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Thread: Practical Jokes You'll Never Pull

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    Practical Jokes You'll Never Pull

    There are some practical jokes you know you’ll never pull. Get them off your chest now.

    As city planner it would be funny to send an official eminent domain letter to the Planning Director, but I don’t know if he’d appreciate the joke. Another good one is to pretend some horrible use wants to locate here, but we are growth hungry and we already have Walmart so it would have to be nasty.

    Also there’s a guy who works at the counter of a local pizza place we go to a lot. He’s got a big tatttoo of a unicorn on his forearm. We call him “Einhorn.” I’ve been dying to go in there with the same tattoo drawn on my forearm to see if he’d notice but I’ll never do it.

  2. #2
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    I want to call the local Jehovah's Witness church, give them my bosses name, and tell them I'm deeply troubled and need guidance.... But, I'm only home very late at night, and usually just sit in the dark.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  3. #3
    Cyburbian ecofem's avatar
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    A guy in our organization wears a bandanna wrapped around his head (no kidding), and never takes it off. Even when sleeping (not that I know first-hand) or in the swimming pool. Some people have speculated that his long hair is not real, and possibly attached to the bandanna. I want to remove the bandanna and let the hairs fall where they may....

    but I won't do it.... or I haven't had the drunken opportunity to muster up the courage..... yet.

  4. #4
    Cyburbian pandersen's avatar
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    Practical Joke I Have Played On A Co-worker

    I used to work in a large U.S. city planning department (which will go u-named). I used to have to inset a standard condition of approval in development agreements that prohibited the proponent from enclosing his property in razor/barbed wire.

    Well, one day I prepared a phoney development proposal for review by a co-worker. The development in question was being proposed by a fictious store-front church that wanted to re-develop a run-down crack-whore motel (next to an auto-wrecking yard) as a local grocery cheque-cashing outlet (selling only "off-brands"). The site plan I put togther went a long way in retaining the local flavour of the neighbourhood. Specifically, the plan called for car wrecks to be strategically placed around the perimiter of the store (could be used to shelter police snipers) when the displaced crack-whores got into gun/knife fights with their pimps). I could go on, but the point is, as "far fetched" as this proposal seems, it was not something truely out of the ordinary in this City.

    "I left the proposal on my co-worker's desk for review and waited until he had spent a lot of time formalizing hiscomments before I told him it was a hoax!

  5. #5
    Unfrozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
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    I would like to send a comment letter back to a practically annoying developer leaving out all the verbs.

    Unfrozen Caveman Planner
    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    The ends can justify the means.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Habanero's avatar
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    Put something completely outrageous in a memo and see if any Commissioners or Council members catch it- I swear they don't read the memos.
    When Jesus said "love your enemies", he probably didn't mean kill them.

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    So I stopped at my bank over the lunch hour. Where I got this idea, who knows. I took a deposit slip from the stack and wrote on the back of it : THIS IS A STICK UP and then put it back on the stack. The customer probably wont see it, but the tellers have to turn them over to put them in thier printer.

    Bad Chet. Very Bad.

  8. #8
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    Bad Chet. Very Bad.
    I see the why wisconsin is going to hell number increasing by one shortly.

    That is pretty funny, I see an 80 year old woman with her pension cheque going in and being trown to teh ground and frisked in a not nice way.

    This is also one more reason to use bank machines, no opportunity for practical jokers.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Habanero's avatar
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    Oh Chet, that is funny, but very bad. It would've been just as funny in the ATM deposit slips too. Oh Chet, I hpe you don't get that slip next time around!
    When Jesus said "love your enemies", he probably didn't mean kill them.

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    Originally posted by Chet
    So I stopped at my bank over the lunch hour. Where I got this idea, who knows. I took a deposit slip from the stack and wrote on the back of it : THIS IS A STICK UP and then put it back on the stack. The customer probably wont see it, but the tellers have to turn them over to put them in thier printer.

    Bad Chet. Very Bad.
    If an event occurs lets hope they don't review the film of you doing that.

  11. #11
    Cyburbian biscuit's avatar
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    Somebody doesn't believe in karma

    That's very bad Chet. But yet very, very good at the same time.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Habanero's avatar
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    I would love to take the bird clock in the office that sings ont eh hour and hold if for ransom, but it's been said if we were to joke around liek that we'd get a demerit in our file. Damn.
    When Jesus said "love your enemies", he probably didn't mean kill them.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian
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    Send a envelope filled with chalk dust, and a little paper that says "You have the anthrax, you die now"

    Boy that would be a very bad joke.... :p

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    A friend of mine has a corner lot with a very small yard, plus she lives close to a college and has a terrible time growing anything because of all the foot traffic. They have restricted her parking on her side of the street.
    I would love to send over a street crew with all their equipment and have them tell her they intend to widen the street so that she has no more parking and no sidewalk and no yard.

    Why lady didn't you get that letter. They told you they were going to do this and you didn't have any objections!!!!
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  15. #15
    Cyburbian Habanero's avatar
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    Originally posted by SkeLeton
    Send a envelope filled with chalk dust, and a little paper that says "You have the anthrax, you die now"

    Boy that would be a very bad joke.... :p
    James dressed up as antrax for halloween- wore little horns, powdered himself really well and then when people could come up to him he'd shake some dust on them. It was bad, very very bad.
    When Jesus said "love your enemies", he probably didn't mean kill them.

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    Originally posted by SkeLeton
    Send a envelope filled with chalk dust, and a little paper that says "You have the anthrax, you die now"

    Boy that would be a very bad joke.... :p
    I had a thought on a variation of this, but enough good taste not to post it -- until now. Send yourself the letter at work. In front of someone (perhaps someone you do not like very much), tear open the end and turn it over. Let the powder spill out into your hand, then as you study it, sneeze and blow it all over him or her.

  17. #17
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    This happened but I dodnt do it

    In the computer labs in the college dorms in the EARLY days of MIcrosoft Windows, someone posted signs around the room that said "Need Help? Press CNTL-ALT-DEL"

    At least once a night you'd hear loud expletives from a dolt that didnt do frequent saves.

  18. #18
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    Re: This happened but I dodnt do it

    Originally posted by Chet
    In the computer labs in the college dorms in the EARLY days of MIcrosoft Windows, someone posted signs around the room that said "Need Help? Press CNTL-ALT-DEL"

    At least once a night you'd hear loud expletives from a dolt that didnt do frequent saves.
    Remember a program called FID, a file management program for those old Apple IIe's? I wrote and distributed to several underclassmen a program called FIB. The screen looked identical, but no matter which option you selected, it would reformat your floppy disk.

  19. #19
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    I did have a hand in this

    College daze, right before parents weekend (only Freshmen geeks let their parents come to this BTW) we had a wop party and someone spillied a 32 oz mug of red wop in the hall carpet of the dorm. A few cups later, we got our local goth boy "Skitz" to lay down over the red stain and we did a tape outline of his body. After bar time some of the guys came back with stolen "Police Line - Do Not Cross" tape, and right before we headed out to the County Kitchen for sunrise breakfast (followed by Cartoon Club at the bar) we taped it up in front of the elevators. The moles we left behind had a riot watching and listening for reactions.

  20. #20
    Cyburbian
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    I just remembered another one: (thanks to the computer related jokes before)
    This one works in Windows XP:

    Step 1: Take a snapshot of the desktop with the task bar and mouse cursor apearing
    Step 2: Put snapshot as background
    Step 3: hide taskbar and icons (and for better results, leave the mouse at the exact place where it is in the snapshot, and unplug it )
    Step 4: leave and watch how the owner or another user of the pc (hopefully unexperienced) tries to use it!

  21. #21
    Cyburbian boiker's avatar
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    Re: This happened but I dodnt do it

    Originally posted by Chet
    In the computer labs in the college dorms in the EARLY days of MIcrosoft Windows, someone posted signs around the room that said "Need Help? Press CNTL-ALT-DEL"

    At least once a night you'd hear loud expletives from a dolt that didnt do frequent saves.
    I worked in a computer lab in college and we did that! It was great when the people who couldn't believe their computers reset came for help..

    my computer just reset..

    yep.. they'll do that.. did you happen to save your work?

    little did they know autosave had kicked in. I was hero computer guy and retrieved their papers.. it twas all in good fun.
    Dude, I'm cheesing so hard right now.

  22. #22
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    I always wanted to do this to a friend or co-worker in the New Mexico city where I once lived.

    A background: roadside shrines, or descansos at accident sites are quite common in New Mexico, and they're considered sacred among the locals. In New Mexico you just don't remove descansos; it's the equivalent of descecrating a grave. The state DOT and municipal workers tend to leave them alone, and there are many roadside shrines that have been maintained for decades.

    Anyhow, what I wanted to do was create an elaborate descanso in the middle of the night in the ROW in front of the planning dir... uhh, I mean victim's house. They'd wake up, and see this elaborate display of candles, crosses, plastic flowers, and the like dedicated to "Rudy Tellez" or some other common name found in the region. My descanso, though, would be a bit different ... it would also include plastic flowers in 40 ounce malt liquor bottles, lucky lottery number candles, pink flamingos, and other such goodies.

    Imagine waking up, and finding this in front of your house.



    The city won't remove it, of course, and the victim would be very reluctant to touch the thing, lest they be seen as "insensitive" to the local culture.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  23. #23
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Originally posted by Dan
    IImagine waking up, and finding this in front of your house.
    Dear God thats funny - I thought about doing the same thing once! ROTFLMAO

  24. #24
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    I read about this one in a book called "Getting Even" many years ago and wanted SO bad to do it (but didn't). If a bank really ticks you off, go around to all their ATM machines and insert a piece of cheese the size of your ATM card. I think this one was published prior to the banks having cameras everywhere.

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