and started e-mailing me. So I finally agree to meet her and I went to pick her up. I don't want to sound shallow, but she was not attractive AT ALL. So I figure maybe she is pretty cool and I could make a new friend. Well she asks if we should go out and get coffee and I was thinking I can't make it through this night sober so I was like no way, we are going to a bar. So I take her to this bar that I knew I would not run into anybody at. She was so dull she had nothing to talk about except how all these guys wanted her. Unless she was hanging out at the school of the blind and deaf, I knew it was a lie. So I proceeded to get very drunk on this bar's famous potent coctails because I couldn't stand listening to her and ended up puking all of the next morning, holding up our spring break departure.

    Similar to ElGuapo, I had another girl tell me that she was a better human being than I was because she went to church and I didn't.

    I went on a date with a woman I met at a bar and when I arrived at her apartment her mom had come over and was waiting with her. After a few dates that would be ok, but when you are 26 and your mom has to check out your dates, you may have a hard time getting a 2nd date.

    In high school, I had started dating this girl who was nice, but not really my type. Then this other girl that I really liked called me and asked if I wanted to do something so I agreed and told this other girl that I had relatives over so I had to cancel our date. Well I am stopped at an intersection and who should walk right in front of my car...the girl I had ditched and her friend. I got a few nasty phone calls from her friend, but never heard from her again.
    "I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

    - Homer Simpson

  17. #17
    Cyburbian Wannaplan?'s avatar
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    I got dumped

    November of 2001 while in grad school I won tickets from the local student-run radio station for a jazz performance. Called up the girl - I'll call her "Rikki" for the sake of argument. We meet at the jazz club, we sit down, get drinks and have dinner. All is good, the conversation is great too. Intermission. She gets up to go to the bathroom. She comes back to our table. She said she talked to the pianist. Didn't think anything of it. The performance starts up again. Conversation is okay, but seems a little different. Performance ends. We get more drinks. We discuss the possibility of leaving soon to go play some pool at the nearby locals dive. More drinks. Then, out of nowhere she asks if I would be upset if she changed plans so that she could meet the pianist at another bar. Ummm, but I wasn't invited. Excuse me? We decided to go play pool together, so please, let's stick to the plan, psycho chick. Well, she said she had a nice talk with the pianist during intermission and he wanted to get to know her. Huh. Further, she said, "I need to be gratified and you can't do that," which either meant she wanted a quick fu** or needed some extra-masculine celebrity karma to prop up her fragile feminine psyche. Well, what to do? Nothing. I had to let her go. She wanted some of that pianist penis to tickle her ivories, I guess. I got ditched. Damn psycho chick.

  18. #18
    Okay I have two stories. I'll start with the just disgusting guy, then the really terrible date.

    I worked at a radio station in college as a DJ and my philosophy on dating was that if I guy had the courage to ask me out I would go out on one date to give him a chance.

    First I'm 5'11", so it is difficult to find a guy my height or taller, but he was in the 5'4" range. But that was really the minor problem. The major problem was that he hadn't shaved in about 10 years, so he had this really long beard that was ungroomed.

    So we walk to this little Asian restaurant, we order chit chat... Anyway as he is eating all this rice is dropping off his fork and out of his mouth and into his beard. He doesn't realize this is all lodged there.

    So he walks me back with rice all stuck in his beard. Real turn on. He also proceeds to tell me that he deals drugs on the side and if I ever need to get hooked up he can help me out.

    Frankly I think this was the last time I used my I'll give any guy 1 chance rule.

  19. #19
    Now for the really really horrible date.

    So this guy I had been dating for 2 years and I broke up. But we agreed we would go out again and see what happens. I agree to drive down from Dallas to Houston (5 hours).

    About 1 1/2 hours away my car breaks down. So I have to leave my car in Cleveland in a parking lot. This is the smallest problem of the weekend.

    John drives out and picks me up. We go out to a nice dinner, we are having a great time and then we decide to go to a movie. We are driving around and he gets pulled over.

    He was profiled, we weren't speeding, but he drove a mustang with dark windows. It turns out he has an unpaid speeding ticket and they arrest him at 10:30 at night.

    I'm in downtown Houston I have no idea how to get anywhere, his house is an hour away and I wouldn't know how to get there anyway. I have his 5-speed which I don't know how to drive. So the police tell me to follow him to the station.

    I go and figure I can get him out in an hour or two. Alas no, I'm sitting in the downtown Houston jail surrounded by all kinds of savory people until 4 pm on Sunday!!!! I have a pulse limit and couldn't get enough money to bail him out. He called his friend to bring him money and bail him out but the friend didn't realize I was there and so waited until the next day.

    Anyway, he finally gets out. We drive back to Cleveland to try to figure out what is wrong. Let's just say neither one of us is bright on cars and we rigged my engine fan to stay on. It turns out I had a cracked radiator. It's 11 pm before I leave Cleveland. I have a final exam in Dallas at 8 am on Monday. I wound up stopping to stay with a friend in College STation because I hadn't slept yet (I wasn't going to sleep at the jail for fear of being robbed). Got up at 4 in the morning and drove to take my final.

    Let's just say this sealed the breakup.

  20. #20
    My personal favorite.

    I met a guy from Mexico at a club (I was drunk and thought he was hot, he was not really). He worked at a cafeteria. He picks me up for our first day and his car reeked of grease (Iike from a kitchen). We went to a movie and he proceed to tell me that when we was a kid he was in an accident and that they had to do a skin graft and take skin from his butt and put it on his eyelid.

    "So anytime you want to touch my butt you can just touch me eyelid" This is not a first date story.

  21. #21
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Originally posted by biscuit
    RE: michaelskis date from hell.

    Does she have a sister?

    Oh GOD I hope not...
    You get what you give.

  22. #22
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Originally posted by jtfortin
    Similar to ElGuapo, I had another girl tell me that she was a better human being than I was because she went to church and I didn't..
    Been there too. I had one date where, halfway through lunch, I was asked "How is your personal relationship with the lord Christ Jesus?" When they say "Christ Jesus" instead of "Jesus Christ," you know they're an order of magnitude more religious than your typical born again Christian. I explained my beliefs; I consider myself to be "Christian Lite," but I think there's many different paths to the top of the mountain, and that a kind, loving God doesn't cast otherwise good people into a lake of fire because they have a picture of an elephant with ten arms on their wall, or bow towards Mecca when they pray. She responded by opening her purse, pulling out some scary Jack Chick tracts, and imploring me to read them.

    Oh ... she also spilled a pot of hot coffee into my lap a few seconds later. Dan's Non-Negotiable Dating Policy #1 - no evangelical Christians, ever.

    That wasn't the worst date, though. The absolute worst date ever ... back in college, with a girl I'll call "Jane" for the sake of argument. Over Christmas break, we were going to take a day trip to Toronto. I showed up at her house, only to have her introduce me to her sister. " She's back from a semester in Spain. She's coming with us, okay?" Ugh. I felt like a fifth wheel; Jane and her sister chatted , and even whispered, among themselves while I was left as an appendage. Not fun.

    On the way back ... well, there was a blizzard. Jane's sister kept complaining about my driving, which wasn't helping much when I was piloting a rear wheel drive car at 10 MPH down a snow- and ice-covered QEW. Eventually, I had to find a motel; we weren't going to make it back to Buffalo. A dream realized if it was just me and my date, but ... no, she had to bring her f'ing sister along. The only room at the only motel I could find with a vacancy had one king-sized bed. I slept on the floor. Dan's Non-Negotiable Dating Policy #2 - no chaperones or "can I bring a friend along?", ever.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  23. #23
    Cyburbian SW MI Planner's avatar
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    Eventually, I had to find a motel; we weren't going to make it back to Buffalo. A dream realized if it was just me and my date, but ... no, she had to bring her f'ing sister along.
    Yah, but depending on the situation, some guys would have liked be stranded with sisters

  24. #24
    Cyburbian biscuit's avatar
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    Originally posted by Dan
    Eventually, I had to find a motel; we weren't going to make it back to Buffalo. A dream realized if it was just me and my date, but ... no, she had to bring her f'ing sister along. The only room at the only motel I could find with a vacancy had one king-sized bed. I slept on the floor. Dan's Non-Negotiable Dating Policy #2 - no chaperones or "can I bring a friend along?", ever.
    That sounds like a missed opportunity to me. Could have been a blessing in disguise my friend.

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Jeff's avatar
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    She was a Rusty Wallace fan...me a Dale Earnhardt fan...just couldn't get along. She didn't even ask me into her double wide for an ice-cold Bud after our date to the turkey calling competition.

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