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Thread: City Mottos: Make up your own.

  1. #1

    City Mottos: Make up your own.

    We all know that many cities, officially or unofficially, have their own motto's, such as New York "The City So Nice, They Named it Twice" or Philadelphia "City of Brotherly Love".

    But how about coming up with some new mottos that, while they may be less than complimentary of the town in question, are at least honest?

    Here are a few that I have come up with:

    Detroit: "See it while it's still there"
    San Francisco: "50,000 gay guys and a straight guy named Stanley"
    Toledo: "If it's significant - it's demolished"
    Chicago: "Putting the NOISe in ILLINOIS"

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Des Plaines : At Least We're not Gary

    Milwaukee : Chicago's Third Airport

    Madison : Nine square miles surrounded by Reality

  3. #3
    Cyburbian H's avatar
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    Atlanta: “look out here we come”

    Miami: “we wont tell if you don’t”

    Knoxville: “if you make fun of us, we will punch you”

    Oxford Ms. “Stop moving here!”

    That is one for every city I have lived in.
    "Those who plan do better than those who do not plan, even though they rarely stick to their plan." - Winston Churchill

  4. #4
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Originally posted by Chet
    Madison : Nine square miles surrounded by Reality
    Hey, that's Boulder's city motto!

    Cheektowaga, New York - "Na zdrowie!"

    Winter Garden, Florida - "Where the houses are mobile, and the cars aren't"

    Buffalo, New York - "Will the last one leaving for Charlotte please turn off the lights?"

    Detroit, Michigan - "The Motor City, know what I'm sayin'?"

    Las Cruces, New Mexico - "Red or green?"

    Fort Worth, Texas - "As seen on COPS"

    (Any city in the northern half of Michigan, including the UP) - "Lock and load!"

    Denver, Colorado - "Birthplace of smooth jazz"

    El Paso, Texas - "Chinga tu madre, vete al infierno, la me culo, y usted pedazo de mierda"

    Highlands Ranch, Colorado - "Where all the houses are the same color as their occupants .. beige"

    Greenwood Village, Colorado - "Interactively and seamlessly supplying scalable, robust paradigms in order to proactively create world-class, resource-leveling, synergistic e-business solutions for Global 2000 clients"

    Gary, Indiana - "At least we're not East St. Louis"

    St. Cloud, Minnesota - "ELCA or Missouri?"
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  5. #5
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Reading PA – It’s like DC, Philly, and NYC without any of the good stuff.

    Lancaster PA – Amish Paradise

    Detroit - It was good enough for Ford, why not you?

    Toledo - Under Construction

    LA – Drive 3 hours one way and see the other end of town

    GAY Michigan – The bar is around the corner

    Hell Michigan – Congratulations we froze over
    "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. Time makes more converts than reason." - Thomas Paine Common Sense.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Jeff's avatar
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    Philadelphia - "We haven't won a championship in anything since 1983."

  7. #7
    Cyburbian SGB's avatar
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    Originally posted by Chet
    Madison : Nine square miles surrounded by Reality

    Originally posted by Dan
    Hey, that's Boulder's city motto!
    Sorry guys. I'm certain that Ithaca, NY has the copyright on that motto already. And it's ten square miles!

    All these years the people said he’s actin’ like a kid.
    He did not know he could not fly, so he did.
    - - Guy Clark, "The Cape"

  8. #8
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    For the city I work in

    The %%%%%%% 20 years beind the times and proud of it.
    The @@@@@@@ walmart's whores.

    That smell, is the smell of money. (paper mill town)
    Last edited by donk; 19 Sep 2003 at 9:47 AM.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    Boston – Don’t bother, dude, you can’t afford it

    Providence – Welcome to Providence, please slip “campaign contribution” under desk

    Manchester, NH – City of Segway Human Transporters

    New Orleans – We're not kiddin' girls actually show their boobs for plastic beads!

    Houston – Whatever, man . . . really, anywhere

    Portland, OR – Ask us why we’re better than your city

    New Haven, CT – Yale! . . . and some other areas you’d be better off ignoring

    Seattle – the City that inspired a generation of heroin addicted, suicidal musicians

  10. #10

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    Here's some for where I've lived:

    Hillsdale, MI: Just another sleepy little redneck town.

    Lansing, MI: Closing up shop since 1972!

    Beacon, NY: Too far from Manhattan and too close to Newburgh

    Bath, ME: Mass-holes go home!

  11. #11
    Unfrozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
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    Alpena, MI - No, we're not Traverse City, we're on the other side of the state.

    Ann Arbor, MI - Where people can think they are still hippies

    Flint MI - Please, Don't leave us General Motors!!!!

    Detroit MI - Think Rome, Italy, circa 1200 AD

    Ypsilanti MI - Ann Arbor's low-rent neighborhood.

    Chicago IL - Capital of young family flight.

    Schaumburg IL - Your dreams fulfilled in Edge City, USA!!

    Elgin IL - We're really not as bad as everyone makes us out to be!
    Last edited by mendelman; 19 Sep 2003 at 12:59 PM.
    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    The ends can justify the means.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian SGB's avatar
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    And now, a word from a more regional perspective:

    _____________ County, NY: We're not sure where it is, either.
    All these years the people said he’s actin’ like a kid.
    He did not know he could not fly, so he did.
    - - Guy Clark, "The Cape"

  13. #13
    Cyburbian tsc's avatar
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    Originally posted by SGB
    Sorry guys. I'm certain that Ithaca, NY has the copyright on that motto already. And it's ten square miles!

    Ithacans think of it as a possitive thing... because the reality of Central NY... is just depressing!!
    "Yeehaw!" is not a foreign policy

    Renovating the '62 Metzendorf
    http://metzendorf.blogspot.com/

  14. #14
    Jacksonville, FL - It's a nice place to live, but you wouldn't want to visit there.

    Gainesville, FL - Known far and wide for our hydroponic agriculture and chemical engineering programs.

  15. #15
    Originally posted by Seabishop
    [B]Houston – Whatever, man . . . really, anywhere
    Another one for Houston:

    "If you see someone walking, they're walking to their car"

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Santa Cruz, CA = "We're like Berkeley but without a sense of humor." or "We take ourselves way to seriously."
    Annoyingly insensitive

  17. #17
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Orlando FL: There's more to life than theme parks....NOT!

  18. #18
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    Calgary – Come see our cowboy shtick after the snow melts in July

    Miami – We got some really good sh$t my man, real f’ing pure

    Provincetown, MA – The real City of Brotherly Love
    or No Mom, we're all just friends, really.

    Bangkok – We love you long time

    Hong Kong – This is density, you suburban pansies!

    Hanoi – That wasn’t chicken

    Nashville, TN – Home of 50,000 Shania Twain-wannabe waitresses

    Austin - What are we doing in Texas?

    Montreal - We understand you, we're just rude

    Anchorage, AK – We don’t know why we're up here either

  19. #19
    Cyburbian Big Easy King's avatar
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    New Orleans - "Our street potholes will ruin your car!"

    Philadelphia - "Where you get a free side of heart attack with
    every cheesesteak sandwich."
    A person who strives is one who thrives. It's GREAT to be THE KING!!!

  20. #20
    Cyburbian biscuit's avatar
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    Greenville, SC - Bob Jones + Yuppies = White Republican paradise.

    Charleston, SC - Come for the history, stay for the booze.

    Myrtle Beach - Please pick up your standard issue "wife-beater" upon entering city limits.

    Richmond, VA - Lee may have surrendered, but we didn't!

    Venice, Italy - Open sewers never looked so pretty.

  21. #21
    Cyburbian El Feo's avatar
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    Columbia, SC - 2 to 4 Hours from Places You'd Rather Be

    Detroit - The men who made us famous all lived in the suburbs - that's all you need to know!

    Hilton Head, SC - NO, we DON'T have any freakin' Dunkin Donuts around here. But I'm sure they do back in Pennsylvania!

  22. #22
    Unfrozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
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    Originally posted by El Feo
    Detroit - The men who made us famous all lived in the suburbs - that's all you need to know!
    The Above, Slightly Modified:

    Detroit - The men who made us famous all eventually moved to the suburbs - that's all you need to know!
    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    The ends can justify the means.

  23. #23
    Member steveanne's avatar
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    Originally posted by Chet
    [B]Des Plaines : At Least We're not Gary

    Yowch!!!!

    How can you say that about "The City of Destiny?" Heh heh.

    Just because I stop for 4 different trains on 4 different sets of tracks on my way home from work? And because I can't hear myself think when the 711 United Flight from O'Hare to Las Vegas flies over my house?

    It's not like Des Plaines is Hamilton, Ontario or anything.


    So... with that,
    Hamilton, Ontario: "Put your nose-plugs on, eh?"
    Kenosha, Wisconsin: The lie and say "I'm from Chicago" City
    Celebration, FL: Disney presents "Pleasantville"
    Clermont, FL: "Where Senior Citizens Die."
    Erie, PA: Largest Rest Area Between Buffalo and Cleveland. (Besides Angola, NY - but we're working on it!)
    Los Angeles: "City Nicknames Are Sooooo Last Week"
    Niagara Falls, NY: "Puh-lease set up business in the Rainbow Center"
    Green Bay, WI: The "What's a Crate and Barrell?" City
    Chicago, IL: "The Suburb Killer" (Des Plaines and Elk Grove - we're looking at you next)
    Macon, GA: The "we've had banjos banned" State. Come visit!
    Sault Ste. Marie: "Just like Canada, except more expensive!"
    Last edited by steveanne; 19 Sep 2003 at 11:51 AM.

  24. #24
    Cyburbian
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    Valdivia, Chile: Yeah, it's raining, stop whinning and get used to it!

  25. #25
    East St. Louis, Ill: "At least we're not Newark, NJ"

    Indianapolis, IN: "You say 'Nap Town' one more time and we'll drop the Midwestern nice stuff, butthead!"

    Louisville, KY: "We really ARE more than bourbon, cigarettes and horse racing. We got HOOTERS."

    Cincinnati, OH: "Home of Ken Griffey, Jr. For now."
    Je suis Charlie

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